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I'm in love with a quiet, timid girl and need help.
First, I'll say a bit about myself: I'm a virgin and loner that arrived in my current city 4 years ago. Since then, I've lived without any friends and in almost total solitude. The only people I talk to are my parents and nobody attracts me. I've also dropped Mechanical Engineering, Physically, I'm a bit overweight, but my facial appearance is easily a 8/10.
Recently, I've started cram school and met this cute girl that wants to study Medicine. She's unusually timid for a girl, but still less shy than me. She started sitting beside me in class and that's when I noticed her.
One day she offered gum to me and periodically said "hi". Recently, though, she's fiercely ignoring me by avoiding looking at me or even saying "hi". Of course, I've always treated her this way (maybe it's her idea of "retribution"?) because I'm very shy.
Even though she's not saying anything, I've noticed that her body language hasn't changed around me:
>she rubs her hair a lot
>sometimes touches her thighs
>she's fidgety with her hands
>sometimes puts a lipstick that has no color (maybe it's cocoa lipstick?)
>avoids eye contact even more
I've researched online and noticed that these seems to be signs of attraction, but as she's very shy it's very difficult to know for sure because it's not too obvious.
I've also noticed that recently she's more "nervous" (like she's late for something) and bored. Maybe it's because I haven't approached her?
Well, /adv/, I really need some help here. I want to approach her but I'm really unsure about it. I fear I'm misunderstanding everything and that I'll probably get rejected. I want to be sure she likes me before taking any serious action.
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>>16956492
the quiet and timid ones are the biggest of whores
what you want is a tsundere. where there's a soft creamy center inside of the rough exterior.
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Just ask her out for coffee or something casual like that. Knowing what she likes helps. She's either interested or not. Don't be scared to at least try initiation.
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>>16956496
Dunno if you're right, but all the whores I know are the loud ones.
>>16956502
I'll do that once I have deeper certainty that she likes me. For a guy that stutters a lot around girls, it's very hard to just ask her out. Most people there think I'm an arrogant prick because I don't talk.
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>>16956492
I was in your position. I worried about it for months. I couldn't tell if she liked me or not. It dragged on so long that eventually I did try to ask her, but couldn't work up the courage, told her friend, her friend told her and I got rejected. I've been torturing myself ever since wondering if I'd asked her out like 3 weeks after meeting her I'd be somewhere different right now.
Fucking ask her out on a date tomorrow. Please don't be like me, I'm serious.
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>>16956510
>I just want deeper certainty
No fucko. No. Fucking do it NOW. I was in exactly your position, but with that stupid fucking attitude I may have ruined everything.
The next time you see her, say "Hey, you seem like an interesting person, I'd like to get to know you better. Do you want to go and grab a coffee with me some time this weekend?"
I've been torturing myself for weeks thinking "why oh why oh why didn't I just ask her when I had the chance"
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>>16956496
so true
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>>16956520
>>16956529
Shit. Is she slowly losing interest/patience because I don't act? I was actually thinking about waiting a bit more. We aren't even close.
Dunno what should I do now. I'm worried.
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>>16956542
She probably is. You're not asking her to be your girlfriend, you're asking her on a date to get to know her better. Don't wait, ask her as soon as you can.
You're taking her on a date (without calling it a date explicitly) to progress your friendship along a more romantic path than you would otherwise go down if you were to leave it and wait. That particular path is the path to a place some people call the friend zone, but I just call being bored of you.
Seriously. Do it as soon as you can, thank me later.
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>>16956492
>a lipstick that has no color
I think you mean lip balm, anon.
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>>16956542
>Is she slowly losing interest/patience because I don't act?
yes
do not wait
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>>16956557
There is a window of romantic interest - the longer you know the person and the longer your relationship develops, a number of things can happen, but by my experience the most likely result will be that she will get bored of you and your novelty will wear off and she won't really care about getting to know you better.
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>>16956553
Well, I guess I have no other option, then. I'll just ask her out next week and see how we progress from there. We're not even friends, she was just someone that acted friendly around me by being gentle.
>>16956556
Probably. I never looked directly at her while she was doing that. We call it by other name here, didn't know how to translate it to English.
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>>16956492
Those body language "signs" mean absolutely nothing. Stop trying to interpret them.
What is real is that she made a simple friendly gesture (said hi and offered gum) and you froze her out. So, logically, she deduced you weren't interested in her and decided to respect your privacy by not imposing any more.
In short, you blew it.
You can recover by saying Hello the next time you run into her and offering a quick apology "I'm sorry if I haven't been friendly for a while. My head was full of other stuff. Let me make it up to you with a coffee/coke after class."
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>>16956579
Yeah, those are the kinds of people you ask out. Asking out a friend is a lot more difficult.
All you're doing is saying:
1. I want to get to know you better
2. Let's go and grab a coffee together this weekend
That's it. If she asks "What, like a date?" you say "Yeah, it'll be fun." That's all.
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>>16956582
I actually offered her gum the next day and even asked if she wanted me get a cup of coffee for her. She refused both (I also refused when she offered me gum).
>>16956598
O-okay. But I fear she'll reject and tell her friend about it.
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>>16956582
I'm that sad beta from earlier in the thread that failed to ask a girl out. A month or two into my crush I had advice from guys saying "Bro, you've blown it, she's losing interest" and I remember shitting myself and getting so anxious I tried and failed to ask her out abortively and nearly ruined everything long ago.
Don't let what this guy is saying make you do the same, stay calm, just ask her out on a date to get to know her better. Don't apologise.
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>>16956604
>to get
FIx'd.
>>16956606
Right! Thanks for sharing your experience.
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>>16956604
If she tells her friend about it, so fucking what? You didn't do anything wrong, you just asked her out. Who gives a fuck
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