I recently inherited half of my dad's money (my sister inherited

>>16958866

How much did you inherit?

>>16958873

Why does it matter?

>>16958876

it doesn't just curious. Fucking tell me

>>16958878

Fine. Only because this is an anon site.

A little bit over 3 million USD each.

>>16958882

Rich faggot. Buy me a steam game?

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imo if you do help him out, I'd come with the stipulation that he has to go through rehab and address the issues that caused your father to disown him to begin with. I wouldn't just throw money at the situation hoping things get better.

>>16958882
>A little bit over 3 million USD each.
Shieet

Buy him an apartment that is worth around $500,000 going halves with your sister.

It's enough to not insult your fathers wishes and beyond a token amount.

Your brother will be expecting $1M but whether you go this high is up to your sense of generosity and fairness. Your father is dead, he won't care.

>>16958891

Thanks.

>>16958893

I was thinking that my sister and I could buy the apartment for him 50% each and let him live alone, but not actually put the apartment on his name. He wouldn't have to pay rent but he wouldn't be homeless. If we put the apartment on his name, we are afraid he could do something stupid in the future like sell it for the cash and do who knows. He has done unpredictable things in past and that is partly why my dad left him out of the will.

Give him small increments, that way he'll always be under your thumb and won't be as tempted to do something stupid.

>>16958866

If he's completely irresponsible with cash (drugs, gambling etc) he will eventually become homeless regardless. If your father couldn't trust him with money then you shouldn't either.

Having him stay with you is a good option if you're okay with that though.

Don't enable him. Don't give him anything or he will be reliant on you for the rest of his life.

Respect your dads wishes. Your dad didn't buy him an apartment with his money for a good reason.

don't give em shit

He's your brother you dick. And he got written out of his fathers will. The only child that didn't get anything. Sit down with your sister agree on an amount then say "here bro we felt like you deserved this too because we are a family" give him said amount and then let him know you won't give him anymore so don't just blow it.

>>16958903
Set up a trust with him as beneficiary but you and your sister as trustees. Buy apartment in name of the trust.

Later, if he comes good you can give him control.

This is a good suggestion, thanks

>>16958950

meant for

>>16958943

>>16958866
I personally think you should go with the "one chance" route. Help pay for a cheap apartment for him and get him into rehab, but tell him if he fucks up by either not holding a good job or falling back on drugs again, he'll never receive financial help from you again. And stick to it. I think your father left him out of the will because he wants your brother to help himself. Just giving him a million dollars would have been a huge mistake, according to what you've said about bad decisions and substance abuse. But I think he'd appreciate his other children helping him get back on his feet. I doubt he truly hated him and wanted him to suffer or anything.
But I didn't know your father or your brother, so. Do what you think is best.

>>16958935
>”because we are a family”
>father disowned him

I think you should respect your father`s wishes, OP. You don`t choose to which family to be born into, you probably already know by now that ”we are family” is a broken record to make you put up with people you didn`t choose to be with.

>>16958963
My mother tossed me out like trash when I was a kid. Not because I did anything wrong but because I was no longer of use to her. If my sisters had abandoned me too id be devastated. And if my mom left me an inheritance and not them I'd absolutely split it three ways. Siblings are important. Give him once chance his share and nothing more. Actually I think I'd never turn my sisters down but maybe you aren't as close. Having divorced parents so young we have all kind of watched out for each other because our parents were so busy fighting. They are the only people that I know will always be there.

Best solution, buy a cheap property(joint ownership maybe), and let him live in it rent free/$1 rent, but don't pay for any bills. Say that if he is substance free for a number of years then it'll be gifted to him.

Don't give him money and be very clear to him that you won't ever give him money, because *I assume* that had a large part to play with why your father disowned him.
Basically offer him the opportunity to get his life back on track. Invoke your dads death if you need to and that he did what he did(I'd advocate lying even if this isn't true), in the hope of him shaping up... here's the opportunity... take it or leave it.

My opinions on drug abuse tend to be those of the Swiss. Its bad, but the solution is rehabilitation and removing the aspect of their life that makes them want to take the drugs. Realistically, only he and going to get counselling would aid in stopping this, so maybe throw in payments for that if there is a problem other than the substance abuse you know of.

>>16958866

>its not my money

yes it is. you inherited it. to say 'oh i shouldnt give you any because you and the person who died' didnt get along is a bullshit reasoning.
the universe handed you a reward, not for being a good son, but for getting along with your father it would seem. morally, id say you should get your brother an apartment for X amount of days if it doesnt take up too much of the money.

>>16958903
>I was thinking that my sister and I could buy the apartment for him 50% each and let him live alone, but not actually put the apartment on his name.
Sounds good enough

>>16958866

Can't you buy a cheap condo or something for 100k and be done with it? That way he always has a roof over his head and you respect your father's wishes somewhat.

>'Why don't you give me more money?'
>'Because you are an irresponsible twat who does drugs.'

>>16958866
Actually it IS your money now, and your sister's, and the two of you can each do whatever you want with it.

That said, as long as your brother remains a dubious proposition, you may want to be modest in your donations. Instead of buying him a flat, the two of you could give him the down payment and let him pay off the mortgage. That sort of thing.

>>16958866
>but I don't know how he would react if I said I don't want to buy him anything or give him money.
This is a red flag in itself, your brother knows that you and your sister have inherited money, he is trying to get what he can out of you, especially if he thinks you will finance his lifestyle (substance abuse).

>>16958943
>>16958950
>>16958956
Be very careful about this. Do not underestimate an addict, or even an abuser. People have been in similar situations and the addicts have killed their family thinking they'll get an inheritance. A mentor of mine is going through this right now because his brother has already been caught trying to kill him once to feed his crack problem.

>>16958866
>it's not my money
It is now.

Your older brother is a loser.

"Financial troubles"? Really.

He came from a multi-million dollar family and needs money? People get ahead in life starting in DEBT, and he WANTS money?

OP, my parents went into debt to raise me and now I helped them get out of it. I was able to make it on my own with nobody's help. Paying for an apartment is not difficult unless you are spending ridiculous amounts of money on something stupid (like drugs).

You aren't buying him an apartment, you are buying him drugs...the apartment is just a financial platform that lets him put aside more money for substances.

Fuck him.

The whole family should sit down, hear him out. Give him a little loan, if he doesn't piss the money down the drain, consider helping him.

You have to do what you can live with.

However, going to a few alanon for family meetings wouldn't hurt your perspective. You don't have to talk, just listen. Hear what substance abuse has done to surrounding people. Ponder what your bleeding heart is actually going to do in terms of your brother getting his shit together. Consider ways to be available when he gets his feet under him rather than supporting an addiction.

Your father is dead. He's not coming back, and he no longer has any feelings about anything.

On the other hand, your brother is very much alive. I like the other anon's idea of purchasing a relatively cheap property and allowing your brother to live in it, but make sure he understands it is a drug-free property.

My father recently passed away. He did not write a will. He had planned on giving shit out to my siblings and i before he was going to die but his illness suddenly jumped into high gear and was not able. He didnt have much for money, however he had thousands of dollars invested in tools.

I recently found out his wife is already having money issues and im worried she will end up losing everything trying to save the house. I can only do so much to help but it wont be enough to save the house.

Sorry that was all off topic. On topic, i would help him out but dont spend much. Keep it in your name.

>>16959701
>from rich family
>family refuses to give you money
>have no money like everyone else

>from poor family
>family goes into debt to give you money
>have money needed to get ahead in life
>become a total asshole and shitpost on 4chan

>>16959774

Don't think you know what shitposting means buddy.

>he doesnt like addicts, he must be a real jerk

>>16958882
>3 million
Yeah buy him a shitty apartment and then never give him anything ever again.

He's a druggie. Give him nothing until he's gone through rehab and has like 6 months of clean living.

>>16958882
My house is going to be foreclosed on and I have leukemia. Help me not lose my home and your brother can just live here ha I'll keep him in line too.

>>16958866
>But now that he has passed away, my older brother is asking my sister and I to buy him an apartment and help him out because he has financial troubles.

Nope. Forget how your father felt about your brother - their relationship doesn't have to be any of your business.

The money is yours. Not your dads, not your brothers, yours.

Druggie brother wants you to give him free stuff? Nope. That's not a solution to anything. Won't resolve his needs, won't keep him out of your hair (it will result in him demanding more stuff from you).

Do help him, but get him the help he needs, and that's not a free apartment. Druggies need rehab and a job.

I agree; being a decent person and human being is helping your brother out.

I disagree, that helping him is buying him an appartment. As others have said, this will only enable him to do more drugs.

I would vouch for, giving him a spare room, get him into rehab, counseling etc etc etc. And show him that you are there for him, but he gotta put in the work. It will feel better to all parties involved, and most likely would make your dad happy from heaven, if he refuses to be helped, or work on himself, then fuck it.

Helping someone =/= tossing money / appartment at them.

My family is similar to yours, and this is how they would handle it. Until he mature enough to handle the money, don't give him shit. It will simply be wasted. Legally you can show your goodwill through legal trust structures as implied above.

Talk it through with your brother aswell, and show him you're willing to help but do the real deal, no freebies, first work, then reward.

Good luck.

how the fuck do you grow up in a household like this and fuck up so bad? your bro is worthless dont give him shit

>>16958866
What kind of financial trouble? How much does he need to get out of it? Get with your sister and work it out between you two. If it's problems like drugs, then only pay for rehab and give him more if he's able to detox. If it's problems like getting into a snowballing debt, then pay off the debt (assuming its not massive yet) and let him be.

I cant imagine the conflict OP, how close were you all?