Hi /adv/, I hope all is well with you. I'll try and keep

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Hi /adv/, I hope all is well with you. I'll try and keep it quick. Weird situation, but I feel others may be in the same boat

>going to uni
>See grill for a year
>she was cute and nerdy, just the kind of chick I like
>at the time saw she wasn't a good influence, very selfish at times and princess-syndrome
>at times felt like I was dealing with a child
>end up breaking up, she graduated and wanted to make it a long-distance relationship
>I had become so frustrated with her and her ways that I didn't think much of it
>cut all contact, not a message
>literally bury myself in my schooling, improve myself and become a better person
>worked a job alongside school which I enjoyed, but took up a lot of my time

>fast forward two years
>about to graduate with more than I could've imagined when I started uni
>I've made the greatest of friends and in a field which I can't see living without
>however I rarely really feel anything, always thinking of work
>old hobbies start to feel more like chores
>found out that my ex had fairly severe depression, and possible other mental instabilities which explain why she acted the way she did. None of which she told me
>any thought of my ex is the only thing to really induce an emotional reaction, and it's an immense sense of guilt and regret

How do I go about this? She's this weird rose-tinted standard that I apply to all girls I talk to. At times I feel like I just want to get back together with her, but I know she hasn't changed an iota since we last dated, but the thought of other men with her makes me jealous, angry and sad. I feel like a child in this respect, but I just can't let it go. I should be proud of myself and my accomplishments, but instead I feel like a fucking idiot for following my head instead of my heart.

tl;dr how to let go and feel again