Hello everyone.
tl;dr: I am not able to get children, and its killing me on the inside. Its so hard to deal with it, and it rally matters to me :(
I feels so empty, I just want to cry. With each day that has passed the memory it just gets worse and worse.
When I see a mother with her child, it upsets me every time because I know I wont ever feel how its like having a beautiful soul by my side to love and care for.
Last week I got the final results and shortly after I broke out in tears. Its official: I am never ever going to be pregnant at all.
I told my boyfriend about it and I waited for a response, since he really wanted me to get children and so on. First it was minutes, then hours.
After days of waiting on him I realized where we stood. His silence said it all. It revealed my worst fear, he left me. I am alone. That’s all I’ll ever be :( I will never have a family to care for. I will never hear the beauty of the word "mommy". The empty silence gets to me and makes me feel depressed because I'm alone with my mind with no one else around. And I know now, no one should be allowed to know what it feels like to cry alone in their room. I lay in bed, left only with my thoughts.
Damn, that's tough luck.
Ever tried speculating artificial insemination?
These are dark days indeed. But, everything will be fine eventually. Trust me.
>>17264539
enough kids that are dropped off at the orphanage by unloving mothers that really want to call you mommy fyi
>>17264539
thanks for your fast reply!
I tried to look for different ways, but it all ends up the same. The price is quite high since I dont really have much money to spend on.
:(
I still dont know how to deal with that. And maybe there’s nothing more left to be said. And maybe my story is over. Like who’s saving me now as I slowly drown
There's always adoption. Plenty of unwanted babies. You sound better off without that boyfriend anyway. You should focus on yourself for now and maybe adopt when you're financially ready.
>>17264589
>Adopt a little nigger
>prepare to be forever alone
I'm sorry about your situation op, but there's more to life than being a baby factory. This could be an opportunity to reevaluate your life. Do you really enjoy your job, do you find meaning in it or was it just something to pay the bills? You need to live the most fulfilling life you can because you only get one.
I know this sucks, but you are not the first person who could not conceive and you will not be the last. You'll get through this, you're stronger than that.