i´m supposed to feel happy about everything going on in my life

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i´m supposed to feel happy about everything going on in my life but i am back to being a sad sack and a mess of insecurities.

i started dating someone who loves me a lot and can´t even hide it but i can´t never answer with the same enthusiasm because i fucking hate myself and i just feel sad for that person

i even started avoiding talking with him, etc, i would rather just talk to other people because he makes me sad and insecure about myself.

i know i should probably break it off but i care about his well being too much to do so. i even realized that i can feel enthusiasm and happy feelings when talking or being around other guys but he just turns me into a weak and pathetic mess.

i do feel like in some way i do love him but i´m just puzzled about everything.

i started feeling good a few months ago, accepting compliments, even went on and participated in a few proyects relacted to my major in college, but now i´m back to feeling like shit.

how could i fix my sense of self worth?