How do you stop hating yourself for being attracted to men?
I'm 25, always considered myself bisexual, but I have since a teen felt a very strong attraction to men. It's hard for me to say whether I'm more attracted to men or women, my preferences fluctuate with time. I've had sex with women in the past, but at the same time avoided sex with men because even though I've chatted with hundreds of guys online, had near gay sex experiences in real life and been masturbating to gay fantasies/porn since a teen, I still feel deeply ashamed of my attraction to men. I know my parents and family make fun of homos and would make fun of me for being attracted to men.
I'm not even attracted to the girly boys, generally feminine men disgust me regardless of their orientation. It's the highly masculine, older, rugged, physically fit kind of men I am attracted to. Big buff guys with crew cuts, deep voices, long muscular legs and large feet drive me crazy, I admit sometimes I've even gotten flustered around men like that. I have a rather long list of Hollywood actors I've had sexual fantasies about, a few pro athletes too. There's something about highly masculine men that make me very sexually aroused. Some of the guys I've chatted to online were fit, tall handsome men in my area I felt extremely attracted to (some even sent me pictures of their large cocks, which I admit drove me crazy as well since I'm a hung man myself and always wanted to rub cocks with another fit, hung man), but chickened out of seeing due to my fear of gay dating/sex. Still, I felt thrilled that men like that even found me interesting. Sometimes I imagine if my life would be happier if I was dating some handsome guy.
I have only kissed men a few times but I did enjoy it with the handsome ones. I am not a full on gay, I feel like if I dated a man and wanted to date a woman later people would think I'm weird or girls would wonder why I didn't feel like talking about my ex (of the opposite sex).
help?
>>16852504
>I am not a full on gay
>literally everything in your post
Choose 1. Do you live in an anti-homosexual place or something? You could move if it's such a big part of who you are.
Hard to say how you're gonna stop hating yourself without knowing what the issue is. When you grew up did people actively tell you that being gay is immoral/wrong/sinful? Or is this your own development where you've, for some reason, decided you don't like being gay?
Frankly I think all this will pass when you get some dick in you from someone you like.
>>16852518
I have periods where I'll only date girls, only jerk off to straight porn, etc. Believe me, eating pussy is always enjoyable for me and I've had nothing but good sex with women in the past. Sometimes though, I wonder what sucking a man's dick would be like, or kissing a man, or grabbing a buff man's ass like you would a tiny girl's. sexuality is weird, you know?
>>16852527
my older brothers are all pretty massively homophobic, I live in a pretty gay friendly area but my family in particular showed disdain for homosexuality.
Look in the mirror. Confess your problem to yourself. Then laugh. As hard as you can, pointing at your reflection, making fun of yourself, laughing at yourself. it's a method I use when I have troubles.
Well, have you tried sucking a lot of cock in order to establish if you're gay? You can never be sure!
And you don't have to hate yourself. Check yourself (for AIDS) before you break yourself.
>>16852534
Don't do this OP
>>16852534
>>16852551
yeah this sounded pretty lame
>>16852551
It's a very pure release. You have no power here
>>16852556
the only pure release op needs is a big thick cock up his ass
You'd probably have to break if off with your family if they're super homophobic. Move across the country.
Be secretly gay a while perhaps?
>>16852527
>>16852518
>>16852616
i don't think they'd disown me. I mean, I don't live with them anymore. But they would make fun of me and probably exclude me
>>16852639
maybe