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>26 year old female >STEM career >reasonably/average

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>26 year old female
>STEM career
>reasonably/average attractiveness
>awkward, loud, actually weird
>never had a proper boyfriend, but desperately want to find someone to settle with
>How do I initiate a relationship?
>>
You don't.
>>
Online Dating and Tinder.
>>
try being less loud and obnoxious and more cute and welcoming
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>>16946584
I receive average interest, but no one asks me out!!!
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i think online dating is a good option
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>never had a proper boyfriend
so you were fucking non stop and now no one wants you because they know you're a slut
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>>16946577
It's not a quest, there's no one to give you a prize.

You basically just find yourself attracted to someone and with any luck they'll be attracted to you and when you both enjoy eachothers company and don't have to exert effort to enjoy eachother you made it.
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>>16946597
no not really. I've been developing a career so I wouldn't depend on anyone.
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>>16946599
>and with any luck they'll be attracted to you

Not OP but THAT NEVER FUCKING HAPPENS it's always unrequited, fuck.
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>>16946591
why don't you try asking them out
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>>16946599
I like the sounds of this. but how does this work? I'm a borderline autist that looks like a normal female. should I initiate things? will that make me look desperate?
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>>16946577
do a thing. try an activity on meetup.com
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Do I flirt and play hard to get??? I'm not keen on online stuff. There are plenty of OK candidates in the realworld/ within reach
>>
>>16946612

Not if you don't act desperate.

Basically the way you want it to work is that you're living your own life but you want to share it with someone else. That means you behave as equals with give and take and he will be more drawn to you that way. If you act like your life revolves around them then that's what starts to make you seem "desperate".
>>
STEM student here, male. Personally I'm shy, so if you are cute and asked me for coffee I'd probably say yes.

>no one ever asked though...
>>
>>16946577
Do you make an effort with your appearance?
Do you make an effort with your personality?

Being naturally 'okay-looking' is not enough - people want to date someone who *tries*. Online dating will get you laid and get you plenty of needy men, but if you want to date Chad, you've got to focus on becoming the kind of girl Chad dates; self confident, secure, emotionally stable and willing to put in the effort.

Hope this helps
>>
>>16946625
more please! you're a great dating coach. I met a guy recently at a friends gathering, I was very smiley and we exchanged numbers but he hasn't asked me out. what the heck
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Is it hard for you to show you are interested? I like to feel like I know more than a coin flip's chance that the girl is interested before I kiss them or some shit.
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>>16946631
I'm not looking for retard chad. I'm looking for a funny and intelligent guy
>>
sorry for spamming this board, its just that this is really getting me down and I don't want to post on reddit and get cheesy answers. I feel like guys are put off by my career choice/ are intimidated?
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>>16946577
Any girl who calls herself weird or crazy is a garbage.
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>>16946599
>>16946612
That works great in highschool (and to an extent college) where you're forced to meet new people, but it's a recipe for loneliness everywhere else. In industry (or even grad school, where I'm at) you work with the same people for years, most of whom are already in LTRs/married. That sort of thing will only happen if she can meet new people outside of work regularly. Not saying it can't be done that way, but it's a non-trivial commitment for uncertain benefit.
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You get off of 4chan for starters
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>>16946662
never!!!
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>>16946647
I don't think they are intimidated. I think they feel crazy in you (not in a good sense). You seem to be hella desperate and clueless and that puts them off. Frankly, I don't have any advice. I've come across girls who were fine and cool, and I enjoyed talking with them but they had some hards to describe vibes which screamed 'do not date me'. From what I gather many guys have the same problem as you. I suppose it's just how it is.
>>
>>16946668
tell me more about the crazy sensor.. I hate how people use the word 'vibe' to describe feelings toward someone.
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>>16946677
dude im getting hella creepy vibes from this post haha ;) :)
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1 go to soc
2 "autistic stem girl wants a husband"
3 3000 replies
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>>16946695
no I don't want to find anyone online, I want tips on how to improve my chances of finding someone from the pool of candidates around me (friends of friends etc)
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>>16946677
What more can I tell you? They were find but not a dating material. I think that every person has a certain air about them. There are optimistic girls, and angsty ones, and flower children girls, and girls-who-are-fine-but-not-a-date-material. You fall into that category, apparently. Why? Maybe you are socially clueless, or maybe just boring. This vibe thing, some people call it aura, some 'gut feeling' they have about a person. Like, you talk with a guy at a busstop for two minutes and you feel he's creepy and psycho-killer like because he gives off such vibes. It might be cause by body language, voice timbre or apperance or whatever. Hard to pin it down sometimes, especially when the person seems to be fine et normal at the first sight.
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>>16946647
I'll be totally honest I would never want to date a girl that was more accomplished in her career than mine.
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>>16946577
Ask a guy what he'd do to ya in bed. If you says 'wreck it' walk away, laughing
>>
Hey OP, I was wondering if I could take you out for some pizza and bowl-

>>16946699
... oh, I see how it is.
>>
>>16946591
I mean how many dates did you go on, usually the first or even the fifth doesn't go anywhere. You're not going to meet the right person in a day.

Are you a virgin because any guy would take you
>>
>>16946701
Ok I understand the crazy vibe theory, now how do I disguise it? I'm naturally very outgoing, loud and assertive but on the inside I have crippling insecurities and used to be shy. can they sense this?!
>>
>>16946577
If you are a moderately attractive girl and can't find someone then you aren't trying or are clinically retarded. Go on okcupid, put up a fucking profile and watch the offers roll the fuck in.

Don't talk to us about hard to get a relationship if you're a fucking woman. It is so stupidly easy.
>>
>>16946714
I think they can?! I don't know about hiding it, since pretending to be a different person is probably equally creepy and revolting. You describe yourself as
>very outgoing
>loud
at yet at 30 you are without a bf which should make you think and force you to pay more attention to your apperence or behaviour. It's honestly weird because girls with your traits usually don't have a problem with fiding a bf. You should have had a few casual bfs already. Dunno what's wrong with you, Opie. Sorry
>>
>>16946717
yes but I am literally an autist in disguise ! I can sense when a guy just wants to hook up. no one wants to date me! also I don't want to date unemployed or unambitious guys which seem to be very attracted to me
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>>16946714
I think they can?! I don't know about hiding it, since pretending to be a different person is probably equally creepy and revolting. You describe yourself as
>very outgoing
>loud
at yet at 30 you are without a bf which should make you think and force you to pay more attention to your apperence or behaviour. It's honestly weird because girls with your traits usually don't have a problem with finding a bf. You should have had a few casual bfs already. Dunno what's wrong with you, Opie. Sorry
>>
>>16946728
>no one wants to date me!
You've turned down plenty of us.
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>>16946733
I've paid for way too many dates.. I don't want a rich guy just someone who has their shit together and won't depend on me
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>>16946577
A 26 year old average looking woman in a STEM career that can't find men? You're fucking trolling or you're not as attractive as you think you are. I'm gonna go with the latter because STEM is full of thirsty nerds looking for that nerdy girl pussy.
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>>16946740
OK, free this weekend?
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>>16946740
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EwywPGAZ43Q

Your privilege is not welcome here
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>>16946746
I don't date within my department, its highly unprofessional
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>>16946772
Yeah you just suck their dicks for free

I bet you're the kind of girl without the common decency to give a guy a reacharound
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>>16946772
Now I know I'm getting trolled.
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>>16946774
as opposed to being paid?!?
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>>16946784
If you're good at something never do it for free
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>>16946577
" >reasonably/average attractiveness "

This could be your problem.

Women acquire the most successful men their looks can attract. Successful men acquire the best looking woman they could afford.

Guys in their 20's on dating apps only want sex, unless the girls looks like a model (which is extremely rare and also doesn't apply to you.)

If you want a boyfriend, online dating is fine, but only if you date 30 year olds and above. They are a lot more stable, have more years of experience in what works, know what they want, and are less likely to play games.

Don't dress conservatively. (This does not mean dress like a prostitute.)

Work on your personality. You mention you are "awkward, loud, and weird." This is a major problem, unless you want a boyfriend who is also awkward, loud, and weird.

Three great ways to begin improving your social skills is to:
-Try and speak with a good solid voice at a normal pace. Don't rush, be laid back.
-Do not interrupt. Let the other person finish their thought.
-When you finish speaking, ask them in return, things like "What about you?"

Also, college should be a great place to meet people and create relationships. Hang out with a cool STEM geek.

Don't wait for the guy to make the first move. If you like a guy, make the first move. Stop playing the damsel in distress. It's 2016, grow a sack. Go out there and say hello to people. Do it.
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>>16946808
thank you so much for this
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>>16946748
Pls respond ;-;
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>>16946808
>It's 2016
>>
>>16946577
>never had a proper boyfriend, but desperately want to find someone to settle with
>settle with
>desperately
Why? Why are you so focused on "settling" instead of.... you know... "finding someone I connect with"?
>>
>>16946833
kylo I find it strange that you're a woman..
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>>16946864
Probably because I'm not
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>>16946864
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>>16946871
text me back
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>>16946882
I don't see any messages
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>>16946888
I'm not doing it first.
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>>16946889
It would help if I knew who you were
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>>16946602
Find someonethat seems like they will depend on you then.
>>16946608
This so god damn much
>tfw its happened 8 times
>>16946632
Hes probably unsure or dating someone. Try for going out somewhere.
>>16946647
Doubt it. Though they are probably worried on personality.
>>16946652
Tell me then how many times has it worked for you?
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>>16946892
omegle

'stemchatgirl'
>>
>>16946662
At least shed be more interesting than most.
>>16946714
I think you might be looking at the wrong people. Out of curiosity what are you biggest interests?
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>>16946936
lurking the internet
watching documentaries
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>>16947000
Oh... Thats not much
Get more hobbies. Men tend to be movie buffs try seeing literally anything.
Thread posts: 67
Thread images: 5


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