So I'm at my usual coffee shop, and the barista I don't

When I worked at a deli I had a lot of guys hit on me while I made their food/coffee...it was...okay?
I didn't have anyone try to rape me when I went out to my car, so everything was fine.

On one hand, I rejected A LOT of dudes and then basking in mutual akwardness next time they came in.
On the other hand, I fell head over heels for a dude who just straight handed me his number. However: I had initiated conversation with him before over mutual interests, so it wasn't a short in the dark like most guys took.

>>17181644
This is good advice, thank you.

I just really like this coffee shop and would prefer not to have a reason to be awkward here.

Not really sure how I should initiate conversation that isn't about coffee, either.

Pretty sure I've already lost this war because I haven't done anything about it and I've seen her a few times now.

I've been hit on by a girl that work at Starbucks

>>17181702
And it's entirely possible she was just being nice as part of her job of being a barista.

>>17181635

you can. you just dont make a really big deal out of it. ultimately if she shows no interest in you its considered rude to go for it.

if you are 'unsure' because you think this might be a signal but she might just be nice, then go for it.

but if you clearly dont exist to her outside of someone to hand a beverage to, then maybe dont go for it.

but peopel get hit on at work all the time. you will not be branded as a creep who hits on baristas for your whole life. you wont even get branded as that for ten minutes.

the moment will end and literally no one will care.

>>17181725
I enjoy this outlook. I guess if I don't try I'll never know. She hasn't even looked at me since I got here so she might not even be nice. Had to order through the other girl working the register.

Would it be more reasonable to approach her when she's off work? One of my friends knows all the people who work there. Perhaps this is my in.

>>17181715
Been in the service biz, I can tell the dif

>>17181748
OP here, I work in service as well, at a bar that's a couple blocks away.

I know that the waitresses I work with get hit on all the time, but it never seems like it goes anywhere. And I know for a fact that they often just reciprocate to get better tips.

Kind of why I think I need to meet her on alternative terms, like through someone, or when she's off work.

Frustrating problem.

I know I'm funny and charming but I'm so bad at cold approaching people I'd rather just not do it at all.

>>17181746

yes? depends how you do it. waiting for her to get off then making a rush for her IS CREEPY.

have you ahd any sort of conversation with this girl?

>>17181762
Well I would be a little more tactful than that - at least I hope.

and nah, I'm just fantasizing and putting her on some kind of idiotic pedestal.

Basically she's cute and I have no idea how to approach her.

>>17181766

yeah thats a bummer. unless you friend is willing to do something extensive like set up a larger casual hangout where she and other people are invited and you can make your move there, then it is a bit creepy.

unless you can go up to the counter and find a reason to strike up casual conversation. i imagine you drink here often?

i have a similar thing going on with a cheese maiden at ralphs. didnt end up calling me though

>>17181774
I don't believe my friend actually knows this barista, nor do I believe she would set up a casual hangout.

I do drink there fairly often, perhaps once a week. I actually haven't seen her in a while so I just assumed she didn't work there anymore. But she's there today, I just left.

I really don't know how to go from casual conversation to hanging out, it seems like an impossible hurdle.

I suppose this is a problem that plagues me with making new friends in general.

Whatever, she's attractive so she's probably got a boyfriend anyway. Not even worthwhile to try. I'll stick to my more attainable goals.

>>17181801

>it just seems like an impossible hurdle

i do this at least once a week. there is literally no harm in trying. go in once a wek and hope shes there. strike up some small talk.

imagine if you will theres a large amount of people. if they are high energy make a joke about how they dont even need their coffee. if they're tired make a joke about coffee dependency. go from there.

>>17181635
There's nothing creepy about a guy liking a girl

>>17181817
Yeah my low self-worth kind of bars me from doing a lot of things that normal people would usually try.

I know I'm just making up excuses and need to just give it a shot, I just don't really know how.

>>17181825
It is if you're a creepy guy. I don't think I am, but some people might think otherwise.

The big thing you have to keep in mind when hitting on someone who is at work is that in most jobs, their work requires that they be polite and friendly, even if they are exceedingly uncomfortable and want to leave.

Be aware of that, and behave appropriately. My suggestion would be to put the ball in her court. Say "Hey, I think you're cute, I'd love to get to know you better and talk about [x]. Here's my number, have a good day."

This kind of thing would show your interest while also not forcing them into any sort of uncomfortable situation she can't get out of. Contrary to what a lot of people on here think and say, women appreciate it if you respect them. They, like everyone, hate being in the middle of a really uncomfortable or awkward situation. A little consideration goes a long way.

>>17181837

>my low self worth

only way to get more self worth is to do the things normal people would try.

stop saying 'bars' or 'stops'.

>i dont really know how

considering oyu dont even know this girl shes the perfect person to experiment and test this out on. go up to her, consider the opening jokes i advised and do it.

in the meantime, talk to all the strangers you can. hot, not., dude, chick, young old. just talk to everyone. makes it easier.

also if ur ugly, consider getting a make over.

im completely ugly but i put a lot of work into my appearance and it makes me at least a 6.

>>17181844
Yeah that's kind of what I'm nervous about.

I know that I should be respectful of the fact that she's at work, and I don't really know what's appropriate.

Maybe I'll sit at the bar next time and try to get some kind of something going. I think I stand a much better chance if she actually recognizes me.

>>17181858

Benji Hughes once sang
>"if you're waiting for an invitation, you're gonna wait a long time"

men are expected to make first contact. you already have low self worth so dont lower it by hoping senpai will notice you. shes literally never talked to you no reason for her to point out that you, like many other men, come here often.

>>17181875

It's not even about expectations - if you want something, why wouldn't you at least try to obtain it?

You can never control someone else's emotions and actions - not fully. You are, however, full in control of yourself. Therefore, it doesn't make sense to sit around and make wistful wishes.

>>17182030

pretty much yeah

Not at all. People who say it is are retarded. In fact, I've gotten most of my numbers and dates off meeting girls at their workplace. My current GF of 2 years I met at a restaurant, she was the hostess and was basically eye fucking me the whole time, so on the way out I gave her my number, been together ever since.