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I just realized that I'm incredibly narcissistic. People have always described me as self-centered, and that irked me, but then I realized what I was.
I don't value other people. I don't see them as real. When you mow down enemies in a shooter, do you feel bad for them? Those enemies exist to be mowed down.
Now, let me clarify, I'm not saying I'd murder someone. I'm just saying that I have this fucked up perspective where human beings are just backdrops, props, NPCs, etc., in the story of ME. I observe reality from a egocentric perspective, this world is like a daydream and it will evaporate when I die.
But I also acknowledge that I'm a shitlord for being this way.
Sadly, as time goes on, I feel more detached from reality. If I feel like I'm in a dream, then how does anyone else matter but the dreamer? It's getting to the point where I only see people as objects to be used. I don't want to be this person. I never set out to be like this, I always thought I was kind and virtuous over all. But if I ultimately feel like the entire universe is just a dream that exists to entertain my dumb ass, I'm probably a really shitty person, am I not? How do I be better?
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every YOLO normie feels the same way even thought most of them aren't as self-aware as you. if you experience pain your mindset will probably change
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>>17272398
What kind of pain? Physical or mental?
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>>17272449
both. if you suddenly got cancer your "dream" would seize to be enjoyable. all the npcs would continue living their lives unaffected by your suffering
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>>17272449
>>17272496
So really anon means emotional pain. The thing about that though, is that it can make you spiral even more into shitlord narcissism. Get some hobbies, try to become a small time youtube personality. Follow your dreams but consider a way that you can effect other people positively despite it.
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You have to realize the human race is a single entity comprised of multiple constituents that you are but a small part of. Some people stick out more than other's for their achievements or natural gifts and talents, but in the end it's all humanity traveling through space on this shuttle we call planet Earth. The history of mankind and our future is shared among us all. When you learn to balance both your own individual needs and wants with your own place in humanity as a collective whole, then you might learn to be less narcissistic. Try doing something like volunteer work or getting involved in politics in your area. You might feel less selfish if you see yourself as a leader or helper of people.
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>>17272300
Derealization is a symptom in many mental disorders.
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