Been posting about my ex and deleting her on snapchat, and how

Tldr my ex who im pining after sent me a pic on snapchat saying hi, what do?

>>16468118
its bait...


You deleted her so you could move on. If she messages you with "hey" its bait to see if you are still interested. If staying in contact with her doesn't benefit you in anyway then don't respond.

Benefit you as in, she wants to fug or buy you shit or serve you in some way.

>>16468145
lol true. i probably shouldnt have responded but fuck, i was caught off gaurd...shit. now she probably thinks im a needy fuck, doesnt she? i just sent back a pic saying hey.

should i just forget and block? wait?
god damnit, why the fuck would she "bait" me, is she a cold fucking bitch? this better not be the case.

>>16468145
so are you saying she sent me a pic to see if id respond and then basically laugh and call me pathetic when i do? thats fucked up. why not just leave me alone?

Jesus fucking christ, why did I respond? Now I feel sick. I responded making the same smiling face she did saying hey in the same way she did.

I'm fucked.

Would appreciate if someone could just say 'you did fine and just continue moving on' :\

>>16468171
Did you or did she break up?

If it was you, then she is the one looking for your attention.

If it was her, then she may still have feelings for you, and its a call for help by her to contact you after the fact.

She may just still wanna be friends and talk, IF THAT IS THE CASE you should make it clear to her that you cant keep the relationship going but being friends is okey (if that is okey for you)

Bottom line is, do not get tempted to go back to her, you have a lot of fish in the sea.

>>16468201
'we' broke it off together, 'i' was the one who brought it up but it was because she was the one who was feeling the distance was too much, i basically view it as her wanting the break up more than me.

was hoping maybe its a call for help to contact but not so sure. getting some mixed feelings. she posted some pics of my city on tumblr and stuff like 'i miss you' but never messaged me once...

>>16468214
Getting over a relationship is harder than you first believe.

You had the help of /adv/ to cope with it, she didnt. She may still have feelings for you, and as long as getting back together is out of the table, then settling for being friends sounds like the most logical approach.

However, you should not be with her as a way of creating the illusion of you still being together. That will create lots of problems in the future trust me on this one.

>>16468224
Thanks for that.
She still hasn't looked at my message yet; I still feel like she won't even respond and that she was just gauging my response, but thats the cynic in me. I guess we'll see.

Either way, I'm assuming it wasn't just a complete 'accident'... so either way she is somehow thinking or wondering about me in some fashion?

>>16468171
All women will turn into a cold fucking bitch after the breakup.

>>16468232
If she's not responding to your message within a respectable period of time drop her. This is a simple tactic women use to basically check off in their head that you still want them. Basically quick validation. It makes them feel more confident slutting it up because you're a likely fallback.

Not saying that's EXACTLY what's going on, but it happens a ton.

>>16468232
>She still hasn't looked at my message yet
Could just be that she had a moment of weakness and sent you the pic, but later realized that it is over and she should not contact you in that way, because you both know it wont lead anywhere.

>So either way she is somehow thinking or wondering about me in some fashion?
Its normal, you are doing it too afaik, and it didnt promt you to send her any messages before.

Best bet is to just sit tight, get out, meet new people. By being alone at home, your toughts will constantly drift to her and you will get into this loop of sorrow, were you cant be happy without thinking about her. And all this because you have a problem letting go.

Do yourself a favor and stop thinking about this, and try to go out meet your friends and do some other activities to take your mind of this.

>>16468240
Ya. I feel like something like that is going on. Oh well, I only sent a simple picture back. I'm not going to beat myself up for being a decent guy expecting the most of people.

>>16468241
Thanks, yeah. Maybe it was a moment of weakness and she changed her mind. I'm really not sure at this point, if she was testing me, missed me, still will respond, or what, but I guess I should just keep doing what I was doing.

Last night I finally deleted her skypes and everything and I actually felt better. I just got to get back to that. Screw this. Yeah, I'll try and not think about it too much.

DO NOT SEEK THE TREASURE

DO NOT RESPOND

YOU UNFRIENDED HER FOR A REASON

BLOCK HER AND MOVE ON

>>16468246
Ugh.
It's so hard not to at least be curious.

I'm fighting myself to not message her later tonight, if she doesn't respond, just being like 'wat was up with that?' ...i'm really curious... I just feel like a fool now sending back a pic of my face, like her pic. I should have just sent a pic of my desk or whatever.

And what If I wanted to get back together with her and I just ruined my shot by sending a pic back, instead of playing it cool?

Fuck, this sucks, but I have to relax I think. I accepted last night that it is over. I need to remember that.

>>16468251
mate you have been posting this thread over and over again for the last month.

You really got to accept that its over and move on, this ever now and again communication is only opening the wound again.

We've told you over and over, cease contact or you'll be in this constant cycle until one of you moves on. THATS when it'll really hurt like hell.

>>16468251
:|

can u fucking not

youre only impeding your own healing

>>16468271
Yeah, do you know which guy I am?
This is the first time she's contacted me though, so it's the first time I'm posting this particular one. I understand though...

>cycle until one of you moves on
Again maybe you're thinking of someone else. I had always thought til maybe this point that she has moved on, she never contacted me before now.

>>16468278
You're right.
I won't touch it. Fine, I sent a pic back. Whatever. Won't touch it now.

Thanks guys. I think i'll be fine. Almost glad in a way she 'reached out'. If she's too chicken to respond again, fuck it. Will block.

>>16468281
I almost want to add another message saying 'dont bother looking at the pic' or whatever.
But I assume I should just leave it.

>>16468244
> I'm not going to beat myself up for being a decent guy expecting the most of people.


THIS. And you shouldn't. We live in a world where people are instructed to be cold and manipulative and all-around shitty. If you act with no-ill will and genuine intentions, fuck feeling bad for what you do, ever.

I know I'm blowing this post up but it's something I wish I could scream from the mountaintops.

>>16468279
You've been using the same image each time, yes I'm sure you're the same guy.

You had mentioned in previous threads how you didn't think it could work because of distance. BUT in anycase, you should stop trying to flip flop over your decision. She is most likely contacting you out of weakness and responding will only hurt yourself and her further.

IF you really want her, go for it. But make a decision because we can't tell you how to act in this situation. You have do what you feel is the right move.

>>16468286
Haha, no, thank you, I needed to hear that. You're right.

I'm not going to feel bad, you're right.
I'm going to breathe and just relax. I shouldn't even care what she thinks of my response, whatever. I just need to think about myself.

>>16468293
You're right, ha. I appreciate it.
To be honest, I don't think I've been flip flopping too hard. I've been trying to move on yea but, the whole time I've been saying how I miss her and just want to talk to her or at least be friends, in a way. At least have some conversation and a little more closure... I've been moving on out of necessity, really.

>But make a decision because we can't tell you how to act in this situation
That's true, I understand.
I don't even think it will get to that point though. I think this picture was just a picture.

The worst would be if she doesnt even open the picture at ALL ever. What if sending the pic really was an accident, and she like, deleted me after, which is why she isn't opening it?
Damnit. Well...either way by tonight I'll just block her if she doesn't open it...

>>16468324
What's really confusing me now is that I had deleted her, but it shows her on my friend list now; I guess because I replied to her?

But now, when I hover over her name, it doesn't show her "snap score", which leads me to think that I'm not on HER friends list now. Which is fucking weird since she just sent me a snap, but maybe she like, deleted me right after or something, which is why she isn't opening mine...

What the fuck?

>>16468361
Well fuck.

Pretty sure I can't see her score on snapchat because she has deleted me.
This is why she isn't opening the snap, she isn't receiving it.

So what the fuck. Did she message me by accident? Did she block after her moment of weakness?

I fucking knew it was too good to be true. Was hoping for at least a quick catch up.
Why the fuck did she send that? I was doing fine.

Maybe she wanted to rub it in, send it so I see that she deleted me. I don't fucking know.

>>16468382
Well it says "Delivered" instead of "Sent" if that means anything (means it went through to her phone I think? idfk.)

Would it be bad to just message her asking if it was meant for me?

Sorry for the spamming...

Ya, I'm sure she deleted me...

Why would she do this? Send me a 'cute' pic saying hi? Then deleting soon after before she gets my response?

>>16468405
>>16468445
Holy stop dude
Talk shit with some of your friends

>>16468454
Gotcha, thanks

This sucks.

Wondering if she did that to bring to my attention that she deleted me...

Update

Well, she opened it.
This means I guess she didn't delete me? Or something. But either way, ya...no response lol... knew it.

Oh well. I knew it was a long shot.
Fuck it then.

>>16468533
I'm thinking of messaging her saying "Did you mean to send that to me?"
to which shell prob say No lol.
And ill say "Well its nice to see youre looking good...goodbye", and then block her, forever...

Good idea?

>>16468514
>>16468533
Unless she was always sketchy and manipulative, stop listening to /r9k/. She probably just doesn't know how to handle the breakup either. She has all her own worries and thoughts about it. She could be overthinking messaging you the same way you're overthinking responding.

>>16468553
True, you're right...
I'll try and not think so negatively at least.
Thank you.

Still debating if I message her now ;\

>>16468555
Don't.
Dude, I was in every thread of yours lately and pretty much everyone, including me, told you to stop and cut contact completely. Why don't you listen to perfectly sound advice?
You keep saying "you are right, I'll do that" and then another of your threads pops up some time later revealing you did not.
You are hung up on this, but as you were told the last time already, this is not going to work.
So either follow the advice and finally cut all contact (doesn't mean just delete her info, it means cut all contact, block her if necessary) or don't and see how that will turn out.
People stop responding to your threads because they are tired of you not listening, not doing as you say you would. They are getting annoyed and that's why you also got a lot less replies from a lot less people this time and also why the ones who replied here at first pretty much stopped as well.
Stop being the anxious child you seem like in today's posts. I actually kind of liked you after the last time, you seemed like a sensible guy willing to take the advice and do what was necessary.

>>16468576
Lol, thanks; sorry, I dont want it to seem like Im not taking sound advice.

I have been. I deleted her off snap, I deleted her off skype, I deleted tons of shit.

I just hadn't blocked her, because I didn't think she would even message me...

So, I have been taking the advice, this is just something unexpected.

I continue to plan to take the good advice here which is why I am posting. It is always appreciated it, trust me. I am following the advice.

>>16468587
Yeah, I've decided I'm just going to block her.

At least she will likely see that. I'll get some closure there.

Thanks. Again, may have messaged her if I didnt make this thread. Also, this was not something I discussed in the previous threads - I had no idea id get a message from her, didnt know how to react, had not asked for advice on that matter.

Thanks everyone.

>>16468587
The deleting part was good.
Not blocking her wasn't a big mistake.
But when she did message you, you should have just blocked her and that's where you did not go through with the advice you said you were following. That's where things went wrong.
Now you can either block her, which seems a little weird after messaging her, or you can go on and keep in contact.
But honestly, who cares if it looks a little weird to her? You are cutting contact after all, so she can think whatever she wants to think about it.

I worded my last response a little stronger, because today you seemed like needing a wake up call of some kind. You weren't this anxious and overthinking last time and I don't think you normally are. So just take this as a light slap in the face for you to come to your senses again.

File: image.jpg (140KB, 1280x851px)

140KB, 1280x851px

Look guy, you remind me of how I spent the good part of the first months following my numerous breakups with the same woman.

Do you want me to tell you a story?

>>16468614
Thanks, definitely appreciated.

Yeah I shouldnt have responded. I caved and it was weak. I don't know what I was thinking but it was the first time shes messaged me.

Now I will know better in the future if it happens again.

Ya i dont care if it looks weird, she is the one who messaged ME first, she is being the weird one in this situation.

>>16468620
Er, sure if you want to tell, thanks.

>>16468625
I like that response. You learned and stopped caring about what others, especially her, might think about it. Now you just need to do what is good for yourself and worry about that.
That's the way you should handle that kind of situation, but I know it can be hard if she messaged you first (had that same thing happen to me and I was dumb, turned into a roller coaster, never again).

>>16468647
Yeah, thank you.

I had been endlessly waiting for that message, that reaching out. And now that it "happened" (if it counts), and it happened not at all how I imagined, I think I can understand why replying at all is just a bad idea. I'll chalk it up as a lesson learned.

Thanks. Yeah, was definitely having trouble balancing trying to do whats best for me and her. But I just have to think about what is best for me. Even if she needs help or something.

Meh, already feeling a bit better. I won't let this little thing mess up the progress I'm making. I'll just forget it. Just a picture sent, nothing more. I didn't tell her I eternally love her still or anything.

Will move on and expect to never speak again as planned.

Just trying to think how to rationalize what happened today as a final goodbye.

Why did she send this? What does it imply that she sent it but won't respond? I guess she is just having her own difficulities?

Blah, moving on and accepting that I can't talk to her anymore, but now a whole new set of thoughts have entered my mind that I'll have to clear out..but that should be ok...hoping things get easier from this point on.

Alright, listen up.

I met the woman in question five years and some months ago. Just a summer fling to begin with. A few months later we became exclusive, and for the next 3 1/2 years I was suffering from oneitis.

The first time she broke up, I started to look into text gaming. I picked up on a few protips on how to get your ex back, primarily using text messages. This was 2 1/2 years ago around now. I didn't exactly get her back, as in we've been officially broken up since then, about three weeks later we continued to sleep with each other again, telling each other I love yous, etc. - but we kept it a secret (her family hates me.)

One year later, with a few on and offs, we broke it off again, because she cancelled a trip we were planning together. I went no contact for about 30 days, before we started to sleep with each other. I saw her more and more rarely, and spent most of my waking life waiting for texts, pondering what I should write her in order to get her over, and got a lot of the information about her whereabouts and what she's been up to via facebook and intagram. I let my whole life revolve around the next time I was going to see her. Some times I saw her 2-3 times a week, other times there were a few weeks in between each time. I became a wreck, and went into assessment of bipolarity, because of my mental state. Eventually I learnt that she was seeing some other dude, and I wrote her an email saying that what we had going, couldn't go on, and deleted her on facebook.

She had been planning to go backpacking in South East Asia for six months six week after this happened, and I just couldn't wait until she left. A few weeks later, I met her on the street. I kepy my cool, she asked for a hug and wanted to know how I was doing. She seemed somewhat distressed over seeing me, but we both went our seperate ways in good manner. Obviously I had a minor meltdown afterwards, but I continued on. She started to send me texts, but I didn't respond.

(cont.)

(cont.)

The reason I got into the mess I was in, was not so much her behaviour, but the fact that I obsessed over every minute sign and wording, both incoming and outgoing. I was hooked on my love for this woman, but she wasn't able to provide what I needed from her. In her eyes, I was being somewhat aloof, due to my cool text game, and so didn't think it actually meant that much to me whether we hooked up or not. On my hand, nonetheless, my world broke apart each time it turned out she wasn't going to make it to events we said we'd possibly meet at. Getting out of this hook was my reason for going no contact, and I feared it was going to be a long process.

Fast forward a couple of more weeks, and her birthday was coming up. Long story short, she wanted to meet, couldn't understand how I could cut her out just like that, some back and forths about the whys and hows, and on her birthday I wished her well, and promised I wasn't going to suddenly show up. But then I went and got drunk and suddenly showed up. Her friends were furious, threw a glass over water at my mate, stood guard next to the bar, in case I started heading over to their table, the works. I didn't see her, I didn't look for her, and after the club closed for the night, I headed home - only to have her run after me, asking me "what is it with you that makes it impossible for me to stay away?" We both broke down, talked and made love for three hours. She broke up with the other guy she was seeing, came and saw me one last time the following weekend, and we said that we love each other, but since she was going away for six months, and I needed to get a hold of myself, we weren't going to stay in touch during that time.

She left the following day. Texted me on Christmas Eve, New Years Day, which I responded to, but felt was wrong since she was having fun half way around the world with other people.

Although she left with loving words, saying she's forever mine, I felt betrayed.


(cont.)

(cont.)

Then she texted randomly in the middle of January, which I only responded to by commenting "no shit" on a public photo of her in a bikini. Felt cheeky at first, then felt remorse. i wanted to disappear.

I decided I wasn't going to look her up any more. A few weeks went by, and then I recieved a wall of text from her on whatsapp. She told me she knows she loves me, that her heart has belonged to me from the day we met, and that she was sorry for everything. It was Valentine's Day. and I felt as if she practically proposed to me.
I spent two weeks writing a several pages long email, basically saying that it's all or nothing. I never heard from her.

I got cleared from the Bipolar clinic, but went into assessment of depressive disorder. A few months later I heard that she met someone on her trip. I had already stopped my dryspell by then, and a few weeks later I started seeing someone regularly, which lasted about two months. I grew less and less attached, but all in all it took me about eight months to fully get over her, from the time she left. I woke up one day and realised that I had let her go. I hadn't been thinking about her, and I didn't care where she was, and I certainly didn't suffer from oneitis anymore.

And then she breaks up with the guy she met. She lives 30 minutes drive from me. She started reaching out again, and this time I knew I could take it or leave it. So one day I went over uninvited. Stayed the night, and I've been fucking her for about six weeks now.

Stil, if there are periods of a few days where we aren't talking, I get a bit anxious. She's like the perfect drug.
But I know that I can't keep worrying. I can't keep planning stuff. And I certainly can't let text messages mean anything. It wil mess me up if I let that shit influence my day.

Every time I've been with her, I need to consider the possibility of it being the last.

I don't recommend this to anyone, because there's no limit to how far it can be dragged out.

Get it?

>>16468875
I do get it.... I do. I already feel that way with each tiny conversation, that it will be our last.

I dont want to get stuck in that loop.
Fuck it, idk why she sent that pic but im staying the course. No relapses. Were over.

>>16468875
Everyone who has ever had a serious relationship gets it. This shit is nothing new. Relationships suck.

>>16468875
Again much appreciated for typing out your story

>>16468898
Yeah lol
Whatever, its really getting time to move on.

Ill chalk today off as her having a moment of weakness and renegging it. Fine. No big deal.
Time to say goodbye.

>>16468889
The point is YOU get to decide why she sent it. You give your own reasons. What you do from now on, is the outcome of her sending it, and your initial reaction is what you needed to waste your day thinking about it - which is a good indicator that it's not a good idea to react in affect to anything she does. Consider it a story, consider her fictional, make up the rest of the story, close the book. It doesn't matter whether her book and your is the same book, because you're not going to read her version of it.

Relationships don't suck, but breakups do.
They're called breakups because it's broken.

>>16468946
Thanks a lot, yeah.

That is basically why I've decided against messaging her, asking if it was meant for me.

I don't even want to know. She'd likely say 'no it was for someone else' anyways, whether its a lie or not.

So I'll rationalize things how I want and continue moving on. I'll remember everything happily as I was.

I like your analogy of the book. You are right. I won't be reading hers. So I'll make sure to leave mine as bright as possible. And that's all I can really do. Until I start the next book.

Thanks a lot everyone.
I'm glad I got this 'false hope' thing out of the way today. Now I know better.

>>16468946
Honestly, this post is helping a ton.

I really just have to stay in my own mind. I can't get inside hers. So what I have to do is put my own mind to peace. I can connect the dots I want to.

Thanks so much everyone. I know I've been posting quite a bit.
I'm feeling a good cry when I get home from work today. Then the start a brand new week.

Life is short. I'm going to be excited about the future. Thank you everyone.

>>16468987
Family ITT

To elaborate on my story; when my lover had sent her whatsapp text, and I finished my email to her, I was already well into letting go of her. Although I loved her still, I devided to stick with the part about her story that involved her being with other guys. I felt sorry for her, in a way, because I knew that she would eventually be the one missing out. I was on my way to become greater than I've ever been. Obviously I'm still working on it, and coming to /adv has been cathartic for me. Not because I seek out advice, but because I'm at a stage now where I've learn a hell of a lot - enough to provide insight to others.
What I found by letting go of my ex, is that there isn't a center in her that my loves revolves around. My love is my own, and it doesn't really matter if she wants to attached herself to it or not. I will be alright at the end of the day.

These crude little matters of who sent who texts is just our feeble minds trying to make sense of something that is beyond thought, What matters is that you are in perfect control of where your power lies. If you ever experience a weak moment, where you lose sight of where it's at, that okay to. It's important to accept the emotions you got. Celebrate the fact that you are capable of feeling, even if you experience it as something deeply frustration. Breath deep, and let it flow through. If you're open enough, the feeling won't find anything to stick to.

Welcome, accept and let go.
In another life, we will be winging each other, anon.

>>16469030
Thanks so much. It means a lot to me reading your replies.

I am glad you are able to have a cathartic experience helping others, that is great. I know what you mean; I've tried to help others cope with their initial heartbroken feelings as I have recently.

>My love is my own
>our feeble minds trying to make sense of something that is beyond thought
>What matters is that you are in perfect control of where your power lies
>Celebrate the fact that you are capable of feeling

I will take all of those words to heart. It means a lot to read.
Would love to be winging each other in another life bro.

Welp... deleted.

Blocked.

Deleted again.

Now unless she makes some new fucking username and goes through the hassle... I will not be hearing from her. No "accidental snaps" or "tests" or even remorse on her end if that is the case. No more wondering.

I'll never forget what we had.
I wish you the best.

Sigh
Wish me luck senpais
:).

>>16469247
The most important epiphany I got during my letting go, was "I don't have to do this anymore! I'm free!"

I am my own luck.
I am my own good fortune.
I am my life of love.

Will to be great.
Now is the only time when my I AM is.

>>16469278
Thank you once more.

You are right. I'm being silly still lookin through threads about ex's just trying to cope some more. But you're right. I just need to get to a point where I feel free.

I think it will come soon. I'm feeling better.

I read a similar quote to what you said about "Now is the only time when my I AM is".

Something like, "2 days it's impossible to do anything on is yesterday, and tomorrow, making today the only day you can make a difference." or something.

Great quote.
Great advice everybody. I'm seriously feeling stronger and better now that I blocked her and learned to let go a little bit more.

Thanks everybody.

>>16469285
It's time you stopped browsing for a while.
You're not the only one that needs help with this, but you will find better quality of inspiration elsewhere on the web, although there's comfort in crowds.

Watch this if you ever have to. It changed my life, and I will most likely follow it's principals for the rest of my life.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=psBuPo1ez0M

>>16469308
Great, thank you.
I agree i'll at least take a break from browsing. Clear my mind.

I saved the link. I may watch it tonight or save it for when I need it. I have a feeling it'll be something good to watch tonight and start fresh.

Thank you.
I'm definitely feeling more ready.
I can do this.
I'll come back in a while, hopefully with a better perspective so I can help.