I've been friends with this girl for almost a year. We've

>>16918056
those are typically the worst kind of girls. you are either friend zoned right now, or she's trying to decide if you're an upgrade over her current bf

lets say she does dump him and you two start dating, don't you think she might pull this shit on you?

>>16918056
that's not a girl, that's matt zuckerberg

>>16918064
please

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Date other girls, see if she gets jealous.

Been there a couple of times. In her mind she most probably sees you as just a friend. Flirting is like a natural thing with guys they trust for most girls.

Girls in general have a fucked up concept of friends and boyfriends. You may be giving her the time of her life but she will never think of you as a possible boyfriend. Why? Because girls want to be sexually drawn to you to consider you as a mate. If she doesn't see you sexually it's game over.

If you don't care for the guy just dive in. It's a dick move and there are plenty more fish in the sea like her but, meh, you can always go that route. But you have to believe it and go in like a fucking cougar charging a deer. And i mean it. Chicken out for even a second and you are fucked. It's all or nothing pal.


Bottom line? Ask her out like you always do, have fun, try to kiss her (be sexy, dont just try to smash her lips, time it right) and the rest will unfold.

Regret is a possibility, as is losing everything. Be advised.

>>16918056

She's got comfort with him, a safe space at the end of the day, and she doesn't have to worry about how boring he is, because she has you to fill the void.

It could be as simple as sexual attraction, there could be something else that he offers that you don't readily offer... The heart is irrational. I'm not saying it's impossible though, we can't be certain of your situation.

>>16918060

This line of thinking is so fucking retarded that it just pains me every time I read it. Once someone falls into a relationship they're not allowed to discover that there's been another option out there they weren't aware of? They should just wallow in unhappiness in their relationship until someone cheats or there's some cataclysmic event that forces a breakup? It's this kind of mentality that ensures people get old, unhappy, and resentful, because they're so scared of being alone that they just plant their roots and never leave.

Yes, if someone has a pattern of it, or fucks you on the first night you meet, that's probably a good reason to exclude them from your dating pool. But if you've had enough time to form a deeper connection and a stale relationship is in the way? That doesn't mean they'll do it to you.

>>16918056
I know this sounds site...

If she loves him and she's with him, you most likely are friendzoned and you'll be pretty much always second.

>>16918212
if i'm in a relationship and find someone I deem to be "better" I break up with the person i'm with, to pursue this new interest. I don't stay with the person I have, and secretly play the field like some shit head

ggggrrrrooowwww uppppppp


this is how the real world (is supposed) to work

pro-tip: she will do this to you, despite your short sightedness

>>16918235

I'm not OP. different guy. In a perfect world you would immediately know the perfect breaking point to dump someone, but feelings for someone aren't always readily apparent. I dumped my last girlfriend when I developed feelings for a coworker, but it took months for me to realize that they were real feelings, and not just a silly crush I could dismiss if I spent enough time ducking the girl. I never cheated on my girlfriend, and I'm not saying you should go play the field and hunt for an upgrade, but if it presents itself, don't stay unhappy based off of some weird honor system.

>>16918245
>don't stay unhappy based off some weird honor system

so you literally just admitted you were unhappy with your current gf, so instead of working on your relationship, or dumping her admitting you were unhappy you played the field

correct me if i'm wrong

>>16918259

>"last girlfriend"

No, my ex. You must have misread. I was pretty happy with her, but the feelings for the coworker snowballed to a point where I realized the issue couldn't be fixed. But I didn't go out actively pursuing the coworker or other women while I was in the relationship at all.

Hell, I even spent quite a bit of time on this board alone trying to come up with ways to extinguish my feelings for the coworker so my relationship could continue, but that didn't work. Along with the girlfriend gaining weight, the sex becoming bad, and how bored I was with our daily routine, there was no saving it.

>>16918056
Hey op I was in a similar situation over the summer. We started talking and we talked alot and she was so damn flirty, I fell for her hard every thing I was looking for. She's been with her boyfriend for 5 years. (They broke up for like 2 weeks like 2 months prior and she was unsure if it was right) Anyway we talk and semi flirt a little bit and she invites me over one night to watch a movie. We litterally watch movies and wrestle around a bit from 8 to 5 in the morning and I wanted to make a move but I didn't wanna put her in a position that she's a cheater so I kiss her on the cheek. (She knew I liked her prior to this, Im bad about wearing my emotions on my sleeve) so bam I kiss her on the cheek and my face melted we both litterally didn't say anything for 10 seconds (felt like 2 hours) we laugh and wrestle around and flirt more. If I was her boyfriend I would have been pissed if I found out. Her boyfriend didn't even text her good night that night like wtf. Anyways I leave and we talk about it the next day. (Cont.)

>>16918279
I told her that I wanted to kiss her but didn't wanna put her in a bad position she said she is glad I didn't because she would not have been able to resist because she finds me irresistible. She says that we shouldn't hangout alone anymore. So the next day we hangout alone. At my house and we just good off n flirt and wrestle before I had to work. She left to visit her family for a week and when she got back it wasn't the same she barley replied and was distant and we didn't hangout for a month afterwards so I was sitting there freaking out that I had ruined everything which I probably did. Her fucking dumb ass boyfriend lives like 5 hours away fuck you. She was litterally 10/10 blonde wavy hair, blue eyes which are my favorite.outgoing. friend with litterally everyone and the most fun person I've ever met. Damn I should really green text this I didn't think it was going to be this long.
>so I'm flipping out that I ruined everything
>she becomes busy with new job
>I confess and told her I like her
>yeah I know it's obvious
>do you like me too?
>I find you very very attractive but I just don't know you well enough to know if I wanna date you
>we've only been talking for about 5 months
>even this doesn't make things awkward between us because I don't let it
>previously we talked about going to see her favorite band
>it was 3 hours away into the city
> I buy tickets and she has to cancel on me last minute
> she pays me back for her ticket
> says she would have gone with me if she didn't have to cancel even if it wouldn't be a great idea if we went together
> we still hangout a bit and flirting has died down which fucking sucks.
>I pretty much have a mental breaj down in October because I was so stressed about everything
(Cont) (first time green texting so it's probably fucked up)

>>16918275
okay but my point still stands, if your gf gained weight, the sex was bad, and you were bored you should've dumped her for those reasons, became single, and then pursued other women. instead you just decided to stay with her because you were afraid of being single and waited (even unknowingly) for something better to come along

you can't just say you were pretty happy with your ex; oh but she got fat, sex sucked, I was bored etc etc

clearly you weren't happy

>>16918300
>I kind of come to terms that she isn't going to leave her boyfriend for me
>I can't stop talking to her tho
> so I decide I'm going to travel the country.
>I quit my fucking job
>(I didn't I got fired when I left and told them I was going to be gone 2 weeks and they said that was fine but when I told them I'm going to be a day late they fired me but that's a whole nother story)
>I pack my shit
>before I left I stop my her house and she came outside becauseshe knew I was leaving
>I walk up to her and as I'm walking up to her I say I'm sorry
> as soon as I get to her I kiss her
>my face felt like it was going to fall off
>should have done that that night when I had the chance
> I get into my car and left
> this was the beginning of October
> I traveled the country for 3 weeks and slept in my car or crashed at family's
>it was amazing
>she felted me off everything and I did not hear from her until mid december

>>16918308
>I'll wrap it up
>I hope you're over me
>Im not (and told her a bunch of things like reasons why I liked her so much
> she wants to hangout
> we agree to hangout
> when that time came which was a week and a half later she changes her mind
>I just don't feel comfortable hanging out with you, not after everything that has been said.
>ok
That's pretty much it. Fucking sucks but it's whatever. OP jus play it cool as soon as you start losing it you lose any chance with her like I did. Also make sure she know you like her it helps. And the boyfriend thing plays such a huge factor. It's bull crap whenever someone is in a relationship they think it's everything. I broke up with a girl I was with for 3 years and a month later it didn't matter at all. When we were together it did tho any girl who tried to get with me got curved because I had a girlfriend and that ment everything to be but it really didn't. Because I don't care now so I was just convinced it was, so if a more suitable partner came to me I would have rejected them. Girls do that too

>>16918302
It's not your fault, since you don't have an accurate timeline of my relationship, but the weight gain and bad sex all kind of came on really quickly. The bad sex and boredom didn't really manifest themselves until things were well underway with the coworker, who is basically the reason I realized my girlfriend was getting fatter, the sex was bad and I was bored.

Suddenly I had a point of comparison, realized my girlfriend was eating like six square meals a day, didn't dress attractively at all, and had stopped going to yoga. I'd come home after a day of laughing and telling stories with my coworker, to a girlfriend who immediately wanted to go to dinner when she got off work, we'd eat, and then we'd go sit in my bed and watch Netflix. Don't get me wrong. I like Netflix. But I like it even more when I can pick what I watch and I haven't watched Netflix six nights in a row with one night seeing my buddies all week to break it all up. Then our episode or two would end and she'd work my dick to hardness and then smother me with her tits until I couldn't breathe and they were sweaty and smelled like body odor. She'd love the sex, or at least pretend, but I know I was just trying to get it over with. It made it real easy to look forward to 9 am each weekday where I'd spend all day with a girl who made the angels sing.

But all of that shit happened in a span of like... 6 weeks, maybe two months. I didn't let it drag on, and I didn't pursue other women. It was just the one, who I had to be with every day no matter what.

>>16918339
my last relationship fell into that shitty hole as well. I had feelings for another girl and my girlfriend and I would just watch TV do nothing and yell at me over dumb shit. Like we would fuck once a week and I would get a text saying OH IS THAT ALL YOU'RE USING ME FOR FUCK YOU. Bitch we've been together 3 years that's not the only reason.. I fell for the other girl because it was always an amazing time. I felt rely bad and I'm not a cheater or anything so I'm not going to actively pursue another girl while still with her so I broke it off.