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>People are telling me that I'm being condescending >Get

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>People are telling me that I'm being condescending
>Get into arguments where people won't admit they are wrong to me
>End up arguing with people when I don't even want to
>Feel like I am always trying to seek mutual understanding but people let their emotions get in the way
>Go quiet, get along better with people but once I forget to and relax the problem persists again
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>>16536022
Goddamn those earmuffs!
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Holy shit you sound insufferable. People call you condescending, and they are "letting their emotions get in the way" because some part of either how you express your opinion (too much hyperbole, personal attacks etc) gives them the feeling that you're some kind of blowhard shitlord. You're also "seeking mutual understanding" and have "arguments where people won't admit they are wrong to me" both sound like instances where you don't know when shut up and to fucking drop the subject. You're like the four year old kid asking "Why?" all the time. So that's two strikes right there.

Now that I've gotten that out of my system, my advice is to stick with fairly neutral topics, which means no religion and definitely no politics. Don't talk about controversial subjects (gun control, abortion, terrorism) unless you want to get into an argument. Talk about books, movies, nature, etc. And for the love of God even if someone is wrong, quit badgering them. There is pretty much a zero chance that they will admit they are wrong to you, even if they are.
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>>16536022
Depends on context a lot. I'm called argumentative, but I'm not really. I know when I'm right about something and people don't like it when I push it.

Example:

There's an annoying charity event at work for one of the employees. Her step-son is being sponsored to cycle all over Europe to raise money for cancer. I didn't want to put in, because it's not really for cancer. It's so he can tour the damn world under the pretense of raising money for cancer.

I start getting bugged to put in. I refuse. I get called ignorant by one of the other workers there. I correct her, saying that ignorance means lack of knowledge, and I don't see how that applies here just because I don't want to donate money. She insists that it isn't what ignorance means. I google her the dictionary meaning of it. Because she's wrong, it switches to how I can't let something drop and I'm argumentative.

I dropped both, not speaking to either until I left that job. I don't need to be pestered to give money, and as far as I'm aware, I'm not the one that came up to them calling them this or that or demanding money from them. It was them that did that to me. Yet, they would gossip amongst themselves I'm argumentative. My cousin has a go to where he says something, I counter what he's saying, and it's me being argumentative. Like people can't disagree with him otherwise they are considered argumentative.

People just don't like being called on their shit, when they talk shit, so they try to switch the blame onto you. It's their way of trying to outwit you. If you say anything different that opposes them, you're argumentative.

Do yourself a favour. Find another crowd. There's a reason you're arguing with these people. It's most likely they are idiots, and don't like being called on it.
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>>16536525
How do you know he isn't doing it for cancer? And so what if it isn't? the only issue i see with that is if he's committing fraud by not giving this money to cancer patients.

he's doing what he wants, for a good cause. it's a win win for everyone. regardless of intentions. these don't matter in the real world until they cause tangible, real consequences.

who cares if you get called ignorant? who cares what anyone thinks? learn to let things go. because you're a grown up.

this "i always have to be right" attitude is both unflattering and childish. i hate people like you, because you're annoying. if that upsets you, then please, go ahead and make a powerpoint presentation about how i'm wrong. and i wouldn't give a shit. because that will prove my point.

which you probably won't understand anyone.

people don't like getting their shit called on when it isn't that big of a deal. because no one does. no one cares. but you. they're not trying to "outwit" you. or maybe they are. but that's not only a fairly shitty outlook on people, but you are giving them way more credit than they deserve.

just chill. no one's out to get you. you don't have to be right 100% of the time because at some point you were wrong and someone let it slide. because they like you and value your friendship/camaraderie more than their ego.

you should learn from these people.
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>>16536563
understand anyway*
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>>16536563
how is he annoying?the employees engaged him???
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>>16536563
>How do you know he isn't doing it for cancer?
Sure. He's cycling around the world for cancer. Not like exploring the world has any picture into that at all. Visiting all the different places of the world. I'm sure that has nothing to do with it, right?

And so what? Well, it's my money. I work for it. I decide where it goes, and who it goes to. I don't need to answer or donate money to this guy to essentially travel the world, if I don't want to. And you know what? There isn't a damn thing anyone can say about that.

>this "i always have to be right" attitude is both unflattering and childish. i hate people like you, because you're annoying. if that upsets you, then please, go ahead and make a powerpoint presentation about how i'm wrong. and i wouldn't give a shit. because that will prove my point.

I would say not being able to admit when you're wrong and trying to project the obligation and responsibility onto someone else is unflattering and childish. It's exactly what a kid does, actually. I admit freely when I'm wrong. I'm not always right. No one is. Not being able to admit you're wrong, but to try and switch it onto the other persons character because you couldn't put your hand up and say "fair play, you were right about that, I was wrong" is something you'll have to figure out how to deal with yourself.
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>>16536585
>No, THEY'RE the childish ones
>gets in giant autistic argument with co-workers
How's that fabulous diplomatic approach working out for you, OP? Must not be working all that great because you made a thread here. In your example, you got into an argument because you wanted to. There are plenty of non-confrontational ways to avoid that kind of thing, but you'd rather fight about it because you want to "be right" and then rub their noses in it. But the kicker is, for a lot of topics people are like >16536563, they don't care and you can't make them care, which means you will never get them to "admit you're right," because many times it's just a difference of opinion anyway.
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>>16536585
I'm saying that it doesn't matter and that you won't (unless explicitly stated by him) know his true intentions. you don't. and you shouldn't make such huge sweeping statements about people based off your fairly shitty outlook on people in general.

you have every right to not give him your money. i never said that. i don't believe we are on the same page here.

i would say being constantly offended or argumentative with people who are very clearly not looking for an argument (which is really based on your own perception of people (further based on your interactions with people)) is childish. it's like someone who listens to an argument, picks an aspect entirely unrelated and continues arguing just to prove a point to someone who doesn't give a shit.

this is something you'd just have to learn by being around people.

but anyways, just how do you think you were going to disprove someone's perception of you? they thought you were ignorant for not donating. which i disagree with.

but now they think you are a petty, argumentative asshole. and i would agree. well, also ignorant, which i would disagree.

Firstly, who cares if they think you are ignorant. i didn't think you were. you didn't think you were. you didn't have to prove otherwise because you really weren't going to gain anything?

who cares about the opinions of morons? it's better to save-face and let it go than make yourself look like an asshole. at least in the real world. at the very least keeping good opinions about you can be used to your advantage. especially in the work force.
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most people seem to neglect reason for logicless morality/caveman tier emotion.they are the ignorant ones
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>>16536632
Good reading comprehension there. I'm not OP. Sorry, but I didn't get into any "argument". I got pier pressured into trying to donate money. I then got insulted because I refused. I never specified the reason to them, I just said no.

So at which point was I looking for the argument here. Was it when I approached them? Ah shit, I didn't approach them. Was it when they tried to insult me for it, I called them out on it? I'm there to work. Not be pier pressured into donating money.
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>>16536525
>I'm called argumentative, but I'm not really.
>I know when I'm right about something and people don't like it when I push it.
THAT'S CALLED BEING ARGUMENTATIVE

>I correct her, saying that ignorance means lack of knowledge
You are being a asshole. Nobody gives a shit about semantics or proper definitions of words.

>It's their way of trying to outwit you.
Nobody gives a shit about you. Nobody is trying to outwit you.

>I dropped both, not speaking to either until I left that job.
You are acting like a fucking child.

Just stop. I know you won't listen but I'm saying it anyway. Just stop.

One day, hopefully, you'll realize how annoying you are and you'll do your best to fix it.

I pity you, I really do. I was the same way. I hope you grow out of this phase too.
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>>16536635
>I'm saying that it doesn't matter and that you won't (unless explicitly stated by him) know his true intentions. you don't. and you shouldn't make such huge sweeping statements about people based off your fairly shitty outlook on people in general.
It's not a sweeping statement to say that visiting the world to raise money for cancer means it's essentially travelling the world. That's exactly what it is. It might be raising *some* money for cancer, but it's also travelling the world. You don't need to be a genius to figure that out.

>i would say being constantly offended or argumentative with people who are very clearly not looking for an argument (which is really based on your own perception of people (further based on your interactions with people)) is childish. it's like someone who listens to an argument, picks an aspect entirely unrelated and continues arguing just to prove a point to someone who doesn't give a shit.
Look, it's very simple. I'm 29. I am not a teenager. When a person is unable to admit they are wrong, it's because they are stubborn/prideful. They can't handle being wrong. So what they do is switch it onto someone elses character, to keep their own ego in check. If a person is "clearly" not looking for an argument, then they should be mature enough to admit they were wrong about whatever subject it was being discussed. In my context, it was for being called ignorant. Someone comes up to me, hassles me for money, calls me ignorant, and I correct them, and you say I'M the one that's an argumentative asshole? What are you smoking?

If you can't admit you are wrong, but instead want to call people assholes, continue to do that. It's more about your own personality flaw here, than it is other people. You expect people to "let things go" which is another way of saying "Hey I can't admit when I'm wrong, so it's YOUR fault you argumentative asshole for not letting it go and not mine for not being mature enough to actually say I'm wrong"
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>>16536675
>i got insulted because i refused
did you mean, *they got insulted*?

anyways, the issue is
>when they tried to insult me for it, i called them out on it

how do you know they were trying to insult you? for all we know it may have been a passive comment. they may not have meant for it be offensive.

why did you feel the need to "call them out on it?"
i believe they didn't care. there was no "calling them out on it" because there was nothing to "call out"

even that phrase reeks of "holier than thou" attitude. or perhaps argumentative is a better word. unnecessarily argumentative. i feel like i've said that enough.

but anyways, you're right. you are there to work. not to involve yourself in petty squabbles over issues that don't matter. at all. again, no one gives a shit but you.

do you think your coworker cares? do you think they've bitched about it on a Japanese cartoon imageboard?

probably not. but it doesn't matter regardless. just something to think about anon.
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>>16536716
well you aren't getting what I'm saying.

i hope you get over the fact that i don't care.

i expect a thread with your bitching within the next few months after this eats you up. like the petty, unnecessary argument you had with your coworker to boost your ego.
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>>16536730
For someone that doesn't seem to care, you responded to me saying you "hate" people like me. Awful strong word to show that you don't care. Furthermore, my ego is fine my friend. It's that paranoia of yours, to "boost my ego" that's the core issue. Pride. You're unable to admit you're wrong because somehow that makes you feel inferior and them superior. Me, I don't have that problem. Shit happens. If I'm wrong, I'm wrong. You on the other hand have to start bitching like a kid saying "WAHHH LET IT GO MAN, JUST LET IT GO, STOP BEING AN ASSHOLE"
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>>16536730
>>16536690
watch this guy realize what we're saying and come back with this "i was just tricking you" bullshit.

im calling it right now. if he doesn't do it here, he's going to do it in his head. the delusion is strong in this one.

anyways, peace.
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>>16536525
> I start getting bugged to put in. I refuse.
You couldn't just shut the fuck up and give a Euro like everyone else?

You're problem isn't (just) that you're argumentative. Your problem is that you're a cunt. And a fucking broke ass cheapskate.
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>>16536760
My answer:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9jrKXf2G-AA
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>>16536774
https://youtu.be/0doSWS0Fj24
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>>16536760
this nigga.
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>>16536813
Yawn. Have you nothing better to do?
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>>16536690
Nice troll, I laughed.
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>>16536467
Not OP but people being wrong and insisting on the wrong way of things really bothers me, I get to a point where I can't drop the subject.

It is really hard for me to be considerate of a person's feelings when they're insisting on creating mustard gas or their anecdotal evidence outranking scientific studies.

I don't know how to accept dumbass things into my brain and not put my voice out there when they're said.
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>>16537147
It's simple. Let people do and believe what they want. Because they're going to do and believe what they want regardless of what you say. Just as you are going to do and believe what you want regardless of what they say.

We're all trying to live our lives to the best of our knowledge. Most of the time when people correct someone else what they are communicating is, "I'm smarter than you so let me tell you how to live your life." Nobody likes an attitude like that.

>anecdotal evidence outranking scientific studies
This doesn't matter. Humanity has survived without scientific studies for thousands of years. You don't need them to live a normal life. Basing your life around peer reviewed scientific studies does not make you a better person, neither does ignoring them.

>insisting on creating mustard gas
This is the ONLY time you step in and say, "Hey man, I think that might hurt you in this manner." Show concern and that you're there to help them, NOT prove them wrong.
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>>16537147
>their anecdotal evidence outranking scientific studies
Which study? Was it peer reviewed? How does it compare against studies that draw contrary conclusions? Who are the authors? What was the sample size? We're their testing methods relevant? Where was it cited? What does the rest of the community say about it? Was it published in a credible journal? Who funded the study? What were the motivations behind it? What statistical methods were applied? Was a similar study performed prior and if so why was another conducted?
You probably don't have the answer to any of these questions and they are only the beginning when analyzing a scientific study. Studies are not truth, merely a best guess at it. You choose to trust in the authority of whoever performed that study and accept it as truth without questioning it yourself. And there's nothing wrong with that. You can't analyze every piece of information you come across, it's impossible. You MUST readily trust in others. Trust in authority is the basis for almost all human knowledge. That's what it all comes down to. If that's all knowledge is then we don't really "know" much of anything, so don't judge others or think yourself above them. We're all doing the best we can.
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Fuck it OP, you just got to know when to pick your battles and surround yourself with intellectually honest people. As far as I'm concerned if two people disagree (not on things like favourite song) they should keep arguing until one of them changes their mind.

>>16537202
>Basing your life around peer reviewed scientific studies does not make you a better person

It makes you a more informed person. You could still be a pyscho I guess, but if you are as morally good as someone else, then yes you are a better person.
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>>16536022
>Get into arguments where people won't admit they are wrong to me

The meaning of any constructive conversation is lost when you start arguing from a me vs them perspective.

Take >>16536525 for example. He got into a verbal conflict with his coworker because they had differing viewpoints. Instead of working towards a mutual understanding with his irate coworker he chose to draw the argument into petty semantics. Why? To deflect criticism and salvage his ego. Nobody gave a shit about dictionary definitions in that obviously bullshit story though so he only made himself look like a retard both inside this fantasy situation and on a Mongolian cuneiform tablet.
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OP here

I admit I am wrong whenever I actually am, but in my experience the people who I end up arguing with never do
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>>16536022
Have a kid, you can teach those things anything
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>>16536585
>Not like exploring the world has any picture into that at all
Not like repeatedly pedaling your legs for 2000 miles has any picture into it either right? some people actually understand that it's what you'd call 'difficult'. like what the fuck do you want him to do instead, sell himself as a film extra to ISIS? would that be selfless enough for your donation?
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>>16536563
>it's a win win for everyone. regardless of intentions
Maybe, however that doesn't give other people the right to force their views and ways of behaviour onto somebody else. You may suggest, you may persuade but do not ever present yourself as forcefully pushing your own view, ideas and agenda on somebody else. If you do expect to be called on your shit. Being able to take such criticism is part of being a grown up to.
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>>16539060
OP, I completely understand you. I used to be a bit argumentative because the people I got into it with were either A: ignorant or B:unwilling to admit fault. I too admit I'm wrong when I am but that doesn't help. admitting when you're wrong doesn't work out because it's an argument, not a debate. most people argue because of their ego. They don't drop things because of their ego. Even debates can go south if not moderated. I have the unfortunate luck of having a friend who is into debates and taught me how to properly state facts and take losses. I had the misfortune of learning from someone who was level headed when it came to this kind of thing. realize that debates are about people understanding different ideals and are inherently secular. Also realize that arguments are are the opposite because motivation comes from the self. It's offensive whereas debates are somewhat defensive.

point is don't argue. ever. These days I don't argue. I don't say shit. I don't talk about politics, religion, or ethics and I certainly don't engage in any kind of gossip. I'd rather look like an autist who doesn't know how to talk than get into an argument with people who say really dumb shit because there are a lot of them. Either nod your head or shrug your shoulders.
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