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Okay, /adv/, help me, please.
>very secretive, socially anxious and narcissistic throughout primary and middle school
>made some kinda friends
>never hang out with them outside school, overprotective parents
>went to different highschool
>didn't accept party invitation from old school friends
>become less of a jerk, one close friend obtained
>in college on the other side of the state now
The problem: I miss a tiny number of people from primary school, and feel bad that some other people tried to befriend me and i never answered.
It would have been easy if i had close friends at school, i'd try to contact them, that's it.
But I had kinda only one and she was an obliviously selfish type, who never asked me anything about myself and almost never knew me. Also I repeat, I had a cool facade and was very secretive.
I miss her, but when we talked last summer about our mutual acquaintances, i felt completely like a stranger to her. And it wasn't the same for me, she didn't change much, same attitude and habits.
She invited me to hang out with other classmates, but i don't want to see them. When I told her that, she was shocked, because she has the "friends are family thing". I replied some retarded stuff, now she ignores me. It looks like I am still a jerk.
Is there a point to try to cultivate a friendship with people who live on the other side of the state, and don't really know anything about you? (It's my fault, I never told them what i feel, never drank with them and now i also changed).
Actually, is wanting people to know and accept you a bitchy thing? I hate when people discuss broad topics together, never being vulnerable and give you death glares if your opinion differs from their.
Tl;dr miss my school friends, to whom i was a secretive asshole. in college now, is there a point in trying to contact them, i don't have anything in common with most
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Bump.
My loneliness and reminiscing childhood may be the source of my addiction to anime, vidya and pokemon. I need the answer.
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Bump, I regret choosing to alienate from them and the whole thing upsets me.
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>Is there a point to try to cultivate a friendship with people who live on the other side of the state, and don't really know anything about you?
you're asking a worldwide anonymous board of strangers. What do you think?
>My loneliness and reminiscing childhood may be the source of my addiction to anime, vidya and pokemon. I need the answer.
almost everything people do, if they're stable or unstable, tends to be formed around habits.
what habits are you currently engaging in that reinforce the traits about yourself that you've bitched about in OP?
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Bump
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>>17216086
Browsing 4chan whenever I get lonely or a bit stressed, reading webcomics.
The worst traits of mine are gone, what's left is general distrust of people and acceptance of being a loner
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>>17216100
if thats what you think, then why are you having problems now?
and did you really just say you have problems trusting people and being a loner as though being on 4chan helps with that perception?
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>>17216143
Anon, the person I've totally clicked with and wanted to fuck is possibly married now, and I missed my chance I am an idiot.
I'd like to give up browsing 4chan, but i'm not a fan of whining to people irl about how i hate myself, because i overdo it and they get tired.
4chan doesn't.
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>>17216170
4chan is just people. its just the turnover is so high, that you get fresh people in enough that you can't tell when they get tired.
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>>17216312
Yeah, that's the point.
Should I try to initiate contact with people I knew?
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Just stop living in the past, move foward in life and try to work with what you got, you said yourself you have jack shit in common with the other people.
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>>17216591
Thanks, anon, i needed encouragement
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>>17215712
>narcissistic
If you are narcissistic, then I will first say people with your type I deliberately avoid, because they are people which do not care about others, only themselves and how they feel, and want to know how to manipulate others for their own gain.
Regardless, I'll try to help. Just send out a message to them and see if they respond. If they don't, then you can't do anything about it. It's nothing personal, they just have moved on and have other stuff to do now. I got in touch with a friend which I haven't seen in about 15 years about a year ago - we got together and had a great time. We are now catching up from time to time. Understand though, that since you havent seen your friends for a while, they probably have different priorities and you won't necessarily be able to get along the same way you did before. My friend is now married, and has a business - we get along, but not the same way as before. So just go for it, but if it doesn't work out, you will just have to accept it and move on.
Man, I hate myself for giving advice to narcissists.
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