Hi /adv/ !
So i have this problem since i'm a kid, i'm currently 19 and as the title says, i just don't know how to be nice. Well in appearance, at least.
The thing is i AM a nice person i believe, i have a lot of empathy for everyone, and i have never felt hate for anyone, even people i don't really like, i have an infinite love for my friends.
But the thing is, i have this kind of bitter attitude most of the time, i like throwing cutting remarks to people humorously to my friends but also to people i don't know much, it's always humor but i realized most people don't get it until they get to know me. I have a lot of friends, but they all agree that it was hard to get along with me in the beginning.
I'm basically Chandler from Friends, sounds silly but that's probably the best comparison you could make.
This morning one of my friends said "Why aren't you just being nice for once ?" and it lowkey made me feel really bad about myself, even if my friends know i can be a very nice person they still think i'm mean most of the time, even if it's in a friendly way. There's also another friend that i'm not too close with, and the other day when we had a bit of an argument he told me that i was just an arrogant prick. That also made me feel really bad, because i'm the opposite of arrogant in reality, in fact i have a lot of insecurities and if i act like that it's because i feel inferior to everyone. Sounds silly but it's true
(1/2)
But the thing is i don't know how to correct that, because even if i know my friends love me as i am, i know i can be really annoying sometimes, and i really don't want to. It's just my humor, i try to control it but it always comes back. And i figured out i don't even really know how to be nice, and that's probably because i've always considered people that are just "nice" as boring, and i don't feel like coming up to people and being nothing but nice because i'm scared that they'll think i'm seeking for attention and that i need to be accepted.
I need to know how to deal with this, because it's fucking up with my social life even if i always manage to meet great people, i realized i don't get respect because people believe i don't respect them. I try very hard to stop behaving like a prick but it always comes back.
(2/2)
you are not polite
if you can present it with some humour ppl will still like you
you have to forget fake ppl who always smile and talk bullshit though, they cannot understand you