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>"There's someone for everyone!" >"You're

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>"There's someone for everyone!"
>"You're still young, you'll meet someone someday."
>"You really should find someone, trust me, if you don't you'll regret it."
>"Don't you want kids, anon? You'd make a great dad."


Fuck man, is there a polite way of telling people to stop saying depressing shit like this to me?
What few friends and family I have don't quite seem to get that I'm a loser loner with all the personality and social skills of a bag of gravel, who won't ever get anyone, but I can't exactly say that.
>>
I know that feel.
You could just tell them to stop saying that because it bums you the fuck out. Straight-up.
>>
well with that attitude of course you won't. do you even want to "find someone"? or are you happy by yourself? because that's valid, even though people nowadays don't seem to agree
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>>16493525
Believe me, I've tried that before, but just get answers like 'don't be so negative, of course you will' and such. A lot of the time they'll start the sentence with'I know you don't like talking about it, but-' and then proceed to tell me how bad they feel about me not having anyone and how I deserve to be happy etc.

>>16493533
Just saying it how it is man, I know what I am. Some people are just too broken to fix.
Sometimes I do feel I want someone, but then I think about it and come to the conclusion that I'm happier with my own company the majority of the time. I'm told it's an unhealthy way of thinking though.
>>
The worst thing for me is when I'm talking to any woman over 40-50 years old.

>how old are you anon?
I'm 27
>what do you do for a living
run seasonal business, make money through various investments, do contract work when I feel like it (I'm actually fairly successful for my age by most standards)
>ohh, that's cool! well are you married or do you have a girlfriend?
Uh, no
>w-why not? *said with a look of genuine concern*
I dunno, it's just not that big of a priority for me right now, I'm more worried about other things to be honest.
>*look of bewilderment settles on her face*


It's like every middle aged woman I talk to thinks that getting into a serious relationship is a required goal at my age and if I'm not actively working towards that goal then there's something wrong with me. Are they just projecting or am I the weird one? I don't think that telling them about my ongoing "friends with benefits" situation and that I just prefer to keep things from getting too serious at this point in my life would be any better.
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>>16493705

I am literally like you.

I've gotten to the point though where if someone asks "do you have a girlfriend". And I'm telling them "no, I don't want one".
But of course that had a fucking downfall because some people in the past have assumed I'm gay. When I'm not. Fuck, you can't please anyone .
>>
I don't understand, do you guys think it's actually better to be complacent and lonely than to improve yourselves or something?
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>>16493705
I've noticed there is a fuck ton of pressure to find someone who you "want to grow old with" by about 30. I'm only 22 but I have friends from high school who are married, engaged, or are married and have kids or just have kids. It's fucking crazy to me. Just do you Anon, at least you can get fucked unlike me who has been on a dry spell.
>>
>>16493721
You know you could say "I'm not really interested in a relationship right now" and not have people think you're gay, right? And if you've resigned yourself to be alone forever, what difference does it make anyway?
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>>16493724
I think that's the misconception. I'm constantly trying to improve myself in some facet of my life whether it's just reading a book or lifting weights. I don't want a girlfriend, I've had my heart fucked with enough to validate being single for a while
>>
>>16493725
Most of my friends that got married right out of high school are now divorced and are working on their 2nd failed marriage. The pressure our society places on people to get married as well as the idealized notion of what marriage actually is that some people hold causes a lot of young people (early twenties) to rush into marriage too fast, make some babbys, and then have the whole thing fall apart around them within a couple of years as they figure out who they really are as an adult and learn who they actually married.

As a friend, it's a pretty painful process to watch.
>>
>>16493736
So why can't you say that when people ask? Just say you're not interested in relationships.

My question was more aimed at OP and guys like him, who implied he's never going to be attractive to women. People like you are not who it was aimed at.
>>
>>16493729

Im fine with dying alone. I'm aware that's going to be what happens anyways. So I accept it.

I just hate how people are always into others shit. When people joke "hey anon, when you get married blah blah blah". I say "well, I'm not going to" people actually get like offended or some shit. They say "WHAT?? YOU don't want to get MARRIED?!" "That's selfish!"
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>>16493572
>'don't be so negative, of course you will'
I hate that too, so fucking much. They don't know shit about me and still bother to "cheer me up".
It's like back then in school. You know those kids that went "oh no, I'm gonna fail everything and become homeless" and then scored an A, while I knew that I fucked up, others were like "it won't be that bad, don't worry" and as I expected, I failed.
When I say I fucked up, then that means I fucked up. I'm not like them, who go on and on about how much they sucked and suddenly turn out with excellent grades. Fuck those people.
It's not even about cheering me up anymore. It's only for themselves, to make themselves feel better.
>>
OP, friends and family are always going to try and say encouraging stuff like that. You need tough love. Take a look at your live and determine whether or not a girl would want to be with you in your current state.

There's a good chance there are things you do or bad traits you didn't even know you had. Maybe you talk negatively about other people, brag too much or generally complain a lot. Perhaps your hygiene could use a little work, your posture isn't good or you need to exercise and eat correctly. If you have negative traits like this you'll have a hard time finding a girl who wants to be with you.

Forget the idea that a girl should accept you for who you are. Figure out what the best version of yourself would be and set that as your goal. Once you are truly happy with your life you will find a girl.
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>>16493746
Your problem is in the way you're wording it. If you say something like "I'm not interested right now" or "I'm not ready right now", you're not going to provoke those responses you're so mad about
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>>16493753

I guess I'm just too honest and straight forward
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>>16493755
You are literally the cause of your own problem
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>>16493743
I mean I feel like that as well sometimes that my efforts are just being wasted and I'll never be attractive to another woman, but I think that's normal and my self esteem will get better as I do. Getting cheated on fucks with you.
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>>16493759

I just don't get why my choices are such a big deal to people. If someone told me they don't want to get married, I wouldn't give a shit. That's their choice.
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>>16493724
OP here. I am actively improving myself, at least in ways I feel I have some control, ie. getting in shape, going back into education for a career change, working on my hobby etc.

Shit like my boring personality and social retardation though I've made an effort to fix for years now since it's always been a huge obstacle for me, but it never works out and I'm just tired and dejected. Gotta throw in the towel when you know you're licked.
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Im like you op. People keep arguing empty bullshit about how relationships are the greatest thing evarrr you're a pretty girl etc etc barf no I fucking hate kids i dont want them jesusss

I told people I'm aromantic or whatever its called and its sort of gotten them off my back, worked better than anything else I"ve tried. I mean being bitchy and pointing out their insecurities works too but it doesnt give you any favors.

Like, if u want to go the bitchy route. its people being insecure about shit and projecting that onto you, trying to convince themselves that they arent so lonely/insecure that they couldnt live on their own without a relationship. They literally cannot comprehend that someone can be happy without somethingthat they deem absoltely vital to their happiness. Good luck anon here are your torpedo boosters
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>>16493780
People are extremely judgemetal against anything that goes against the grain. If you're not doing, or have done, something on the list of societies norms, you're perceived as a weirdo and it's a condition that either needs to be rectified, or they keep their distance.
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"I'm the only person who has ever gone through puberty and it's soooo awful!"

This is literally what asshole like you sound like.
Everyone's gone through it.
Everyone's gotten the fuck over it.
But there's always a few assholes who will sit there and bitch about things for way too long.
Then the inevitable happens and they land some sperg whale who looks 10 years older than she should. And they get married because they both think it's the best they'll ever get.
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>>16493724
fuck off with this improvement shit
man this would be 10/10 b8 you got me good
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>>16493724
I honestly have zero interest on improving myself or living in general. My daily routine consists of what I absolutely have to do and things I do because of force of habit, nothing more nothing less. The one thing that makes me happy is playing with my dogs and I'll most likely outlive them by many decades anyways. All entertainment seems shallow. I'm just waiting for my dogs to die so they won't be alone when I kill myself.
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>>16493521
Do what I did

say " I have a shit personality, relationships require effort Im not willing to put into, marriage is a joke, and for for me having kids is a waste time, money and selfish to bring them in this world."

Theyll never bother you again.
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>>16495159
>Theyll never bother you again.
No, they'll just talk about how much of a weirdo you are behind your back
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>>16495168
Like it matters. People always got something to say about you whether its good or bad. For me, I could care less because in the end, I'll fuck off somewhere else and you wont see me again.
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Just laugh it off. Unless you say something blunt people are going to keep on trying to help.

i'm 23 nowhere near to settling down, granted I haven't had sex in over a year (came close several times but haha).

I've said I'd wait 5 years to marry someone. Which even if I met Mrs. Right tomorrow that'll put me at 28. Realistically I'm not getting married until at least 30 possibly later if at all. However I've changed heaps since 18-23 and imagine there will be another refining in the next few years. I'm glad I've waited and that I've broken up with my Ex. One of my best friends (22) is getting married and I'm the best man. I really don't think it is in his best interest to be marrying said girl, but whatever it isn't up for me to decide.

Just stop thinking about it and don't worry about what people say/think
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>>16493849
>>16493705

Dude tell them that you love to fuck women and it'd would be a shame not have fun before hunkering down.

" You'd be a great dad and with a pretty girl you would be happy"

You " Oh mam no It'd be a shame not to have some fun with the ladies before settling down."
Thread posts: 31
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