Hey /adv/ i feel like a huge pile of shit. I treat everyone i

First of all, if you're truly sorry for your behavior, killing yourself is simply adding more selfishness to the equation. Do you honestly think that you family and friends would want to see you dead? I can guarantee you, they would not.

So, instead of whining, actually try and make the change you want to see. You obviously seem aware of your transgressions and shortcomings, so make amends the best you can.
No, nobody expects you to solve things overnight, that is not realistic. Showing you are sorry can take months, years even, depending on how badly you fucked up. But, trust me, showing that you have the will to make things right again will be clear to those you wronged, and, with time, they may so choose to forgive you.
The important thing to note here is that they do not owe you forgiveness. All you can do is try and make things better, and hope you will earn their respect and love again. It's a process of healing involving not just those you wronged, but yourself as well.

He didnt by any chance say "dont talk to me or my son ever again" ?

>>16897402
Thanks man. Yeah i can see why that is selfish. I'm just an asshole. It just never ends. I realize the after i make everything shit