How do I accept that men truly are capable of genuine romantic

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You don't have to accept that. I'm here for you as a potential love interest

>>17134192
Are you female? Just realize that men and woman are basically the same and it's only life experience that separates our thoughts and actions.

>>17134192
you don't accept it because this is 2016. anyone that wasn't born before 1990 is a normie.

>>17134199
Even considering dating someone from 4chin would be the worst decision you could make.

>>17134205
>it's dah rules!
u is old.

>>17134209

That's not true, I'm a really decent person, just unlucky in life. I frequent /adv/ because I'm generally a very caring person

>>17134199
What continent do you live in and what level of homogenous xenophobic mordor are you willing to move to?

>>17134203
I know that. And knowing that I'm really just the same as the guys nobody will settle for, either, is an awful sting.

>>17134205
I'm not sure in what context your post would make sense in, but I'm a -94.

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>>17134217

Canada. I don't want to move anywhere else. Well, maybe the states if they pay better for my position.

Why dont you try asking average guys out
Friends can help you too

>>17134223
Then I'm afraid it won't do. I've tried dating long-distance before, and cultural differences become stressful and exhausting after a while, even with a mutual language, and if I'm not attracted to a guy, it becomes too much to bear.

Normal relationships work just fine on routine, but across continents you'd need true love on both sides.

>>17134217
There will always be a guy that will settle for you, desu, if it wasn't like that there wouldn't be so many imperfect people (uglies, disabled.) Our society now encourages us to pass on genetically impure genes, it's no longer "survival of the fittest"

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>>17134235

I can't argue that. Good luck out there

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>>17134203

>>17134216
I can see that, I just assumed you were trolling.

>>17134233
An average guy wouldn't settle for me. There's always something terribly damaged about the ones who do go for me.

>>17134236
I'm infertile, and can't stomach settling for a guy who'd settle for me.

>>17134241
>tips fedora
I'm female, but I guess if the shoe fits? Wouldn't a fedora place the girl on a pedestal?

>>17134246
No kids is a big bonus to some, especially as the years go by and women want kids more

Also .ost people are damaged in one way or the other
And if you stomach guys who would settle for you well i got bad news for you

>>17134246
Settling isn't really a bad thing, in one context it's someone saying "I can't get any better so whatever" and in another it's a loving couple settling down and only dating one another.

>>17134253
I can't handle a guy who yells at me, who's less mature than me or I can't get myself to be attracted to.

This may sound very selfish, but if the most positive feeling I ever feel concerning him is relief when he leaves, I might as well just not date him.

>>17134262
I mean it in the context of "I can't do any better than this so might as well take this one". I've tried it and found it doesn't work.

>>17134192
You are already bitter. You are not unlovable, but the more you tell yourself that, the closer to the truth it gets.

Sorry to rain on your pity party, OP, but pull your head out of your ass and try living. As in, learn how to be delighted that you have a functioning brain, Internet connection, running water, and the ability to see a sunrise everyday.

Find one thing you are grateful for everyday. Learn how to like yourself (it takes work).

Recognize romance as kindness that is extended to you for your unique qualities and interests. That way, you're not expecting flowers or shit when some guy does a sweet gesture for you that isn't necessarily considered "romantic".

>>17134284
Well dont date that guy then

But not all guys will yell at you
Also what's mature and whats not is kinda subjective too

>>17134410
It's not like I'm expecting the moon and stars from the sky from a guy. I don't expect one person to walk into my life and make it perfect.

I really do try to make things nice and be happy about things. It's summer now so I take plenty of time to enjoy the weather.

I understand that I have much to be grateful for. I don't expect flowers, I just want a guy who'll want more than just to ejaculate in me once, and not make my life hell while sharing it.

>>17134421
Repeatedly jokingly tapping my arm while yelling "abuse! Abuse!" in a high-pitched mickey mouse voice immediately after being told I am concerned about being treated badly in a relationship is not very mature, no matter how you look at it.

It may be childish but I can't stand not being taken seriously, and therefore can't tolerare the company of people who take nothing seriously.

>>17134460
Were you both 12 or something?

>>17134460
Thst was retarded

Being serious all the time isn't really a good thing but never being serious is bad

Find a different guy OP its not like that one is the standard for people

>>17134602
He was unstatistically bad, but I do have mild asperger's and there's many branches of humour I just don't get. Making fun of my feelings covers 90% of them.

He is not the standard and he is not the only guy in the world, but he has been among the only three who ever wanted to date me.

How do I get a better man's interest? So far I've found how to obtain cheap sexual attention that's gone as soon as he orgasms, but there is nothing in that for me.

>>17134192
Why don't you just post a picture already. Honestly I like your attitude about love and the fact that you can't have kids is a plus. So that couldn't be the reason your having trouble finding a normal guy. Your either ugly or fat. If your ugly you can get past that by working out. Butterfaces get decent dudes all day. If you just fat then diet. Which isn't as easy as it sounds but it's better than being ugly.

>>17134633
Oh now i get it a bit better

Im on the spectrum too and its harder but not impossible at all

You have some interests right?
Do that with people and you will meet guys
I have an autistic female friend who growls at people and doesn't talk and dislikes physical contact if its not her sister, me or her bf and she found a guy who respects her issues and doesn't make fun of her

Also
>>17134637
You either have super shitty luck and went with the worst guy around or what he said

You dont seem bad or unlovable you seem hurt and in a shitty place

>>17134637
This is the only one I have right now, just after first trying to fix my hair. I hate it literally any way it is but I've found I hate it less when it's short. I'm not 40 and my cheeks don't sag, it's just the particular lighting. Didn't feel like trying to find a more flattering angle.

>So far I've found how to obtain cheap sexual attention that's gone as soon as he orgasms, but there is nothing in that for me.

You sound like my friend in Louisiana. She has your same issue. If she wasn't into horses so much I'd relationship that.
As for your problem. I can gaurentee it's because your not lady like enough. You look like a lady and guys assume they have to treat you like one to get in your pants. Which is why any guy goes out with a woman for anyways. Put on a dress. Wear make up. And act cute. And stop letting guys tap that without committing.

>>17134633

>>17134672
How do I make them stay without putting out?

>>17134675
You mean at all or just instantly putting out?

>>17134686
I can't even get a message on OkCupid unless I drop hints of being easy.

I mean instantly because if I don't put out instantly, he's leaving instantly.

If I don't work like as easy as a soda machine, I'm just as much good to them as a broken one.

>>17134694
Message first then, people on those sites are mostly for casual sex with as good-looking people as they can have

What do you like doing in general?
There must be something you like where you can meet people

Also i have a friend who looks just like you with even shorter hair and she has a husband so looks arent an issue

>>17134675
I fucking knew it. I'm going to be honest OP. You have average looks which is fine. But you have to make yourself seem more lady like. That haircut is hideous. You look like a man. As long as you look like that you will always have subpar men or be a pump and dump.
Grow your hair and keep it long no matter how annoying it is. The longer the better. Learn to wear female clothes. Dresses ect. I told my last girlfriend the shorter she cut her hair the less I'm going to have sex with her. She learned to keep it long and she looked way better because of it.
All that shit you hear about beauty on the inside is terrible advice for women looking for a decent boyfriend. Good men are visual. Only losers only care about your insides. That's a fact of life. The sooner you come to terms with it the better off you'll be.

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>>17134709
I like reading, writing, drawing/painting (this one is unfinished) and loitering. I work an irregular shift job so anything that involves attending the same thing same time every week once per week is a waste of my money since there's always a 30% chance that I'll miss it.

The only one of my co-workers who isn't +10 years older than me and divorced with kids is this dude I knew from middle school. I'm not his type and he's not my type, and knowing how much substances he's messed with and how much stupid stuff he's done sober, I wouldn't like to meet his other friends, either.

I never get a reply back when I send one, but then again I'm awfully picky about profiles, too. He can't come off too damaged or be too ugly to look at.

>>17134716
Let me just clarify a bit. Your haircut makes you look manly. Can't really tell about your face because that terrible haircut.

Im not trying to be mean you just need a dose of reality and not this feel good crap people always feed you.

Good luck on your struggle you can do it.

>>17134735
Wow you really sound like the person i would be friends with


Book club? Art group?
Why not try playing fames with people or something?

And you see you can't be too picky on dating sites if you're not the "hottie type"
Because most people only want sex so the dating sites aren't suited for something longterm without compromising or being lucky

>>17134716
I hate the way I look and feel in feminine clothes/long hair so much that it's made me literally cry in frustration before. I just hate it so much my suicidal urges plummeted when I gave up.

Trying to ask fashion forums what to wear just gets me insulted reactions, apparently you can't just walk to a dog pound and announce that you hate dogs but have to get one anyway. That developing your own fashion style is a lifelong journey and you cannot spoonfeed enlightenment.

Asking men yields worse results.

>>17134735
Consider lowering your standards.

>>17134752
I do three-shift work. If I sign up for anything that's once-per-week-every-week, there's a 30% chance that I'll miss it. Or 60%, considering that I'll need another 8 hours of every day for sleep.

I don't know what playing fames means.

I'm not the hottie type but I'm not after the hottie type either. All I want is a guy whose face isn't downright deformed, who's clean and dressed like an adult. Fat is plus but I could settle for a skinny one.

>>17134760
Which one? I want someone close to my age, sexually identifies as male, not primarily in a relationship with someone else, not violent or otherwise fucked up beyond repair, and not repulsive to kiss.

You can make yourself kiss someone you find repulsive, but you can't hide that you find them repulsive. I learned that the hard way.

So which one should I give up on?

>>17134777
Don't listen to these retard saying lower your standards. Your standards are beyond reasonable and the fact that you didn't mention money is a huge plus for your personality. I'm sorry to hear about your terrible time with feminine clothing. But that is honestly your issue. You need to find a way to fix that. Is it not knowing how to do it properly that makes you suicidal? The actual clothes/makeup itself? Or the people you deal with when you try and get advice?

If anything pay someone for professional help. There are classes. You don't have to goto the actual class. But the instructors will probably react positively if you offer to pay them for some help.

>>17134800
I actually don't like to say this out loud because it's such an unpopular opinion. But in my experience women can't control how much they like someone. Same is the reverse if they have no feeling for them. Guys can lower their standards to get laid. women can't to get a relationship unless they have some traumatic event. Ive had two different women tell me with all their might that they hate me, just to come back and say how much they love me. They wanted to hate me but couldn't. Female emotions are strong.
Also how many women have you heard mention don't be an asshole and then run off and date the asshole. That's a well known phenomenon for a reason. They just can't help but be attracted to them.

>>17134800
I'm not from one of those countries where men are expected to financially provide for women. When I dated an american (learning that the whole long distance/different culture -thing does not work), my mother was SHOCKED that I let him pay for everything. She wasn't thrilled that I'd Found Me A Man who'd take care of me, my family was disgusted I'd financially take advantage of someone like that. It was difficult to explain that he literally did not let me pay for anything.

It's wearing the clothes. I can see cute clothes on another girl and think "wow, that is pretty" and appreciate how well an outfit is put together, but actually physically being in them just feels bad and wrong. Like I'm trying to wear some kind of a disguise or carneval costume.

Actually, I'm honestly more comfortable in a gorilla suit than a dress.

>>17134768
Games
Sry
Touch keyboard on tablet

Well you dont have to sign up dor anything you come if and when you feel like it, at least thats how it works

How do you see video games and geek/nerd stuff in general?

Your standards are fine really
How old are you anyway?

>>17134834

Where do you live where that's such a strange thing?

>>17134837
I'm 22, and my sister's so deep in nerd culture that it'd feel like I'm trying to compete with her if I started now. It seems like an awfully expensive hobby for something that doesn't produce anything tangible.

>>17134840
One of them cute socialist Scandinavian countries. Really not that cute up close but many american things feel downright medieval from here. The idea of a woman depending on a man financially would be absurd for the simple reason that it's just too expensive here for two adult people to live off a single income, unless you plan to live in squalor.

>>17134834
I'm also interested in where you live.
I've told you all I can. I've never heard of your clothes issue so I'm not going to pretend to know the solution. Therapy maybe. But that is why you can't get an average+ guy to date you. Hell, your personality seems amazing and I would date you if you didn't look so manly. I'd move you out to Hawaii because I'm tired of typical American girls. Keep in touch if you want. I have never kept in contact with anyone from 4chan before. Mite be cool.

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>>17134882
I ended up with the first american through the internet too. I'm starting to think american women really just are that bad.

I added some highlights and details to the painting. It has nothing to do with this conversation but I just wanted to show someone.

>>17134873
Well dont think like that
If you have a little interest in the nerd stuff try and let your sister show you the way

Your standards are actually amazing because most people wabt everything while having nothing in return and guys like you said you like aren't hard to find

For example
Im 6'4, on the chubby side, 21, studying logistics and intelligent systems, pretty much have the same idea of what decent humans are like you, don't smoke, dont drink, no drugs too
The only "bad" thing is that most girls here really despise geek stuff and video games
If i had a gf and a few with crushes on me you can find someone too, i mean i see myself as super below average even tho i had a girl people would rate highly above average
Dunno personality means almost everything to me

Also your values seem on point and all in all you're a decent person

Really no idea why the bad luck tho, try going out with your sister or getting in some group
Your art is good so why not start there?

>>17134930
My sister is a complete NEET and mom keeps pestering ME to get HER out of the house.

I do drink and I sometimes smoke (cigarettes, not weed. I dislike the feeling of being high).

How do you get attracted to someone who is also attracted to you? In my experience those are mutually exclusive.

>>17134205
Anyone on /adv/ who was born before the 90s is a fucking loser. I say that as an 85 child.

>>17134947
Well then get her out of the house

My friends drink and smoke but they dont go overboard with it

Well for me i have to be attracted to your personality first and of im physically comfortable and able to relax with you and i find you good looking then im attracted to you but for thst you need to know someone, depwnds on how much and getting there is hard
It often is one way or the other and you dont go for that and you only go for someone you like and they like you back

>>17134975
I try but she deliberately makes herself impossible if you try to take her out of her comfort zone. She'll literally fight you and then makes you apologise for being upset at the way she treats you.

Besides floral skirts, how does one get s guy to stick around for long enough to be interested in personality?

So it just happens? You buy a lottery ticket, win the lottery, and the lottery wins you right back?

>>17134983
Oh shes one of those
Try doing stuff at home with her and maybe see if she would go somewhere she would like with you for your own sake?

For me its being yourself
My ex wasnt a really interesting girl, or smart nor did she ever go out or have friends but she was honest and a nice person who could listen to explain stuff and talk aboit things me which is hard to find as people have very limited interests
But again im interested in getting to know people not only whats under the skirt, avoid those guys in general

Yeah thats the same way i told my friend what happened
She liked me for my stupidly blunt and honest self, i was nice and i we could talk forever and she was this awkward shy thing with the same interests as me so yeah
Luck is involved in it indeed

>>17135012
So if I don't just have a guy randomly magically fall into my lap, it was not meant to be?

It's unfortunate that being unhappy makes you undateable and being alone makes you unhappy.

Maybe I should just give up on this entire mess and jump off a bridge.

>>17134965
How so? This makes no sense to me. All parts of life have issues that people may need advice on. Just because you are over a certain age doesn't mean you stop needing someone elses perspective. Don't be a faggot. Your making us 85ers look bad.

>>17135063
I am and was unhappy and a girl dated me for years

And i had to go out on a random ass meeting to which my sister dragged me to and thats how i met her

Look its hard and it sucks, drop the dating sites or keep it just in case but dont go all out on the putting out just try and meet people

Go to an art meeting or gallery or book thing or a place where people like that go, you know depending on what you read and such

Your country is far better of on that stuff thsn mine and we got shit like that here

A guy wont just fall in your lap but making friends or talking to people you share interests with is a great start

>>17135140
I don't have the energy to do that but I guess it's that or suicide.

>>17135150
God you're just like me

But i wont kill myself because its the cowards way out and im too interested in seeing how far can i go and how much i can handle

>>17134235
Where do you live by the way?

>tfw no qt /adv/ gf

Maybe one day right.

>>17135158
Except that I have already reached my limit. This is exatly how much I can handle and one more drop of a spoon and I am going to show mom once and for all that she sucks at raising kids. It's really too bad I won't be here to hear how she'll explain how it's not her fault that it wasn't her who failed both her kids, this time.

>>17135167
Finland.

>>17135172
I told myself i wss done and i reached my limit so many times i now know that i only get more nerves out of it

You're 22 and you didnt have luck with guys and yeah being alone sucks i know im there

But trust me there is some fucker out there who will like you as a person, a whole person

>>17135181
There's a mountain of all other shit and all I'd fucking ask for is a hand to hold and that is just too fucking much to ask.

How do I accept that these threads always get so many replies?

>>17135195
I cant sleep, i cant relax and i still feel like shit and worse because my ex chested on me and treated me like shit even tho i cared for her sick, depressed and anemic self for years

I know how it feels, i just want someone to hold at night or to wake up next to

Fuck id hold your hand and keep you company because you seem like a good person in general

I really hate how much you remind me of myself
If you ever want to talk about anything or wanna listen to a physicist talk about how the world works or discuss anything post a skype or something
I would actually feel guilty if you gave up right now because i was in the same place for too long and im back there and its worse than ever

I have to go help a friend pass engineering and mechanical engineering now so yeah
Ill be back in a few hours to check this thread

>>17135226
Nah I'm going to kill myself next weekend. I'm fucking done grasping at straws for a reason to live.

I'll write a suicide note saying it's because I was mad about the eurovision results for shits and giggles.

>>17135238
Sucks

The world needs more people like you

If you need reasons to live
Not hurting your family
Friends
Not dying that one's mine
Outlasting the people you hate its also mine
And you never know, my ex wanted to kill herself on the weekend and we met on friday and she hoped so much that she met a friend she cried all night hoping ill stick around long enough

>>17135250
Maybe I'll pick up an one night stand and kill myself at his place. I just fucking hate this existence so much, it'd be fun to ruin someone's day by having them waking up next to a goddamn dead body.

He'd never be okay with letting strangers in his home again, or have casual sex with people he doesn't know. Or sleep in that fucking house or that bed. I just fucking hate sane normal people so much, fuck them and their happiness.

>>17135281
I know
I hate it too


Like i said if you ever need a friend to talk to post something

>>17134192
I have had the same problem as a female OP
This mode of thinking is usually formed by someone hurting you in the past or leaving you as a child. PTSD was what I was diagnosed with. They told me that I would never fully get over my fear of being unlovable or fear of abandonment but I would be able to treat my symptoms. You basically have to prove that you are lovable to yourself, self-care is very theraputic. What are some things that make you feel at peace? practice them daily so you don't feel so paranoid and afraid of peoples intentions all the time. find inner peace first because no one else can make you feel good inside but you.

Hi OP.
I am a guy who tries to get his shit together and tries to understand where I am and I am going since I bloomed again with medication.
I feel that I am too old to catch up on romantic feelings, because I just couldn't see women as such in the past.
Since getting my meds, I have started to feel sexual desire, accompanied with romantic delusions that haven't been hammered out through previously gotten experience, which I should have gotten in the first place.
I do not understand body language.
I do not understand social interactions that are deeper than shallow.
I do not know anything, that I should've known by now to function with people.
I am working on it, I really want it to work, because I lost a quarter of my life to a self encapsulation, caused by a lack of hormones I once considered the norm and caused me to become a depressed, apathetic pariah.

I bet you are younger than me, so don't throw away your dreams and hopes out yet, hold on them dearly, for our desires are what defines us.
I hope you find someone who desires you for more than a night.

I would also suggest you a self improvement book.
I know one that is directed to men, but I believe it is what you may look for.

It is called Models, by mark manson.
You can find it on libgen for free.

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>>17135281
Seconded.
You sound really cool, I'd like to talk to you. I think we could learn from each other.

kik: airplaneotaku

>>17135657
You can't have PTSD unless something traumatic happened. Nothing bad has ever happened to me.

>>17135691
I'm guessing you had hypothyroidism, anon?

Personally, i'm going through something similar, though caused by different problems (poorly-understood schizophrenia-spectrum issues with negative symptoms only, mimicked depression but responded to amphetamine + L-MTHF regimen, ie homocysteine buildup and damage to dopaminergic system caused symptoms similar to the side effects of antipsychotics: genetic test helped greatly). Now I'm slowly regaining my emotional and social functions, but it fucking sucks to wake up at 21 not knowing how to wave "hi" to someone.

I feel like one of those amnesiacs from all those movies, or the hero soldier who lost 50 years in war/prison/cryosleep/exile and now has to return to a world that doesn't look anything like they left it, one where they're lost and confused and just want some clear orders to follow.

The funny thing is that even though it damaged quite a lot of things (declarative memory, verbal processing, general executive function, task-switching) it seems to have spared everything that actually makes us different and makes life interesting (eg artistic ability, abstract thinking, spatial reasoning, color perception, etc). This is great but it really makes me feel bad for all the classic schizophrenics out there, who lose as well, often early in the process. Unfortunately the MTHF only improves the negative symptoms (and of course only in those with the pathogenic T/T mutation), they can't even stop taking the antipsychotics. They really got fucked. Lot of good reasons they're considered even more disabled than paraplegics or the blind.

>>17136090
What that anon is describing doesn't require a single major traumatic event, having the same thing repeated to you over many years will do the same thing. If your parents tell you as an impressionable child over and over again that you're worthless, pathetic, ugly, stupid, unlovable, etc, you eventually come to believe it.

>>17136204
Verbal abuse is still abuse, and no, nothing like that ever happened. Despite of everyone struggling with their own issues, my family has never been anything but supportive towards each other.

>>17135281
You went from having my sympathy to just being an absolutely detestable person.

You want to know what your problem is? Your retarded pedestal that you erected for relationships, you have come to the moronic conclusion that having a significant other is the key to happiness.
That just not how this shit works if you want a successful relationship, nobody wants a co-dependant. You may just be spitballing to get it out of your system, but this ridiculous hate you have for others shows how rotten you could potentially be, check yourself, you probably come off as uncomfortably hateful without realizing it to other men.

>>17134192
are you a troll? i see you posting this pic every day

ur ugly

>>17136437
yeah, I have no idea what the fuck possessed me to write that last night. I just got a sudden mood drop and started bawling my eyes out and apparently almost got banned from a few places.

That was vile and I'm not entirely sure what I was thinking or feeling. I don't express anger irl.