After putting pressure on my boyfriend about why we don't

>>16619720
bondage him

>>16619724
He's not into it.
Previously, I tried everything I could to get more sexual with him. Nothing works.

>>16619720
Cuckold him.

Either it will make him happy, or serve him right.

Does he have a fetish? Some people are aroused by fetishes more than people and are incapable of being aroused without their fetish. Especially if he looks only at porn with his fetish of choice.

My advice? Pavlovessel dogs! Pavlov got dogs to drool by ringing a bell because they heard a bell every time hey were given food.

Ask him if you can join him when he looks at porn. Act like you are really into it and be all over him. He will associate arousal with you.
Look up info on psychology if you need a better guide.

Personally, while that might work, it would make me sad I had to train my boyfriend to be aroused by me. The best option I think is you should leave him and stay friends. You deserve someone who loves you mind AND body.

But if you love him deeply and he loves you tremendously, work together and try to get him to associate you with arousal. Seek a sex therapist if you would like professional help.

>>16619737
Well you say everything, you could go through what you've tried people could find his fetish you haven't said.

but if it comes down to that he just doesn't want to fuck you, you need to make a choice, life is all about choices and decisions and consequences, no other way to look at it, you need to accept it, ignore it and accept being and
accept being an idiot, or be ignorant.


1. Do you want to be with him enough to not care about sex? y/n

y: well accept less than usual sex
n: Cheat on him or leave him

Cheat: Accept you'll hurt him if he finds out and it's a selfish choice you you'll make by trying to avoid any consequence, however best scenario he never finds out, you stay with him for love and you get a good dicking on the side.

Leave: Accept you'll hurt him but it's probably for the best for both of you.

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>>16619738
I don't want to hurt him.

>>16619755
>Does he have a fetish?

If he does, he won't tell me. I am open to talking about it, he is not. He insists he has no fetishes and from what I can see in his porn history, he only watches very normal porn. No kink at all...

I have asked if we can watch porn together and he tells me no because it's a private moment.

>1. Do you want to be with him enough to not care about sex? y/n

No.

I know it will hurt him but it is best for both of us. I am a sexually healthy person and want a healthy relationship. This, in my opinion.. is not healthy.

Bump for advice.

Is there any other option than breaking up?

He saw a sexual therapist for months and it didn't help.

>>16620638

Honestly, no. If sexual therapy didn't work, probably nothing else will. Dump him.

Question. Have you ever cheated on him? Just wondering, not going to judge you.

>>16620662
Nope never and I won't.

I stopped speaking to all my male friends because it makes my boyfriend feel insecure. The only time I see them or go out with them is if he is with me.

>>16620689
He sounds like a real piece of work. This is another giant red flag telling you to leave him if you haven't already decided to do so.

>>16620704
I don't mind not speaking to those guys anyway. We weren't very good friends and more acquaintances from previous jobs etc

My main issue is this whole sexually attractive thing.

Do you really want to stay in a sexless relationship and feel so unattractive for the rest of your life? he'll probably cheat on you at one point anyway or want to do it.

Regardless of that, stop wasting your time and move on to somebody who wants you.

How long have you been together? dump him before you waste any more time.

>>16619720

He probably see you as a Disney princess

some time ago when i was so in love with a girl that i thought she was the most perfect creature on earth, but i couldn't just see her in a sexual manner, some platonic shit, i don't know, i just wanted to love her and take care of her, but didn't have any sexual desire for her, its like she was too much perfect to be fucked, i had to break up with her because i knew it wouldn't work, hurts like hell but it was for the best of both, you should do the same.

>>16620704

Regardless of whether those guys sucked or not, you should recognize that his insecurity and his demand that you stop having male friends is a big giant warning sign of an abusive relationship. Even if you don't want any male friends, he should never demand it of you. I'm not saying it is, but you are making the case for leaving this guy stronger and stronger.

You deserve a partner who is GGG (look it up), and who is secure enough to accept that you might have male friends. This guy is simply not prepared for a relationship. You carrying water for him is not going to help the matter. He's not in touch with his sexuality, he's probably depressed as fuck too, and you can't help him.

Repeat that to yourself. You can't help him.

Break up with him. Gently, but firmly. Tell us you are willing to break up with him, OP.

I'm in the exact same situation as your guy. I told the same shit to my gf and the truth is I'm just waiting for her to dump me.
Can't do it myself because she's mentally unstable and will kill herself if I leave her.

My advice: Tell him you're leaving him unless he'll do something about it. If he doesn't want to change enough to bone you, it will never work.

>>16620729 is right.

Does he have erectile dysfunction? Any penis problems?

>>16619720
This happens in relationships.
I went through it when my GF and I moved in together. We'd been dating for about a year at that point.

We don't have that problem anymore.

It's just a phase and it'll pass. Don't give him an ultimatum or anything that these anon's are suggesting.

If you live together, make an effort to be naked less often. I know it sounds weird, but it's easy to get desensitized to nudity if you see your GF naked all the time. That was part of the problem I had, I think.

>>16620729
Do you really think he would cheat? I don't think he will, I think he is just complicated.

>>16620738
3 years in January.

>>16620755
Hm I doubt this is the case.

>>16620800
>Tell us you are willing to break up with him, OP.
I know that everything you are telling me is correct. I know what you say is true but I don't fall in love easily and I did with him. Our relationship is perfect if not for this issue.
I am having doubts and so I came here to iron it out and come to a conclusion.

>>16620818
Well I certainly wouldn't kill myself and I did tell him that it's best if we stay friends. He refused a break up and said he could never be just my friend.

>>16620829
Not at all. At the start we would have sex daily and I guess the novelty wore off. Our lives are changing with him working full time again, maybe that contributes to it slightly as well.

>>16620850
It also happened to me with my ex and after 3 years nothing changed and appearantly it was my fault for not putting nail polish or some shitty excuse, while he made no effort other than playing fucking LoL. I broke up with him. Meh, each case is different, I suppose.

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>>16620850
We don't live together and the times where I have worn less in private, it seems to repel him even more lol (that's so embarrassing to type)

I did notice he likes very slutty type of girls. Girls that are like pic related. I am a bit modest, maybe that's why?

>>16620870
Refused the break up? You can`t be serious, this isn`t a two-sided agreement.

>>16620890
>has a bimbo fetish
>watching normal porn
Seeing a trend in his history now?
Just keep looking and prodding at his possible intrests. Relationships are a two way street. You either both have to work towards your goals or ya'll need to cut the shit and split.

>>16619859
>watching porn is a private moment
>yet sex is less private to him
Does not add up

>>16621004
Well, you tend to jerk off alone and have sex with people on this planet.
Maybe he's got narcissistic personality disorder?

Post pics of yourself so we can see

He probably watches too much porn and jacks off to much.

Porn kills love. Tell him to save his sexual energy for you or you're leaving.

Five days without ejaculating will make a man get hard for a horse's ass. Not saying you're ugly, you're probably very pretty, but you know what I mean. When a man is loaded with sexual energy, he sees his woman in an extremely erotic way.

>>16621092
>He probably watches too much porn and jacks off to much.
This was my thought too. Though, my personal feeling is to save ultimatums for an absolute last resort.

If you don't want to break up and he doesn't want to break up, then maybe it's fixable. See if he will go with you to couples counseling. They can help you get to the bottom of what's going on and help you figure out if you should work on the relationship or call it quits. If he has a porn problem, it should get brought up fairly quickly, and if it doesn't, you should bring it up.

If that doesn't work, then it's probably either ultimatum time or breakup time. If you resort to an ultimatum, maybe offer to change some behaviour that he has a pet peeve about or something, so he doesn't feel like he's stuck with the entire burden of making the relationship work.

Well, at least part of his problem is that he has a porn addiction, I can tell you that much.

Also, whenever people day "everything is perfect...", that's when you know it isn't. Think harder - what are or were points of contention in the relationship? Just because they don't come up anymore or because no one says anything doesn't mean that these problems are resolved or gone - it just means that they're hidden and repressed. Is it something about you? Something that's affecting him personally? Is it something between you two?

It's not just within the relationship either - could there be singing about family or work that's eating away at something?