Thread replies: 2
Thread images: 1
Thread images: 1
File: images.jpg (11KB, 244x207px) Image search:
[Google]
11KB, 244x207px
Hi I'm a guy. An "incel" guy. Like everyone else I just want to be loved by someone I can love back. Well, I'm going to be 22 soon and have NO relationship experience. Being a virgin doesn't bother me, I don't want a relationship for sex, what I need is monogamous love. Out of desperation I posted myself online, here and at lookism, for ratings to get an idea where I stood. The consensus is I look slightly better than average (yay?) but I look like a girl. Well my body stopped developing at 14 so I've always known I have a very boyish body. It looks the same as when I was 15 even tho I try hard to bulk up, people think I look under-age-b&. but I was surprised to hear my face look a like a girl. I thought I had a manly face but never gave it much thought. And I see it now, I lack masculine development not only in my body, but my face as well. Ever since I was told I look like a girl (independently on both sites) I haven't been able to look at myself the same way. It explained so much, like why I'm treated "softly" or "special" by others irl, like a child or disabled. People don't see me as a man. Ever since then I get depressed when I see myself now. I get depressed thinking about my looks and what other people see when they look at me. A weak pathetic specimen of a male.
I'm feeling like I have 2 ways to proceed. Embrace my femininity or do everything I can to be manly. I must have low androgen levels so I would need expensive hormone/steroids and surgeries to be the man I'm supposed to be.
Tbc...
>>
If I embrace my weakness I will never get a woman or it will be hard and I'll end up "cucked" because I can't provide what a woman seeks (although I do have a big dik). Women want an active man who can protect them, lead, get stuff done, etc. I would have to be with a guy who likes me. Well I could probably be happy in a relationship with a man (I'm bi but prefer women), but a gay relationship is so foreign and I couldn't handle the stigmas. I was raised by conservative Christians and I hold those traditional values myself. I want to fill the role of man of the house, have a family, etc.
So I'm leaning toward working to be more manly. This will take A LOT of money, time, and effort. I'd be more content with myself fulfilling the traditional roles of a man. I'd make myself and my family proud and wouldn't be ashamed of myself in public. My worry is it will all be in vain. As my dad has aged he has become less manly and more of a weak, insecure, "cuck" type. I feel like that's his true self and he used to just try to hide it. What if in spite of all my efforts, being a feminine beta male is just what I'm meant to be? Then I would be best off working toward embracing it, and instead of wasting my time trying to become the man I was never meant to be, I could redirect those fruitless efforts to more meaningful pursuits.
This whole conundrum may seem silly but it's a very serious, life-changing decision. Do I try to "be myself" even if that means no women will ever love me? Or is it impossible to change who I am anyway?
Thread posts: 2
Thread images: 1
Thread images: 1