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I had a fight with my girlfriend, and i don't know if i

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I had a fight with my girlfriend, and i don't know if i am in the wrong and i am over-exaggerating.
Or my feelings are understandable and i need to figure out out to deal with it.

So, she had a photo session, and uploaded pictures to facebook without a top, but with body-paint (pic related).

i asked her before-hand not to do it. but she said it's too late, they already did the thing and now she's not gonna tell them not to upload it.

I know this might not seem like a big deal. but in my mind, i see her exposing herself, and it really bothers me.
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I'm really hoping to some outside opinion, because i don't know who to talk with about this
and i haven't talked with her for a week now because of this
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>>16949544
so...is that her photo?
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>>16949544
>>16949567
>>16949544
Is she a model ?
An artist ?
Is this a hobby, something she does regularly ?
Is it for friends, or is she payed for it ?
>>
test
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Do not marry her ever
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Seems artistic and professional. If she wants to be expressed in that semi nude mannor maybe enjoy it and support her. Its not pornographic and it must make her happy.let it fly hommie
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You need to figure out why it bothers you so much and communicate THAT to her instead of "don't do it -- i don't want you to expose yourself"

But WHY. Does the sexual attention make you uncomfortable? Does it feel like she's opening herself for advances? Are you upset that she didn't listen to you?

You're never going to be "in the wrong" for expressing your feelings but it sounds like you aren't being forward enough with what the real problem is.
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>>16949544
>>16949593
I disagree with this guy OP. It would be different if you had given consent before hand, but you did the opposite, you specifically asked her not to do it. You obviously had an issue with it, she ignored your feelings about the matter, and now she wants to go "OH well, nothing i can do!" Nah. She blatantly disregarded you. THAT and only THAT is the issue - she blatantly disregarded you. She didn't discuss it, she didn't talk about it - she just did whatever the fuck she wanted and didn't give a fuck. I would take issue with that.

That being said, why did you not give your consent to this when she asked you for it? If the reason is that you don't want your woman's body parts on the internet, I understand where you are coming from but they're her body parts. Your only real choice is whether or not you can accept it and stay or not accept it and leave. You don't own her body; she owns her own body.... so I will repeat:

>Your only decision was whether or not to stay with her.

That's still your only decision. I don't know what I would have done because I don't know the details - what was this for? why did she want to do it so badly? what's the context?
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>>16949576
Yes, i mentioned that the picture is related. i cut her face of course.

>>16949582
This is a hobby, and yes, she has done it for a (female) friend.
she did not get paid.
which is also another issue i have, since i feel that she got "used", even though she denies it and said she wanted to do it and enjoyed it.

>>16949596
>>16949607
Some more details:
She claims that she told me before the photoshoot, that it would be topless, and i didn't object.
I don't deny that she did, but i never heard that part, maybe i was distracted by driving or something, but i never heard it.

Later, she did the photoshoot, and i said this really bothers me, and that i would really prefer if she would not upload those pictures, since they are too slutty (bad choice of words).
and just thinking of them online makes me feel physical ill.

Later, after they were uploaded, i discussed my feeling with her further.

I think the thing that bothers me the most, is just the nonchalant attitude she had to doing something so extreme (in my eyes).
And yes, doing something like this, even though she knew full well i don't approve of.

I do feel like i am making drama over nothing. like.. you can barely see anything.
and yet, in my mind, i see her exposing her breast to the whole world.

I don't plan on leaving her, we're together already for longer than 5 years.
And it's too late now to turn the wheels of time, the pictures are up.
The problem right now, is that i don't know how to deal with my feelings about this.

on one hand: she controls her life and her body, i have no say and can't tell her what to do and not do.

on the other hand: the way i feel about her changed, i feel like before i thought she had more... "class". and now she has done something that is very slutty in my eyes.
and i'm not conservative at all. yet still when it's my own girlfriend, that's the feeling i get.
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>>16949637
/adv/ tends to be populated with whores desperately trying to validate their poor life choices so you won't get much useful advice here OP

My 2c is that a woman who would happily upload naked pictures or herself onto the internet for the world to see is not the kind of woman I want to raise my children. You sound like the kind of guy who feels the same. Just have a think about what kind of mother someone like that would make.
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Worth mentioning:
I did ask her to remove the tags, and she did remove them. so it's not on her profile anymore.

but it WAS after everyone already seen it (had like 350+ likes or something..)
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>>16949649
Well that's not really an issue, i don't plan on having kids and neither does she.

And i don't think she's a whore.
Just that she did something very very dumb.
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>>16949637
If you've begin together five years and something like this changes your mind about her, there are other problems in the relationship that need to be addressed.
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>>16949656
>Just that she did something very very dumb.
Then you should be able to accept that she just did something stupid and move on. I agree with >>16949659, I feel like you're using this as an excuse to break up with her or something and need our validation
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>>16949637
>I don't deny that she did, but i never heard that part, maybe i was distracted by driving or something, but i never heard it.
Ah. Yeah this girl sounds like my ex girlfriend. Chances are she didn't mention it at all or if she did it was very, very indirect because she didn't REALLY want to discuss it with you - she just wanted to do w/e the fuck she wanted. DANGER will robinson DANGER! Women like this are shit tier.
>on the other hand: the way i feel about her changed, i feel like before i thought she had more... "class". and now she has done something that is very slutty in my eyes.
I understand. You were wronged in two ways - she didn't actually discuss this with you, she just didn't give a fuck to. The second is that she is now lying to you as if she did talk to you.

I honestly wouldn't stay with her. You obviously don't want a woman who wants to be an exhibitionist. Being an exhibitionist is obviously more important to her than your feelings or really even her relationship with you. It's obvious by her actions.

I know advice always says this, but I would straight dump her. I wouldn't even be mad. It would go something like this:
>Hey, it's your body lady, you do with it what you want
>But we didn't discuss this, which means you didn't have enough respect for us to discuss something like this before hand.
>I don't really care WHY you did what you did, you just need to know that I have a problem with you not discussing it with me, and now I see you differently.
>So, I'm not really interested in our relationship anymore and, just like you're free to be an exhibitionist online if you want to without discussing it with me, I'm allowed to be with a woman who has the values that I want in a woman. So bye.
But really. ^^ Basically how I dumped an ex.
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Bottom line, tell her everything that you just told us.
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>>16949637
>Yes, i mentioned that the picture is related
Wow that's pretty cool.... Coming from a femanon btw
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>>16949585
nigga chill
op dont listen to that.
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>>16949637
>I do feel like i am making drama over nothing
That's also what I think. You thought she had more class and is so slutty... Man you've got some insecurities going on.
Well you knew very well that it's a hobby of hers, so if you so can't accept it why did you even stay with her this long?
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>>16949544

>but in my mind, i see her exposing herself, and it really bothers me.

There's two sides to this argument.

On the one hand its important for couples to communicate about things that bother them and you at least opened yourself up and told the truth.

That's a good first step.

The second part of this argument is that your girlfriend shouldn't have to stop doing the things she likes to do simply because of your sexual insecurity.

Everyone's going to come down on me calling me a cuck and all that bullshit but I don't really care. Your girlfriend isn't ashamed of her body. She obviously likes the art and this is the way she has chosen to express herself.

Although she probably should of settled the issue more before doing it she is not your property. You are not at all entitled to instruct her to hide her body from the public eye if thats the way she chooses to express herself.

She isn't ashamed of her body and isn't afraid of what others say about her choices and if you were really a supportive boyfriend you would support her in doing this, not insist she be ashamed.

At this point you both either need to come to a mutual understanding about this or you need to find a new girlfriend. This is what she wants to do, this is her hobby.

She is not hurting anybody or anything but your pride by participating in this so you can either accept it or not but it isn't really your place to place restrictions on what she does with her own body.
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>>16949637

>I think the thing that bothers me the most, is just the nonchalant attitude she had to doing something so extreme (in my eyes).

So you're upset that she doesn't share your insecurity?

She doesn't feel like its so extreme. Why is it necessary for her to be ashamed to "expose her breasts to the world" just because you are?

If she was afraid of flying would it be ok for her to insist that you never go on one again?

I don't know man, everyone here is going to spout off about slut this and whore that but I don't really think like that. I think you need to change your idea of what "class" is.

I think instead of thinking about it as something she did TO you you should think about it as something she did for herself. I think you should be proud of her.

She is willing to go against the status quo to express herself. She does what she loves and what she wants with her life regardless of what society says she's supposed to do and these are the kind of people that are rare in this world.

Sure, showing your tits online isn't exactly starting a revolution but the point is she isn't afraid. You need to get away from this thinking that a girl is only as good as how few people have had sex with her or seen her naked.

She's obviously a free spirit. That would be a characteristic I would love in a woman. Also the fact that she refuses to kow-tow to anyone and lives her life the way she wants to. That's a good quality my friend.

Think past your insecurity and admire her for her unique qualities, not get caught up in the fact that a small number of people saw your girlfriend's tits. Who cares.

Dudes date strippers all the time and that's ok so honestly I don't see what the big deal is. You're still the only one that gets to cuddle up to those titties at night, what more do you want??
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