>be me
>be 24
>graduated last year, but finally get a pretty good job (after a year straight of unsuccessful job search and part-time jobs) with good hours which feels more like play than a job with amazing benefits, retirement, insurance, et cetera
>finally 100% independent, overcame a ton of ridiculous obstacles, all of my problems have been theoretically solved
>I have everything that I could ever need, all by my own hard work
>more depressed than ever
Should I do drugs or something? I mean, I'm being a little facetious, but I don't know what to do. I thought once all this happened, I'd feel great, but I just feel worse. Don't get me wrong. I know how fortunate I am, but it's like, I would really be cool with being dead if it meant I could just "undo reality as if I never was," so that it wouldn't have a negative impact on anyone else in my life. I definitely don't want anyone else to suffer because of me. But I don't want anything from life. I don't want a house, or a family/friends, or any material things. I don't care about travelling, or doing anything meaningful. It's not like I feel cheated, wronged, or that life is unfair. I just feel empty.
Should I talk to a doctor about something to level me out?
Yes. Talk to a doctor. It's not about your situation man, it's about your brain's chemistry. I didn't appreciate my good situation while I was in it because I wasn't on antidepressants and I had suicidal idealization. But now, I'm on antidepressants and it's a subtle change but it's like taking off depression-tinted-glasses. I'd really recommend seeing a doctor with your hella good health plan, and trust in the support of your friends and family.
>>17228795
But I 100% get how you feel. I'm rooting for you anon
>>17228805
I might just do that. It's reassuring to think that it might be something tangible that can be helped.
I can feel myself getting irritable with the people around me, and I don't want to be a jerk to them at all. I've never even been an irritable person. But it's like I get so low that I get frustrated and confused as to why I'm not happy, and then little things set me off internally. And I don't want to push anyone away. I've lost people and I know what it's like to miss something good even if I didn't appreciate it at the time.
Thank you for the suggestion. I'll schedule an appointment.
>>17228806
Thank you very much.
>>17228795
>>17228795
I think it's because you're unfulfilled. You worked towards getting security rather than fulfilling your dream.
Find your life's passion. You're in a position to do anything you want.