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alright guys I need some serious help I have a few friends

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alright guys I need some serious help

I have a few friends who constantly tease me for being attractive and not having a girlfriend

I've also overheard some people talking about me and how I was hot

anyway, as attractive as I may or may not be, I still can't maintain a conversation with anyone, let alone girls

I envy others who effortlessly talk to other friends and girls and it just pisses me the fuck off

is there anything I can do to become more interesting and be able to talk someone for more than a few seconds, or am I doomed to be autist for the rest of my life

like I don't understand, apparently I'm attractive, as this has even been proved through "hook up" apps, but for some reason in person I just don't know how to act "popular" and nobody wants to talk to me because my personality is so fucking stale

like seriously I fucking hate looking over at some people and they're laughing away talking about the next party they're having and how many girls they've hooked up with and shit

seriously I'm probably going to kill myself

//vent
>>
Post picture. And talk to some girls online to get more comfortable with it. Practice is really all you can do. Fake it till you make it etc.
>>
>>16568842
my point is, I can't

I've literally tried faking this "confidence" shit, but people just fucking act like I'm retarded

I used to be A LOT more outgoing when I was younger, but constant teasing and narcissistic parents have made me pretty closed down

I want to fix this but idk how
>>
Start doing things that will boost your self esteem/ confidence like working out regularly and listening to hip hop music.
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>>16568850
>constant teasing and narcissistic parents

Is it an anxiety? There are therapies for that.
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>>16568850
Have a skype? I'll talk to you.
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>>16568859
I already do one of those things

>>16568869
not interested in seeing your cock desu

>>16568860
I don't think it's anxiety, I'm never nervous I think, but especially with girls, my mind just goes blank and I turn into a literal retard
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>>16568882
That's good because I don't have one (:
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>>16568884
if I muster up the courage to talk to you ill let you know :)
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>>16568892
Okie dokie just offering so you can practice! And I'm bored.
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>>16568882
Well, social anxiety / social phobia is basically shyness that's way too strong or impossible to overcome. Your description isn't too detailed, so I don't really know if that applies to you, but it does sound like that a bit to me.

Besides therapy, what might help you - it's just an idea - is to get a female friend (as in non-romantic), like a female bro. One of those girls that is cool talking to dudes and doesn't assume you wanna pick her up just because you talk to her. That might help you get started talking to girls.
>>
Uhh I don't know who's OP anymore...
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>>16568899

>female bro

except I can't talk to the opposite sex period

since I wasn't too specific I should say I'm not socially autistic to the point where I can't talk to people, but making friends, especially new ones, is literally impossible for me

I remember going on soccer tournaments and my team was staying at a hotel, and whenever there were either new guys or girls we encounted my teammates seemed to befriend them with ease while I just stood in the back wondering 'how the fuck do I do that'
>>
>>16568909
not impossible a girl just offered >>16568869
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>>16568909

> except I can't talk to the opposite sex period

Okay, you mentioned "mustering up courage", which indicates you're scared something might happend while you try to talk to a girl. What is it exactly that might go wrong? What's your worst-case scenario?
>>
>>16568832
You're seeing the world in a view narrowed only onto humanity. You are worried about social status and attaining a relationship. Those are all manmade concepts that are binding you and holding you back. The world can become anything you want it to be. Your life can be whatever you make it. Don't let your mind get stuck in words and concepts.

Let yourself be free and do what you want. If what you want to do is talk then you will talk. If you want a gf you will get a gf. If you do what you want then you will be interested in what you do, and when talking about it, others will be interested.
>>
>>16568927
>>>16568909
>
>> except I can't talk to the
> opposite sex period
>
> Okay, you mentioned "mustering
> up courage", which indicates
> you're scared something might
> happend while you try to talk
> to a girl. What is it exactly
> that might go wrong? What's your
> worst-case scenario?
well like I mentioned before, I go blank when trying to talk to a girl, and even guys

I'd also rather not make a fool of myself trying to talk to girls so I avoid them in general

worst case scenario my mind goes blank and another person thinks I'm retarded
>>
>>16568940
>worst case scenario my mind goes blank and another person thinks I'm retarded

Okay. You fear you'll be perceived as retarded, which makes you scared, which makes you communicate bad, which makes you look retarded, thus reinforcing the fear. Classic anxiety loop, IMHO.

The key is to figure out where you acquired the fear of being perceived as retarded in the first place. It's not beacuse of your inability to talk to girls (or some guys), that's the consequence.
>>
>>16568940
all you can do is practice

if it doesn't go well you'll be no worse off than you already are
>>
>>16568949

well then what's your solution to this lad
>>
>>16568832
You're me OP, we're fucked.
>>
>>16568940
They probably don't think you're retarded. They probably think you are shy. If they treat you different it's probably because they think you're scared and want to be left alone
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>>16568955
I have no idea, depends on the source of the fear. But the answer would probably be finding a good therapist. I know it's a kind of chlicheed go-to answer, but IMO the best in the long term.
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>>16568958

this makes me feel bad
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>>16568966

do therapists really work?
I always kind of assumed they're just doing pseudo scores science bull crap
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>>16568975
>do therapists really work?
I sure hope so.

I'm in a therapy of anxiety myself currently and so far it has been helping me quite a lot, my therapist is very good, but he's actually the fourth one I've come to. The previous ones where either bad or good, but didn't specialized in problems that weren't applicable to me very much.
>>
Okay, so here's how I see your problem...(pic very related)
There is no such thing as alpha male or popular or whatever. The only thing that makes someone more popular or conversationally appealing is whether or not they are being who they are. If you are naturally shy, don't try to be a conversationalist, that's why people think you seem retarded because you look too uncomfortable. Just be a listener. Most woman just want to be able to talk to a guy and not have them make it about them. You could be a huge hit just being attractive and a good listener. Use your strengths and use your weaknesses as strengths.
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>>16569039

except I've gotten no where, especially with girls just sitting there and "listening"

I noticed a lot of the girls I seem to be interested in, typically go for outgoing guys, unlike me
>>
>>16569058
Ahh so you do talk to girls you just are nervous around ones you like. Pft that's pretty normal.

I'll be honest outgoing and confident guys are more attractive. But if you just refuse to even try why even ask for advice?
>>
>>16568832
1. If you have "friends" who mock you constantly for some meaningless shit, they are not your friend.
2. After dating 3 times, I realize girls are waste of time, money, and effort. Unless you want to marry her that is.
3. If you are boring, enjoy that trait. Use that to read books, travel, make music, etc. Do not try to to be what you are not, only try to improve on what you already are.
4. Nobody is boring. If you still think you are, go try something you haven't done in your life, like skydiving, bungee diving, gliding, etc. Soon you will discover that you are not boring, the world around you is boring and you haven't broken the wall to the world outside.
5. Nobody talked to a girl effortlessly the first time. It's an experi nice, not a trait.
6. Get a job outside of office or cubicle. Interesting shit happens and life won't be boring anymore.
7. You could alway join the military, be ripped, rich, get free education, gun, experience, best friends, and memories.
8. Good luck.
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>>16569084

"yeah just be outgoing and confident, it's EZ, just be yourself"

thanks for the advice
>>
>>16569087

I like how you claim someone could just 'have' these things

>just BE rich
>just HAVE fun

still can't maintain friendships with others, but FUCK that if I join the army amirite
>>
>>16569160
That's not what I said at all...

I agreed that outgoing confident guys are more attractive. And if you want to change your situation then all you have to do is try. I offered help and you said no.
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>>16569170
Well if u join the army, say bye bye to your friends, cuz you will be making new ones who know how to kill... For a party :D
>>
>>16569175

I don't really think you understand, even if I find a girl slightly attractive I automatically just lose all motor functions

I've tried overcoming this but I just end up looking like a bigger retard than I already am

I can't fuckin win
>>
>>16569195
Well what kind of help/advice are you looking for? Really there are only three options. 1)therapy 2)trial and error/practicing 3) give up

I did offer to talk to you so you could practice and have someone who will be patient/understanding. A therapist can absolutely be helpful.
>>
well therapy will just make me look weak and will give people the impression that there is something wrong with me which I don't want to do

I guess my only option is talking to strangers on the Internet now
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>>16569449
Therapy doesn't make you weak and the only people that would down on you for going are people you shouldn't want around anyways.

Sorry those of us on the Internet aren't good enough for you to talk to and it's so awful. Good luck with life and maybe if you were less of a jerk more people would want to talk to you.
>>
>>16569449>>16569449
>well therapy will just make me look weak and will give people the impression that there is something wrong with me which I don't want to do

You should notice here that you've just again reiterated the same fear using different words: People will think you'll retarded (or weak because you need therapy, same thing).

First off, it's nonsense - facing one's problems such as in therapy is an act of inner strength, not weakness.
Secondly, your therapy is noone's bussiness. It's your private matter, no one has the right to stick their noses in it.
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>>16568859
>you'll never get on top of this
>so mommy best advice is just to get on top of this
>have you ever had sex with a Pharoah?
>ahh put that pussy in a sarcophagus
>now she claiming that I bruised her esophagus
That verse always makes me feel like a million bucks
Thread posts: 40
Thread images: 2


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