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There's no going back

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Easiest way to kill oneself, and how to break the mental barrier?

Fear of actual death is the only thing stopping SWIM. It's instinct to fear death though. SWIM has nothing left to live for, no amount of bargaining can convince them of this, can't take it anymore. Can't take the ups and downs of life. Easiest way out.
Easiest way out is talking with somebody... Try to get some psychological help. Im close myself to give up on life, yet there are people who need you...even if not at the moment. Get your shit together for one more day, try to talk to somebody.
If you are still looking for a way out, try heliumgas and a breathing mask.
You will pass out, suffocate, nobody will notice, there is no mess left of you, the body stays the first hours like before.
Caution, there is no turning back once you made your decision.
Always remember, taking a live is easier than remaining alive. You can do it
but why would you do it? the world is a really big place, you could do whatever the fuck you want. there are practically infinite possiblities.

>SWIM has nothing left to live for
you don't have loved ones?

>there are people who need you...
this. think about other people you are leaving.
Suicide is and always has been a selfish act, but it's even more selfish for "loved ones" to assume I should just "handle this" and continue on when all I feel is pain. Every day. Non stop.
Not OP, but biggest thing stopping me is the affect it would have on my family. I have no friends so they're of no concern. But my parents do love me dearly and I love them, but I don't want to live, I've felt this way since I was 14, I'm 22 now, I only ever do anything to keep them happy, going through years of anguish and self-loathing just to keep them happy, they don't know, I can't tell them, but sooner or later it's going to happen.
I don't really care much for how it affects loved ones. I can only think about how much pain I'm feeling. And I'm about right there with you. Started around 14, I'm 20 now. Things are only getting worse and I can't see the light at the end of the tunnel anymore.
seriously, what are your reasons to want to kill yourself?

there is not a single day I haven't thought about killing myself, and yet I recognize that I'm being overly dramatic, that life isn't restricted to my shit environment, that there truly are infinite possibilities, and that I could somehow find a path to solve my little problems. I have to recognize, though, that my life has been relatively easy (I was born poor and had cancer, but I've been given help when I needed it, and I've usually done what I wanted) although not easier than some rich fuck that has been given (the potential of getting) everything they want.

try to "think out of the box", understand that people live differently in different places and contexts, and try to take advantage of that fact.

what if you leave everything and just start travelling random places? what if you find a much better job, become self-employed or something? you don't really need to know a lot about something, just do whatever you are good at, find a good idea and put a lot of effort on it.

again, there are infinite possibilities in life, you just have to change yourself a bit and simply do what you need to do.
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hmm man sometimes you just feel shit...
\sucks teeth loudly\
Don't kill yourself. Get your shit together, work more, make more money, and try to get laid. I mean that's the name of the game.

If you need a reprieve go on a trip or do some acid or something.
understand that depression is an illness, and, IMO, it's usually caused by lack of sleep, stress, etc., and, of course, some events in your life will cause depression, too...
if you are depressed and start to feel like shit, tell yourself "depression is an illness, I should stop feeling like this, I need to distract myself" and find a way to distract yourself
Too bad I'm female and getting laid only involves more feelings and more opportunity to get hurt. Pass. I will, on the other hand, take a meaningful relationship that doesn't end and I spend the rest of my life loving someone unconditionally. That just might solve everything.
Well, there are people who can't take more of the same shit, they aren't strong enough. Poor souls.
What is a SWIM?
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Your advice would only work just before and just after a depressed period, problem is, it simply doesn't work anyway.

With me, when I'm normal, I'm not thinking about being depressed. When I'm depressed, it's effectively impossible to think of anything positive or productive. so I'd literally have those few hours I was slipping, if I even noticed it at the time, to "get over it". Not going to happen.
Someone Who Isn't Me
Oh ok, that makes sense

I have depression on and off as well, as does my husband and a couple members of my family, and I can confirm this.

OP you probably know all this but just in case someone is reading and doesn't know...One thing about therapy and self-help - even if it doesn't seem to be doing much at the time, if you're learning ways to deal with shit, it makes the heavy load of depression easier to bear. Generally people don't go to therapy when they're feeling fine though, because they feel fine. But when I talk about self-help I don't just mean workbooks and shit, but also things I've learned to help me get through the regular shit of life.

For the depressed person...this is kinda a goofy metaphor but life is kind of like a fog or a maze in a 3d game, and your mood is sort of like your Z coordinate. When you're depressed you have a much harder time feeling your way around and all you can see around you is the fog and the dead ends you're constantly getting stuck in. When you're not depressed, you are farther above it and can see where you need to go, and can actually see far enough to find a goal or bright spot that is worth hoping for.

Journaling actually helped me map some of it out so that when shit's bad, I can sometimes jog my memory of when things were better. And when shit's good, I can help myself remember what "emotional hygiene" things I need to keep up with in order to stay that way longer.

As for you OP...I know I can tell you that things can and do get better, but I can't tell you if the good times are worth sticking around for. If you're under 30 I hope you stick around a while, as things can look different once you've been on your own for several years. I will say that if you have to start a thread asking how to kill yourself, you probably have not spent enough time studying it and/or you either unconsciously want someone to stop you or you want someone's permission to do it. I honestly don't know what to tell you.
Seems like you have been tricked into thinking that you have no purpose. Alot of people think it's acceptable to say that life has no meaning, but most of them don't even know what they're talking about (and are under 30 years old, as if they have everything figured out).
About the whole infinite possibilities thing, you can really do anything you want, implying you already want to do something. Always remember that you are important (because I can't see how you're not) and it doesn't depend on how you feel.
Even if you haven't figured it out, it doesn't mean life is over. You simply don't know. That's all. And you will know soon enough what your purpose is, if you want to find an answer to it
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