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I want sex, but every time there's a chance to get some

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I want sex, but every time there's a chance to get some I get scared that I'll change my mind at the last second and the guy will flip his shit, and the thought puts me off so much that I don't want it anymore. And yet I keep wanting sex.

How do I make it stop?
>>
just go have sex

then you'll be over your stupid worries
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>>17166037
I can vividly remember just how bad it feels to be pushed in dry. I still get a little phantom pain about the sensation and it's been years since I've been fucked last.
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>>17166044
Don't fuck dry.>>17166044
>>
Don't have sex with someone you don't know/trust enough to go slow?
Get to know them first. Tell them you're a bit anxious and want to go slowly. If you can't tell someone that, maybe they aren't someone you should have sex with.
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>>17166046
You can't get wet if you don't want it.

There's unfortunately no female equalent for a fear boner. As a matter of fact it seems to only dry up more.
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>>17166044
Don't be with children that don't know that wet is best.
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>>17166050
But I don't want feelings. Getting an angry stranger out of my house is still easier than getting an angry boyfriend out of my life.
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>>17166056
Doesn't have to be a relationship. Just someone you trust enough to say "Hey sex makes me a bit anxious, I want to go slow."
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>>17166059
How is that not a relationship?

A person of the opposite sex sticking around permanently with the intention to fuck you. That sounds like a relationship to me.
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>>17166056
Sex with strangers is kind of bad for this very reason, though.
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>>17166033
>the guy will flip his shit

stop dating asshole chads with no empathy find a guy who is sweet and who is going to be patient. With that attitude they have I would not be surprise if they just rape you in the heat of the moment. find someone who is understanding and who is willing to work with you on that issue.
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>>17166070
Well, there's two kinds of men out there. Men who want you and men who don't want you. And if a man gets what he wants he'll hold a goddamn death grip on it.

Fighting it is a very exhausting ordeal so I'd really rather pick a guy who intends to lose interest within the next 15 minutes.
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>>17166073
I DID find a guy who truly loved and cared for me and wanted to share the rest of his life with me.

In the end I threatened to kill myself if he ever contacted me again and made him promise that he wouldn't. He did it anyway.

Altogether men who want pussy are much easier to handle than men who want love.
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>>17166076
To be honest, I don't think you should be having sex until you work on your obvious self esteem, intimacy, and possibly anxiety issues.

The key to enjoying sex is all in your head, and if you're not in the right place mentally, you're gonna have a bad time.
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>>17166088
Then how do I make it stop??
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>>17166090
Aside from the obvious answer (therapy), you must accept that you are worthy of love; first from yourself, and then others. Focus on relaxation, buy yourself a nice toy to enjoy and some good lube, watch some amateur porn. The point of this is to know what makes you feel good and to get comfortable with the idea of sex since you seem so anxious about it.

I also think that you should be a bit more open to the idea of a relationship once you've done this, because one night stands are usually pretty bad and can actually make you look even more negatively on sex.

In short, surround yourself with positive experiences that make you feel good and don't overthink things. You sound a bit highly strung so just relax.
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>>17166105
I already have a toy. I change my mind about using it roughly 10 seconds after I get the batteries in, every time.
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>>17166033
Buy a fuck machine
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>>17166082
well I am just warning you because those fuckboys are probably going to rape you with that attitude they have. at lease don't accept any payed dinners by them if you are not going to sleep with them because they will fell that they should get something out of it.
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>>17166140
I have one, I just nope out of it every time I try to use it.

That's why I'm worried about doing that to a man.
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>>17166144
Calm down. It's not like anyone's buying anyone dinner.

I meet guys at bars sometimes and some of them want to fuck me.
>>
>>17166117
>>17166146
yeah you have some issues you need to resolve with yourself before you should be thinking about having sex, especially one night stands with randoms like you're talking about. Jumping into sex will never fix this problem you have
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>>17166146
Tie yourself up and get fucked until you enjoy it.

Get drunk first, so you have the ability to go through it


Once you hit that pleasure, you'll be fine
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>>17166277
I've tried (save for the tying up part) and it just doesn't happen. It never stops being unpleasant.
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>>17166051
Use lube.

>>17166067
Friends with benefits is a thing, just make it clear that you don't want a relationship but might still fuck them. Most guys won't say no to that.
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>>17166863
Where do I find someone like that who's still ok with waiting months on end?
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>>17166891
Make a friend. After you feel comfortable around him, tell him about your issues and ask him if he would be willing to help you. Stress that he needs to be patient. Make sure that he's not in a relationship first, obviously.
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>>17166896
I already have a male friend, but I'm not really his type and he's not my type. Literally just being friends is weird enough at the moment. I spent forever trying to understand what he wanted out of me since he doesn't want to fuck me, before I realised a guy might actually seriously just want to be friends.
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>>17166033
>OP wants to fuck random dicks without developing trust and understanding.
>Even her body says no.. don't be a slut.. but she is too stupid to realise this.
>Fucks losers who can't get her wet anyway.
>Develops negative association with sex and pain.
>Wants to keep the cycle going by continuing to fuck strangers. Does not appear to understand the concept of artificial lube.

Fuck off OP. You deserve painful sex if you just want to fuck strangers and not actually resolve the issue in a natural way.

If it were me, I'd just spit on you..
>>
>>17166962
>angry boy on 4chan does not get pussy
>angry boy on 4chan realises that someone else might get pussy
>angry boy on 4chan decides that if he can't get pussy, nobody can
>angry boy on 4chan gets angrier when pussy is attached to a brain separate from his own

I'm not going to fuck you, and I am not going to fuck someone similar to you as a consolation prize. I've tried "giving nice guys a chance". My bad experiences with men did not start with him but they sure contributed.
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>>17166915
Well, then I really don't know. Try dating sites I guess. And don't forget the lube.
>>
>>17167090
I really hadn't considered lube, though.

Is there any way to make sure it's compatible with a condom?
>>
I'm convinced that people come to this board with fake situations and deny any sort of answer to their situation just to make people mad
>>
>>17167167
I really didn't. I got my answer; lube.
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>>17167036
Aww.. My comment was based on facts that you stated.. And your comment was 100% assumption. You had your back to the dartboard though.
It's cute that you think I'd fuck someone who doesnt understand logic, but don't flatter yourself. I mean.. you're literally fucking guys who don't turn you on. How pathetic are you?
>>
>>17167173
Tone down on the "slut" and "logic", your fedora is showing.

who are YOU fucking though?
>>
Don't feed the troll Op

Just talk to the guys here who wanna help you
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>>17167184
The problem with friends with benefits is that I have literally nothing in common with men and no idea where to meet them.

I can be attracted to a guy, even trust one, easily, but knowing he intends to fuck me just wipes all of it out completely.

I'm seeing a shrink next week about something unrelated, but looking at the name, it's going to ne a man.
>>
>>17167179
Look.. There's a certain level of intelligence that should be obtained before people start to have sex.
Rather than ask me who I'm having sex with, don't you think it's more important to make sure OP has been putting a condom on the guys cock and not a banana like she was shown in sex ed class?
I mean.. You're talking to an almost middle aged guy who has had kids. If anything I'm trying to make sure our future has less stupid people having sex.

Think of humanity...
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>>17167184
>Just talk to the guys here who wanna 'fuck' you
Fixed..
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>>17167194
I'm still OP, and looking at my friends' dads, it's pretty fucking obvious you don't need to be a genius to breed.

Women can and will settle for the dude who won't kill and eat his own young. You haven't impressed anyone or done the world a favour by polluting the gene pool. As a matter of fact you've probably made it worse.
>>
everytime these /adv/ threads show up I'm so happy my fiance isn't Western and isn't afraid of traditional values.

i'm sure some cunt would be happy so tell her how miserable and oppressed she is though
>>
>>17167209
Wait.. That was you?

>tells me to tone down the slut and logic talk

>then attempts to value my worth based on who I'm fucking.

^^^ Our worth as humans isn't based on how many people or whom we fuck.

I realise I've made you upset with some harsh truths, but seriously.. Learn to love yourself and raise your own value before trying to judge others based on assumptions. You can win with the former but you'll lose with the latter.
>>
>>17167224
I'm from Eastern Europe. For the record english isn't my first language.

>>17167229
What's your game with first calling me a slut and then getting all sweet and preachy with telling me to love myself? You know gaslighting doesn't work in text, right? I can scroll up to see exactly what you said, in that exact tone of voice, and if you think you can undermine me by making me second-guess your own behaviour, you're wrong.
>>
>>17167126
Water-based lube is compatible with all condoms. If that dries too quickly for your purposes, silicone-based lube is also compatible with all condoms. The only lube I know of that may damage condoms is oil-based lube.
>>
>>17167330
I remembered that baby oil ruins condoms, but water- and silicone is fine?
>>
>>17166117
how does this even happen? how can you go from being horny to not being horny in 10 seconds?
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>>17167241
holy shit you're fucked in the head lol, why are you so angsty
>>
>>17167333
Yes. And it's actually just latex condoms that are damaged by oil, polyurethane condoms can be used with oil-based lube. They're more expensive and less stretchable though.
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>>17166033
You don't know men. It's easy to tell them to fuck off if they make you feel scared. (Unless they're some sort of Latino drama queen with emotions pouring out the asshole) Realize THEY are scared of you because courts.

Man who gets prissy when he doesn't get sex is a child that throws a tantrum at the candy store. It always starts with, "So you're saying there's a chance. " You know how they are, it's like a child that begs you into the store after you say no, and then forcefully drags you into the store and is doing his best to make you buy him candy and will kick cry and misbehave until you buy them candy. Granted, sex is very important in a relationship but try to dissociate the man part with the prissy part. If a person acts like shit, then that's their problem and you shouldn't waste time dealing with it.
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>>17167338
Have you never browsed gif for porn and then ran into scat mid-fap or something?
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>>17167382
yeah, and it does not really completely put me off, i will probably just look at another porn film. anyway this doesent even sound like the case for her, which is why i am asking, sounds like she gets in the mood and suddenly out of it.
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>>17167338
Not ten. 0,5 seconds. It's like flipping a light switch. Suddenly everything just stops being nice and safe and I have to get out of that situation as fast as I can even if I have to fight him.

>>17167368
Being aroused is an altered state of mind. You can't be sure about a guy, just like you wouldn't trust a dude you could otherwisely trust with your life to drive a car when he's drunk.
>>
>>17167670
>>>17167338
>Not ten. 0,5 seconds. It's like flipping a light switch. Suddenly everything just stops being nice and safe and I have to get out

You sound schizo, see a psychiatrist. Also, find a man who loves you and can provide emotional stability. Emotional stability can help mental illnesses, scratching your poon only makes it worse.
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>>17167713
You've got it the wrong way around.

Being loved doesn't help mental illness. Mental illness prevents you from being loved.
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>>17167670
>being turned on is an altered state of mind
>I can snap out of it in the drop of a spoon
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>>17167241
>What's your game with first calling me a slut
I didn't call you a slut, I said your body was telling you not to be a slut. Which is exactly what's going on. If I'm hard thinking about sex and I get soft when I'm with a woman.. Obviously I know I shouldn't be having sex with her. It's pure common sense, considering I'll stay rock hard with the right woman.
>and then getting all sweet and preachy with telling me to love myself?
I'm not being sweet and preachy, I'm trying to get a fucking solution through your thick head. Obviously you are responding negatively to harsh truths, so a softer truth is just another option, and it was similar to something another person here said.
>You know gaslighting doesn't work in text, right?
I'm not trying to gaslight, but what makes you think it can't work over text?
>I can scroll up to see exactly what you said, in that exact tone of voice,
Fuck Off.. You've already misread my words in regards to usage of the word slut, and tone can be totally implied on the readers end with text. If anything.. You're open to gaslighting yourself. I don't even have to try.
>and if you think you can undermine me by making me second-guess your own behaviour, you're wrong.
It's not me who is trying to undermine you. I have nothing to gain from that. You need to read your body and work out why it's behaving this way. You're the one getting scared and forcing yourself into situations.

I'm the only one here putting in a decent amount of effort to tell you the truth. The rest of the ppl here are avoiding the real issue.
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>>17167670
you need help. this shouldent happen. you have something wrong with you.
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>>17168049
I've spent my entire life doing things I don't want to. I don't want to get up, I don't want to go to school, I don't want to play with the bullies, I don't want to eat, I don't want to go to bed, I don't want to think about the future, I don't want to choose a career, I don't want to be alive.

And suddenly I'm just Supposed To Know what things that I don't want to do I'm not supposed to do despite of being told.

I don't want to fuck. I want to jump off a bridge. If I'm just going to stop doing everything I'm supposed to do, what's stopping me?
>>
>>17168071
Are you OP? I'm not sure what you're saying here, you want to fuck but you also don't want to? So you don't actually know if you want to? You sound like you have depression though, have you considered therapy?
>>
>>17168087
Yes. I want to fuck but I don't want to fuck the people available. I want to work but not do the work that I can get. I want to live but not like this.

I am getting a time to a psychiatrist next week. I don't know what to tell him.
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>>17168102
If you really don't know what to say, just tell him you are depressed and don't know how to deal with life. What's wrong with the available people? What kind of people would you want to fuck if they were available? Being unhappy and seeing no way out is bound to make you depressed. You need to find some goal to work towards.
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>>17168124
I don't know. Someone that I can absolutely 100% trust won't fuck me against my will if I don't want it. It's nothing personal to anyone, I can't even have sexual fantasies inside my own head without the fear he'll change his mind and just rape me.

I have goals, I guess.
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>>17168071
You sound like you need a hug and some comforting.
Look, feeling the way you do is normal. Not saying it's healthy, but if it makes you feel better you should know you're not alone.

Everyone wants to stay in bed.
Everyone wants a job they love.
Everyone wants the perfect partner.
Everyone feels unsure about stuff at some stage.
A lot of people go through depression.
A lot of people want to kill themselves.

Go to a depression group therapy meetup. Heaps better than seeing a psych one on one. You'll find people who understand you.
>>
>>17168133
Is there actually no one like that around you? I mean, 100% trust has to be earned, of course, but do you really feel that them just suddenly deciding to rape you is a distinct possibility? What are your goals, btw?
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>>17168146
I was specifically assigned a therapist by a doctor.

>>17168147
I am vaguely aware that the fear is irrational, but I take comfort in knowing I don't currently see, meet or associate with any men who'd want to fuck me. It's the ones who express interest that I'm scared of.

I want my own home, a stable job that I don't hate and to get a book published. Maybe find a partner, I don't know.
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>>17168163
I still think you just need to spend enough time around a dude to get comfortable around him so you can trust him, then try for sex. Sex always requires trust, and if you have a hard time trusting men, that just means you need to give yourself more time.
I kind of want to keep talking to you, so if you'd like drop me a mail at
[email protected]
(If you like you can also make a throwaway email and I'll use that to send you my contact.)
Thread posts: 68
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