I'm looking for advice to deal with crippling apathy some

W0w story of my life.

Start lifting. Yeah, I know it's an exercise. But when you see how much a fucking weakling you are, doesn't it just make you wanna do something about it?

>>16956787
it doesn't. I'm not the world's strongest woman but I'm not the weakest either since I already exercise. lifting isn't going to improve my health any more than it already is so I have no reason to do it

>>16956757
smoke crack

>>16956808
Six years, huh...I've been the same for about fifteen months now and on antidepressants for the last five of those months, they're not really doing much and I'm in the process of possibly getting an ADD diagnosis. How have you not broken down completely after so long?

>>16956813
I tried crack enough times not to want it again

>>16956827
I'm not depressed, just lacking in motivation or interest. so while I don't have a reason to live, I don't have a reason to kill myself either, and just staying alive isn't entirely inconvenient for me. I can still enjoy things, laugh, etc. but idk everything feels like a dream or something

What hobbies did you try?

>>16956871
the obvious ones like reading, painting, cooking, sports, board/video games, collecting stuff etc.

a lot of stuff I have only tried a handful of times but enough not to have any interest in them. it's difficult to give an exhaustive list but I have been trying new things consistently all my life

>>16956851
You're probably depressed, I know I am, and you sound pretty similar to me. I can still joke and be charismatic and stuff, people talking to me often remark "You don't seem depressed". The thing is, that stuff is on autopilot. Everything else is on autopilot too for that matter, wake up, sit on front of computer until tired, go to bed, repeat. Eat, clean and do hygiene stuff sometimes but can't be bothered nearly as often as I should. Only reason I show up at appointments and stuff is because I have a convenient notepad document with date, time and location, and because my livelihood depends on it.

I figure that ADD is the next suspect since antidepressants alone won't make me bother with reality, that's pretty much why I'm getting it looked at and eventually getting a diagnosis. A friend of mine who has an ADD diagnosis let me try his meds for a day once and trust me, that made me more than little motivated to both clean the house and study, so it doesn't seem like a far cry.

>>16956909
which medication was it? I took atomoxetine for a few months but all it did was give me a tremor. from your description I'm guessing it was adderall or something?

>>16956925
Concerta (active substance Methylphenidate, same as the more commonly known Ritalin).

Honestly, it feels like my life would be a lot better if I had a steady supply of those. On the other hand, I know that he stopped taking them because he felt that the effect had diminished drastically and he felt terrible in the morning before getting the first dose of the day. I'm guessing it's not all happy go lucky when you're taking a pill with a name starting with Meth daily. Still, would probably prefer being a druggie over being an apathetic deadbeat who barely bothers to eat and shower.

>>16956951
I hope you can get your ADD diagnosis then. unfortunately I don't have any problems with concentration or energy levels, it's just what to do with my life I'm struggling with and it seems there isn't an easy answer besides "keep trying new things" which I have been doing my entire life to no effect

>>16956975
I realize it might not be the same for you at all, but for me, energy levels and motivation to do things with my life are closely intertwined for me. On the very rare occasion that I wake up energetic and happy, I'm usually also pretty motivated.

It's a sadistic death spiral: don't give a crap so you don't [ ] things, don't things to give a crap about.
I also don't want to be diagnosed, god only know what they'll find in my head