Is it better to be outgoing but a little awkward or witty but

You'll get better at it the more you communicate with people. Communication is a skill and like any skill, practicing it improves it. What good is wit if no one can hear it?

Seems like you'd benefit more from being social. Just keep at it and it'll come naturally.
Witty but silent only works if you have a lot of confidence.

Outgoing but awkward gets more sympathy than silent and reclusive.

If you're trying and just trying to be honest with you are (In other words, don't put on some fake ass facade you ripped off from some movie or some shit.. and yes... I've legit remember a kid try to do this back in highschool... he literally got thrown in dumpsters becuase of it... I met him again like 5 years after... he got ripped and got all dude-bro-ey, still the biggest tool i've ever seen), most decent people will see that you're trying and will cut you some slack/sympathy.

And communication is a skill you pick up over time. Just keep forcing yourself to do things you're increasingly uncomfortable with, and eventually you'll gain that comfort and do them as second nature.

It's just like working out your muscles, you need to keep things diversified and always ramping things up, otherwise you're going to stagnate and never actually improve.

>>17137550
I'm in the second category and I cannot possibly express how horrible it is. You will not be able to develop any kind of relationships with other people and you will be completely alone. It's infinitely better to be awkward and energetic.

I'm in the same boat. Has anyone been able to fix this?

I was a really normal kid but then I started being stoic as a teen. Lost all my friends. As a result I have low confidence, stutter, and sound like Brock from Anchorman sometimes when I try to talk. I want to make friends but I come across as a retard right now.

>>17137680

I'm this anon >>17137590

Grew up socially anxious and crippled as fuck. My worst and most dreaded days were the days my family would want to go out to eat because that meant I'd have to talk to a stranger to order.

This is how you fix it:

>And communication is a skill you pick up over time. Just keep forcing yourself to do things you're increasingly uncomfortable with, and eventually you'll gain that comfort and do them as second nature.

>It's just like working out your muscles, you need to keep things diversified and always ramping things up, otherwise you're going to stagnate and never actually improve.

>>17137702
Thanks. I've been doing this for a while, practicing with coworkers and customers helps, and I have seen some improvements. But I have yet to have been able to make a friend. Have you managed to make friends?

>>17137550

To develop connections and relationships with people, you need to show vulnerability.

That is how human beings - and all primates - bond.

If you never express how you feel, let your guard down, or talk casually with people, then you are sending a pretty strong signal that you do not want a relationship. If someone speaks to you about their day to day life, their feelings, their weaknesses, and you don't reciprocate, then it puts them in an awkward position. You become untrustworthy because they have sacrificed something to show they trust you, but you won't trust them enough to do likewise.

So relax and open up a little, OP. You don't need to watch everything you say and make it rehearsed and perfect.

Practice being less guarded.

It is difficult at first but gets better with time.

>>17137733

Yup. But i'm pretty much a completely different person than I was a decade ago when I started trying to change (I'm in my late 20's now).

It was slow going, but bit by bit it did it.

Nowadays i'm probably one of the least shy people you'll ever meet.

Literally made a new friend like two days ago at the bar. Was hanging out with a couple of friends, went to go order a drink, I overheard them say something about some drink, I started a conversation about it, we ended up hanging out for the rest of the night, buying each other rounds, new friend.

That easy.

Just keep going at it, and keep pushing outside of your comfort zone.

There we days when the absolute last thing I wanted to do was go out and be social, but I made myself do it, specifically because I knew how awkward and how much I DIDN'T want to do it.

The scarier and harder something feels, the more work you're actually doing it when you make yourself do it.

>>17137550
witty n silent
ppl get tired of loud obnoxious ppl
do what makesu happy as long as u dont offend anyone
no point to fake ur personaity