>dating a single mom
you fucked up now kid
Be respectfully pragmatic and stand up, if it is not your type of personality it is time to make it yours. Dating a woman with a child is a bit more of a commitment. Leaving may cause the child to have multiple father figures, obviously this isn't the most crucial period for the kid to have a dad. But I think if you love the girl and appreciate the child you should stand up and tell him with powerful wording that he left his commitment and it's your job now to take care of his son as a father. You could add something with the whole him not paying child support. All up to you.
>>17302288
Quietly and matter-of-factly correct the child. "No, I'm not Papa, I'm Dave" He'll learn and think nothing of it.
>>17302300
This, and if he tries to pick a fight with you call the police.
>>17302750
If he is sticking around and raising the damned kid, he is "papa"
>>17302288
Tell him since he's not your kid that's not your call. What the child knows as far as father figures isn't your decision any more than it is his since he wants to play deadbeat dad. The child's mother has all the power, if he wants to be the kid's "real father" tell him to stop bothering you and go talk to your girlfriend about it.
>>17302306
>not finding motherhood naturally attractive
How's it feel to have dick up your ass, anon? Never mind, I don't need to know.
>>17302753
This
Shooting sperm in a woman's vagina does not make you a dad (or papa), damn what the cuckposters say.
If you want to be the kid's dad, well, like the other anon said, the guy left the spot empty.
I'd talk about this with your gf first, though.
>>17302288
Fuck that guy, get a restraining order and let the kid call you whatever you are comfortable with.
Don't give in to threats and if you are man enough to date a chick with a kid, then wear that shit like a badge of honor and fuck what anyone says about it.
>>17302306
Gotta say OP, I agree with this, but I avoid the baggage a single mom brings, partly because the dad is never far behind as you just stated.
The mom and the REAL dad shared a 'bond' that created human life. She'll always have feelings or some tiny magnetic tether to him because of this and the only thing that stands between them is you. How well do you think it's going to work out if she wants to get back with the real dad? What will you when the kid starts to ask questions or wants to know the real dad?
Maybe you are the exception and the dad was a real piece of shit which it sounds like, but wow I could tell you some horror stories if I had the time to write and post it OP.
>>17302796
>The mom and the REAL dad shared a 'bond' that created human life
They had sex and she managed to stay alive for 9 months, big fucking whoop.....
>>17302796
Yeah, open heart surgery doesn't work out sometimes either, does that mean we should stop trying to save lives?
>>17302808
>They had sex and she managed to stay alive for 9 months, big fucking whoop.....
If this is OP, this sentence alone says so much about you then it does her.
>>17302823
>If this is OP
It's not.
>>17302822
wow, so much defense for single moms, must have a lot of people raising somebodies kids on the board today, and like I said "Maybe you are the exception"
>>17302823
Also not OP, but if you think it's entirely impossible for people to have babies outside of happy traditional relationships you're fucking delusional.
>>17302831
Nobody is defending that slut OP is dating, but they obviously stuck together for long enough time for the kid to fucking start talking.
I have plenty of friends who either have stepmoms or stepdads, it turns out just fine. Of course, in most cases the real father or mother isn't out of the picture, but it's not like the counterpart is continuously considering going back... There's a reason why it didn't work out in the first place.
How many ex girlfriends have you started over with? I bet that number is pretty close to 0.
>>17302831
When I say, "somebodies kids", I mean somebodies kids that isn't theirs.
>>17302831
Or maybe some kids from shitty divorced families who got really lucky the second time their parents married you narrow-minded bile spewing shitheel.
P.S., I'm single, no kids.
>>17302796
>>17302831
>stepparents doesn't exist
>>17302836
And yet, you didn't read part yet again when I wrote "Maybe you are the exception"
I keep an open mind, try it sometime and read the whole sentence before commenting.
>>17302837
Me, none, but I've known a single mom that run back or waited for the ex to return so like I keep saying,
there are exceptions.
>>17302852
You're failing to realize (over and over again) that people going back to their exes after a wrecked relationship are the exception...
>>17302862
>>17302852
I mean, just look at this fucking board. It's full of pathetic fucks who are obsessing over some gf they lost 5 years ago that are currently happy in a new relationship and will never come back.
>>17302862
You counter to my argument of "there is is exceptions" is arguing "there is exceptions"?
Wow...I'm glad we could agree on this, goodbye.
>>17302870
>You counter to my argument of "there is is exceptions"
No, my counter was to your "she will leave you for the douche of a father" argument, learn to read.
>>17302288
My oldest nephew could've been your step-son. My sister was fed up with the baby dad's failure to follow up, pay child support, and generally being present, so she told him that he could get out of it all if he wanted, but that he'd then also have no right to call himself the kids father.
Said nephew was adopted by my sisters husband, and he now has two siblings. Today my nephew is 19. He's always known the truth regarding his biological father, and they have some contact now and then.
PS: Despite being a general "my band is about to make it"-kind of loser, the biological father managed to put aside some money every month since my nephew was 2, saving up for a huge 18yo gift. He redeemed himself eventually to some degree.
Anecdotes aside, this: >>17302300
OP here, fell asleep last night before responding.
Thanks for all of the input. I've talked to my girlfriend about it today but she wasn't incredibly decisive. We agree we just want him out of our hair but don't know the best method.
I would suggest giving up on the child support litigation because I make plenty of money to provide, but in the event we don't stay together I wouldn't want her to be in a worse position.
>>17302760
It's inherently anti-masculine to raise another man's child. What does a lion do when he becomes the new king of the pride? He kills his predecessor's cubs, because he doesn't want to waste time and resources ensuring the survival of another male's genes.
Now, I know we are not lions, of course. But to say that we ought to find a woman being a mother to another man's kids attractive is absurd. In fact, it's majorly cuckish.
>>17303111
I would be interested to see how you rationalize adoption.
>>17303111
you are an asshole. please don't reproduce.
>>17303101
>I would suggest giving up on the child support litigation because I make plenty of money to provide
Assuming this guy is as big of a piece of shit as you make him sound, (didn't want and has avoided any responsibility of the child, but is going to start fights with mommy's new man over a kid saying "daddy" because he wants that "prestige" and is going to be up your ass out of nowhere) giving up on child support is absolutely retarded. You have only been with this girl for a couple of years, that is nothing, especially when there is another factor in there along with you two that's the same importance of her child.
Also, if things go south between you two, she can start sacking child support from you because "you assumed a fatherly role". Then, you're paying for a kid that isn't yours, while the real dad is off the hook. Don't be "noble" with this shit, OP, because the law sure as fuck isn't.
>>17303132
I forget how reddit this board is sometimes.
>>17303168
What happened here? I haven't been here in months, and I don't remember it being this bad. I swear that it is a lot of reddit here, judging from that annoying and creepily similar speech pattern most of them have.
>>17303168
holy shit just stop talking
>>17302306
I'm being a downer here but unless he real father is dead, it's near impossible to compete with that in a relationship
>>17302760
Projecting much?