I try not to ever say it but I have depression, but I hate thinking

>>17170166
why are you depressed though, is it because you're unhappy with your life or is it a case that you should be happy but are not? i was depressed and became a neat for about a years, once i started actually doing shit with my life, i started to get happy.

>>17170166
The first thing you should understand is that your view of reality is actually distorted due to a chemical imbalance. Continue seeing a therapist and changing medications every ~3 months until one works.

>>17170170
For years I've been in this state

Hate my job, can't get a girlfriend, have no drive, every time I'm interested in something I make excuses or I just lose hope

I really do think Im in a slump I cant get out of, this really could be the end of the line.

I don't know what else to do

>Inb4 HUR git fit brah smdh tbqh :^)
>Inb4 HUR go outside more

I do, I did, it didn't help.

>>17170178
I've been taking meds for 6 years dude

Its just not happening

>>17170166
>I'm already on meds, I used to see therapists, and now I'm having often suicidal thoughts and I've basically given up.
It's most likely gotten worse because you haven't been seeing a therapist or getting help working through your problems, only medicating them. I'm definitely not someone who's opposed to medication, especially for someone who's treating depression, but you need a professional to help you articulate your feelings in a way that's healthy and productive.

>Do I just do it? Or do I actually try to get help. I feel like at this point no therapist and shit can help me. I think im beyond saving
I don't think many people are beyond saving, to be honest you sound like you're deeply depressed and have just stopped caring which can be dangerous. Find a way to get a therapist, psychologist or even some kind of counseler to speak to.
Even if you don't continue going it could be a great starting point for a fresh outlook on life. Take care of yourself man, don't let your life become stagnant and dull. It just makes things worse. See some new things, make some new friends and try to experience life before you deem it over.
One of my favorite actors/comedians once said; "Keep yourself busy if you want to avoid depression, for me inactivity is the enemy."-Matt Lucas

>>17170182
Different meds or just the same one that doesn't work?

>>17170183
I just have this feeling in my head that makes me wanna die

Like my fucking skull just has this fucking pain that I feel only death can solve

>>17170184
Different

>>17170166
I dunno if it will work for you, but my depression became much more manageable when i discovered cbt and started researching stoicism and Buddhism. (I was on meds when i started, been off needs for about a year now). Keep in mind, i was "clinically depressed"for about a decade. Been on more meds than i could count.

You may want to look into that. It's a way of restructuring how you think about things, and how you view the world. It Operates on the philosophy that "thoughts create emotions". Like if you constantly think negatively, you're going to get depressed.

Hopefully that works for you, but if not, keep in mind that something will. It's just a matter of finding what works for you. Suicide isn't the answer. You can beat this. If i can,i know you can.

>>17170179
i see why you are depressed. i would be too in your situation. lifting weights wont help at all. its stupid when people on here say shit like "get fit if you want a gf", women care more about your personality, and if the reason is for confidence or discipline, there is other stuff you can do which is more beneficial in that regard. sounds like your problem is that you dont have any goals or ambition in life, you dont have a reason to get up in the morning. have you considered going back to university and trying to get a career in something you enjoy? medication probably wont help in your situation.

>>17170194
Oh, i wanted to add something. Never go off your meds without doctor supervision. I was very fortunate in that my doctor always viewed meds as a "temp fix".

She put me on meds as a temporary relief, as i was very close to suicide when i met her. But the endgame was always to get me off of meds and let me manage myself long term through thought restructuring.

Don't just decide to go off of your meds by yourself. It can kill you. And it isn't a good way to go.

Best of luck to you brother.

We're all going to make it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B-0ETX4z_DU watch this op. no excuses.

>>17170198
I want to do my own sales thing but I don't have time because of my garbage job

But I need some cash to fund a trip I'm going on in July, so there's that

I dont know if I can do this job for much longer without blowing my brains out though fampai

Make a change OP.

I have heavy depression. Went 3 years without a relationship, struggled through college, spend most of my time in my room, always got in arguments with people.

One year I decided I wanted to switch colleges and went to a bigger university. I told my 'friends' who always treated me like shit to fuck off and got new ones. I enrolled in extra clubs and classes. At first my depression held me back and told me not to do it and just stay in my room, but I stuck at it. And you know what? I enjoyed it. I met new people, I made new friends, I made girlfriends. I was out several times a week on dates or at parties. Now I've got a job lined up in another country and I'm going with my best friend.

I know it sounds difficult and I'm not trying to rub it in or make it sound like I'm better than you, because I'm not. I'm like you and some days I don't have the energy to get up or I think the world is bleak and hopeless. But I'm conscious that it's just my brain fucking with me and I force myself out there anyway because I know I'll feel happy when I take the chance.

You'll never be cured, you'll always need that time to yourself and all those doubts and anxieties eating at you. But you can learn to live with it, control it and for the most part feel like a normal person. Just think of something you really want in life and take the first step towards it, whether it's downloading an app or filling an application form. Don't let your mind stop you from doing it, use your willpower.

>>17170934
I've lost all hope for anything

I really think this job is toxic and killing me, but I don't know what to do, if I leave I wanna pursue my own shit but ill have no money

>>17170949

To start your own thing you need money. You don't necessarily need to do your current job for that money. Go look for a new one you like better and see if any friends are down to try a business with you.

Do other shit in the meantime. You're complaining you don't have a girlfriend. What's stopping you downloading Tinder or going to bars? Nothing other than a chemical imbalance in your mind - fight against it and you'll easily find someone you're attracted to.

>>17170960
My parents support my own thing and it won't cost me much, it's hard to explain.

Also I tried tinder, didn't get a single match in two days, and I'm only 18

>>17170179
So in other words
>ablublu my iPhone battery died

>>17170969

Then just find a better job until your own thing becomes more viable. I don't know what it is so I can't give indepth advice, but if your job is toxic to your life then finding a new one is imperative. Don't devote over 40 hours of your week to something that makes you wish you were dead.

Take a better photo and work on your bio. I'm probably a 5-6/10 at best and I'm seeing a cute Asian girl I met on Tinder. Swipe right like a motherfucker except on girls you think are gross.

The thing about me is that i'm 15 and i've seeked no help since thevday i got depression and that was 6 years ago...i know i was only 9 but i was bullied HARD in elementary school for example: My whole class would just rise up and the toughest guy would come near me .. punch me and everyone would start singing the jingle bells song but all the lyrics have been replaced with "mut" and that would go on and on until graduation...now i'm in high school and it's nothing better...i'm socially stupid and i don't know how to talk to people...i'm not funny i'm not amusing or interesting...i'm basically nothing....in this class i get punched and thrown to the ground on breaks between classes and noone helps me...i haven't found the time to consult my parents cuz they say things like you need to snap out of it and realise that it's not that bad....i've been wanting to kill myself for about a year now and i have no friends....on the outside i'm quite attractive but on the inside i'm afraid that a monster is awakening...i'm afraid that when the time comes i won't be able to stop myself from hurting someone...please help while there's still time...

>>17171212
sounds like you have had a hard time. i was never proerly bullied in highschool but i was definitely picked on. i got into weight training and martial arts at around 18, it improved my confidence incredibly and no one has picked on me since. i suggest looking into doing a practical martial arts, and weight training, it will definitely help.

>>17171250
I don't have enough money to train anything and weight training is dangerous to do in my age because my muscles and bones haven't developed enough....and i can't do training at all cuz i have no motivation.....

>>17171270
>weight training is dangerous to do in my age because my muscles and bones haven't developed enough.
nah, you will be fine, that is just an old theory that has no scientific evidence behind it. if you're really bothered though, you can do body weight exercises like push ups, pull ups, dips, sit ups, squats etc. your motivation should be to be able to defend yourself, people are always going to take advantage of you if you are weak.

>>17171282
Well i've been doing push ups and pullups for about 2 years now and i can do 50 at a time with no sweat but i'm skinny and the training hasn't helped me at all since the guys in my class are about 3 times bigger than me in muscles but i'm the tallest in my class oh yeah and btw i'm in an all boys school and the most important thing is how buff you are...i'm really losing hope at this point and i don't know what else to do than just wait my life out...i just want my life to have never existed....it's all pain...everything i see is pain....

>>17170983
I think I use my job as an outlet for my failures and lack of motivation

I do hate it but it's not that bad, its just depressing and my emotions don't help at all

>>17171317
if you're tall, then everything else can be achieved. how tall are you? also, it doesn't matter what the school or the people in it think about you because that's a very temporary part of life and it literally will never matter once you've left.

>>17171515
Tbqh familia, I'm in the ghetto and i work at a cheap jew owned arcade. Our clientele treats us like fucking trash, I get paid nothing with no room for raises, and I'm just fed the fuck up

I know people suck everywhere, but modern day minorities are fucking abysmal, and seeing as this placed is jew owned, they won't do shit like change prices to weed out filth

>>17171628
And you can say "DAS RACIST" but I don't care, you work this job for 2 months you'll fucking hate any race that isn't white or oriental

>>17171535
I'm 193cm tall.
I will atleast hope that it ends that way...but right now,everyday life is getting worse and worse..i've tried defending myself multiple times but it just ends up with more people jumping in to put me down...Also i 1 girlfriend and that was 1 year ago and we were dating for 28 days...since our breakup i've been feeling more miserable because she kept posting things like "when the wrong people leace your life the wrong things stop happening"...it hurts me just thinking about it...