picture of my ex came up on my facebook with her new boyfriend.

>>17300372
I wish I knew, but honestly I just went through 8 years of depression without knowing what the fuck I was doing and now I feel okay.

>>17300376
looking back I've had pretty bad depression for most of my life and I just didnt realize that it wasnt a normal amount, and I had irrational anxiety over things as far back as being like a 4 or 5 year old.
college made things a lot worse though.

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Ok, so I dont want to be a leech, so I'll post things that ive found helpful in situation like this (while simultaneously bumping my own thread)

Working out. not running as I hate cardio, but lifting weights for at least an hour, even up to 3 hrs a day have immense effects on my mood for the rest of the day. I had been told that side effects of working out are better mood and neurotransmitters and stuff, but i never really wanted to do it, until I started doing it. after almost 3 years its become a regular part of my life. I do see a significant change in my overall mood - no longer severely depressed, wanting to get hit by a car, just waiting to die all the time. Also its fun to try new things and see how your body reacts like exercises and dietary restrictions. Also went from 196 and like 30% bodyfat to 186 and 12-15%, which is a substantial difference in body comp, and I feel healthier physically speaking, no upset stomach, chronic back pain, or migraine headaches.

Vitamin B has noticeable fast acting effects, but I have to take it in large doses. usually whats in a 5hr energy is 12,000 and 8,000 percent B12 and B6 for the day and that helps me.

Walking is good for general calmness. I walk or try to walk to class (when I was in school), school, gym, and store for small things. I was at a time walking between 7 and 10 miles a day.

During that time I started listening to podcasts a lot. good distraction and more intellectually stimulating than music. I listen to Joe Rogan, Your Moms House, Radiolab, Dr. Rhonda Patrick, Planet Money (great way to learn about the economy in short, relevant bits), Snap Judgement, and Wait, Wait, Dont Tell Me

I briefly had a job writing computer code for a USDA lab, and one summer by boss pulled me off the computer to pick blueberries with some of the other people in the lab. It was the best job Ive ever had. A lot can be said about working outside and with other people. look in to it for the experience.