GF has just randomly said she doesn't want to have sex anymore.

No, but the only solution is to leave her. Fuck that bullshit.

>>17186791
Last time I heard that it wasn't too long after that she wanted a 'break'. It's either she's seeing if you guys match on a non physical level or she's is not feeling emotionally connected for some reason.

I'm sorry to hear it, OP. My money's on the possibility that she wants you to break up with her.

>>17186791
So part of me thinks she's going through some problems and I should try and be understanding of whatever situation she's going through for her to come up with this. That I should try and understand what the root issue is and sit down and address it together.

The other part thinks this is a major issue and we should probably just split if it's any indicator of how things will be in the future it's gonna be a slippery slope .I mean who refuses to have sex with a SO ffs?

She's said she'll still give me bjs whenever and that I can wait till she's asleep to do things but otherwise no sex. I think that's the weirdest and most retarded thing I've heard in a while and doesn't seem conducive to a healthy, loving relationship let alone sex life.

>>17186824
>bj's and sleep assault

Pretty good fucking bargain anon, I would deal with that.

Is she on birth control? That could destroy libido, sometimes even permanently. if she's on hormonal birth control get her to drop it ASAfuckingP.

But my advice is don't dump her. At least you're getting bj's and can mess with her in her sleep. I wish my gf let me do that.

My gf's sex drive died down after a long time on BC. The best thing you can possibly do is pretend you don't care. Like the no contact rule except with sex.

Most of the time girls just get bored in sexual relationships. Do fun shit with her, flirt with her, but don't put pressure on her to have sex.

When it comes to the time where you would usually make a sexual move, and she asks what you want to do, just say "chill and cuddle, watch some Seinfeld" or something.

After a while she'll wonder where your sex drive went and she will naturally want you to fuck her again.

good luck m8. just remember don't put pressure on her. Pressure = Pushing her away. Let her come to you.

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>>17186797
>>17186805
Yeah I thought it seems a bit suspect. Interesting. I think she knows we match on a non physical level because we talked before meeting for 2 years. She may well not be feeling emotionally connected though, she says sex is making her feel degraded and she doesn't like her body. I can understand she has some insecurity with her body but that but that theory shouldn't be enough to prevent her wanting sex with me since 1) she's a camgirl/model 2) has not had any issue being shy with promiscuity in the past. The whole feeling degraded theory doesn't seem to hold water either since she gets off on degradation to some extent.

So perhaps she simply wants to split like >>17186813 says or it's a test to see whether i'll split with her.


Here's an excerpt from the convo

>>17186848
>I am no longer interested

That's the only phrase that stood out to me. I'm not trying to steer you wrong, it's just what stood out to ME.

>>17186848
Make a counter-offer. Tell her that all of that is fine as you want to meet her needs. Then state that you also reserve the right to have sex with women outside your relationship in order to have your own needs fulfilled. Fair is fair.

>you can fuck me in my sleep

yeah that's not gonna go down well... how would you like it if you were sleeping soundly and all the sudden someone's on top of you?

>>17186847
>>17186847
Thanks for the detailed reply

The situation right now is she's in another country, and she's going to be flying to me in less than a week. she's not on BC currently. She went off it cause it made her even crazier) but she just said now that she's still going to get back on BC before she comes. (even though apparently she doesn't want to have sex)

I know I could end up having sex with her, I don't feel like it'll be something that sticks. But that doesn't solve the bigger problem of why she feels that way

>>17186857
Yeah, same here. But it's at odd's to how she usually acts

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>>17186824

>She's said she'll still give me bjs whenever and that I can wait till she's asleep to do things but otherwise no sex. I think that's the weirdest and most retarded thing I've heard in a while and doesn't seem conducive to a healthy, loving relationship let alone sex life.

This is the 100% correct reaction. Either stay with a weird girl that wants you to sleep fuck her or move on and find a girl who isn't certifiably insane.

I would of left the second she told me that shit. I would of combat rolled out of a moving vehicle. Run for the hills, anon. Run and never look back.

You can take this >>17186847 guy's advice and make it your personal job to be this psycho's boyfriend/therapist but I wouldn't recommend it.

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>>17186848
she wrote this after

>>17186912
Your women is crazy. Or she is fucking with you hard. Find a new one is what I'd do

>>17186797
Is sex really that important in a relationship?

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>>17186936
>>17186899

she is crazy and quite clingy I know that, but the sudden no sex thing just seems at odds to how she usually acts

here's her usually

>>17186960
Cray

>>17186960
Where the fuck did you find this check?

>>17186960
Why would you want to be with someone like this? Drop her and find someone better. She clearly isn't fulfilling your needs and you're clinging to her

Crazy does not get better.

Be happy you got what you got, and get gone before she dismembers you in your sleep.

>>17186791
>Not sure how I should feel.
You should be exhausted from running away as fast as fucking humanly possible.

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>>17186960
Holy shit I had a good laugh. This bitch is crazy as fuck anon.

>>17186960
Have you pissed on her pussy?

Does she have some kind of psychosis? This shit ain't normal

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>>17186791
As a couple, you need to sit her ass down and TALK. She can't just say "fuck everything, no sex forever" without explaining to her boyfriend as to why she suddenly feels that way.

My best friend had a similar experience with his wife when they were still dating. Some of her friends got pregnant, so she freaked out and wanted to slow down on the sex. I think he went a few months without anything.

But digressing, you need to communicate with your gf and find out what's up.

>>17187280
Sounds like schizophrenia m8

Why'd you delete that post op.

>>17187289
There's more going on here than just that. This chick sounds straight-up nutso. Like she thinks people are out to get her and evil forces are trying to rip her apart. Totally bonkers!

>>17187300
>>17187295
because I felt like it creates a false representation of how crazy she really is. Like she can be cuckoo sometimes and the pic certainlly makes her out to be super crazy. but it's more of a dramatic attention seeking thing than anything else. She has not been diagnosed with anything ever, and she's been taken in before for checkups.

it's funny to joke around with her being bonkers, but i know well enough that she isn't truly. She's normal. Just a bit of an overly attached gf. I've known actual crazy people and people who act crazy. I know the difference.One of them just wants attention and love and can't truly function in society they're always wearing a mask the other just craves love and attention and is clingy/jealous etc

So before the thread devolves into everyone saying how nuts she is I want to focus the attention back on the original problem. Because there's obviously a reason for her saying it in the first place

>>17187289
Thanks, I appreciate the advice. At the heart of it she said it's because she felt not only that we had sex too quickly on in the relationship. (we hooked up a few hours after meeting) but that she feels insecure with her body, even though quite typically she has nothing to feel insecure about. I can appreciate someone feeling insecurity but I think not having sex with your SO, the one person you should feel secure enough to be explore your bodies with with makes no sense. I think perhaps even if theres truth to that the actual reason behind her saying this is something else. Maybe it's just a test to see whether I'm still interested as someone mentioned above, or maybe she wants to wait a while simply to regain some "purity".

>>17187316
>There's obviously a reason
Yeah: She's fucking nuts.

That said, "I'm no longer interested" is your cue to jump ship.

I didn't even read the other comments, I read the first texts and I skimmed the last, so take it for what its worth, I think your girl is fucking crazy

Pull out bruh before you ruin your life. Let some other dumbass take the fall.

>>17186955
I hope this is a contrived attempt to make me answer.
Yes. Relationships with women are only about sex.
Hell, most relationships are about sex.

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>>17187378
>Yes. Relationships with women are only about sex.

>>17186791
Bail, the only reason she wouldn't want sex suddenly is because she is getting it somewhere else. If it was just something about your sexual pairing you would think she would communicate and seek to address it correct?

She isn't doing that, she is probably trying to push you away intentionally so she can go fuck Chad Thundercock when you do and not feel like a shitty person who throws away relationships on a whim.

Ex did the exact same thing.

>>17186791
Explain to her the beauty of sex and why you love it WITH her.
>>17186848
Tell her you couldnt accept that because it makes sex and sexual activities into a chore for her and its not the same as truly connecting with her on an emotional level.

>>17187386
What else do they offer? If you want romance date a man

>>17187467
Straight men aren't interested in romance with other men. Faggot.

>>17187468
Only queers get intimidated by a juicy cock

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>>17186960
>I want you to piss on my pussy

I like her.

>>17187451
Uh what? Do you know anything about vaginas? Sex isn't that pleasant for a lot of girls. It hurts for the first few minutes and for a lot of girls it hurts for a few years in general. A lot of guys don't know how to make girls organs and statistically most don't get to organs from penetration by the actually guy until much older. Not just that but fluctuation of hormones changes a lot. When on birth control I never wanted to have sex. When I'm tied I don't want to have sex. I don't get horny easily and don't know girls who do either. The first time after a period sex hurts typically because the vagina is tighter feeling. I tend to get to wet from sex where it's no longer enjoyable. I could go on. And on.

>>17187531
I always expect the worst in people. So yeah, she's definitely cheating.

>>17187531
All things that could be true, but the way to deal with them isn't "We're not having sex anymore." Pain/not feeling pleasure are all things that should be talked about. If it was talked about sooner, it might not have blown up into "no sex."
Pain certain times, needing more foreplay, etc. all stuff that can be fixed.

As a female I can safely say, this chick makes sense to me.

Sometimes (a lot of the time) there is no base for our logic - sometimes it's just a bunch of shit all added up that comes out as verbal emotional vomit.

You obviously care about her because you've made this post. But don't nessicarily show her you care too much. Just try to play it cool around her when she comes back. She's obviously little confused, and she maybe needs a little bit of space, but on the bright side, she's giving you the green light to do some really freak-ass shit. This could be really awesome for both of you to explore new sexual channels between you two.

So in conclusion. Don't be all over her, but be all over her. Give her some space and time, but don't at the same time. And last but not least, have some fun fucking her in her sleep and pissing on her! But be gentle about it at the same time.

>>17187714
lmao.

I can confirm this is true. At one point I had myself completely convinced that I wanted my boyfriend of 10 years to go out and fuck other people. I had the logic all lined up, or so I thought. I was very upset when he refused because he knew I was just having a crazy woman moment.

Basically, she might just be freaking out unnecessarily about something and to her, this is a logical course of action. Talk to her. Ask her what's going on in her head.

>GF has just randomly said she doesn't want to have sex anymore.

She spoke wrong; "doesn't want to have sex with YOU anymore.

>>17187200
a bit

>>17187226
no she doesn't. She's just clingy and wants attention.

>>17187340
Was inviting exactly that answer I suppose..

>>17187460
I did try explaining that. She just keeps repeating lines like "i know you prefer skinnier girls" "why don't you go and fuck other girls" "i don't like my body" and keeps bringing up other people and comparing herself to them trying to coax me into admitting I'd prefer them.

It's got to the point where it's exasperating. But it only happens in short waves. I try explaining how nonsensical it is for her to suddenly stop having sex when we've done it plenty of times already. Plus she sleeps naked and walks around nude most of the time anyway. And she;s not fat or even chubby which makes the whole thing even more ludicrous. I feel it's obvious I'm into her mentally and physically. It's like explaining why you like pizza to someone who can't possibly believe it. It's frustrating because you feel it's so obvious it defies explanation. I will try expanding more on the latter of your arguments because that make sense but doubt logic is going to win the day here

>>17187451
I never rule out the possibility of cheating but I'm not really considering theory for a bunch of reasons..

>>17187571
Foreplay situation is good and we're open about what we want in the kink department. I'm sure things can definitely get better as we learn our bodies more and what we like, but things are already relaxed. I'm pretty sure it's not because it's painful or that awful she just can't deal with it that she's suggesting to stop.

>>17187714
Finally an answer that doesn't make sense but makes sense.. is at least more than "she's cheating on you bruh" or "bitch is cray". I do like her a lot. know there's an underlying point here. It might even be something tangentially related, something she's feeling. I'm not sure she even knows.. she's on her period atm.. She was surprised by my lack of reaction, thinking it was going to create an argument.

>>17186824
>
So part of me thinks she's going through some problems and I should try and be understanding of whatever situation she's going through for her to come up with this. That I should try and understand what the root issue is and sit down and address it together.

Do that. It's probably your best change to know what's going on. Be willing to be open to criticism, though don't let her blame or insult you. It's a real possibility that she might not be attracted to you anymore though, and that might be a good way to bring this up. Something like 'am I the problem? I don't understand why you don't want to have sex anymore, and I want to understand because it's worrying me'.

>>17187721
She did this too a lot. Same as you said you reacted she would get mad at me refusing.
Saying she was SURE that was what I wanted

I knew it wasn't what she (or I) actually wanted and would likely result in the relationship ending. it was just her boiling over, worrying about getting hurt from me deciding to cheat, worrying about tying me down/not being good enough and wanting some element of control. Partially nothing more than just wanting some outlet for everything.

one time we got trashed in a bar and we'd sat on a table and started talking to a few chicks, she kept saying shit like "imagine me and her on our knees worshipping your cock like good girls" and putting a bunch of dirty images in my mind while they were sat next to us and we're all talking, drinking shots together.

Then later we were out smoking she randomly asked me whether I fantasied about that scenario she'd described, and when I said obviously yeah, she flipped shit and said that's disgusting, perverted and she'll never give that to me. That I should find someone else, I was thinking wtf?

then later she asked her friend again to join and do it with her after (who said no) and repeated the process of getting mad calling it "disgusting".

>>17187875
Yep. For me, I was just feeling so bad about not being able to pleasure my boyfriend sexually due to medical and emotional reasons. At the time it looked like those reasons would persist forever, so I was a wreck about how shitty of a girlfriend I was and how I just wanted him to be happy. So I got it in my head that he should just find satisfaction elsewhere so long as he never told me about it, even though it would kill me inside every day.

I ended up recovering, so it was fortunate that he knew better than to do so, but i was so fucking wrapped up in my emotions that I was certain it was what I wanted.

It's not as simple as 'she's crazy'. Well, she is, but in her mind I'm sure there is a very good and overly-thought out reason for what she's doing. What that reason is, I can't say. Good luck, lol.

>>17187858
>>17187858
She's just brought a ticket out of her savings to come and see me, and spent almost all her earnings in doing so.
I'm sure she's into me based on the way she acts, not just what she says. She's communicated heavily she wants to live together/start a family together, and introduced me to her immediate family. I could go into a lot of detail but suffice to say I think we're very compatible.

I'm open to criticism. And also open to the idea that what can start as something special can spiral downwards into a living hell. That a spark will often invariably dull it's light, or even be extinguished never to be regained.

but I don't think this is the situation right now that all attraction is gone.

I did ask her, "so basically you're saying you don't want to have sex with me anymore". She said "no, no..I want to have sex with you but I don't want you to have sex with me".

I'm pretty sure she's just massively insecure (for honestly, no reason. perhaps body dysmorphia), and thinks in her kooky mind that I'm better of not seeing her naked at all if she can control it because she wants to change, and wants to me to think of her/see her in the best light. Also I think it's just partially drama that won't stick but just because that's the case I don't want to ignore it.

I think ideally if she had the option she would not see me at all, until she feels like she can look in the mirror and smile. but she can't cope with being apart, and I'm not sure she'll ever be truly happy with herself (hell I know I'm not).

I just want her to understand I'm already into her physically, she might not believe it but it's true. and to realise how illogical hiding is because bodies don't change overnight and right now we're a couple who should be able to share things more closely than any other 2 unrelated people we'd find out there, we're not perfect but we're a team.

i'd have told her right then she better be joking or i'm out for real right then and there

>>17187885
Glad to see he didn't just take your words at face value.. that can be a dangerous thing with women

>It's not as simple as 'she's crazy'. Well, she is, but in her mind I'm sure there is a very good and overly-thought out reason for what she's doing. What that reason is, I can't say

Right. my thoughts. Just got to start grabbing straws because there's a connection somewhere .

>>17187913
Maybe try flirting with her and teasing her. No touching, no sex unless she initiates it. Let her know she looks sexy to you, while making her want you. If you've been in a relationship for a long time it's easy for seduction to be forgotten, maybe she needs to be reminded of that spark that drew you two together in the first place.

>>17187936
Adding to this, also do things non-sex related that you enjoy. It sounds like your relationship is built on more than sex and looks, so remind her that you love her for more than her body by reconnecting with her mind and personality.

basically, stop stressing and date her again. You may have to go celibate for a time, but if she's worth it to you then you'll just have to deal with it. But try to have fun with her.

>>17186791
Id dump her
I love a girl and i need mental attraction but i love sex and i want a girl who can take her shirt off too

Dunno OP if you really care about her talk to her
Bj but no sex
Sounds weird to me

>>17187913
>I did ask her, "so basically you're saying you don't want to have sex with me anymore". She said "no, no..I want to have sex with you but I don't want you to have sex with me".
Um... err... but she'll let you do stuff to her in her sleep?

Couples counseling. Now. You need a translator. She keeps using these words. and I do not think they mean what she thinks they mean.

>>17186791
Have you tried asking her why

>People being this dense in 2016

>>17186955
Yes.
A relationship without sex is called friendship.
OP can keep her as a friend, but she's not his girlfriend anymore.

>>17188347
>>17186791

Sexual compatibility is important. Its why people fucking cheat in the first place. Lack of sex.

>>17187913
Hopefully this thread survives for OP to come back to.

It sounds to me like this girl is going through a very confusing period of her life. She really wants to please you and doesn't want to lose you - hence the kink and bj offers.

I noted the cam-girl reference and I think this has a lot to do with things. The body insecurity, the focus on kink and a decision to abstain from intercourse might be linked to her development of a poor self image, one where she's devalued herself due to her being objectified.

This might lead to her not wanting you to fuck her... not because she doesn't want 'you' but because she needs 'you' to be special and prove to her (and she prove to herself) she's worth more than being a fuck toy.

If you care for this girl then look after her. She's probably not crazy like it sounds, but just a bit uncertain of who she is. Accept her offer of bjs but don't exploit it, let her make them a gift. Don't do stuff to her when she's asleep but by all means seduce her through praise and compliments.

If you treat her right, build her confidence and be a man (not a child) I think she'll be come round and change her mind rather quickly. Distance does funny things to women, they can really think themselves to Crazy Town and it can take a while to gently get them back 'home'.

Voice of experience here.

>>17187531
Jesus I'm horny and ready to go all the time pretty much, and have been since I was 19 (26 now). I fucking love sex, but I guess I must be a minority in the world of women...

>>17186848
How the hell do you fuck someone in their sleep? I think if you're able to do this you're doing sex wrong anon.

>>17186791
Go ahead and leave my man. Either she has lost interest or she has found some jus else. Either way it's best to just leave now.

Maybe she just has a sore cum filled pussy from fucking all those other guys.

Seriously though, leave her for so many reasons. You're setting yourself the fuck up.

>>17186791
DTMFA

>>17186791
Is she feeling stressed out by something?

>>17186791

She has found someone else

>>17188927
Honestly? This is probably it.

She is not emotionally connected to OP and is invested in someone else. Women don't really put BJs and handies on the same level as sex emotionally.If you ask anyone women they will say something like "Oh I've only had sex with 3 people!" but will have sucked 20 dicks.

OP's girl also sounds especially crazy.

I had a bitch ex that is adamant she didn't cheat on me technically because "all" she did was jerk a guy off. Told her to fuck off, put all of her shit out the door and kicked her out. She moved in with the other guy who eventually ended up hitting her a month later and now she lives with her mother in their van. Fuckin karma.

>>17186791
youre being cuck'd
there is a 0% chance that this is not true
sorry about your luck, op

>>17187721
you're talking as if women are totally irrational beings, that sometimes go into fits of total crazy

>>17187846
god, she sounds fucking immature. seriously she sounds like a gf you have in fucking middle school

>>17188380
But you weren't very horny before you turned 19? That's odd, care to explain?

Well fuck me OP, so funny when i saw your post and realised that what happened to you is exactly what is HAPPENING TO ME OMG so fucking weird...

I have been with my gf almost 3 years and basically since she went on BC 3 months ago she just isnt interested in it anymore. Like srsly 4 months of BC we probably had sex twice? This is fucking ridiculous and i am fed up, its always about HER i dont know if its BC that is fucking her up or something else...

Exactly the same OP i just got out of bed and left her there its 1:30am and i am just sitting here cause i have a million things going thru my head and cant sleep.

She said "ill give u a BJ in the morning" ffs why the fuck would you even say that its so stupid, where is the moment to be SPONTANEOUS - She flat out wont have sex anymore and its fucking pissing me off - I am around all the time now (before i used to work away and come back nd forth) and i got more fucking intimacy in 3 days than i have for the last 4 months.

My question is what do i do?

Do i talk to her? Tell her if she wants sexual fidelity thats fine but I have sexual needs that need to be met

Or do i just tell her to get off BC, i told her to go on it cause i was sick of using condoms and now with my own place and stuff i thought we would be fucking like rabbits but it was the opposite 70000%

fuck me ai fuck this