Hey anons, what are household items i can fuck? I tried hollowing

your hand

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>>17285841
>the only problem is is that i cant make a fucking cucumber disappear every-week
why not ? go buy your own fucking veg , your mom needs fucking veg too.

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>>17285841
>what are household items i can fuck?

>>17285841
why not just buy one of those male masturbation tools/toys

or this >>17285846

I always thought socks were the default

>>17285841
>what are household items i can fuck?

your mom

>>17285841
A wife

This thread makes me want to be a boy. Masturbation is so much easier and straightforward as a man

>>17286422
Are you kidding me? Just massage your clit, ffs.

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>>17285841
Dress up a pumpkin.

>>17286422
you have a hole, you insert something into it or rub it

its not rocket science

This question makes me sad.

There was an guy on /ck/ testing this last week.

Apparently grapefruits are ok

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Pic related

>>17286440
>>17286434
>implying women have it easier

>>17286855
retard

>>17286884
no u

>>17286897
same

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>>17285841

>>17286422
Ditto.

>>17286434
What's more fun, sticking your dick inside shit, or haphazardly rubbing a big pillow all over it?
Clits are just cheap little baby dicks that you can't even stick inside anything or use to piss in a bottle, what a racket.

>>17286437

Come halloween, I'm going to be mighty suspicious of any jackolantern with circular eyes.

>>17286855

more like implying women and men both masturbate and it's basically the same

seemed like a refutation of the post it was in response to which implied that men had it easier.

so people are just people? idk radical thought

this thread has devolved from something glorious into a meaningless and SRS gender-differences "OH MY GROUP HAS IT SO BAD" shitfest

make household items fuckable again

men and women can both fuck vegetables, end the hatred

>>17288073
>men and women can both fuck vegetables, end the hatred
You know it's love when you fuck the cucumber at the same time.

>>17288074

using cucumber as a dick-sheath during sex

a+ 1000%

Hollow out a hole in a watermelon

Put a bird on it

>>17285841
meat grinder
cheese grater
egg slicer
toaster

>>17286848
I kind of want to try this. Are there more clear instructions?

OP, stop stealing your mothers cucumbers. She needs to masturbate with them.

>>17285841
Why did they let school out?

Judging by Anon's average dick size: a power socket.

how about a banana? say cut it in half then hollow it out peel intact and go for it

>>17286618
LOL, why? Everyone masturbates, and at least this way nobody gets hurt. I mean shit, there's guys masturbating in bushes while looking at dogs in the park. That's not healthy for anyone, especially the dog. At least OP is fixated on something inanimate.