This is a bit of a weird subject. But I am asking for some help.

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This is a bit of a weird subject. But I am asking for some help. I don't know how much I can freak out over this. I just want it to end and don't know what to do.

>was molested as a child, around 9 y/o
>was given sleeping pills by mother's ex when i spent the night at his house with my mom
>passed out on couch
>dazed, woke up to him penetrating me with his fingers
>tried to fight but felt literally drunk, attempted moving limbs and they just flopped around
>tried not to pass out again, but couldn't help it
>dont know when it began or when it stopped

So I browse /b/ occasionally since teen years. I was browsing late at night, was scrolling, and fell upon a dreaded cp thread. One of the pictures in the post (I didn't click in the thread, but you know you can see a few replies on the main page).. Same couch. I remember the pants I was wearing, the shirt I was wearing. Obviously recognized my own face. There was tile and rug on the floor, same as his living room. And it was the same position I was molested in. I caught a glimpse and just opened the image, stared for a couple of seconds, before gagging and tearing up and just shutting down my computer. I knew that child in the photo was me.

I fell upon the image a couple of years ago. But I occasionally get reminded of it and it bothers me to no end. I seriously feel like I can't talk about this to anyone. I don't even know where to begin. I can't bring justice to my abuser anymore. I tried a few times when I was around 18, but complicated family issues (my mom didn't believe me, said she took her ex's side and wouldn't stand up for me if it went to court) forced me to stop. I'm passed the statute of limitations in my state to report

What do I do? I just have to accept the thought that what happened to me is shared on the internet?