[Boards: 3 / a / aco / adv / an / asp / b / bant / biz / c / can / cgl / ck / cm / co / cock / d / diy / e / fa / fap / fit / fitlit / g / gd / gif / h / hc / his / hm / hr / i / ic / int / jp / k / lgbt / lit / m / mlp / mlpol / mo / mtv / mu / n / news / o / out / outsoc / p / po / pol / qa / qst / r / r9k / s / s4s / sci / soc / sp / spa / t / tg / toy / trash / trv / tv / u / v / vg / vint / vip / vp / vr / w / wg / wsg / wsr / x / y ] [Search | | Home]

how do i get a gf /adv/? >on train today >one of the most

This is a blue board which means that it's for everybody (Safe For Work content only). If you see any adult content, please report it.

Thread replies: 16
Thread images: 6

File: 5PVstMR[1].png (458KB, 531x596px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
5PVstMR[1].png
458KB, 531x596px
how do i get a gf /adv/?

>on train today
>one of the most attractive grills i've seen in a long time sits across from me
>shy and autistic
>would never talk to strangers in public anyways
>we were also in the quiet section of the train
w-what could i have said to her to get her number or ask her on a date?

i'm also a kissless virgin with no friends and there is nothing interesting about me apart from my unattractiveness.

inb4 joke replies
>>
>>16946989

1) get over yourself and admit that you'll likely fuck it up before you 'git gud'

2) get two hobbies, one personal/introverted one social/extroverted

3) get the fuck off 4chan
>>
>>16947001
what are some good social/extroverted hobbies? i've looked online for lists, but most of them are sports-related and i'm not good at sports (i workout, and i'm thin, but i can't throw a ball or anything like that)
>>
>>16946989
Nothing you could've said would have gotten you the intended result that you wanted. You have to learn how to get people's interest, and you need to be interested in other people.

>There is nothing interesting about me
>My unnattractiveness
You are unconfident and shallow. You have the ability to change this howevwr, but in the meantime you must learn to accept it, while simultaneously making a conscious effort to change it.

When I flirt with someone, I get into it. They become the focus of my attention, or at least that's the impression that I give them. If someone appears confident, I point out the faults in them that most people are too scared to. Both of these work, but unfortunately you cannot fake this feeling.

Nothing you say will serve it's intended purpose if you do not feel confident in it, because you will choke. You are going to chome, because it is not a facade that you can put on for long.

In order to form relationships and get what you want from people, you must learn how to understand people. You must understand what the fellowship and why, or at least have the confidence and social experience to ask why.

This comes from experience.

>I'm a Kissless virgin with no friends
Good. I used to be exactly like you. I was also a compulsive liar that was diagnosed with depression and nearly drove myself completely insane at one point in my life.

What is it that you think prevents you from being able to relate to people and make friends?
>>
File: EPYUbgk[1].jpg (118KB, 1080x1350px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
EPYUbgk[1].jpg
118KB, 1080x1350px
>>16947058
>What is it that you think prevents you from being able to relate to people and make friends?
i'm not really interesting, and i'm shy and never speak.

everyone else has cool stories and they know how to respond better to other people's conversations. usually i don't say anything to someone's story and can't think of what to say next
>coworker tells a story about her dog doing something cute
>i just smile and don't say anything
>another female coworker says "awww, that's really cute"

apart from my autism, i'm also boring. most of my coworkers have these fun stories of something happening to them or someone they know (e..g the dog story i mentioned). while i have nothing to share

how do i get this social experience. i've pretty much told every coworker i have that i'm a weirdo, and i don't know anyone else
>>
>>16947088
Not the guy you responded to but, here's a little secret: I'm almost certain that most of those stories your coworkers tell are fucking boring. I'm not trying to insult them; unless someone has led a particularly amazing life, chances are like 90% of their anecdotes are going to be mediocre, everyday tales. And the 10% that's actually interesting will get retold countless times, lowering any value they had.

The point is, you can easily match their stories, just lower your expectations of what you have to say. Not everything has to be a charismatic speech, or a modern day Iliad. Tell them about the great meal you had, or about the guy that tripped up getting on the bus that morning. What you say has value because YOU said it, not because of what it entails.

Just chill the fuck out, and stop calling yourself a weirdo. Or do call yourself a weirdo, but in a good way.
>>
>>16947088
>>16947133
This (I AM the guy that you responded to). Most people really are not interesting, and their confidence and social capital simply makes them appear that way.

http://gd0t.com/node/18

I send this link to almost everybody that I feel fits this description. It is geared towards all NT types, not just INTPs. Even if you think that MBTI is complete bullshit, this article is filled with relatable advice and incredible insight on how to improve your life of you are open minded enough to apply it to your life. This doesn't appeal to the bullshit "functions" that MBTI is based around, so you can trust the advice in it.

This was essentially life changing for me, and I would like you to tell me whether or not you feel like the description in it applies to you.
>>
File: feel.jpg (143KB, 568x634px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
feel.jpg
143KB, 568x634px
>>16946989
>>would never talk to strangers in public anyways
>>we were also in the quiet section of the train
dude you should thank the god you didnt do anything, the girl was probably scared shitless, this was probably one of the most terrifying train ride of her life.
>>
>>16947088
>apart from my autism

This is 4chan autism or actual autism?

Anyway you can be quiet or unattractive and get a girlfriend (not 9/10 girl of your dreams, I'm talking about average/ below average girl), but you can't be both. You either have to put in effort and learn how to talk to people and carry on an interesting conversation or invest time and money into your looks.
>>
It sounds cliche, but work on improving yourself.
>>
File: YXhgCZB[1].jpg (101KB, 1201x800px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
YXhgCZB[1].jpg
101KB, 1201x800px
>>16947133
i dont even have mediocre stories. for example:
>great meal
i pretty much only eat the same fast food. it's hard going to new restaurants by myself tbqh

you're right that most people's stories aren't that interesting. but the way they tell it, makes it interesting?
some of my coworkers talk about reality TV. i don't get like it at all, but they often have discussions on the people on the shows and what happens

>>16947182
i do think it describes me a little. but even though i might think, that i have complex thoughts, i have nothing to show for it.

>>16947230
i don't think she was scared at all. she could have easily moved

>>16947276
i've never had a long conversation, i rarely speak, i'm quiet, etc.
>>
>>16947542
>i've never had a long conversation, i rarely speak, i'm quiet, etc.

Then make yourself do it. No one is going to force you to have a conversation with them, if you want friends/gf you have you to actually try.
>>
File: 04_009a.jpg (210KB, 1024x2537px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
04_009a.jpg
210KB, 1024x2537px
>>
>>16947542
The meal was just an example. I didn't mean you can just talk about your dinner, but I meant it to show that any finite detail of your life can be used in conversation. Try and think of something relateable, something anyone can chime in on. Even use cliche bullshit, like the weather, to begin with just to get some momentum going. You've already perceived that it's how your coworker's say something, and not the content, so you obviously have some social awareness, or at least more than you first thought.

>Reality TV
Tell them you've never really gotten into it, and don't get the appeal. Ask them why they like it, ask a few more questions about the show (i.e if it's 'I'm a Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here', ask them about trials. If it's Big Brother, ask about the diary room or whatever other bullshit is on there). Don't be a dick about it, and act superior because you don't watch reality TV show. Just show an interest in something they're showing an interest in - show an interest in them, the person you're talking to.

Here, have this: http://www.artofmanliness.com/2012/08/22/how-to-make-small-talk/
And this: http://www.inoveryourhead.net/2011/04/25/the-complete-guide-to-not-giving-a-fuck/

Also, look up 'rsdtyler' on YouTube: He has a few good videos on social anxiety.
>>
>>16947542
>i don't think she was scared at all. she could have easily moved
I guess she would if you start approaching her, I would freak the fuck out too if some dude I never met before suddenly come near me on a secluded section of a train
>>
File: 6WbUDC8[1].jpg (292KB, 1280x1251px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
6WbUDC8[1].jpg
292KB, 1280x1251px
>>16947296
i should be doing this more consistently

>>16947652
thanks for the advice
Thread posts: 16
Thread images: 6


[Boards: 3 / a / aco / adv / an / asp / b / bant / biz / c / can / cgl / ck / cm / co / cock / d / diy / e / fa / fap / fit / fitlit / g / gd / gif / h / hc / his / hm / hr / i / ic / int / jp / k / lgbt / lit / m / mlp / mlpol / mo / mtv / mu / n / news / o / out / outsoc / p / po / pol / qa / qst / r / r9k / s / s4s / sci / soc / sp / spa / t / tg / toy / trash / trv / tv / u / v / vg / vint / vip / vp / vr / w / wg / wsg / wsr / x / y] [Search | Top | Home]
Please support this website by donating Bitcoins to 16mKtbZiwW52BLkibtCr8jUg2KVUMTxVQ5
If a post contains copyrighted or illegal content, please click on that post's [Report] button and fill out a post removal request
All trademarks and copyrights on this page are owned by their respective parties. Images uploaded are the responsibility of the Poster. Comments are owned by the Poster.
This is a 4chan archive - all of the content originated from that site. This means that 4Archive shows an archive of their content. If you need information for a Poster - contact them.