How does someone find value in himself ? That's something

selfish bump

>>17278209
You do something that forces you to see/deal with people.
You probably have little experience with humans so your sample size is bad, this makes it easier to generalize.

My friend, you're at what you perceive to be rock bottom. If that is true, you can only go up from here. You're MAKING AN EFFORT, damn you, be proud of yourself, even if only for that one thing. You're in a shitty state of mind, and you keep on keeping on. That's the spirit dude(tte). If you love draw, be drawer. If you can't pretend, stick to what you know, and go from there, work on you just like you do. Go someplace different or new for a weekend and just canvas the landscape. At worst, if you can't find beauty in people, you can surely find it and capture it in nature.

>>17278209
I can identify quite well with you...

I am also pessimistic, cynical or even sarcastic and my life experiences made me more of a misantroph. On top of that I am very self-conscious with a lack of confidence in every aspekt about me.

I try to improve myself though. Now I am in my master studies (science) and I am also trying to get into better shape.

But in contrast to you I do not have any friends and not for the lack of trying...

I do not know if there is any value in humans or life in general besides utility, somewhat like morally valuable or something similar.
But it seems that the only way of recieving the impression of valuability is to be sherished by people, which than influences your self-esteem, etc.
Seems to be like conformation of your reflection in a positive way. If you lack it... well, then you end up like me.

Nobody has shown anything to me. I want to vanish into oblivion... who knows, maybe I am already in oblivion since there is nobody that would remember me.

>>17278436
>damn you, be proud of yoursel
how?
where does this perception come from?
how does it feel?

>>17278443
It comes as an almost cathartic resignation when things don't go as you want or you plan. By shrugging and saying "Welp, at least I tried.", you can at least force yourself to recognize that you put forth effort. After all, most people don't even Try. You haven't given up, you keep trying. Even as a pessimist.

>>17278455
nobody cares how much you try
only the result matters, even better if you did not have to put in a huge amount of effort
could show that you were smart or skilled...

>>17278440
I can't even say that I really have friends. I will not see anyone during 2 months. As I said no one really keep in touch.
Maybe I'm doing something wrong, I rarely talk about me and can be quite aloof. I'm often perceived as a clumsy nice guy but no one really care or know past that.
I can talk without being too awkward when I 'm at ease but I always feel like shit compared to anyone so I can feel inferior.
They are people a few years older than me who have jobs and probably are starting families any i' m still a fucking manchild who can't get past his insecurities.

>>17278455
The first time I tried with someone was when I confessed to someone I met in college. But she was older and had someone since 4 years.
That was the first time I fell in love.
It still hurt a month after, knowing that she's not the one

File: I_know_that_feel_sharks.jpg (46KB, 500x316px) Image search: [Google]

46KB, 500x316px

>>17278209
>>17278440
I feel with you guys.

I'm also similar.

>>17278209
You swallowed the college blue pill and asked for seconds.

Leave college now while you're only $300k in debt!

>>17278209

i do things that i enjoy. some of them are 'productive'. finishing them makes me have value. finishing them and doing a good job, gives me more value.

i will likely never be the top of any field im in, for fun or for business. but you dont need to be. very few people actually are. there are many types of value. a girl can just stay at home and raise her kids and shes considered valued because the kids get decent grades, one went to college, etc.

i think the issue is more that you want to be miserable then anything. its kinda edgy

>>17278209
I'm 18 and your activities and abilities remind me of myself. What stuff do you like to draw?

>>17278732
Yuropoor, my parents are not paying that much I think, at least not as much as Ameribros

>>17278739
I really don't want to be miserable.
It's just that I don't have really anything to be proud of.
The fact that I've never been able to really connect with anyone doesn't help.
Last night, I couldn't sleep and cried alone in my bed for no reason, I just dont know how I can het past all of this.
I don't count on my exercizing at home to change me physically and mentally

Is it because you finish things that you can be confident ? How can it be related ?

>>17278756
I'm really into comics or illustration, I can't really say what I draw, it's mostly super heroes, mecha, things like that.
I don't keep most of my works, I don't really like them anymore after a while.

>>17278209
Why not get better at art? I used to have your problem, but my artistic ability justifies my existence for me. If I make something worthwhile, then I feel worthwhile. Perhaps you could do the same.

Okay OP Cut your shit out, you're just throwing yourself under the bus to feel better about being a failure.

Everyone is a success you just needa get there. Try and answer a few of these questions:

1. Is there one skill in my life I can say is better than anyone around me?

2. If I had all the money and power in the world what would I do?

3. If you're living with your parents, how would you like to live if you were alone ? (your parents not here anymore).

Your parents are gonna die, you better embrace that feeling so not only can you take better care of yourself, but you can seriously gain some focus and perspective on life?

-----------------------------------------------------------------
I'd suggest to experiment on a lot of different hobbies, such as music, art. entertainment, and also try to make some of your own.

Maybe you're more of a Maths, Science kind of guy. If you love chemistry you can also work to make fireworks, and other entertainment goods etc.

Theres always a way, if you have the will. Right now you don't.

So I suggest stop bullying yourself, stop worrying about your friends. You will always make your best friends through your passions OP. Use that fact to your advantage.

I'd say about a month, just relax, go travel with family.

And then when you're feeling more refreshed, try to experiment and see what crafts you're really into. Develop that 1 skill that you feel like you can do better or something new.

Also stop fucking bullying yourself. If you shouldn't do it to other people why the fuck are you doing it to yourself. Theres no reason other than you feel guilty for someone else making you feel this way.

>>17278904

Drawing is my "thing" I would say, can't say I'm a genius, but I can't say i'm utter garbage either.

If I had all the money and power, I would nourish my ego maybe, to feel better about myself ( false kindness, trying to be nice so people love you, thats what I do)

I'm living with my parents but during college I have my own place, I think I can a bit take care of myself, I'm young and I have time to learn I guess

>>stop bullying yourself, stop worrying about your friends. You will always make your best friends through your passions OP

I never met anyone who likes drawing, well I met people who likes it in college because I study something a bit related to it.
Hell, most of people I know probably don't even know that I like to draw, showing how much I talk about me in public

>>go travel with family.

yeah, no.

>>stop fucking bullying

I really don't know why I do it,

>>you feel guilty for someone else making you feel this way.

I don't get it, I've been like that for a long time. If you mean that someone is making me feel like that, well maybe, I've been rejected and it was the first time I actually tried to be with someone so yeah, it hit me, but that can't be the only reason

The thing is that I feel so much behind everyone, like I'm late on everything. People are in their 20 and are starting their "real" life, as I said they have relationships, their jobs, some are even having their first child. That's something who seems so unattainable to me.
Posting here makes me feel better and I can say to someone what I feel, but I feel I'm just crying like a brat

>>17278931
OP again, forgot to ask one thing

being in better shape wouldn't change anything, right ? Maybe I would be more proud of myself, but so unsure of how useful it is to do it at home

>>17278940
Physically yea, it'll make you look more intimidating so if people talk shit to you, they'll be more afraid of you once you stand up to them.

Looking at your answers I see that you feel kinda stuck about where you are in your life.

Do you have a job? A lot of children end up like they're parents if they stay with them for too long. Cause once you start thinking "Hey I'm gonna be way better than you, or I'll never be as bad as you" then you've pretty much become your parents who think they're better than every body else.

Maybe first look at yourself, see where you've inherited your bad traits. Aside from Drawing, do you have any skills that can get you a paying job?

If travel with family wont do, I suggest go alone and do a lot of soul searching. If you've never heard of backpack travelling I suggest researching it.

Look at your routes, plan your journey ahead of time, It'll be an amazing experience. If you're going into woods, dont go too deep without at least telling a friend, so if you get lost for period of them, they can contact the police.

>>17278940
Physically yea, it'll make you look more intimidating so if people talk shit to you, they'll be more afraid of you once you stand up to them.

Looking at your answers I see that you feel kinda stuck about where you are in your life.

Do you have a job? A lot of children end up like they're parents if they stay with them for too long. Cause once you start thinking "Hey I'm gonna be way better than you, or I'll never be as bad as you" then you've pretty much become your parents who think they're better than every body else.

Maybe first look at yourself, see where you've inherited your bad traits. Aside from Drawing, do you have any skills that can get you a paying job?

If travel with family wont do, I suggest go alone and do a lot of soul searching. If you've never heard of backpack travelling I suggest researching it.

Look at your routes, plan your journey ahead of time, It'll be an amazing experience. If you're going into woods, dont go too deep without at least telling a friend, so if you get lost for period of them, they can contact the police.

Well any more questions sir?

Thing is dude, unfortunately those 20 years are gone. My friend is in the same position as you, and she was bullied throughout her entire life. Right now she's working as a teacher and loves dealing with children (especially the naughty ones).

It was after a prep talk where I frankly told her and I will tell you the same. You wasted your life. Whether it was your family that fucked you over, whether your friends fucked you over, whether your current climate fucked you over. Unfortunately your life is yours, so whatever you allow to happen to you, is saying to yourself that you accept that.

Obviously you're crying out for help. Most people with self acceptance issues have poor boundaries which allow you to be manipulated and/or used for other people selfish means.

If your desired result is to be happy, I suggest dealing with your anger. You have not connected with that emotion properly, most likely out of fear of consequence if your parents punish you for voicing out, maybe you felt so angry you were about to do something immoral so you stopped feeling yourself.

You've got some form of depression (numbing yourself from anger will eventually cut ties to all emotions, same with any of em).

The only way to fix this OP is to have some personal responsibility,

My parents put me in a bad situation, its my RIGHT to get out of it.

People make me unhappy, its my RIGHT to be happy without hurting anyone.

It is your RIGHT to do whatever you can to make your life better.

And what happens when your rights start to feel infringed on? You feel wrong.

Thats where you are right now. I'm sorry man if you do feel like nothing is going to get better, then just kill yourself as painlessly as possible. Carbon Monoxide after sleeping pills will do the trick. I wont lie to you, it wont be worth it.

But if you have even a SLIVER of hope for your life. Then you better snatch it back from the people who are robbing it from you,

>>17278209
We all have each our own valuable traits, but we're undoubtedly not aware of all of them at the same time. Sometimes a partner can help us see what these things are.

As an example, some people are very warm personality wise, some people are orderly and has neat solutions to every small problem, some people are good at giving advice etc.

However, if we don't get to be in situations where these traits are useful to other people, we might never know we have them or value them properly.

What i'm saying is to get out there and find out how you can brighten other peoples lives through being yourself. If you're not an absolute prick, this should be possible.

>>17278986
I don't have a job, I don't even have finished my studies

How am I supposed to travel alone, I don't have money and I wouldn't know what to do.
Maybe in my mid twenties or when I 'm more mature

>>17279013
So basically, I should tell how I feel and when something is wrong.
I guess I should, but Christ, I never did. I don't really talk to my parents. I 'm not at a age where I can be punished, it's just that I always listened and never talked out. I just deal with it.

Should I think more about myself? I don't know how I can be happy and have a better life. I guess I should focus on my drawing for now.
As for relations, maybe do what I want, and think about me. But you don't really have much people so that would take time. I should let my anger out more often?

>>17279026
I guess I' m a good ear. I don't think I'm a bad person. I can't be that terrible.

>>17279101
>i don't think I'm a bad person. I can't be that terrible.

Definitely not. The simple fact that you seek advice about how to change you life in a more positive direction is evidence enough.

There's lots of people out there who are terrible human beings. People who wouldn't actively seek out how to be a better person.

The fact that you're not one of these people is already a valuable trait in itself.

File: 1464592908572.jpg (11KB, 293x172px) Image search: [Google]

11KB, 293x172px

>>17279139
Thanks I appreciate it. I will try to become a better person. Be more uplifting, standing up for myself more often, trying to get better at drawing and maybe care about others.
I will feel like shit for the next 2-3 months because I don't have anything to do but I'll still try and when I return to college, I 'll work on all of this.

Yea OP, Pay more attention to your needs, and take the time out to reflect on your own thoughts and feelings. Even if its when you take a shit.

They do say if you "give a shit" or not anyway :)

>>17279155
Yes this!!!!!!

Cry bitch and Moan, But if at the end of it you can get to what you're feeling right now then it's worth it!!

Nothing better than seeing someone take charge of their life for the better. You can do it OP!

>>17279155
Glad to help.

Best of luck.

>>17279165
>>17279234
OP here, However I have a last question who just came to mind , not completely related maybe
This feeling of being behind the others, and this fear of being behind, how do I deal with it?
It remind me of this girl, who is few years older than me. I know I will never be with her, but I feel frustrated by how far she seems. She's will probably start her "life" in the upcoming years (job, family, adult life) and it makes me feel like I can't keep up with anyone or with her.
It makes her or other people out of me reach

>>17279375
This is the thing. You compare yourself to other people, and you shouldn't.

She has problems too, you just don't know about them.

I think we all know the feeling of crushing on a girl/boy out of our league, but we just got to do the best that we can and then call it a day. If that doesn't mean getting together with that girl/boy, then so be it.

Her or her boyfriend isn't necessarily more happy than a less attractive couple, you know.