So I need an outsiders look on my problem, that me and the girl

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So I need an outsiders look on my problem, that me and the girl I love have.
Quite a lot of details, will try to get everything in there.

So when both parties have been through a rough patch, and both parties got hurt, who's to blame the most?
Can you measure "hurt"? Like when, I fell I got hurt the most, does she bear most off the blame?


>dated for four years
>she cheated
>broke up with me, cause she couldn't bear what she did
>the love for me, made her not tell me, about the real reason we broke up
>she turned off brain for a month, not thinking about consequences
>she was with him again, two weeks later
>both times pissed-drunk and she would stop half-way
>know, that I didn't know why we broke up, did not know about the things she had done
>approx. a month after we broke up, we started seeing each other again
>looked through her iPad, that's when I found out about the hurtful things she did
>tells me she cried every day for several weeks after she cheated and broke up with me. her mother confirms
>could see in her eyes, that she regrets
>I wanted to know everything
>it turned into, me calling everyday, to ask the same things over and over again, until she couldn't bear it nomore
>i kissed a girl, a night I went out with my friends. left the party immidately, regretting it.
>told her the next day, she was sad.
>one night I went out, I met her. I was pissed immidiately. It turned into a nasty argument, something none of us had done before.
>she slapped me, I called her nasty things, which I have never done before
>all in all, that night it really got out of hand, for both of us.
>we've talked since, became good friends real fast
>we had a nice day, the day after
>I feel like shit for my part of it
>she fells like shit for her part of it
>still I fell like, I'm the most hurt, because of what she did
>If she hadn't done it, we wouldn't have been in a position like this
>we kind of made up, but it's really a question of justification for me

>wat do?