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I don't know if anybody saw my last thread about how I skipped school for an entire year to do absolutely nothing while my dad paid for my rent thinking I was going to college.
Well I told my dad. He was pissed, rightfully so. I do not feel relief. I feel the biggest shame. I now know why seppuku is commited. He brought up how I lied to his face about going to school last semester, he talked about the sacrifices he is making, sending me $1,100 a month to live.
Like that other guy said last thread, I don't even deserve to kill myself because that would be an escape from the problem. I have no idea what's going to happen now. While I didn't go to school I saved up a measly $3,500. I told him I would pay for my rent if he doesn't want to anymore, but he said that wasn't necessary. I could feel the disappointment on the other side of the phone.
Please, because I don't deserve to kill myself, let me know how I am the biggest piece of shit in the world.
I'm going to school this semester and taking a fuckload of classes to catch up and graduate at the same time, but I don't think anything I do would ever make right the fact that I lied to my dad for a year.
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>>16957392
>I'm going to school this semester and taking a fuckload of classes to catch up and graduate at the same time
good but remember it's not better if you fuck up by overloading yourself
>but I don't think anything I do would ever make right the fact that I lied to my dad for a year.
absolutely right, so why not stop hating yourself for it. Get a nice degree, get a nice income and try to pay your old man back one day.
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>>16957400
I told him I will pay him back, but he said he didn't want that. He wouldn't even let me pay for my own rent, even after I lied to him for a whole year.
I don't deserve these parents. But I guess it's probably annoying to hear me shit on myself especially since I did all this knowingly. Thanks for the advice.
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>>16957400
>pay your old man back
This. Later on, granted, but definitely this.
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>>16957442
I will 100% definitely pay him back for everything he has done for me, and even more. I hope one day he will forgive me for the lies I told him.
And they were some serious fucking dirty shameless lies I told.
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>>16957440
I'd guess he refused because whatever you say right now holds little significance.
Repay him by:
1) Succeeding in school
(Remember NOT to overload yourself, you're trying to grow a pair, not to throw another fit)
2) Paying him back later on when you've got job and income
(I'd say, do this even if he doesn't want you to. Just wind up at his house one day and give him the money. That's for YOUR pride and your own good, not his.)
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>>16957392
take all the guilt you are feeling and put it into your school work. stop procrastinating and study.
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Update:My mom called me now since my dad must have told her.
She was way more brutal. She said I need to get a job and pay for my own food and rent. So who knows what's gonna happen now. I understand though. I deserve that.
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