I'm lonely and I want to meet girls. I am on antidepressants

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The semester has got to be nearly over, right?

>>17194254
In Canada it just started. Plus I just started the antidepressants so I can't really drink for at the very least one whole year.

>>17194194

> i cant drink

then dont? 99% of the time i go to a bar im just drinking water, or a soda if its a special occassion. i do like beer but i like to have my wits about me.

especially if oyu order a soda girls wont notice you arent drinking. just say its a rum and coke.

my best friend is a total ladies man and hes only ever had one shot of vodka in his life. he doesnt drink for stupid family semi religious reasons.

also consider the following:

>>17194410
advice

>dont just hit on a woman

its no secret that women are the ones who are approached, and they make decisions on which men to keep in their lives. that being said, desperately drooling over each and every girl as if they are a potential love interest is silly.

give yourself more value by not letting a woman sway you on first impressions alone. before you ever begin to say anything remotely flirtatious, talk to the girl. see what she actually acts like when you interact with her. have a normal conversation. if there isnt anything special there beyond her looks, friendzone her. or simply stop talking to her. you do not need to hit on each and every girl that looks good enough to be your partner.

doing this gives you more value, and the psychological effects are great. in addition, women will take you more seriously. instead of being 1 of 500 men in new york who went straight for the kill, you took the time to get to know them. whether it goes anywhere or not, this approach also just gives you practice talking to girls in a casual context. its less pressure than trying to impress them.

>>17194413


>only ever use dating apps as a supplement to your real life dating.

dating apps are toxic. consider the following
>people use dating apps because they arent having much luck in real life
>they go to a dating app where they are introduced to an entire smorgasbord of men who want nothing more than to bang and/or date them
>after just one day they will have seen everyone in their area
>within one week they would have talked to everyone they are interested in

so anyone who has been using the app for more than a few weeks clearly has some sort of issue. likely, they are the female equivelent of what i discussed in my first post.

they want a 'bf' but because they have a very specific idea of what a bf is, they arent finding it anywhere. instead of seeing if they have real chemistry, they are simply walking down the aisle, trying to figure out what is the ONE thing at the groccery store they can buy, based solely on pictures and labels.

if a woman is on tinder for too long, they are losing their ability to feel chemistry.

you as a man can fall into a very similar pattern here, but with the added harshness of constant rejection.

it is an app made for people who want to date, yet no one seems to have success there for very long. that should tell you something.

>>17194418


>but anon, how do i use it as a supplement to an existing dating life if i dont have a dating life.

effort. lots and lots of effort. and also, doing what you like. going out is in no way restricted to bars and clubs, though if that is what you enjoy, by all means, go to bars and clubs.

the truest way to find chemistry is to experience your life in the most enjoyable way, and see how you match with the people who come into it. interacting with someone in a casual way shows you how you ACTUALLY get along, not how you hope to get along cuz you really want this to work cuz you need a gf.

so write down a list of all your hobbies, and find a way to externalize them. most people live at least near a city these days.

go to any and all hobby shops and ask about local events. gun shops might have hunting trips. or you can just go to a shooting range. comic book stores have game nights. or live commentary movie nights. if these shops do not host events, offer to host one through them, after all it will only lead to more money through them.

you can even go to a more casual store, lets say, a book store, and stand in your favorite aisle (lets say, horror). talk to everyone who comes by looking for a book. ask what book they are looking for. tell them what book you are looking at. try to spark a conversation abotu your favorite author. maybe take some suggestions. if you really hit it off, try to trade numbers.

its okay if it doesnt pan out. this isnt a scoring system. there is no man in a cloack in space making down on a cosmic chalkboard how many failed conversations you had. 99% of interaction is dumb. you are waiting for the 1% and enjoying talking about your favorite things with strangers until then.

>>17194419


>but anon, going outside somewhere to find out if maybe they have an event doesnt suit my lazy lifestyle!!1!

and for those who simply cannot bring themselves to get up out of the house without a guarantee go to meetup.com and look for something of your interest. no matter what your interest it is on there in a group you can meet with. and if not, you can start your own meet up.

Now, some of you may argue that these sorts of tailored events are attended mostly by men. yes. mostly. but some women too. whats important here is you will be doing something you love, with people who love what you love, and when the right ladies come along you'll know they love it too. you will have that common ground.

>>17194410
>>17194410
>>17194413
>>17194418
>>17194419
Good points. Thank you for the advice.

>>17194441

anytime

>>17194435
I actually did try meetup, which is actually in turn how I met the girl I was dating. I really do hate the whole process so it's easy for me to disregard actually putting myself out there again, not to mention the interest in the things I like is very limited thanks to my depression

>>17194461

consider not dating hten. if you cant take care of yourself or be a fun person for someone, why ask them to make any form of commitment for you?

that being siad if you can just put yourself out there you will likely have fun. im trying all sorts of new shit. sword fighting lessons and dodgeball and a 1920s themed party. its all pretty gud

>>17194466
I do more shit than I can handle. Scuba diving, first aid, soccer, skateboarding/snowboarding, game development, visual and digital art, music composition and drumming to name a few. I always wanted to try fencing though. I would definitely be willing to try out tennis again but only with a friend. Planning it and then going out and doing it is really the hurdle for me, though I seem to pass that part a lot more than other people.

I never really considered myself a fun person though I guess you got me there. I can be fun sometimes though, hence why I was in the right place and the right time, that's one of the reasons at least.

Not dating is not anything I'm interested in. I talk with my close friends who live far away on Skype nearly every day and I'd much rather talk with them than be doing anything with any other friend I would have here.

>>17194509

if you do those things regularly (about once a week for hte active stuff, and once or tiwce a week for non active stuff) then you are a fun person imo.

but if these are things you like in theory but rarely ever do because of depression then work on that.

a girl wont cure depression and it only makes it harder to meet, get the relationship going and actually make it work.

>not dating is not anyhting im interested in

what? as in, you refuse to not date? either way, thats an unhealthy mindset. same with the friends.

go make new friends.

>>17194521
>go make new friends.
I've been going to this university for 4 years now and I've been trying to make friends the whole time. I really don't care about anybody I meet enough to want to form an actual friendship with them. I tried going out and making friends for the past 8 months, before this semester and when I was working, and I just didn't like anybody enough.

The only person I found and ended up liking enough was the girl I dated, who pursued me. We really hit it off and I didn't really care if we dated or were friends. I was just gonna be her friend but she wanted something closer so it was. And god damn was the whole thing good timing.

>>17194538

>i dont care for anyone i meet

thats probably on you then dont you think?

>>17194552
Of course it is, it sucks. I spend time with these people but I wouldn't/don't enjoy considerable amounts of time spent with them.