I really really want to kill myself but I know if I do my fiance's

He'd regret it for the rest of his life. It'd drive any reasonable man insane.
Are reason why you want to kill yourself?

>>17096342
There are a lot of them. I'm mentally ill and I suffer from pretty crippling depression, and I'm tired of being a burden on the people I love. It's part because of my own personal suffering, part because I can't stand the thought of hurting my loved ones any more by lashing out, pushing them away and disappointing them.

>>17096345
If your fiance wants you to be his fife, then it's pretty obvious that you aren't a burden on him. Tell him how you feel before you end it

>>17096354
I guess you're right.. I guess I'm afraid to put it on him. He's already got his own shit to deal with. We both came from pretty unhappy lives. I guess the difference is that he knows how to handle himself, and I don't. I take anti-depressants, but they seem to have stopped working. It's frustrating, because I really do want to get better, for him. But it seems hopeless, like I'm just going to be fucked up and broken forever. I'm so tired of being like this.

>>17096371
If you think he's sad, then tell him you're sad too. Being sad with someone is better than being sad alone. I told my best friend of 10 years that I'm depressed and an alcoholic and she told me that she has serious depression and honestly we've never been closer, and we're working together to get better. Tell him why your depressed even if you think it'll undermine you.

Do you know why you are depressed, what the root cause of it all is? I find that philosophy has helped me greatly in curbing my depression. It's given me a new outlook on life that makes all the pains of the world feel like nothing but transient feelings, as all feelings are.

I tend to stick with existentialism because it provides for me a good mixture of light and dark. It doesn't bullshit me with hope for something that doesn't exist or make sense, it simply sees existence for what it is: nothing more and nothing less than reality. Where you have the freedom to control your world through whatever means you can in your limited human form, right up until you die.

>>17096371
>I take anti-depressants, but they seem to have stopped working
you just need to change your meds, there are many different kinds of anti-depressants so make an appointment with your psychiatrist and stop indulging your mental illness

>>17096371
>I take anti-depressants, but they seem to have stopped working.
then talk to your psychiatrist and switch meds

this is why people kill themselves, because you can't be smart enough to realise there is actually something that might help you a little bit. you're not helpless, stop acting like it. I'm not saying depressions isn't serious, but not reaching out is your own mistake

>>17096389
Mm.. You're right. I should be brave about it, and just be honest with him about how I feel. I'm scared, but I should be able to trust him. I know he loves me.

>>17096404
Honestly, I could trace a lot of it back to my ex. He kind of gutted me emotionally and psychologically. Really fucked up my self-confidence and taught me how to hate myself. I haven't been the same since I dated him. I do hate that he's still having this effect on me years later, when I'm with someone kind, though.

I try to apply a kind philosophy for other people, see that there's good and bad in all of them and that's okay. But I just can't seem to make it stick for myself. Things I'd forgive other people for, I end up hating myself for. I can see what I'm doing, but that kind of just makes it more frustrating because I don't have control over it.

>>17096412
You're probably right. Maybe I need to switch to a different kind. Hopefully those will work where these didn't. Thank you.

>>17096433
Yeah, I'll readily admit that I have issues with reaching out for help. I'm afraid of seeming vulnerable, I guess. I kinda put on this front of being tough and okay, and I'm actually the support for a lot of my friends. I don't reach out to them because I don't want to scare them with how bad it gets sometimes.

You're right, though. I'm not helpless. It really is just the depression making me believe that. It's getting an extra strong hold of me lately because of the meds situation and because of some outside issues overwhelming me. I really need to learn when to ask for help.

>>17096442
there's no need to be afraid of 'seeming vulnerable' with a psychiatrist, they're there for for you, it's their job.

start with the meds, talk to people about how you're feeling worse now, talk to your fiancee, he's marrying you so if there's someone you can open up to it's him

>>17096447
Alright. Thank you.. Seriously. I appreciate you being honest with me and taking the time to talk to me. You're all very kind.

>>17096434
>Honestly, I could trace a lot of it back to my ex. He kind of gutted me emotionally and psychologically. Really fucked up my self-confidence and taught me how to hate myself.

I still wonder how this sort of thing happens. You must have had a weakness in willpower before him that he took advantage of. Fortunately your willpower is always there, waiting to be taken back again.

Firstly try to judge yourself from the outside. Remember that you want to be happy. You should never want to hate or destroy yourself, just as you should never want to hate or destroy anyone else. His words have no truth to them.

Let me think.. why would you kill yourself?


Did you live miserable life where you are son of a Prince who illuminatis hate, they abduct his kid from home at 7 years old. Teach him sex and sucking dicks... bring most current age world leaders and politicians to molest him?

Then send him back home memory lost, put him in a school where all teachers molest him and beat him up?

Then illuminatis trying to kill him over 200 times?

Then illuminatis killing most of his family and friends or even people who share the same last name?

Then he turns into a terrorist who leads a huge group of alliance all over the world and is responsible for the death of so many people cause a group of fags being illuminatis thought they are so cool messing with that Prince son?

Geez.... I wish I got your life!