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I have a six page research essay due in an hour that I haven't

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I have a six page research essay due in an hour that I haven't started.

What do I do?
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>>16521962
Get off 4chan and do it. 6 pages is fuck all
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>>16521967
How do you even research a story and write more pages about it than the story itself occupies?
>>
helpppppppppppppppppppppp
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>>16521962
Get of this board send an email asking for an extension due circumstances that are difficult to describe over email and immediately begin working both your essay and your excuse.
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>>16522021
No professor gives extensions an hour before an assignment is due. There's an expectation that you should have had it done by now, and if your excuse arose earlier, you should have contacted them earlier
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>>16522021
>>16522029
I've accepted it's too late by now, but how do I even do research on a two page story? I don't understand what I'm supposed to be doing at all. Nothing I've done in the course makes sense to me. I think I do an essay right and I get a C every time.
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>>16521962
Are their rules for what happens if you hand it in late? You aren't gonna be able to write a 6 page paper in one hour unless you have a true mastery of the material. You could ask for an extension on it, but like
>>16522029
Said, it is unlikely that a professor will give one this late. Anyway, assuming it's not an automatic zero, after class get researching and find as much info as possible, then write the paper. all you can do.
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>>16522037
Let me guess, you're a STEM major and this is a gen ed class or something?
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>>16522037
What is the story? What is the topic? You can write entire essays on one sentence if you have to. Remember, Earnest Hemingway wrote a novel in 6 words. "For sale: baby shoes, never worn."
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>>16522040
I can probably get away with being a day late.

>>16522047
Exactly this.

>>16522049
I can choose between a handful in our book. I can either write about one story or compare two completely unrelated stories.
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>>16522047
>>16522059
But I thought STEM was master race? Sets you up for a life of success, no exceptions?
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>>16522059
Probably easier to compare two stories unless you are extremely confident in your knowledge in the one. Get some adderall or caffine, sit down and just write down any sentences that you think are relevant. Highlight if possible. Then once you have a decent amount of info, the actual writing part is easy.
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Can this assignment be handed in late with no penalty?
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>>16522068
Stem is a great major, if your suited for it. But so many people go into STEM now, it's hard to distinguished yourself unless you truly excel in it. So basically, unless it's something you love, you might be better off looking somewhere else. (not women or race studies.)
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>>16522074
I've never heard of that. If you could hand it in late with no penalty, what's the point of a due date?
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>>16522068
Why I need to take four english/literature classes for a CS a degree I'll never know.
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>>16522068
Autism makes it hard to write essays. They are like robots and just see numbers everywhere. That's why they go into STEM.
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>>16522088
200 level classes have it a lot. Same with High school.
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>>16522089
Because clearly it teaches you skills that you don't learn from STEM. Skills like how to research effectively, and how to communicate through written reports.
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>>16522095
Not all autistic people are good at math and science, they just happen to focus on one thing in life which they typically excel at. I know one who is a wonderful painter, another who is good at playing piano etc etc. (I volunteer with them)
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>>16522105
>Because clearly it teaches you skills
It seems they've failed quite terribly at that desu senpai baka.
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>>16522089
You don't, they are simply using your money pussy to milk their big long financial cock.
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>>16522115
Well no, they haven't. It's up to you to utilise resources to develop those skills, and OP and the OP of the other thread haven't done so, evidently. A large part of higher education is about independent learning. I doubt OP's professor would turn him away if he had gone and asked for help, explaining he was a STEM major and wasn't familiar with what is required. All the opportunity was there, it's not their fault if you don't make the most of it
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Can someone help me out with a point by point guide on how to do this story research shite?
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>>16522202
>do research
>write an essay
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>>16522250
I don't see how it's logical to write an essay that's longer than the story itself.

How is reading a story even considered research anyway?
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>>16522276
You haven't even told us what the assignment is
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>>16521962
If you can't manage your time to write out a 6 page paper just drop out of school man it's not for you.
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>>16522202
Take this advice and learn it by heart:

In life there are certain things you just have to deal with. This is one of them. Okay? You've been given an ultimatum: write and succeed, or don't write and fail. If you can't do this, a 6 page essay, then you should drop out today. If 6 pages feels hard, then it's going to feel like assrape to write multiple times longer essays.

Get familiar with the content, justify to yourself why other parts are more important than others, take notes, arrange them into topics, and start writing.

Do NOT pick your nose while asking /adv/ to write it for you. The later will never happen.
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>>16522287
Read story from book and write research paper on it. That's as much as I understand.

>>16522294
I only wanted to work with computers and honestly I went to college because I needed the student loans to help pay for rent and food.

>>16522315
I've got $100 here for anyone willing to write it for me. 100% serious.
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>>16522332
>Read story from book and write research paper on it. That's as much as I understand.
I refuse to believe that is the only instruction you've been given on it. What. Does. The. Assignment. Brief. Say. ?
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>>16522332
>honestly I went to college because I needed the student loans to help pay for rent and food
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What is the worst that can happen from not handing the essay in?

What is the worst that can happen for handing in a poor essay?
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>>16522332
So read the damn story, and come up with a thesis to prove in your essay. That's all a research paper is. If you can't come up with a good thesis statement google what others may think about the story. Then find other texts, quotes, or events that support your statement.
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>>16522337
Write research paper like you would an essay except use more views or determine critical opinions of multiple stories and compare them.

>>16522338
I like to think I'd understand the subject matter more if I quit my job and lived entirely off the loans giving me more time to study, but I don't think they'll give me more than $10k a year when I need at least $4k more than that to survive.

>>16522350
>What is the worst that can happen from not handing the essay in?
Get a D or F and have to retake the class.

>What is the worst that can happen for handing in a poor essay?
Get a D and have to retake the class.

>>16522376
It is very difficult for me to find the motivation to pretend I care enough about a story to write so much garbage about it.
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>>16521967

This

I wrote ten pages on chromosomal disorders in like 90 mins as an undergrad.
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>>16522383
>OP is literally retarded. He can ever do a fucking essay
>He can ever do
I know enough to call this irony.
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>>16522385
>It is very difficult for me to find the motivation to pretend I care enough about a story to write so much garbage about it.
Here's your motivation: if you don't do it, you'll fail and you'll have to retake the class. Here's some more motivation: whoever designs your syllabus has deemed these classes important enough for you to do, and if you don't do them, then you won't get your precious STEM degree. If you think this sort of assignment is beneath you, you're wrong.and you're wasting your time at university.
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>>16522385
If you can't pretend for a few hours to write a fucking paper then you're going to fail. Not just this class, but at life. Life is full of shit you don't want to do. You are not a special snowflake so you too, like the rest of us, have to do bullshit you don't care about. Either get used to it or prepare for a shit life.
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>>16522418
>prepare for a shit life.
No need for that.
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>>16521962
Anon, while you certainly can't get this done in an hour, it's simple to write about fiction.
Just find some angle, write, then look up your angle and skim some paper and take a random quote from it and shove it in.

Look for: ambiguity, gender roles, patterns in metaphor, interesting uses of time/chronology, ethos/pathos/logos, and basic theme/characterization/setting shit. If you do the two stories thing, look for what's the same (for example, a similar use of metaphor) and explain how it's actually different and why.
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I decided I'm going to save this project for tomorrow when I get off work.

Have any tips for me?
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>>16523409
hope ypu've been working on it for the last nine hours
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>>16523420
LOL
Thread posts: 45
Thread images: 3


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