Hello /adv/, I have a girlfriend question. I just sometimes don't

I'm not talking about not going to her in general. But at like one time per week or something I just want to stay at home without needing a specific reason

How long have you been dating? Have you told her before that it's hard for you to take the train that much?

I haven't told her. I just used reasons (like doing sports) to stay at home. But I don't want to lie when the reason cancels.
One and a half year.

I know here well enough to know that she won't understand.
I don't expect that she will be angry or something, but I will have a bad feeling and I'm not sure if it's ok to stay at home without a reason.

>>16493087
first of all I wouldn't worry about your parents. you're 21, you have your own life.
secondly, if you're busy, your girl needs to understand and accept that. I get that she misses you, which of course is something you wish for, but sometimes you just have to do other things too.

also couldn't you maybe get some work done on the train? that's what I always did. I also had an hour train ride, that's 2 hours each day without distractions you can use to study.

>>16493150
>>16493087
I agree, use the train rides to study, but also I think you're making it excessively complicated. If you think it's stressing you out, don't go to her place, and study instead. Simply tell her what you need to do and she'll understand, as long as what you're implying isn't true.
>I know her well enough to know that she won't understand

>>16493244
Thank you for your answers. I just quoted one, but thank you all for your posts.

I have something in addition so say:
I don't need to study every time I don't feel like going to her.
I could actually study at her place, but that would obviously be later in the evening than at home which is stressing a bit.

But I'm also talking about to not want to take the train because knowing I have to change place in the evening itself is stressing.

What do you think about that point? Is it bad from me when I just dont want to, just like that? Just to relax and not having to pack clothes together and change place?

Asked differently:
Am I just a lazy ass or is it ok/normal to just stay.

>>16493307
everybody needs some time to them self every once in a while. and she just has to accept that you sometimes don't want to take the one hour train ride but instead just want to be alone. and also, why does she never come to you?!

Might be hard to suddenly bring up having alone time over a year into a relationship. If you really think she won't understand you, how long do you think the relationship is going to last? What sort of real issues might instantly cause a break up? If you can't talk about issues now, how will that go down the line?
Seems like the relationship is just making you more stressed when you have more important things to focus on. Neither of you are (presumably) going to live closer to each other any time soon. It might be a good time to reconsider what you're doing.

>>16493087
No normal relationship requires you to give her ALL your time. "I'm busy studying" and "I'm having a boys' night with my friends" are perfectly legitimate reasons not to see her, and if she doesn't accept that it's a danger sign.
Meanwhile, why doesn't she ever come to you, or you arrange to meet in the middle?