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My alcoholism made me goof bad guys and I'm not sure what

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My alcoholism made me goof bad guys and I'm not sure what to do
>Be me yesterday, finish studying and start drinking because I've been feeling like trash all day.
>Underestimate how drunk I've gotten from the first few drinks so I chug two more
>Start fading in and out of awareness so I wrap myself in my blanket and decide to listen to an album one of my housemates suggested to me
>Long fade out period
>Fade back in rambling to him and his gf while they're in bed (I had woken them up) about how great the album is. At this point I realize I'm in a situation I should not be in and say I'll just tell him tomorrow and excuse myself.
>Fast forward to this morning, I'm getting ready to go to go class and see him, we chat a bit and he brings up last night (which I had mostly forgotten about) and for some reason HE apologizes TO ME about being too tired to understand what I was talking about, so I just run with that and we end up discussing the album and the artist for a bit before I have to go and he seemed pretty chill about it. Then he reminds me that I left my sweater in his room which makes me even more confused

So why do I still feel like a garbage housemate and have this urge to apologize to him and his gf? At the same time I feel like he gave me a pass to escape the incident with minimal awkwardness between us and I should just take it. I haven't seen his gf again yet but I feel like I can't just ignore what happened.

I'm not particularly close with him or any of our other housemates and sort of feel like the outsider in the group, but I think that distance has been shrinking recently and now I may have gone and fucked it all up by gaining a reputation as a drunken nuisance.

What should I do /adv/ ?
You're most likely tripping out and nothing bad happened. I get literally the same feeling after I drink - an insatiable feeling that I fucked up or embarrassed myself somehow. That's why I never get smashed in public anymore, and save it for my boys. If the dude is close enough to you he would be open and tell you something made him uncomfortable.
Don't drink to shake off feelings. It will just worsen them and escalate things. Talk to a trusted person about your problems. Does alcoholism run in any of your family?
Yes and I'm painfully aware of the road I'm walking down but its ridiculously hard to stop for more than a few weeks. I've told myself I'll drop it if it ever gets to the point where I'm skipping class to get drunk but now I'm not so sure if thats the best point to wait for.

It's good to know I'm not the only one who frequently gets this post-drunk anxiety. Do you think I should just pretend it never happened and move on?
Oh God I'm pretty sure I just heard him and our other roommate joking about it in the common room, its over...
Should I buy him and his gf coffee to make up for it or

Dude, you have issues. Paranoia, to be exact. What you described was just a funny little thing thatll only bring you guys closer. An icebreaker, if you will.

But yeah I guess buying them something like a snack is a good gesture. I just think you're torturing yourself too much for it but then again easier said than done
Is this really not such a huge fuccboi move? I have a history of freaking out internally over minor stuff but this just seems so...
Ancient vaudeville joke:

Patient (moving arm or something): Doctor, it hurts when I do this.
Doctor: So don't do that!

Modern version:
You: When I get drunk I do stupid, embarrassing things.
Us: . . . . .
It's hard to stop, I keep trying and get a few months in before I'm at some social event and the only way to make my anxiety fade is to drink like everyone else, then a few weeks later I'm back to drinking by myself again.

Fellow alcoholic here, don't worry about it too much. You did something silly. I'd probably own up to it, make a joke about it, and then it'll be something no one remembers again. You're in school, everyone has these stupid stories.

If it starts to be a recurring thing, then you need to worry. Everyone that drinks has a few "haha that got out of control" moments in their life.
No. Not everyone has these stupid stories. Don't let yourself off the hook by the excuse that you're no worse than everyone else. Getting so drunk you do something stupid is NOT normal behavior. Getting so drunk you "fade in and out of awareness" is NOT what everyone does.

You are not just an ordinary college kid who drank a little too much one night," like everybody does." Don't give yourself that escape.
So what do you think is the best thing I can do to make things right between us?
way to kick a man when he's down
jesus christ op just say to his face: hey man sorry I bothered your so late last night.
Case closed. dont make a whole thread about it like a fagot

also if you want to drink, than just drink. who cares
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