My gf of 4 years has been asking me about marriage for the past

Let her go. You're old enough and you've been together long enough where if you know there isn't a future then it's wrong to keep the status quo

Dude...
This is the SHITTIEST thing to do. You are waisting her best years to find a good husband... She'll be 30 and "used goods" when you finally dump her. No decent guy will want her and she's doomed to settle for some sub-par idiot just to be able to have a baby like she always was UPFRONT about wanting. How selfish can one even be? And besides, why don't you want to marry her? Do you think you can do better now that you are nearing 30?

>>17114104
Yes, You're lying to your GF about your future intentions. You should break it off so that she can find someone that wants the same things as her rather than lying to her to keep her in a relationship that she obviously won't want. Let her find happiness with someone that won't lie about their intentions.

I love her and want to be with her but there is no way i'm making a legal commitment to her. I've seen all the divorce stories and i'm not gonna be one of those guys who gets bent over in court.

>>17114104
>but in reality i have 0 intentions of marrying her

Why? Is it just her you don't want to marry or do you want to avoid it in general?

You need to tell her. This is important stuff.

>>17114136
Ahhh.... depending on where you are living it is entirely possible you are already considered ina defacto relationship and she is entitled to half of assets accrued during the 4 years you've been together.

nope, i checked and my state is not a common law state

>>17114136
The fact you already think she'd divorce you and take everything screams that you aren't ready for any commitment, Break it off, You don't love her. You don't trick someone into staying with you because of your shitty commitment issues. Let her find someone better and you can find someone that is more suited to your preference of relationship. No amount of love can justify lying to your GF like that.

relationships fail, people change and divorces happen. I don't want to put myself in that position

>>17114159
Yeah but don't put HER in that situation. Break up now and do her a favor. You're being very unfair towards her. She deserves to find someone she can marry, You're taking that away from her. Why would you do that to someone you claim to love. You're being selfish.

I don't understand her and women in general. They obsess over marriage and are willing to end relationships over it despite the fact that guys have good reason to avoid it

>>17114212
You lack commitment and trust. Maybe not such a good guy

>17114216 are you a woman?

>>17114212
>I don't understand her and women in general.
Yeah okay then you need to end this relationship. If you can't even understand the woman you've been with for 4 years and why she would want that level of commitment and trust then do her a favor and break it off before you hurt the girl. You don't deserve a loving relationship with someone based on a lie like that.

Lying to the person you supposedly love is always wrong unless you're planning a birthday party. If she wants marriage, and it's a deal breaker for her, then you are wasting her time and being selfish as FUCK.

The fact that basically every single poster so far--on 4chan of all places--is flaming you and telling you're being fucked up about something concerning marriage (which is a /r9k/ triggering topic), should tell you that you indeed, being fucked up to her.

>>17114259
yeah

not saying OP is wrong for not wanting to get married but he should be open about that fact instead of stringing his gf along

>>17114104
>Is there anything wrong with this
Obviously there is something wrong with this. You are lying about something important to someone who appears to love you. Unless she's just settling for you because she doesn't think she can get anyone better, you are going to break her heart and she deserves to get it over with quickly.
>or should i let her go and try to find someone who shares her interests in marriage.
Fucking obviously, you stupid man. If you're not able to be honest with her about the fact that you don't want to get married, this isn't a good relationship to begin with. She deserves better than you, you deserve different than her.

I'm not saying there's anything wrong with being disinterested in marriage. I didn't think I wanted to get married for a long time, until after many years with my now-wife, including a couple of long-distance periods and a brief separation, I realized that she was what I wanted forever. But you are at a point in your life where you should be dealing with people like an adult. That means talking to them and being honest with them, even when it's uncomfortable.

You make it sound as though your deceit is a favor you're doing her, but you're just being selfish and cowardly. If you don't change your mind about marriage, and she doesn't change hers, you need to be rid of one another.
>>17114117
>30 and "used goods" when you finally dump her. No decent guy will want her and she's doomed to settle for some sub-par idiot just to be able to have a baby like she always was UPFRONT about wanting.
This is a bit too extreme regarding her future viability. I'm married and in my 40s and know lots and lots of single or just settling down 30somethings. Most smart grownups without weird religious hangups don't believe in used goods, and plenty of people where I am (big, careerist liberal city) wait a long time before having kids. I'm a case in point; my wife was 35 when our sons were born. But you're totally right that he's being shitty.

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>falling for the marriage meme

if you actually care about her don't do that to her lol

>>17114354
op is in a mid life crisis its making him self conscious about the wrinkles on his balls

>>17114104
Your beliefs barely even matter, OP: you're leading her on, and that's a terrible thing to do. Stop it at obce. Let her go.

But you aren't just cheating her, OP, you're also cheating yourself. You're incompatible, and you're in a way that's going to kill this relationship sooner or later. She needs to ve with someone more compatible, and so do you. Letting her go will allow this to happen.