I was thirteen years old when it all happened. I've known

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I was thirteen years old when it all happened.
I've known him all my life. So I didn't believe that anything bad would ever come from talking to him.

So one night I snuck out of my house to go meet him, I was thirteen at the time and he was twenty.
I was given drinks at his friends house and something was slipped into my drink. At the end of the night I was going in and out of consciousness.

When I woke up he was forcing me to give him road head. The next thing I know he's on top of me, he told me to promise never to tell but a year later I broke that promise. I gave my testimony to the police, they wanted to charge him with second degree sexual assault felony charges but nothing stuck.

Now here I am five years later, still stuck trying to understand where to go from here. I was never able to be a normal teenager. I never had the chance to lose my virginity to someone that I loved.

I've tried finding him everywhere, it's like he disappeared off the face of the earth. I need to find closure, I need peace. So my question to you is where do I go from here? How do I find him?