> just turned 21 > boyfriend is 26 > 7 month relationship,

nah i feel what you're saying

bring it up to him but try not to be confrontational
he might not necessarily realize why it's wrong
that'll come through quickly in a convo

>>17180106
Guy here.
He's in the wrong.
Unless you two are married, he has no control over whether you go out. Of course, if you fuck some guy from the club, it is your fault the relationship is over.
If you're married, then you both have control over each other.

>>17180123
He'll say, why can't I go with you? And he'll get somewhat upset about it. He acts like we are married but he's aware that we're not. Our beliefs are completely different & he always tells me "I think different from other people".

>>17180118
I never approach it as confrontational but whenever I bring it up, his voice changes like he's yelling at me or something.

>>17180106
He shouldn't be controlling you, but for sure you're in a suspicious/risky situation.

Who hasn't heard or read about those 'girls night out'.
Like, you could call it trusting issues, sure, but how do you know who you can really trust and who not? Most ppl who get cheated on actually trusted their partners blindly.

So yeah, consider that your girl friend is looking out for some boyz fun, and she's going to do single girlz stuff which, adding some alcohol, could drag you along to do something stupid if you suddenly meet a very attractive guy

>>17180106
Why did you make a second thread? Didn't like the answers you were getting in the other thread?

>>17180137
This is my first thread. I'm not aware of what you're talking about.

>>17180130
>Our beliefs are completely different
Well you'll have to decide if this guy is worth is differing beliefs. Personally, I can't be with a person who keeps track of me too much. I've never cheated on anyone, I just don't like the "I'm in prison" feeling.

>>17180136
I am aware of that but I haven't done anything with my friends because he always wants to be there even when I don't drink. The time I do want to be by myself, it's like I can't even do anything and I don't end up going. My girl friend is still patching things up with her bf and she's not looking to have fun with any strange dude whatsoever. She had made that clear with me. She just wants to go have fun and see an artist at a club she hasn't seen.

>>17180155
I can't handle that either. We spend weekends with each other, from Friday to Sunday and I want to stay home during the week but he stresses that it's boring and I think seeing each other on the weekends is great because it builds up that anticipation to see them and you have more to talk about.

>>17180160
Well, just talk with him, tell him that he needs to trust you, that u understand his concerns but that you're not going to do anything cause u're not that type of person and cuz u love him and that he can't control you and you need your own space.

>>17180176
He's told me he trusts me fully but he tells me "I want to be there just in case you're okay." Like I'm already okay with my friends? When he says things like that, it makes me think that's his excuse.

>>17180197
Then confront him about it one last time. Tbh, he does sound controlling and, thus, borderline sexist.

>>17180237
I believe that too. He's always like "I know how guys are, I know how girls are... blah blah blah." He's that type where he doesn't trust people. He's a pessimist.

>>17180106
Let me translate for you OP

>I don't want you to cheat on me or get yourself hurt so instead of doing something dangerous without my protection I am asking you not to go troll for dick with your newly single friend.


There is literally no reason to go to a club unless you are specifically looking for male attention.

If you wanna get drunk with a friend stay home where it's safe and comfy and get sloshed while watching GOT or playing a boardgame.

>>17180237
>and, thus, borderline sexist.
kill yourself

File: article-0-0E8BED1200000578-928_634x337.jpg (61KB, 634x337px) Image search: [Google]

61KB, 634x337px

>>17180245
He is probably worried.
Women cant handle the same ammount of alkohol and theres the risk of people taking advantage over you. I'm not sure if you ment public club setting or a small party with friends at home.

>>17180260
>If you wanna get drunk with a friend stay home where it's safe and comfy and get sloshed while watching GOT or playing a boardgame.
losers and geeks do this, dude. not everyone watches tits and dragons or wants to play fury of dracula with you.

>>17180260
I agree with this.

>>17180274
lmao salty club slut detected

>>17180260
OP just turned 21, it's normal to have a clubs and bars phase, at least if she's in the US. Then she'll get over it in a few months when she realizes it's not all it's cracked up to be, just like everyone else.

>>17180245
I, the one who u're responding too, am a pessimistic (although I categorize it as a realist), and don't trust people in general, which comes from experience (and i'm almost always right at analyzing ppl).
But I wouldn't control my girl cause she's a free being with her own will.

Anyway, his trusting issues must come from somewhere... So be respectful. Anyway, he can't be allowed to control you if you dont want to, so impose yourself.

Every time you give in when he complains, he gets more empowering and makes him think that he can do as he pleases.

>>17180277
basement-dwelling warhammer neckbeard detected

see how that works?

also the GOT show sucks, pick up a book, you pleb.

File: descarga.jpg (8KB, 300x168px) Image search: [Google]

8KB, 300x168px

Hey /adv/ sometimes, my friends and people say do not look for the girl s, one will come, I do not seek and does not come, but other times say looking like and give her, but neither meeting depresses me so much that any advice

>>17180245
>He's a pessimist.
No. He's an insecure sexist who believes he isn't satisfying you in bed and believes the second you leave his peripheral vision a majestic Chad, nude to show off his oiled musculature, with a diamond hard 14 inch cock appears for you to jump upon and ride to the wild land of Orgasmic Adultery.

Have a sit down face to face conversation about why he's wrong and why you disagree with him. If he doesn't accept it, break up with him and find someone more mature.

Or hop on one of the many naked Chads standing at the very edge of your boyfriend's peripheral vision. They must congregate near him for a reason.

>>17180265
Kill yourself. Not having a date to the 7th grade social doesn't mean women aren't human beings.

>>17180260
B E T A
E
T
A

>>17180278
Yeah I'm not all huge into the club scene but I'll go a couple of times if it's worth seeing an artist.

>>17180273
Public club. It takes a lot for me to get drunk but the purpose of going to a club with my friend is basically to have a good time with her. We're not scoping out any dudes.

Yeah, I get where he is coming from not wanting you to club without him. That's reasonable to me, little protective but nothing unjustified. I do get a bad vibe from him always needing to be around you when your with your friends, but he can be with his buds alone. That's super not a good sign. I'd be cautious as hell and make sure your able to, guilt free, hang out with your friends alone in "safe/not club" setting. Otherwise that's cutting you off from others who care, and that's a very big red flag to abusive behavior.

Just keep an eye on him.

>>17180274
>losers and geeks do this, dude. not everyone watches tits and dragons or wants to play fury of dracula with you.
Right. You just stand around with your drink, bob your knees to the music, and look for fresh meat (which you shouldn't even be doing if you're taken). Unlike you, the other anon actually sounds like fun.

>>17180154
See
>>17180027

>>17180282
nice projection but i don't watch game of thrones

>>17180285
ouch. i'm sorry you were rejected as a child. im sure one day you'll get over it

>>17180285
>No. He's an insecure sexist who believes he isn't satisfying you in bed and believes the second you leave his peripheral vision a majestic Chad, nude to show off his oiled musculature, with a diamond hard 14 inch cock appears for you to jump upon and ride to the wild land of Orgasmic Adultery.
I think you've been on /adv/ a little too long, anon. He shouldn't be controlling, but he is right to be worried. This is behavior that is odd for OP, since she's apparently not into clubbing, so the boyfriend is rightfully suspicious. And being that he's 26, I'm sure he's dealt with some painful things in the past. If OP cares about him and wants this to work, she'll have to open up and care for his emotional baggage.

I don't know. Even if it was for a friend, I wouldn't leave my guy at home to go clubbing, but that's just me. I see no reason to not hang out at a friend's house or to not bring the boyfriend along.

>>17180295
Oh I didn't know! I thought the thread wasn't created cause the system kept telling me I have to wait to post. My internet is acting funny lately. I didn't get the memo. But thanks for making me aware.

>>17180305
>Even if it was for a friend, I wouldn't leave my guy at home to go clubbing, but that's just me.

Probably because you're not looking for casual sex with someone not your partner

>>17180285
For sheer curiosity (I'm not that guy)

Do you think that being jealous is unjustified if the other person hasn't cheated or done anything to you of that sort?

Even when you've been with girls or heard/read about cheating stories on here and from real life acquantainces who have never given any reason to suspect but still done it?

How could you not be scared of not losing everything you care for after knowing how easily it could happen?

>>17180285
Oh goody, the sexless tumblr feminists have arrived.

Watch out OP, these are the exact type of people who would try and steal your bf from you because you're thin and pretty.

>>17180299
>ouch. i'm sorry you were rejected as a child. im sure one day you'll get over it

Troll harder.

>>17180305
Nope. I've had girlfriends in the past and never had a problem with them hanging out with their friends alone. Partners who trust one another don't worry about that kind of infidelity. Not letting her out of my sight won't stop her from cheating. If I learned of my girlfriend sleeping with another person, I'd break up with her.

>>17180315
There's a difference between suspecting someone is cheating and paranoia. If my girlfriend goes out to the club with her friends, no big deal. If a strange guy I don't know drops her off at my place with none of her friends to be seen and she has smeared lipstick then I'm suspicious.

If I'm scared of losing her by letting her out of my sight, I'm not losing much.

>>17180322
>assuming I'm a femanon

I wish.

>>17180334
>oh no i got called out on my oddly specific projection better call him a trole

>>17180338
so you're a cuck instead of a cunt. that's so much more sad and pathetic

>>17180279
I've been respectful about it since the whole relationship began but I'm starting to really see what's up. From what he's told me in his past, there is nothing related to the problem I have now. I don't know where he's getting it from. He calls it "it's principle".

>>17180106
OP please don't.

Last time I went alone to a club with a female friend I got too drunk and my 'friend' took me to some hotel where I got raped by someone.
What's so bad about bringing your bf along? What's wrong with being safe?

>>17180340
>someone makes an original and witty comment mocking a view I hold
>better employ some internet psychology and send a volley of personal insults their way

>so you're a cuck instead of a cunt. that's so much more sad and pathetic
>a man has self-respect and doesn't share my insecure view of the world
>better imply everything I'm afraid of happens to him

File: Lipton_Kermit-630x422.png (305KB, 630x422px) Image search: [Google]

305KB, 630x422px

>>17180353
You're sad dude. Calm your menstrual flow for a minute and read what you're posting.

The fact you think you're witty tells me more about you than you could ever know.

>>17180132
He sounds insecure and controlling. You need to settle this issue or it will only get worse.

>>17180130
Why can't he go with you?

>>17180359
op wants to cheat and is trying to get validation from adv

>>17180334
>Partners who trust one another don't worry about that kind of infidelity.
But that's the thing. You can't really trust anyone wholeheartedly, especially after only 7 months. You can try to push the thought out of your mind and hope for the best, which does get easier with time. That's it though.

Even if my guy doesn't say anything, he's going to worry. It hurts me to think that I could worry my guy in such a way, because he was cheated on in his first real long-term relationship, and the whole situation was a shit-show. I think when you genuinely care about someone, you want to avoid causing them unnecessary suffering. Or, at least, that's my case.

>>17180357
>he recognizes his own strengths
>time to post a picture of a green frog

/r9k/ is a few more stops on the train. You're almost there.

>>17180363
no i'm a STRONG and INDEPENDENT WOMAN

he doesn't control me, the hamster spinning in my head does!

smash the patriarchy!!!!!

File: oogaboogaindeed.jpg (24KB, 425x406px)

24KB, 425x406px

>>17180366
If that's one of your strengths I'd hate to see your weaknesses.

>>17180359
We already have other plans with his friends and of his own money issues. We've known my girl friend longer than our relationship. She needs friends and he told her he can't go cause of those plans & she asked him if I can go alone with her and my other two friends who are tagging along too and he got weird about it.

>>17180347
>it's principle
That's a BS answer.

Men see clubs as a place to go to pick up drunken sluts for casual sex. They see women who frequent clubs as low quality partners and mostly just as sexual objects. He probably wouldn't like to associate with the happenings of a club.


To me, there is a massive difference between me drinking with my bros versus letting my gf go to a location filled with guys who are only there for the chance to fuck girls like my gf who "just want to dance" or some other stupid bullshit.

>>17180377
>i have plans
>friend wants me to break plans
>do so immediately

kek if i was your bf i'd tell you to go. flaky girls are trash

>>17180363
I hear you, but if I don't trust them not to cheat I wouldn't date them. With the amount of social media out there, it's not that hard to spot cheaters. Having mutual friends also helps.

>>17180367
>he doesn't control me, the hamster spinning in my head does!
He doesn't. He's completely supportive of my choices, even if they may be bad long-term. But I know how much he worries various things, even though he doesn't express them verbally.

>no i'm a STRONG and INDEPENDENT WOMAN
>smash the patriarchy!!!!!
I get the joke/insult/whatever you're going for, but that doesn't apply to me. I don't believe in the patriarchy.

>>17180106
>i'm not gonna cheat i'm just gonna go to our societies chosen location for getting drunk and fucking strangers

>>17180394
I know. I'm just summarizing the responses you would likely get on /adv/ so no one else has to.

Another example of his "controlling" ways, I'm having a family vacation in June, a week after me and him go to Vegas for a huge rave and I told him there isn't a place for him because my family already set this months ago. He suddenly tries to go when I already told him he can't. Then he says, "Oh so what, I can't see you for 4 days?" Like he can't seem to be busy or something and tbat's when I had a feeling he's controlling. That's a red flag right?

File: 1462164682852.jpg (107KB, 768x1024px)

107KB, 768x1024px

>>17180352
U sure did, son.

>>17180404
you sure he wasn't joking?

>>17180404
>Then he says, "Oh so what, I can't see you for 4 days?" Like he can't seem to be busy or something and tbat's when I had a feeling he's controlling. That's a red flag right?
No. That just means he's clingy and likes being around you.

>>17180409
He wasn't joking.

>>17180413
>That just means he's clingy and likes being around you.
Sickening. Nothing worse than men who want to be near you.

>>17180413
I could buy that if he wasn't such an ass about it. Is it so bad to go see my family without him hovering around constantly?

>>17180377
This adds a new point of view to the situation. He already got asked to go there and refused to.

Anyway, just go, your friend needs you.

>>17180404
you've already made up your mind, you're looking for us to validate your choices when we've already gone against what you've said. if you don't like his behavior then leave him

>>17180413
>>17180418
I'm honestly not a huge fan of someone smothering me like that. I've experienced that in the past and I don't think it's healthy. Things fall flat with someone if you're clingy. In my head I'm thinking, I'm being with you for the whole weekend and couple of days after that, maybe I want to be with my family by myself. It's my family, not anyone else and I felt it was sort of disrespectful for him to butt in even though things are set already.

>>17180431
You guys aren't compatible. Good thing you're going to the club. Dump him and get some dick

>>17180423
Your bf's an asshole and yes, all of these are clear red flags, so stay firm and fight for your space or dump him.

>>17180437
I love /adv/ because of these comments.

>>17180447
sarcastic quips confirming stereotypes?

the pinnacle of humor

>>17180447
What's so good about it? I'm completely serious. OP wants space and her BF is clingy. That shit doesn't work out. They haven't even been together for a year and the whole thing sounds like an excellent set up for ending the relationship.

>>17180418
>Sickening. Nothing worse than men who want to be near you.
I could see how it would bother someone that prefers being independent, like OP. I'm clingy though, so I don't care. If anything, that's probably why I've been with the same person for 15 years. We're both super clingy oddballs and that's made for a really enriching relationship/friendship.

>>17180431
>I've experienced that in the past and I don't think it's healthy.
>Things fall flat with someone if you're clingy.
Only if you're not equally clingy. Sounds like you're just mismatched and trying to make him out to be some sort of bad guy for not being your ideal.

>It's my family, not anyone else and I felt it was sort of disrespectful for him to butt in even though things are set already.
Here's the thing, OP. If he cares about you and wants you to be in his life for a long time, he's going to want to cozy up to your family. Especially if he wants to marry you at some point.

>>17180463
Marriage is stupid and something I will never do. I don't even want kids.

>>17180467
>Marriage is stupid and something I will never do. I don't even want kids.
Okay, call it a long-term partnership. If you don't plan on making him a priority in your life, find someone you won't have to see very often.

>>17180463
I know he cares and everything but there should be a boundary. I'm not ready for kids yet and he knows that as well. I've been taking this relationship slow but since he's older than me, he's taking it a different approach.
> mismatched and trying to make him out to be some sort of bad guy
I could think that is that, but I'm not making him out to be the bad guy if he's acting like how he is with me.

>>17180453
Yes. Sarcastic and non pollitically correct stuff.

>>17180486
Fuck you I'm the real OP

>>17180486
>I know he cares and everything but there should be a boundary. I'm not ready for kids yet and he knows that as well. I've been taking this relationship slow but since he's older than me, he's taking it a different approach.
Again, you're mismatched. He's clingy, you're not. He's probably heading down the path of settling down, you're not ready. Sit down and talk to him about what you both want and expect from this relationship. If you find that these things don't sync up, it may be best to separate.

>>17180106
>Blowing off plans with BF to go troll for dick with some newly-single slagg
I can't imagine why he'd object.

You're in a relationship, OP. You don't go clubbing without your man. Just as I imagine you wouldn't want him to go without you.

"Girls night out" is for single women.

Your friend needs to pick a different wingwoman.

>>17180508
Lol, just stop.

i might know who you are
break up with him and come back to me
you know you miss me bby

>>17180550
Do you now?