I'm going to try to keep this as short as possible. >Have

>>17232046
>I should be really hurt/incensed/sad/whatever, right?
No, you told your friend to spend time with M. Why would you turn around and be mad at him for doing what you told him to do?

>>17232046

I didn't want to break the text limit so I left this detail out, but it's reasonably important - I did just go out of town to visit the best friend for a long Memorial Day weekend, and we're going on a beach vacation in two more weeks that M isn't invited on... so it's not like he's completely blowing me off.

It's just the other people that make me feel bummed out.

File: joke-image-IN-SOVIET-RUSSIA.jpg (32KB, 492x454px) Image search: [Google]

32KB, 492x454px

>>17232046
you don't have to, they can make the progress with him that you wanted to do yourself, they can do the work for you

think of them as negotiators, get them to be an advantage.

black raptor out!

>>17232046
What's with the image

>>17232086

I don't get what you're saying here... but okay friend!

>>17232064

I was hoping we could still make a night of it or something, when we talked I thought I'd get more than 15 minutes of his time.

>>17232100

Becky Lynch from the WWE. Hit her face on a post or something. I don't know.

>>17232169
>I was hoping we could still make a night of it or something, when we talked I thought I'd get more than 15 minutes of his time.
Well you said what you said. Plus, from >>17232068 it sounds like he's spending a lot of time with you that he's not spending with M anyway. It sounds like he's splitting his time evenly between the two of you. And he's within his rights to - he shouldn't have to choose between two friends because you two can't work it out and get along.

Just a huge thing you left out opie: just what the fuck happened to M that he held a grudge so long? Seriously it either must've been a huge deal to him, or he's just childish

>>17232285

M has two major things going on. He doesn't like a guy I keep in contact with. He feels that he is a horrible influence, bad person, and did bad shit to our friends, and by me allowing him into my life, I'm not "picking the right side." Said guy has done some bad things to me, but he's also helped me out in some dark times. I don't like the whole "if my friends don't like you, I don't like you" mindset. But that's how M feels. Loyalty like family kind of thing.

2nd: I "missed" his "kid's" birthday party.

He got back together with his ex-girlfriend after she had another dude's kid, and he essentially adopted the kid. This was a bad idea, but whatever, he can do what he wants. It was his second birthday, and it got canceled at the last minute. M and I had just recently buried the hatchet after he kind of got over the issue above, and I told him I wasn't going to be able to make it to the rescheduled party because I had previous plans. He flipped his shit, saying I was a bad friend, saying I wasn't someone worth respecting, that he can't believe he ever considered me someone he could trust, etc... He said I should be there for his kid and that I was being an awful person because they should be the first priority. I still was going to bring the kid a gift and come say hi another day, I just couldn't make it then...

I honestly still, to this day, feel like I hit my head on a rock and missed something that I said for him to go off like that. I don't get it. The kid's birthday didn't even happen on the rescheduled date but I was not allowed to come to the third reschedule.

I've had a friend from our group who used to get angry like this at me all the time try to explain why I get in trouble for these little things and our other friends don't, and he said it's because "they expect more from me," essentially to be more thoughtful and deep and considerate of their feelings.

Life's a trip.

>>17232352
And this is why I do not have, nor want, a large group of friends. There's more people to piss off accidently and you have to walk razor edges careful not to upset certain friends.

Either you must've accidently said or did something disrespectful (because you mentioned you "keep getting in trouble with these things"), maybe you just have difficulty expressing empathy, maybe M is just a huge dick.

Can't tell everything from your side of the story alone but, it may just be time to just....let it go. M is a lost cause. You may have to back out and lose some friends because of all this

>>17232352
He sounds like a child, leave him and his bad decisions alone and forget about him.

>>17232387

Well, it's M and our other friend who have the much deeper expectations - thus the things I've "been in trouble for." They both expect me not to have any other friends than the group, and feel insulted when I go spend time with other people. It's not as bad for the other guy anymore, but that's how it's been explained to me. Our more mellow friends in the group are kind of given a pass because it feels like they never put much thought into it in the first place.

But, to both you and >>17232388, yeah, M's a lost cause. I've cut him out, and it's why I refuse to go hang out with everyone and tiptoe around him - it's like being at dinner with a divorced couple, since anything that's said that involves us replying to each other is ignored. I have to talk around him.

He's cut out of everything in my life, but in the instances that my friends hang out with him, I have to make a choice.

Since he just broke up with his girlfriend and lost his kid, he's around a lot more though.

>>17232415
Again, I am so glad I easily cut people out of my life so I dont have to deal with shit like that.

It's nice that you can hold onto long friendships, but you don't NEED to keep EVERYONE in your life, especially the very negative lost-cause friends. Cut them out of your life even if it means severing ties with others. You don't need a big excuse. If you're not happy then that's a good enough excuse.

Cut him out. P.s: I'm sorry.

>>17232415
This is how I see your options..

a. Smack M in the mouth anytime he talks shit. You should have done this a while ago I think.
Don't tip toe around someone knocking you or they will keep doing it.


b. Find some new friends.

>>17232663

a. I thought about this. Honestly, I haven't seen him much over the past year until recently, when he's trying to get the group to hang out now that he lost his girlfriend and the kid. She was bipolar and insane and wouldn't let him leave, which is what lead to his drinking. There's no value in hitting a man when he's down. Deep down I still give a damn and wish the best for him too. I'd even just accept being civil to each other instead of pals.

b. I have a lot of friends. This isn't keeping me from having things to do or seeing people.

>>17232449

Also, I didn't say, thanks. I hate cutting people out of my life. It's one of the worst things. I don't need to keep everyone, but you build bonds with people, and to see good friendships and the good ol' days topple over something so trivial? It's lame. Dude was in consideration to be my best man... and in all honesty, if he called and needed me to have his back or pull him out of a fire, I'd probably still jump to and do it.

I just miss my pal, so it stings even more.

>>17232046
What a child M is - no wonder his girlfriend and kid left him. If he's able to hold a petty grudge against a long time friend over idiotic drama - imagine what absolute bullshit they probably put up with.