"Lower your standards": anyone just said fuck it and

I've never lowered my standards, not because I feel like I'm better than anyone else but because I'd rather have the right people in my life over just people so I'm not lonely.

Maybe that's just me, I'm not shitting over you lowering your standards are anything, just saying what I think

>>16912874
>So why don't people do this?

Because then instead of being full of "why am I single?" threads, /adv/ would be full of "why does my relationship suck and why am I miserable?" threads.

>>16912895
Would you be miserable though? You'd be with someone who loved you, even if they were ugly and had annoying habits. Kinda like family lol

>>16912882
Yeah a good friend of mine says sometimes you'll just have to embrace being alone until you find the right people and find a joy in that, even if the right people never come. It's good to make a lot of friends for down the road, anon, but don't lower your standards to get these guys to be your "close friends" if you truly don't feel much affection towards them and think they are irritating all the time.

>>16912913
Your friend seems like a good person, they worded it much better than I did anyway

>>16912910
Yes you would, they may be slobbering over themselves for attention and your love, but they bore you. it will only get worse over time. Lowering your standards generally means youll end up very unhappy. worse than right now because you'll just waste time. I recommend keeping your hopes up and maybe fucking some loser with protection on the side

different anon

Can't fight biology.

>>16912874
I can't aim low cause there is nothing lower to aim at where I live.

I'm not even joking. Everyone 6/10 or lower are in relationships. There rest look 7+/10.

>>16912913
Adding on to this, I've been in your shoes, OP. I've tried to hang out, and even date people who were not really my type but I hung out with them anyways because I needed friends at the time, and it didn't work out at all. I went out with this one girl who was a bit shy and found out we were two completely different people who needed completely different things in a relationship, and that being together wasn't enough to sustain a particularly healthy relationship. The same could be said about friends, which I've been through as well. With that being said, knowing more people can help in the long run in case you need help with things or you want to get to know some people who have mutual friends.

I don't need "love" and someone else's attention enough to spend time with someone I don't enjoy or find attractive.

Shitty companionship is a waste of my time and life.

I just want a cute gf, not a hot one, not a sexy one, not a good looking but just a cute one.

I actually went out with one but she was a right bitch.

>girl can't be lonely just lower your standards you slut
>no bro don't lower your standards it'll make you more unhappy

>>16913188
Please don't derail the thread.

>>16912874
>If the girls on here just hit up short fat NEETs and the guys just hit up fat drug taking moms by tomorrow there would be no single people on /adv/.
>So why don't people do this? What do you think, is it worth it? I live in a really trashy side of town and if I just kept aiming lower and lower I wouldn't be alone anymore.

Because no relationship is better than a bad one.
No one is going to have the SO of their dreams, but if you find yourself trying to hook up with people that repulse you, you really need to step back and find some self-sufficiency because that road does not lead anywhere anyone wants to be.

I've removed so many "friends" from my life because they were idiots, it's ridiculous. I have like 3 or 4 friends, not very close, but more than acquaintances. I'd rather be alone than invest in something that doesn't give me anything in return.

As for women, I'm a 23 year old kissless virgin who has been on 2 dates, mainly because I just can't wrap my head around the concept of doing a metaphorical social handstand to get someone to like me for something that takes me a lot of effort to be. I'm fairly good looking (according to girls that aren't my mom), educated, healthy, wealthy enough and not completely socially retarded, I just don't see a partner as some kind of holy grail. Nobody understands why I'm not dating at all. I don't understand how this is so important.

>>16913243
Well that's really what he's getting at, I think. I can empathize with him a lot, these days I usually follow my coworkers to a bar on Friday even though I don't like them and don't like drinking: like he said at least it's company.

I'd take a fat ugly girl if I could get one but even they reject me. how is anything worse than being alone? You've never called someone you don't even like, just for human contact?

I don't see how it would be bad, something is better than nothing

>>16912923
Finding someone to fulfill high standards is quite similar to lowering them and finding someone that way

You know the saying, 'all that glitters is not golden'

>>16913196
She's right you know

It's very weird to me that after constantly seeing "lower your standards" around here now everyone's telling me not to. I'm ugly and creepy and hot girls don't like me, so what the hell? I have this 250 girl that texts me good night and shit and I could have that instantly.

>>16913594
>I've removed so many "friends" from my life because they were idiots ... I'd rather be alone than invest in something that doesn't give me anything in return.
Well I feel I am getting something in return. Yeah these guys are idiots who just want to drink beer and play xbox but at least I have someone to talk to. Usually when we hang out I'm not even playing because I don't like games, I just want to vent about work or whatever, sometimes they'll find something I actually like on netflix. You know? Of course I want to say I'm a man of high intellect and sophistication but no I'm fucking not and my ramblings are probably just as asinine to them and they sound to me when they talk about chemtrails or whatever.

Which was my point - couldn't the same be true for dating? Guys already settle anyway, no one wants to sit through a romcom or listen to her cry about how her dad didn't love her but they all do it anyway. A fat girl with pink hair is still better than NOT getting my dick sucked, right? Which is where I am right now.

>>16912874
I have.
It sucks because I've always had low standards, but I have gotten better and better as a person so I HATE when people say things like "why are you dating that loser? You could do so much better."

I've had people approach me and hit on me and I'd say "I'm sorry- I'm spending time with my BOYFRIEND right now" and they'd literally be like "what is wrong with you he is at below your league"

Like that made me feel insecure, but I could get over that because I knew he was a quality guy.

The issue started when the insecurity started to get to HIM. He'd take out that insecurity and anger on me like "well why don't you just go date one of those guys then??" And he thought that any time I didn't want to have sex because I had a long day or something was because I didn't love him or because I was unsatisfied (not true). In the end I think that insecurity is what drove us apart. The anger and blame and insecurity totally overshadowed the person he was when we met

>>16913909
Did you enjoy the sex even though he was not attractive?
It sounds like you wish the relationship didn't end. So you were having a good time and didn't mind his "low value"?

>>16912874
I have no social life but also I always think my standards are too high. I don't want to lower them either. I also sometimes feel like I don't meet the high standards I've put for others in my mind. When this happens I always try to improve in that aspect. Then I find another defect and I move to that one. I've been doing this for years. My social contact is very reduced. I don't actively avoid people, but if they extend themselves too much when they talk I try to cut it short. I fantasize of finding the ideal profile I've created in my head, knowing fully well that it's impossible, and yet everytime I think about it, I feel I'm not good enough should that person appear, so I have to keep improving. The possibility is low, but it drives me and has never failed me. I posted about this once, I was told I'd realize one day that all of it is futile. I already did, in fact I had already done back then, but I feel this realization only fuels me and compels me to continue. I don't understand myself, but I'm happy this way, so I stopped questioning it.

>>16913900
>Guys already settle anyway, no one wants to sit through a romcom or listen to her cry about how her dad didn't love her but they all do it anyway
I don't, I couldn't.
>A fat girl with pink hair is still better than NOT getting my dick sucked, right?
Wrong, my right hand is very proficient, realistically, no girl could ever compare. What's so important about getting your dick sucked? There's so very much more to life than getting your dick wet.

>>16913243
If we purely concentrate on looks and lowered standards on just that, then I guess, more than a few anons wouldn't be alone.

>>16912874
>I live in a really trashy side of town
Because you shouldn't be reproducing..

>>16913878
It's retarded female logic.
Females already have higher standards than men these days with the amount of attention and choice they get online. If you ever get in the crosshairs of one of these women you'll realise how pathetic they actually are. They act like 9/10's online and their selective profile picturing makes them look kinda hot. But when the veil is lifted they are mostly cringy betas who can't filter their inboxed worth a shit, and wouldn't know what qualities a good person actually possesses. Yeah okay, I'm generalising, not all women are like this but there's a large populated subset that is.
Meanwhile 7+/10 guy betas have to swim and climb over all the other beta cocks to even get noticed by a 6/10 chick.
So yeah, 9/10 chicks need to drop their standards cause they aren't really 9/10.

>>16912874
I have always believed in giving everyone a fair go. So I'd engage with a variety of girls ranging from stunning to frumpy.

The attention of high value girls was difficult to get and harder to keep because they've got guys fawning over them and they're really only interested in top tier men. So they're selective but I'm lucky enough to cut it with best in looks, body and money (essential). Once landed and bedded they usually become tiresome and too much work to bother with. They're easy to dump and move on because they'll be with someone else in a few days.

The lower I went the easier it became to land the catch. Much less stressful overall and the sex was just as good and usually better. The problem is with dumping them after. Too clingy and insecure. I got tired of the dramatics every time I wanted someone new.

So I targeted the middle-upper. Stable, usually not princess behaviour prone, not insecure, self aware but not arrogant.

So these days I leave the top girls for the self obsessed gym rat and stock broker type. The bottom tier girls for the neck beard white knights to tip to and I play the middle field. Never looked back.

In my experience a lot of young guys are attracted to girls they have no real interest in just because they are somewhat attractive and available.

So many 19-year-olds endlessly bitch about their gfs and I can never figure out why they are dating people they clearly don't like at all.

I seriously doubt the reason most of you are single isn't because you're refusing to date ugly women. The implication there being ugly women are somehow tripping over themselves to date you in the first place.

Just put in effort with girls who you like and with whom you could have a good relationship.

I don't even really get the basic mindset because I've never been in a position where I was like "Oh God, I really love this girl but she is just too pretty, interesting and smart for me."

For me to really have a crush on someone they needed to show an interest in me somehow and I need to be able to imagine a scenario where we are together. If I couldn't then she's just wanking material.

>>16914503
Damn it, it's being derailed.

because youre never supposed to settle for less.

my 7/10 looks and 10/10 sociopath personality lands me whoever i want lol

>>16913927
Yeah- I enjoyed the relationship.
It was good before he got insanely paranoid and jealous. If he had been able to brush it off and focus on how in to him I was, we'd still be dating

>>16912874
>But childish, boring, irritating friends are better than no friends at all

lol noob

I wish there was a dating site where you could post your mind. I have this crush I've had for 10 years. She's not very physically attractive but she's likely among the best people in the country. I just can't work up the courage. I haven't had contact for 10 years only the first 4 or so but I'd have to find some nice way of contacting her.

Not sure what lowering standards would mean.

>>16914650
Are you me? That's literally the story of my life, down to the exact amount of years.

>>16914713
A-are you a girl? Are you her? Pls be.
I don't think this is very rare. I mean were talking years here. It's not very granular and everything I'm expressing isn't very specific. If I described her as a math girl that plays the flute and etc etc. That'd be amazing.

>>16914746
I'm sorry anon, I'm not her.

>>16914777
Damn. Well, best of luck with your soul mate you can't talk to.

>>16914782
Oh, I can talk to her, if I have my running shoes on I can knock on her door in less than a minute, starting the car and parking it would take longer literally. I choose not to because things ended kind of rough due to me being a massive dickhead and her being in a relationship for years.

It's not that it didn't work out because I didn't make a move, it didn't work out because I resisted her making clear as day advances, several times.

She's the love of my life and I may have been hers, but I ruined it and I don't know why. I know how, but not why.It's been tearing my heart apart ever since and I still dream of her every other night, after 6 years.