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So my girlfriend told me she was "raped" a few years

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So my girlfriend told me she was "raped" a few years back (before we even met) but I just don't know if her story could be considered raped.

She told me she had a friend that was obsessed with her but she wouldn't sleep with him. One day, he showed up to her house drunk to talk to her but she didn't want to talk to him, but let him inside the house anyways. Once she got tired of listening to him, she pretended to go to sleep to see if he would shut up and leave. Instead, he took down her pants and fucked her while she pretended to be asleep. She was awake the whole time crying while he was fucking her, but she never told him no or stop. He finished, got dressed and left her pretending to be sleeping in bed.

Is this rape or is this girl psycho?
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>>16465281
>girl psycho
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I guess you've never heard of "yes means yes". This is now the law in New York State.

Unless sex is between two CONSENTING adults, the act is rape.
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>>16465281
Think of it from her perspective, a friend whom she trusted was willing to take advantage of her thinking she was sleeping. That's fucking sick, and she was probably too scared to say or do anything because, realistically, if this guy was willing to take advantage of her like that, who knows what he might have done if she tried to force him off.

So ya, I would consider that rape. Rape isn't always rough and holding a girl (or guy) down and 'forcing' them, it's mainly mental and the idea behind just taking something that isn't yours without any hint of consent. It's fucking disgusting and fucks you up mentally.
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I dunno retard.

What's there to figure out.

Stop being such a cunt. You know that wasn't a "rape"

Why are you in a relationshit with that nutjob anyway? I wonder in what kinda ways your fucked in the head you people attract each other like magnets.

Please do not breed with this bitch OP, please do not breed at all as it would be unfair to the dysfunctional little shits and the society you shit them out upon.
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>>16465281
Lawyer here. That's very clearly rape. The girl might also be psycho, but that doesn't mean she wasn't raped.
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>>16465281
R U N
U
N
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>>16465297
you bring up a very good argument, but it just turns me off the fact she put up 0 resistance, and let him inside the house to begin with

>>16465301
to me it doesn't sound like rape. I mean TECHNICALLY by definition, it is rape, but she is also a psycho for putting up no effort to avoid the situation by letting him inside the house.

>>16465305
that is what i am thinking
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>>16465318
She probably just didn't think he was capable of something like that, and her 'friend' was drunk off his ass. I mean, I wouldn't let my friend walk or drive home if they were drunk off their ass, I would let them sleep at my house.

And as for no resistance, well, girls aren't like guys. We hate confrontation, and yes, we are fucking cowards a lot of the time. And like I said, if this guy was willing to fuck her without consent, he was probably willing to BEAT her if she tried to say no. You have to keep that in mind as well, especially if the girl isn't very big or strong. She would get her fucking ass kicked by a man and possibly have some bones broken as well.

If it were me, I would have just grit my teeth through it too for fear of getting the shit beaten out of me. Course, I'm not her nor would I ever keep shitty friends around me like that, and I have a gun next to my bed because people are fucking crazy.
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she would of been in shock, she got raped end of
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>>16465281
Sounds like a tall story desu. That said, if it was true she's still batshit for letting him do that without even protesting.

>>16465338
Not even a "what the fuck are you doing" when he started fumbling with her pants?
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>>16465338
>fear of getting the shit beaten out of m
OP never mentioned she was fearful of her friend harming her guess that is your assumption.

I get if he had threatened her or roughed her up but he didn't. They piled up in bed he made a move, she didn't stop him so he proceeded. Simply because she was crying doesn't mean anything other than she was not asleep.
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How is that not rape? If you were a defenseless girl and a guy obsessed with you was drunk you'd be reasonably scared to say no because he might end up attacking at you

Your girlfriend is also stupid they shouldn't hang out with guys at all especially not unstable drug users that are obsessed with her.

Dump her. She's spoiled.
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>>16465281
She just pretended to fall asleep and let him fuck her... Something is wrong with her obviously, must be a basket case, because normal person would try to run away or fight.

I wouldn't build a relationship with this person, she sounds crazy af, and if she was really raped, she's also damaged and will always be a bit psycho. Break up with her and find yourself a normal girl.
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>>16465388
if you were frightened of them why pretend to fall asleep beside them. You get the fuck up and call some other friend and start chatting.
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>>16465281
does she still talk to this guy or did she continue to see him after they fucked
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>>16465367
That's what happens when your scared and go into shock, you can't move. You can't talk. You can barely even think, and it takes a huge fucking mental push from yourself to make your body do ANYTHING.
>>16465372
It doesn't matter if he never did anything before, the very fact that he would take advantage of her in her sleep was enough to put her in a state of shock and she became too scared to do anything. Believe it or not, there are people that get so scared that they literally freeze up and can't do or say anything.

And even if she could say no, or what are you doing, and chose not too, it in no way excuses what he did. You DO NOT take advantage of someone like that, period. He didn't know that she wasn't asleep, there for he raped her.
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>>16465401
>fall asleep beside them

That's not what happened, she went to bed and then HE came over and started fucking her.
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>>16465420
she pretended sleep because he wouldn't shut the fuck up. Same room, same space
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>>16465428
Does that make it right?

Have you not partied with people before? Most of the time everyone passes out in the same room, that doesn't mean anyone sneaks into someones bed and fucks them while they are passed out.
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>>16465432
she wasn't "out" she told OP she was crying. I know no one that cries in their sleep
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>>16465438
BUT THE GUY DIDN'T KNOW

He had sex with her THINKING that she was asleep, WITHOUT asking first or even trying to get her to wake up and reciprocate, how the fuck are you even arguing with this?
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>>16465432
you're kidding right? last weekend everybody over and crashes on the floor of the living room and I awaken and see a dude eating pussy, she was awake and enjoying but doubt she had any idea or cared who that mouth was attached to
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>>16465452
how can you not know the chick was crying? OP's girls story has holes in it and she needs to think it through better when she tells it the next time
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>>16465457
That is completely different. She was awake and consenting, not trying to push him away or so blacked out drunk that she wasn't responding at all.

It's fucking sickening thinking about how many of you retards are out there running around without a clear idea of what consent means.
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>>16465463
Are you fucking kidding me? Not everyone cries loudly, and when your that fucking scared, fuck no your not going to make noise while crying. Maybe a slight spasm from sucking in breath, but do you think a drunk guy fucking her is going to notice that? No he's too busy fucking.

My god you are a fucking idiot and I hope you end up in jail.
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Invites a drunk man to her house, he shows absolutely 0 forcefulness, she puts up 0 resistanceanyways, she pretends to be asleep.

NOT rape. Not anywhere outside the US/UK, at least.

How she FEELS is irrelevant, her actions already expressed consent.
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>>16465406
She stopped talking to him and told him if he ever tried to contact her again she would call the police. When i asked her why didn't she just report him to begin with she said "because aside from raping me he is a really nice and sweet guy and I don't wanna ruin his life."

And yes her story does have holes, like why go lay down in a bed with a guy you know is drunk? Cuz basically she didnt clarify why she went to bed, and why she let him follow to the room, and then suppousedly he wouldn't stop talking and she pretended to go to sleep and so on. Few things don't add up.

I think I'm better off without her.
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>>16465428
>she pretended sleep because he wouldn't shut the fuck up.
It's a tough choice. Listen to drunk whining or get raped.
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>>16465488
>Invites a drunk man to her house, he shows absolutely 0 forcefulness, she puts up 0 resistanceanyways, she pretends to be asleep.

Also

>goes to bed
>on her own terms
>in her own house
>while he's awake
>but she doesn't lock the door

She knew damn well what she was getting into.

Just another regret-induced fake-rape which make a mockery of real (and incredibly rare) rape cases.
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>>16465475
you're taking a lot of liberty in embellishing her story
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>>16465493
yeah you're better off without her and I don't believe she didn't talk to him again he is after all a really nice and sweet guy
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>>16465493
I want to add that one time we were at a tv show and movies convention and the guy (who raped her) happened to be there, she found out from a friend. I told her let's look for him because I wanted to confront him and call him out on it.

She refused to let me talk to him and rushed us to leave.
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PROTIP: every time someone's signature story is told, it becomes a little bit more flattering to the one telling it.
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Dude this story doesn't make any sense.
She most likely got drunk too, had sex with him, and regretted afterwards.
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>>16465501
>>16465488

Let me add to that since OP is still here. Take a lesson for life:

1) If a girl is lying about her "rape" for pity/attention/enjoyment in playing the victim, she's a fucking psycho and you'll never know if her next victim might be you. Maybe she'll call the cops on you next time she "feel unsafe" or just because you have an argument. She's a sociopath, accept it, drop her and move on.

2) If a girl is not lying about her rape, she's got too much psychological baggage already, and you aren't going to be the one to fix her. She's broken, accept it, drop her and move on.

Your case is obviously #1.

Learn from this. If a girl, at any point in a relationship, mentions she was raped, it's not worth it finding out if it's true or not. Kill your feelings, cut your losses, don't fall for the sunk-cost fallacy, move on and find a new girl.
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>>16465523
exactly OP. An ex told me a guy had sex with her and she didn't remember anything, I mean she swore anything and as her story went on she said she didn't feel it and it may not have even happened. Problem for her was a mutual friend told me she literally pulled some dude to the bedroom with her tongue down his throat and pawing at his belt. Hmmm
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>>16465523
>I want to add that one time we were at a tv show and movies convention and the guy (who raped her) happened to be there, she found out from a friend. I told her let's look for him because I wanted to confront him and call him out on it.

>She refused to let me talk to him and rushed us to leave.

She's waving these huge red flags and you still haven't left? She's lying, she knows it and she's trying to cover her ass.

You're her beta bitch or what? Why do you put up with this? "B b but I love her"?
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People who want to escape responsibility for their actions will take special care to insert excuses into their stories, and that the excuses are offered up front and center without being prompted, as if they know the story would make them look bad if the story didn't have the excuses already built-in.

Yes, op, you are dating a slut and a psycho.
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>>16465524
This. Every girl has a rape story like every guy has a fight story and they're all 80% bullshit.
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>>16465534
Definitly. She has already made herself the victim in the relationship in a few situations regarding sex I'm not gonna bother going into but you can probably imagine. Tbh I kinda tried to save her but it's like you said, i can't save her.

>>16465544
I mean, maybe I do maybe I don't love her, but no I am no beta fag with oneitis, I'm running for the hills trust me.

>>16465553
She does have some slut tendencies so I like how you picked that out just from the story.
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So she created the entire situation and is using plausible deniability to deny the sex was consensual?

Next her fast before you become the next rapist.
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>hurrdurr 4chan is this bait no i mean rape-
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>>16465558
>like every guy has a fight story
i dont have one
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>>16465606
keep talking and I'll give you one, little bitch
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>>16465609
>keep talking and I'll give you one, little bitch
sorry to rustle your jimmies man
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>>16465606
But you're not really a "guy", anon, more like a brother to me.

:^)
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>>16465281
Instant red flag Anon, if she claims to be raped but she wasn't "raped" in the sense that she said no while in a sound state of mind then she is a regret rape victim, in short she was legally raped, but she could have stopped him, said no, screamed and ultimately stopped it from happening.

My exgf was "raped" after letting a guy into her flat and promising to fuck him, he started taking her clothes off, she did and said nothing and let him fuck her without protection, then she fucked his best friend the next evening, she told me this and I said "its ok" and gave her a day to get over it, then I broke up with her because I couldn't see things working out.
If it is true, or even if it isn't, she will have physical contact issues and may be prone to crying rape, my ex did after I broke up with her and it cost me a work contract because I couldn't leave the country while being investigated.
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OP I'm a dude and I was raped in a similar manner by a female friend who was on some insane medication.

I just laid there and let her do her thing. I was too depressed and apathetic to tell her no for the 20th time, and I was deathly afraid of what she'd do after I denied her again. You have no idea how much I feared this schizophrenic chick. I was afraid of shit like her pulling a knife on me or distorting it into me raping her or something. But it was definitely me at my weakest point. I fucked up by letting her into my house, letting her stay over, falling for her guilt tripping (which lead me into OK'ing her to stay over) and just generally being afraid of her neurotic ass. After the deed was done I felt "dirty" and I was surprised that the dirty feeling was indeed real.

It took me a while to be able to be intimate with females after that. To me it sounds like your gf is trying to move beyond all her shit by actually sharing her story. If she's been a good girlfriend so far, then you have no reason to worry. Sharing shit is just part of healing. If she's been a shitty girlfriend then yeah she's probably lying and manipulating you. You should be able to tell at this point.
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>>16465629
>I just laid there and let her do her thing

You weren't raped either, regardless of your feelings.
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>>16465609
>>16465614
In 5 years you'll be recounting this exchange as you alphaing some faggot who wanted a fight in a bar.
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If she didn't attempt to resist, or retreat, or even express her discontent despite there being no ostensible risk to her person, it wasn't rape. Fuck all the armchair lawyers and certified legal parasites proselytizing their inane postmodern jurisprudential philosophies ITT: if at no point during this affair she simply walked away, then she was complicit in the act. Period.

You, OP, should run while you still can. The millennial witchhunt against male sexuality is among the most treacherous pitfalls available to contemporary western men. Any woman who subscribes to such twisted notions of personal culpability is a danger to your future.
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>>16465649
/thread
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>>16465630
I forgot rape was a meme word now.

Just replace it with "violated" then.

I forgot how weird people get over that word's usage.
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>>16465661
You weren't violated either. You did not stop her, you gave her consent.
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Both. The answer is "both."
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>>16465630
>You weren't raped either, regardless of your feelings.
"YES MEANS YES" you asshat
Unless he consented, he was raped.
And "regardless of your feelings" means you don't get it at all. Probably never will. Until you have a daughter, maybe.
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>>16465707
He's right you know, shitlords. Unless you receive a signed charter 69 days in advance of the act before the learned council of empowered womyn, every sexual encounter you ever had was RAAAAAAAAAAAPEEE
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literately to lazy to say no

if she didn't want it she would have got up, but then she just layed there, pretending to sleep, then regretted it later

she's psycho
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It's a weird situation, but she didn't consent, and the man thought she was sleeping. It's rape. However, I don't know why the hell she wouldn't say anything, unless this guy scared her somehow. Even a "what are you doing?" would be something.
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>>16465744
>but she didn't consent,
Yes she did, by creating the situation and not resisting even though there was no coercion or threat whatsoever.

>and the man thought she was sleeping.
You don't know that, stop spinning the situation.
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many woman use rape as an excuse to get sympathy and pity

even if they liked the sex
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>>16465393
I dunno, OP said the guy was drunk, and some people are really scary if they're drunk and upset/mad.

Coming from someone who had an abusive mom, curling up into a ball while she yelled/hit me was my only sensible defense. Didn't really want to hit my mom, just wanted her to go away.

But I say it wasn't rape at all. She didn't even say "Stop." She didn't try at all. However, she also didn't say "yes," so I'm sure a lawyer could easily file it down as rape in court to get the bucks.

I wonder, under what circumstance did your gf tell you this story, OP? Was she trying to weasel out of something or make an excuse for a problem in your relationship?
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>>16465534

I'm usually not one to white-knight, but this is pretty damn cold. What would you do if you were in a relationship with a girl already, and she got raped? You'd just drop her?

You realize not all girls are "broken" by rape, right? Bad shit happens to people all the time, lots of us get past it and move on to perfectly normal, happy, productive lives. You must lead a really sheltered life if you've gotten this far with that "it's broken, throw it away" mindset about people.

How would you handle something like cancer, or a serious injury, if it happened to your girlfriend? Plug your ears and run for the hills and keep pretending it's never going to happen to you?
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>>16465828
Whether she's broken on or is entirely up to her. Women 200 years ago faced rape as an eventuality most of them would face, unless they were nobility. They sucked up, and moved on with their lives, because they had people to feed.

Women nowadays exploit all the attention they get from it, and even the ones that are really raped often are weak minded enough to let this event traumatize them for life and make them unfit for relationships/jobs/life in general.

Amongst the several fallacies in your post, the biggest one is
>How would you handle something like cancer, or a serious injury
Those things ruin lives and make a person truly broken. Rape does not if the victim doesn't allow it to.

If she can't resume being a functional person by herself, that's not emotional baggage I'll put up with.

>boohoo cold hearted
Well, I'll let you be Capain-Save-A-Rape-Victim then, good luck.
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Sounds to me like she allowed someone to fuck him and then regretted it.
A lot of idiots will say ''SHE WAS RAPED! SHE WAS SCARED! OH GOD SO BAD!''. The truth is that she wasn't raped. It may have been weird, but she wanted it to happen. As soon as the dude was taking her pants off she decided that she wanted to have sex. All she had to do was say no or push him away. The dude wasn't on her going ''I AM GOING TO RAPE YOU, BITCH!!!''. He wanted to get laid so he tested the waters seeing how far he can get before the girl protests.
Just imagine what would happen if a guy pretended to be asleep and allowed a little girl to suck his cock. That guy would be jailed for life.
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>>16465338
Give me your address. I will go ask you some money since you're an autistic loser
>gibe me 5 bucks
>''OH GOD! HE'S ROBBING ME! OH GOD! WHAT DO I DO?''
>gibe 5 bucks
>''SHOULD I SAY NO??? NOO!! I NEED TO SAY YES! HE WILL BEAT ME IF I DON'T!
>gibe moni
>''Y-y-yes, s-sir''
>K, thanks
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>>16465828
I think people just get so assmad over the meme status of words like "rape" and "consent" that they can't even talk about the subject properly anymore.

Your second paragraph is pretty spot on though. Bad shit just happens to people. If someone close to you trusts you enough to actually confide in you, then you should probably listen. It will only help them out.

When they start telling EVERYONE about their past pain then yeah they're attention whoring. OP's gf isn't doing this, so he has no reason to mistrust her.
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>>16465864

I think you missed my point entirely, agreed with me without meaning to, and then said a bunch of other dumb shit that cements my image of you as a sheltered loudmouth who has never experienced significant hardship of any kind
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>>16465281
>Is this rape or is this girl psycho?
probably both
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>>16465281
the only thing we can say for sure is she has a weak personality.

what follows that kind of trait is up to you to find out.

spolier: nothing good will happen.

maybe im wrong, though. more probable im not
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Our laws regarding rape in Germany are pretty sound and as long as he really thought she was sleeping, he did rape her even by our laws, not just the fucked up American/UK ones.
However, even a slight protest would have very, very, very likely made him stop. Any guy has a much bigger mental barrier against just plain raping someone fighting back/saying no than having sex with someone not putting up any resistance whatsoever, not even complaining about it.
She could have probably easily prevented this from happening. She also didn't file charges "because he is a nice guy". That's not how a rape victim talks about her rapist. She doesn't want to ruin his life? If she honestly feels raped, he kind of ruined hers.
Dump her, she is psycho, although legally she was possibly also raped.

Also what someone else said about rape ruining your life if you let it only is true.
Women in Germany were raped en masse by Soviet and American soldiers, most of the time repeatedly, and very violently (more so by Soviets, don't know about Brits). They watched their daughters getting raped too, plenty of times to death.
Most of them sucked it up, went home to care for their fatherless families and rebuilt a whole damn country destroyed by the war.
It's really about your mental strength and not just letting everything destroy you. I think we got a lot softer as a whole.
Also read the stories of actual rape victims, the ones you can find, because they don't tend to share that often. You will find they are fundamentally different from all this "everything but a clear yes is rape"/"if I regret it, I can say it's rape later on, whenever I want" and also fundamentally different from OP's girlfriend's story. Especially their reactions and how they tell things.
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>tfw no gf to exchange rape stories with

I've been through it myself, so I know it isn't all a load of bullshit.

It's a heavy topic but it's still interesting to see how we guys react to it.
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>>16465281
She did that as a means of removing herself from the mental conflict she would have of whoring herself out willingly. This way, she can tell people like the song goes... "Itwasntme!"
>>
All these guys are a bunch of insensitive, no experience betas who do not know what they are talking about. Anyone who says "she could have just gotten up and walked away" or "if she didn't say no she obviously wanted it" are all making decisions on what they would have done in the situation. The big problem with that is that SHE is not any of THEM. Not all girls are as strong willed as others dumbasses
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>>16465523
are you a fucking idiot? not every rape victim wants to face their rapist. Especially not have their boyfriend confront them in a public setting.
That's fucking terrifying just fuck off and die already OP
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>>16465534
she didn't even call the cops on the guy tho
do you read bro?
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>>16465558
i've never heard of this
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>>16465671
lmao he didn't say yes you fucking idiot
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>>16465864
yes, let us excuse rape because women in the olden days got over it!! not as if it's completely barbaric and just because those women "got over" these rapes doesn't mean they weren't suffering internally.
I mean, if you were there and talked to these women, I'd love to hear how they overcame it.
This whole mentality argument is so fucking stupid because you act like you have never let something that really hurt you get to you. It's called being a human being and having feelings.
When you're violated, it hurts you. You're going to have emotional baggage, you're going to be different afterwards.
honestly my advice for you specifically is to get the fuck over yourself you spoiled bitch
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>>16466057
hello, you've obviously never been in a situation like this.
Many rape victims have reasons as to why they don't report their rape.
If it was someone they didn't know, they're more likely to report. but when it's someone you know and you know their life, it's harder.
I've known countless women who didn't report their rape/molestation because it was done by a family member and no one wants to fuck up their family like that. it's incredibly scary to know that you were the person who broke up the family and just perpetuates the self blame.
At the end of the day the rape victim decides what is best for them and how they want to handle the situation.
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>>16466824
That's their problem if they are weak or stupid.
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>>16466829
You sound like such a wonderful person.
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>>16465281

> Was it rape

Technically yeah, but the girl is still clearly fucked in the head for just pretending to sleep the entire time

So the answer to "Is this rape or is this girl psycho" is yes, and yes

Dump that shit, you don't need that kind of bullshit in your life
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>>16466829
you must have really strong relationships with women
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>>16465534
kill urself my man
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>>16465297
>hurrrr who knows what he might have done?!?!!?!
>yes all men are homicidal rapists who are completely unpredictable!!!!!!!!!
>all men WILL kill a woman if she expressly resists intercourse or otherwise sexual contact!!!
>this is fact!!!!!!!

Jesus H. Christ I hate people like you with a burning passion. Here's a newsflash for you buddy, if she didn't resist, didn't even fucking SAY STOP, then IT'S NOT RAPE.

Rape is absolutely meaningless unless it refers to forcible sex against a person's will. The retarded feministic legal system can say that a person must verbally affirm all they want in order for it to be consensual, but reality is not so autistic, no one fucking agrees that they're going to have sex. If a woman has not vocalised a 'no', then she has not had her will violated. You cannot fucking predicate legality upon absence.

Fucking people need to die off already.

>>16465305
This goes for you too you fucking faggot. You and your mixed up legal system. Change the fucking laws if you respect your practice.
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>>16466840
Paralyzed with fear =/= fucked in the head
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>>16466870
Oh my God dude. Just stop. Nobody except a completely mentally ill person gets 'paralysed with fear'. That's just not a fucking thing. It's an excuse. And you know it.
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YFW replies to a thread piss you off so much that you can't even internet anymore

are you people actual humans or
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>>16466876
You've never been in a terrifying situation in your life, not once, ever? You were paralyzed then, if only for a second. You're full of shit if you say otherwise.
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>>16465905
>The truth is that she wasn't raped.
a crusader of truth and a rebel with a cause, everyone
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>>16465281
ok, first of all, shes stupid for not waking up telling him to stop.

however, as far as he knew, she was unconscious when it happened, and she gave no indication that she wanted it. that was rape.
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>>16466852
I'm a woman. While I agree that rape is traumatic, this girl was simply stupid. She let a man who she knew could potentially hurt her stay in her room. She didn't try to run away or stop him... I like this whole tumbr ideology that women aren't to be blamed for rape and to a point I agree with that, but it doesn't mean she should expose to potential danger, stay passive and then not even report the case, so the guy can go round and rape other girls. She must have some serious martyr complex going on.
>>
>>16466870

> paralysed with fear

That reeks of bullshit

She obviously wasn't afraid of this dude that she let into her house and pretended to fall asleep in front of to get him to leave, but you expect me to believe the moment he put his hands on her pants she was just "paralyzed with fear!"

Bull fucking shit. She's fucked in the head. It's a huge, huge red flag, OP. I would say it qualifies as "sticking your dick in crazy." Remember that no matter how much sympathy you may want to have for her because of the rape, crazy people can fuck your life up incredibly. You are not obligated to stay with her because you feel sorry for her.
>>
>>16466868
shut up ugly
>>
hmmm I might have a story to ease the arguments, or make them worse.

So, something....not entirely similar happened to me, but same aftereffects. basically, it was rape as defined. but my reaction to it was as bad as if it had been? happend 6 years ago, still have flashbacks and, more or less, trauma from it. therapy bill can prove it.

i kinda got brainwashed into it, aka persuaded to the point of giving in because i am weak of heart and mind.

so....it doesn't sound like it was rape as would normally be defined, but her experience with it may have been traumatic, even IF she wanted it at the time. based on me, she may not be "psycho" but someone that needs the extra attention, if you're willing to cater to it. i've called my situation rape before, just to get the trauma across, but i have to admit it was NOT rape. but...still got screwed up mentally over it, so some could argue it was?

all i got.
>>
>>16466905
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fight-or-flight_response
>>
>>16466911

> Calling something that was not rape, rape

This is one of the absolute lowest things you could possibly do
>>
>>16466888
I personally have never because I'm incidentally just a big guy and nobody tries anything with me (this is controlling for situation and setting as I've lived before in one of the worst parts of one of the biggest cities in both the UK as well as the US).

But the situations I have been in which could be comparable cast a yawning shadow over this idea of being fucked while you pretended you were asleep, BY SOME GUY THIS STUPID ATTENTION CRAVED SLUT LET. INTO. HER. OWN. HOME.

Fuck you my man. That's all.
>>
>>16466895
CHRIST what a fucking disappointment. This was her friend, she didn't think he was going to be a danger to her. I don't think it's fair to call her stupid because she had the audacity to trust her friend.
Also, when you report a rape, there's a tirade of questions being thrown at the rape victim. It's one thing to want to avoid ruining your friends life, but on top of that you have through an interrogation to prove your rape.
From the way you guys are attacking her and not believing her, I think she made the right decision not reporting because apparently no one would believe her anyways.
>>
>>16466926
you should kill yourself for typing that. are you usually this dense? holy shit
>>
>>16466919

What are you trying to say with this?
>>
>>16466908
I just got my dick slurped up today by a girl I only met yesterday. Throws a wrench in your works innit.


>>16466919
That contradicts what you're saying. Fight or flight is the opposite of 'deer in the headlights'.
>>
>>16465318
It "turns you off" what the fuck you weirdo.
>>
>>16466937
damn did you even read the article? drink bleach
>>
>>16466942

Yes how dare OP not be attracted to a woman who will freeze up and pretend to be asleep when any dumbass fumbles for her belt, how dare he have standards
>>
>>16465671
Aspergers speaks
>>
>>16466937
>Fight or flight is the opposite of "deer in headlights"

Um, no, that's exactly what it is. Source: Did a 20 page paper on this incollege. Source 2: Actually read the article.
>>
>>16466948
i will take a shit in your mouth
>>
>>16466945
Fight or flight is either being struck into the moment and fighting back or fleeing. You were thinking of deer in the headlights, which, again, is the opposite.

Now, here's the thing, OP's little slut did get raped in some figurative sense. She got her humanity raped, because the whole freezing up thing while a male goes in for the proverbial kill is actually an embedded female instinct in all mammals, it's an artefact of evolution, you can look this up, but she did not have her personhood raped, because she presented no contest towards the situation.

She was figuratively raped. In the descriptive carried away feministic sense. She was not literally raped, in the prescriptive, what-ought-to-be (though regrettably isn't) legal sense.

She was philosophically raped. Raped in abstract. This is actually the reason why she didn't report this guy and more so is telling OP about it. She just wants your attention bruv. Don't confuse that with thinking she wants your concern. Two different things. L2female.
>>
>>16466948
Yeah it's totally normal for someone to associate sexual violation with their own arousal.
>>
>>16466967
OH YOU DID A 20 PAGE PAPER ON IT IN COLLEGE?

WOW WE GOT A REAL CREDIBLE PROFESSOR HERE FOLKS.

Fucking faggot. That's not what it is.

Fight

or

Flight

Fight the adversary

Or flee the adversary

The dumb girl did neither.
>>
>>16465281

That is 100% rape, that is completely disgusting. What kind of a question is this.
>>
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>>16466982
>>
Men are so ugly on the inside :(
>>
>>16466972
>i love to feast upon bountious craps
>>
>>16466979

Nice stretch there idiot

Protip: As much as you don't like it, no man is going to be attracted to a woman whose defense instinct against even the most meager of rape attempts is to simply sit back and take it. Well, except for more rapists.
>>
>>16466980
Read a book on psychology or physiology before pretending to know anything about how the nervous system functions, kthx
>>
>>16466988
Get back in the kitchen and out of our space and problem solved.

>>16466995
Oh boy you're just giving it a run for your money's worth aren't you? Haha no you're not you're fucking terrible at weaselling your way out of clearly being in the wrong. How about I read that book while pumping your slutty little hole with my massive wood you sweet little tart you.
>>
>>16466980
People with panic disorders tend to (with exception) experience fight or flight differently by freezing up or experiencing tremors instead of a more defensive physical reaction. I'm not assuming she has that though it's not very common on women under 25.
>>
gentle reminder that if the genders were reversed everyone would find the idea that this situation was rape completely ridiculous
>>
>>16466992
why would anyone want a man to be attracted to them
>>
>>16467009
>kitchen joke! xDDD
are you really old enough to be on this website
>>
>>16467012
What are you even trying to say here? OP's gf clearly wants him to be attracted to her.
>>
Short and simple OP if it's as described above then yes it is rape.
Problem comes in the grey area as a slightly different description in any one point in that story could mean the difference between guilty / not guilty plus theres just way too much we dont know in the first place.

Either way just out of reasons of self preservation and fear I would avoid purely as if you judge her character wrong now you could be ruined for the rest of your life.

Selfish or heartless.. could quite easily be yes but self preservation is important.
>>
>>16465281
Imagine you pretend to sleep so some smelly, fat neckbeard finally fucks off, then he forces himself on you. If you somehow think it's not rape, you're the psycho, mate.
>>
>>16467011

in fact, if the genders were reversed, I'm betting at least some people would call the alleged rapist the rape victim

> omg, she showed up to your house drunk and then fucked you? And you just let her do it?
> She can't consent when she's drunk, dude. You RAPED her
>>
>>16466992
Being turned on is about arousal not moral attraction.
>>
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>>16467010
How about that isn't fight or flight then you fucking retard. That's being a deer in the headlights. Which is not fight or flight. God you're like saying uhhh well some people get colds differently and they're basically cancer but cancer is like just a cold. That's how you sound to me. Retarded.

>>16467016
It wasn't a joke sweetheart you clearly are not mature enough to be in any situation other than in a harem inside of fort knox because RREEEEEEAAAAAAAPPPEEEEEEEEEEEEE
>>
>>16467011
Yeah, who wouldn't love to get fucked by a hairy landwhale!
>>
>>16467018
the Truth
>>
>>16467012
>>
>>16467037
>It wasn't a joke sweetheart you clearly are not mature enough to be in any situation other than in a harem inside of fort knox because RREEEEEEAAAAAAAPPPEEEEEEEEEEEEE
jesus christ you type like a tool
your dad should've done a better job
>>
>>16467046
honestly
>>
>>16467010 see >>16467009

My paper was on panic disorder, the autonomic nervous system, and the fight or flight response. I am not an expert but I very clearly know more about it than you do.

Rape threats are so edgy, especially in a thread about rape. Feel better bro?
>>
>>16467037
Have you been evaluated for autism? There is something seriously wrong with you.
>>
>>16467047
I type like a tool? Am I typing too loud? Is the clack not agreeable to your preferred decibel level? I just don't understand why I type like a tool.

Can you tell me why?
>>
hello I'm going to cluelessly post my shitty opinion after reading 1/10 of the thread

Homeboy there in the story committed a morally bankrupt act, in my opinion. Personally, I wouldn't call it rape. Legally is a different matter, of course. But to me, rape implies tangible dissension of the act on one individual's part. She gave no tangible dissension.

Within the confines on the situation, the dude certainly is anything but blameless. And I'm not in the business of excusing drunken actions; we've got to own our own decisions regardless of the state they were made in. If we don't, personal responsibility is even closer to dead than it is now.

The girl also has some small fault in the situation, although less than the guy. It is unacceptable that she allow such a thing to happen to herself. This isn't a real moral or ethical violation, but very indicative of a problem.
>>
>>16467063
No there isn't anything wrong with me but there is something wrong with you. You're a complete fucking faggot.
>>
>>16467037
I don't think you actually understand what fight or flight is. phycological terms are broad.

The fact you don't even properly use the term "retard" says enough. Probably went to high school in America.
>>
>>16467069
Aspergers as fuck.
>>
>>16467068
>She gave no tangible dissension.
Besides sleeping and not saying yes nor making any sign that she could possibly want it.
>>
>>16467081
Straight from secondary to university in the UK actually since it matters to you but no I didn't improperly use the term retard, if you think so English isn't your first language.

And no, the notion of a fight or flight response refers to something incredibly specific. For the record also it's more biological than it is psychological.

>>16467085
You keep pushing this my man, you're just making yourself look insecure.
>>
>>16467094
I am not >>16467085, and I have also been pointing out how autistic you are. You are outnumbered, are you sure you don't need mental help? Do you have family that cares about you?
>>
>>16467064
the page refreshes, you see a reply. you start fucking wantonly SCRAPPING for your keyboard, and dart your tongue, both the color and consistency of liver over your lips in excitement, and with haste make no single effort to formulate a response that is of your own words and creativity. your mind has yet to catch up with your quivering hand cheetah. of all the insults that have been hurled at you over the years (you've been called a retard your entire life) you had to top your post off with a rape threat and condescension. i bet you've been dying to use those.
>>
>>16465281
fake and gay
>>
>>16467107
>assuming those are the same people
>doesn't know what autism is
>making more than one post to defend ego


That's all.
>>
>>16467107
I'm quite sure thank you. I'm also sure that you don't like that I'm sure.

>>16467110
The real question is, honest to God why are you taking what I write so seriously as to become this offended by it? You gotta ask yourself, are you really, like honestly, that offended by the fact that I'm a fast typer and mainly came to this thread to shit on sissy faggots like you?

People like you are the problem. If I can finish my day by having a go at you for 30 minutes to an hour I will sleep well. That's all this is for me.

But you are ACTUALLY offended. I ACTUALLY got under your skin by posting what I posted. To the point where you're calling me, a person with whom your only interaction has been the exchange of a few text responses on an anonymous image board, autistic. And you just look like the biggest fucking twat in doing so.

But hey, nice try. Not all can roll with the big boys.
>>
>>16467146
*sharts*
>>
>>16467146
not everyone can be called a retard their entire life
>>
>rape is suddenly this weird grey area
What the fuck went wrong?
>>
>>16467158
I'm sure those were traumatic experiences for you. Bet you were paralysed with fear each time :'(((((((
>>
>>16467164
A couple of loud shitstains on the internet trying to drown out the majority of people in the world, who have common sense and human decency?
>>
>>16467165
you're raping me right now
>>
>>16467164
What went wrong is the legal system caved to the rumination of feminist """""philosophy"""""
>>
>>16465281
Yes, it's rape. But it's not so clear cut. What he did was wrong socially and hurt another person. Even if it seemed okay to him at the time, if he were not drunk... he probably would have noticed she was crying.

Also who takes, "I'm going to sleep now." As an "Actually, I did want to have sex with you after all despite all the evidence to the contrary!"?
>>
OP here.

I've read about half the thread and I appreciate all the replies.

Something that stuck out to me is the fact that some people are blaming me for wanting to run for the heels. To me, it's not about her being raped that turns me off, it's the holes in her story. If she had reported him or at least put some sort of resistance then I would side with her. But to me it sounds like she let him bang her, regretted it, and now calls it rape to feel better about herself. If she had liked it maybe it would have been a different story.
>>
>>16467171
Must be real decent for a girl to lead some """""obsessive""""" retard on to the point where she actually lets the poor little faggot into her corridors and allows him to have a go and then declares it rape post hoc.

Bet the sad faggot feels real good about himself after a compliment of that nature.

Women can do no wrong. When will men learn?
>>
>>16467179
"turn off" is an odd way to put that. Do you mean it kills your sexual drive for her? Or you're turned away by this?
>>
>>16467196
Honestly, a little bit of both. To me, she comes off as having the victim mentality and I can see her making herself the victim about everything (which has actually already started happening with several things). That's my problem.
>>
>>16467175
Where in OP's post did he say that she verbalised the fact that she was going to sleep?

To me that honestly does seem a lot like "I lowkey want the D but am not about that responsibility so I'm going to stay next to you and pretend I'm asleep instead of just treating you like a human being and telling you to leave or if that honestly isn't feasible simply going to the bathroom to make a phone call to the police so they can show up and escort you out of here".

But OP's girl can't think for herself because she's a female so we clearly can't expect that from her.

I'm the guy who has been making the obnoxious posts and I do take rape seriously but the girl clearly left the situation ambiguous because she left it up to the guy to decide whether he would ultimately fuck her. She was not raped. End of story.

OP, like I said before, she doesn't want your concern. She told you to form a bond with you. It's just a stupid thing young women do (not necessarily making up rape stories, but in general making big deals out of nothing) and you sort of have to roll your eyes and put up with it if you want to be in relationships with them. She's creating this drama scenario because she likes you and is at a loss as to how she can interact with you in a way which is conducive to intimacy. She's just young. Give her her little attention and get past it.
>>
>>16467206
I can understand that view completely. Having a victim mentality is very childish. Of course not her fault, but still not something you need to be the one to solve. She 100% needs some therapy and it may be better that you two not date.
>>
>>16467092
We disagree on this point. That's fine; after all my opinion is mostly irrelevant in reality. Legal precedent is most relevant.

The lack of consent is not the same as tangible dissension, for me. What the fellow did was a contemptible act, at least the way you've told it. Which, by the way, none of us have any idea of its accuracy.

His behavior is what I would call, if I had to give it a name; sexual misconduct.

Again, this is just my opinion. I do not change definitions of words simply because the subject matter is more tragic and emotional than others. Consent is tangibly and actively agreeing to an act; where dissent is tangibly and actively disagreeing to an act. Doing nothing at all exhibits neither of these.
>>
>>16467206
This relationship sounds unhealthy for the both of you.
>>
>>16465281

she is just a bad lier
>>
>>16467224
>This relationship sounds unhealthy for the both of you.

Who even says shit like this.

All relationships are 'unhealthy'.
>>
how the fuck should we know whether or not she got raped? Do you even know whether or not you have the full story
>>
The girl is crazy if she didn't press charges.
Run now.
>>
Not sure that's really rape. But either way, rape or not I'd get out of that relationship asap. Ask yourself if you really want this person to be someone you spend a long relationship with.
>>
>>16467274
Didn't you fuck a dog or something?

And you're calling other women crazy.

That's fucking rich.
>>
>>16467179
amen, run.
Do not stay with girls that pour out rape stories with variable holes and no lawsuit. They deserve space until they can put it behind them and lable it correctly.
>>
>>16467285
Hey, man.

There can be a decent case made for proper implied consent in female human x male dog sexual encounters.

I mean, I think fucking a dog is pretty gross. It's a dog for fuck sake!

But, within a certain mental framework, more proper consent with homegirl (implying lmao) here here fucking a dog than with OP's story.
>>
>>16467172
Good.
>>
>>16467260
So deep and edgy.

Keep your autism to yourself please
>>
>>16467292
I don't care man she fucked a dog that's fucked up.

I guess you could say she got raw dogged.
>>
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>>16467299
Man you really are fond of that word aren't you.
>>
As a guy who was raped (in before guys can't be raped by women or you weren't really raped) this thread makes me lose a little more faith in humanity.

I totally get the reactions, but this person is bringing up stuff that happened years ago. If she just randomly brought it up, then yeah she needs help. But if proper context and conversation with the OP brought this up, then there's no issue.

Almost thinking this is bait.
>>
OP, it just doesn't make sense. It's not that she got "raped" that confuses me but that she ALLOWED it to happen. She didn't even attempt to try to stop it. Get out anon. You don't want a long term relationship that fucks up your kids futures. Good luck OP.
>>
>>16467308
Men literally can't be raped I say that completely seriously you do not have a fucking vagina.

The only way you could be raped is by another guy and that's not rape it's just sexual assault.

Seriously man you need to stop going around telling people and yourself that you got 'raped'. First and foremost it demeans the experience of women who've actually been in life threatening situations where they were forcibly raped and physically assaulted. Second, you sound like a MASSIVE, and I do mean MASSIVE, faggot proclaiming that you, as a man, got 'raped', and third, you're accomplishing nothing more than giving credence to this abominable feminist way of thinking which seeks to relativise the definition of rape.

Just stop man. Just fucking stop. You were not raped. You have a penis. Seriously cut that shit out.
>>
>>16467300
>I guess you could say she got raw dogged.

Heh.

I appreciated that. Like I said, I think having sex with a dog is pretty fucked.

But I'll always try and support those dogfuckers. Who else is gonna do it? I mean, aside from other dogfuckers!
>>
>>16467328
to quote the law:

“Penetration, no matter how slight, of the vagina or anus with any body part or object, or oral penetration by a sex organ of another person, without the consent of the victim.”

This definition has been expanded from the previous one, which restricted it to females only. This new definition includes forms of rape on male victims. In some states, the definition is expanded even further, to include all sexual intercourse without consent of the victim.

I sincerely hope you are a troll. If not, I weep for the fact that you, as a person, exist.
>>
>>16467328
>Men literally can't be raped I say that completely seriously you do not have a fucking vagina.

Hey, random cunt here.

What about some poor motherfucker that gets cornholed by Tyrone? Is that not rape?

I bet the poor motherfucker that got cornholed by Tyrone would disagree vehemently.
>>
>>16467328
What the fuck is it with you spergs and the SJW thing?

So sexual assault/having your anus torn open can't be called rape anymore? Is it because you dislike what the word rape has become that much?

Fucking stupid to be honest family.
>>
>>16467338
You live in a society where two people of the same sex can get married under the law. Law means fuck all in this day and age. Law lost all of its credibility as anything but a massive wankfest along with the advent of hypersecularism and postmodernism in philosophy.

Don't get me wrong the institution of law still exists at its core and is to be thoroughly obeyed but all of these modern embellishments are completely meaningless and the fact that you cite them as though they're supposed to have any shred of credibility shows how horrifically thoughtless you are as a person.

>>16467340
I spoke to that. It's sexual assault. Sexual assault can be brutal. Rape can be benign. But sexual assault is not rape.
>>
>>16467351
I'm anything but a social justice warrior. It's the social justice warrior who conflates the definition of sexual assault with rape.

When you say you got 'raped', that's like a guy saying he's just had his period. It's just not right. It's not the right way of thinking. It's a total category error.
>>
>>16467328
This whole post is b8 but

>rape
>life threatening situations
made me audibly kek
>>
>>16467361
I never said rape was necessarily a life threatening situation. What I implied was that rape is simply physically coercive sexual intercourse against a woman's will and that a lot of the times that goes hand in hand with life threatening situations. And that's it's in poor taste to adopt that term in any sort of descriptive sense.

A man saying he was raped is a lot like a white person saying 'nigga'. It's not even that rape is a woman's thing or nigga is black peoples' term. It's just completely fucking gay for a man to say he was raped as it is also completely fucking gay for a white guy to use the term nigga seriously.

It's just fucking gay.
>>
>>16467328
That's cool and all but it doesn't change what happened. Shit fucked me up for years.

Even the betrayal of trust takes years to get over. If rape was this simple or nonexistant thing, then it wouldn't mentally kill you that much. But it does change you.

It's just a little disappointing to see people bring up internet memes into all this. The feminists have nothing to do with anything.
>>
>>16467372
I know for a fact that in the US, UK and in my country, men are legally capable of being raped, and lawmakers throughout the world have been legislating in this sense for at least 15-20 years.

>b b but tumblr told me men cant be raped!
Your wishful thinking means jackshit.
>>
Girls love to use rape stories to make themselves seem more sympathetic. Under traditional definitions she was not raped but by law she was. I would tread lightly.
>>
>>16467378
Man the fuck up. Jesus Christ. It's your choice to be fucked up from it.

You choose. You are a man. You have no inherent sexual scarcity. If you are fucked up by it, it's completely in your head. It's not like that for women. They have sexual scarcity written into the logic of their being. It's what they exist around. To violate that is equivalent to what death is for the male.

Snap the fuck out of this video game world you live in where you spend all your time feeling sorry for yourself.

>>16467381
That's exactly what I said you fucking moron. In fact I put it back to (at most) 400 years ago. Learn to read.

Politicians make laws. That doesn't mean those laws are philosophically or even legally sound. The institution of law has been decaying full force for the past 70 years. You're picking up a banana out of a completely rotten, black batch and trying to convince me that bananas are black, not yellow.


>tumblr
What I'm saying would make tumblr implode. This is like the most conservative line of reasoning possible.
>>
>>16467396
> but by law she was
No, she wasn't.

The "she must express consent with a yes every time, every 10m" feminist school of thought actually has NOT permeated the american judiciary.

It HAS permeated college campuses, which are under fire for ignoring due process of law in regards to the (falsely) accused men.
>>
>>16467404
Every post you make is entirely ridiculous.

>b b but the law has been in decline so legal definitions don't matter now!

You're the one living in la la land. The legal definition of RAAAAAPPEEEE is the ONLY thing that matters, the only thing which sends innocent men to prison and the only thing that could potentially ruin your life, make you a registered sexual offender and fuck your employment chances forever, no matter how much feminists cry foul.
>>
>>16467409
Some states have defined rape in that manner. Of positive consent, rather than negative consent (saying nothing, allowing the situation to speak for itself) being sufficient.

And that's all it takes. First it was what, Maryland who legalised gay marriage? Then a few others. Now it's the single greatest mistake the federal government has ever made. It happened. And if the definition of marriage can be rewritten, just as the definition of mental illness was rewritten, then what makes you think the definition of rape is safe?

It's not. It's pure satire to you now but feminists will not stop until the definition of rape is 'the female saying yes every second followed by an apology by the male each time'.


>yes
>sorry
>yes
>sorry
>yes
>sorry

>>16467420
Oh boy you're naïve. How do you think the changing of that definition becomes in the first place a possibility?
>>
>>16467428
when the female doesn't* say yes
>>
>>16467404
Jesus Christ you even start with another meme.

>just man up, just be yourself

I got through it. It took me years but I healed. Then I got PTSD years later from bad deployments and I became suicidal again. But the pain was entirely too familiar. Of course evetything is in your head; that's how we exist as humans.

Your posts are really out there and nonsensical, especially for an advice forum/board.
>>
>>16467457
No man you're just a bitch. I'm surprised you made it through basic.

You're a pussy, like at your core you're just a seeping vagina. But, listen to me, it's so deep that you really don't take anything from what I'm saying other than insult. But I don't mean it as an insult.

It's like I'm trying to point out to you that you have a bug on your face and you think I'm saying you look like a bug.
>>
How old ANY of you know what a "normal" reaction to rape is? If you haven't been raped, you don't have a right to go around saying "rape is like this or that", that's just ignorant. Human reaction isn't just fight or flight, I can't tell you how many times I've heard a strange sound and have been frozen in my tracks like a deer (kind of a bad example, but you get the point)
>>
>>16467486
Do*, it was a typo.
>>
>>16467486
Fuck off retard.

If a woman can't tell a man to stop having sex with her then she might as well be mentally retarded.
>>
>>16467468
No that's the thing. I get being a hardass on the internet, but there's zero point here on this board.

All the ramblings about the system and feminists have nothing to do with anything. At this point I'm just agreing with the others that your posts are very ridiculous, and you're not a good source of advice due to the other matters clouding your mind.
>>
>>16467506
Man, I'm being honest with you right now. I have no intention of coming off as a hard ass. I'm just speaking my mind.

Don't mistake my frustration for other people as me trying to put on an act.
>>
>>16467499
Wow, a terribly thought out reply, why was I expecting anything else? Go shave your neck, live with humans for a while, and then contemplate your current opinions and thoughts, mm'kay?
>>
Dunno. If the story is true then the friend is a pretty disgusting dude for fucking someone he thought was unaware and sleeping, that's an act of rape on his part.
>>
>>16465281
In my opinion, and that's exactly what this is, yes, this is rape. Surely you've had times where you've just not known how to respond to something out of shock or whatever. If the story is true, I would personally consider it rape, but that's just me. And if by some chance she is insecure enough to tailor up a story about getting raped for attention or something along those lines, I don't really think she should be labelled 'psycho' for it either.

But that's just me; you do you, boo-boo.
>>
>>16467542
How about you suck my dick.
>>
Well we can't know if it's real story or not, only you know your gf.

There could be many reasons for why one might not protest or cause a scene while being violated by someone they know well. Maybe she was in shock, afraid to confront him, just wanted it to be over quickly, could have been afraid he would hold her down if she let him know she was awake.

Not really sure. I was once half passed out drunk next to a friend who began fondling me and pulling his hand down my pants to finger me and I was too drunk to really do anything about it. I pretended to be asleep and he stopped after a while. He was very drunk too, so I don't really blame him for it. I like to believe he thought I was awake and stopped when he noticed I wasn't.
>>
>>16467547
Or maybe he wasn't a fucking retard and knew that OP's little angel didn't actually 'fall asleep' because she had had enough of him.
>>
>>16467580
How would you know he was fondling you if you were half passed out? Especially if you were drunk.

L I A R
I
A
R
>>
>>16467582
Did you read my fucking post you dingus.
> If the story is true

If the story IS true, then he thought she was asleep.
>>
>>16467586
>Half-passed out and drunk. Not unconscious or sleeping.
>>
>>16467591
No, I'm telling you it's obviously not true.

For all of the responses I've gotten in this thread telling me I need to 'live with humans', most of you guys seem completely unaware to the basic subtleties of male/female interaction.

Then again you losers are the same people making 'why did my girlfriend cück me?????' threads.
>>
>>16467577
imagine being so irrelevant you use retorts straight out of myspace circa 2006
>>
>>16467586
It's pretty easy to feel a finger going up your vag even while half-passed out.
>>
>>16467603
Those parts are supposed to be sensitive unless you're a blown out hoe, so I agree.
>>
>>16467594
>>16467603
But there's just no middle ground between basically awake and passed out.

There is no such thing as 'half passed out'. It just does not exist. It's a bullshit excuse is all. You guys are awake with your eyes closed and just tired and drowsy. That's not in any meaningful sense 'passed out' to the point of incapacitation.

>>16467601
There's nothing irrelevant about your mouth watering on my hard pipe.
>>
>>16467598
Because all claims of rape are always false.
>>
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>>16467610
>>
>>16467610
What a fucking nitpick. You've ever been wasted out of your mind? In that state where you're basically not able to move or do anything, but aware of your surroundings and you're on the brink of falling asleep? I don't know what else to call that but half-passed out.
>>
>>16467615
A great deal of them are actually given that if a woman was actually raped, psychologically speaking, I mean biologically speaking even, it just wouldn't make any sense to be open about it with anyone at all.

It's only when the rape occurred under some sort of relativised terms, at least where the woman on a visceral level doesn't actually register that it happened, that she would be open about it. Going out of your way to be open about it is indicative of some sort of underlying pathology at the very least.

Like this isn't my opinion. It boils down to game theory, really. Game theory is mathematical, you can't defy it in the same way that you can't defy the laws of physics.

>>16467624
Maybe you guys suffer from some like perpetually not completely lucid state by default because the more physiologically awake a person is, the sharper the contrast is for any sort of restful state.

Yes I have been completely inebriated but it's always either drunk and alert or completely gone balls deep in stage 5 REM sleep. Like especially when you're drunk. There's just no in between. I'm not buying it.

>>16467623
Real cute princess but you need to loosen it up a bit if you want it to fit.
>>
>>16467638
> I'm not buying it.
I don't know what you're doing but I honestly have no reasons to make up stories on /adv/ while anonymous. There's nothing to gain here. And for the record I didn't think being fondled while drunk constituted as rape since the person doing it was drunk too and probably thought I was into it.
>>
>>16467638
>either drunk and alert or completely gone balls deep in stage 5 REM sleep
So I take it you've never actually been drunk?

This is terrible bait.
>>
>>16467656
I don't know, I've had at least 1 beer daily ever since I was like 14. I'm also really big (not even close to fat, literally fuck off) so maybe my tolerance or just the way I handle alcohol in general is completely unusual. So maybe it's different for the average person. Maybe it's completely different thing entirely for women. But just from what I experience, that doesn't seem at all likely.

It's just obvious to me that while there might be an iota of truth to a middle ground, you guys are definitely using it as an excuse.

Women are creatures who exist in a sea of excuses. I guess I'm just not naïve about that like the average manlet low testosterone guy who comes on 4chan so I'm sticking out like a sore thumb here.

Self stroking aside you guys know you're full of shit, and the ones who don't fully know it are fully made of it.
>>
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>>16465281
> Is this rape
Depends on the state. In Georgia, US, rape is defined by Code 16-6-1 as "carnal knowledge of (1) a female forcibly and against her will"

Curtis v. State, 236 Ga. 362 (1976):
Lack of resistance, induced by fear, is not legally cognizable consent but is force.

Griffin v. State, 282 Ga. 215 (2007)
Sex with woman whose will is temporarily lost from intoxication, or unconsciousness arising from use of drugs or other cause, or sleep, is rape.

Source: 5 minutes in Google.
Know your law. Get consent. Every time.
>>
>>16467638
>it just wouldn't make any sense to be open about it with anyone at all.

nah it makes sense. best way to deal with any sort of trauma is to just confront it. acknowledge that it happened, talk about it with only your closest compatriots, etc. op's girl seems to be doing that so it causes me no alarm.

also the comment about game theory makes me think you're autistic /r9k/ as fuck but that's something else entirely.
>>
>>16467652
Of course you do. You are cognisant that rationally you are speaking to another human being, and that your interaction with me is being observed by others. Just because the social consequences aren't immediate doesn't mean your subconsciousness somehow escapes them entirely. There is everything to gain. It's just less immediate. But this is becoming a psychology class so I'll drop it so as to not rouse your tiny widdle bwain anymore. I think you need to just forget about it and suck my cock.
>>
>>16467682
But you don't acknowledge that it happened by opening up about it. That's just distraction. The only way to acknowledge something is to acknowledge it yourself. That's completely antithetical to opening up about it.

And great you think I'm autistic because I brought up a completely legitimate and scientific way of understanding the way interactions work. Literally /the/ mathematics of social interaction. Ever think maybe you're just a little fucking dumb and when weighty ideas get brought up they scare the shit out of your feral animal tier mind?
>>
Yes, that's clearly rape, especially if the guy thought she was asleep. It's quite possible that she could have felt completely powerless against this guy and was too afraid to do anything before or while it happened. Should she have reported it as soon as she could? Yes, obviously, and she's stupid for not doing so, but do not try to track down this guy for revenge like I've seen people here considering, because at this moment, you only have her word on it, and you will get into more trouble than it could be worth.

Her actions preceding it were also pretty stupid too, but ultimately it was the guy's decision to act here, and that's what makes it fit the definition of the crime. Not to imply that she deserved it, but I think she's either dumb or concealing something.
>>
>>16467704
Of course she's concealing something you fucking retard.
>>
>>16467691
>Literally /the/ mathematics of social interaction

nah, before you were born it was called something else. game theory is a recent social marketing meme that you superbly buy into

you brain is filled with the internet's influence and it sounds like you're in a world of pain. hopefully you're not being serious though, just trolling over and over.
>>
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All you people saying it's a fault and that she wasn't even raped are terrible persons and you shouldn't be out on that board giving "advice" to people.

Stop being overreacting immatures.
>>
>>16467723
>game theory is a recent social marketing meme
Uh ... hahahaha

Hahahahahahahahahha

What the fuck hahahahahahaaha

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Game_theory
>>
>>16467734

I'm not even the guy replying to you but just stop, you're making a fool of yourself
>>
>>16467737
Oh you're scared now huh.
>>
>>16467724
yeah I've noticed this too on /adv/. the people who shouldn't be giving advice (because they've lost that natural hope/belief in people in general) often give the longest shitposts with their shitty advice.

i think people like that just come here because it's a slower board and thus it's easier to get the attention they so crave.
>>
>230 replies and 11 images omitted. Click here to view.
What the fuck even is this thread.
>>
>>16467754
Yet you wrote this entire post because some petty fucking part of your subconsciousness registered that poster as a female and you agreed with her because you harbour the underlying belief that agreeing with a female will give you access to her vagina.

You can call me an out of touch asshole or what the fuck ever all you want but take a second to sit back and think about the reality I've just revealed to you.
>>
Certain definitions/laws about rape don't hold as much weight to me as others for a reason. Rape to me was if the victim made it obvious that they don't consent.
Not every partner I could have likes the idea of giving a black and white verbal yes. They could instead signal consent to me in a variety of ways (i.e body language) that gives a lot of room for interpretation, which makes some of these cases not have the same value as others, and thus not all cases should be treated the same.
>>
>>16467762
no, i don't think about gender when i reply for the obvious reasons

after a lot of 4chan you realize faglords pretend to be girls, and girls pretend to be guys, so there's literally no point to think of gender when forming a post. in this case you are simply projecting senpai, sorry.
>>
>>16467773
You give yourself too much credit. I never once in my post alluded to the idea that you 'think' (about anything at all).
>>
>>16465281
Deff rape.
Could she have said "stop" and probably stopped the situation? Maybe? But who's to say he even would have stopped? Maybe he would have gotten violently.

She does sound a little crazy though. IF I were in her situation, I would have flipped out and TOLD HIM to stop. But he did technically take advantage of her without her consent- she could have easily been actually sleeping. The intent behind it was rapey
>>
>>16467780
what is the point to being edgy at this very time, at this place, and in this thread?

at least i can take solace in the fact the edgiest of posters are also the most unsatisfied and unhappy. thank you for unintentionally pleasing me.

i do not wish rape on you though, because rape is bad yet it happens to both men and women
>>
>>16467782
>But who's to say he even would have stopped? Maybe he would have gotten violently.
This is by and large the main contention in this thread against her simply saying 'stop' as a normal cognitively functioning human being would, no less a fully grown adult.

But it's completely erroneous. If the guy is the type of guy to get obsessive over a female, he's also 99% of the time the type of guy who would probably himself freeze up or break down and cry if he was told no. Guys who get violent and forcible about sex after being told no are NOT guys who become obsessive over women. There are those completely exceptional cases which are over-publicised and that's where you're getting this paranoia that this would have somehow been a feasible outcome. Not a chance in hell. You just don't have any other excuse to the fact that her retarded ass couldn't muster a simply 'I don't want this', when she was completely sober even.

>But he did technically take advantage of her without her consent- she could have easily been actually sleeping. The intent behind it was rapey
On paper. But this clearly isn't the case. She clearly, obviously, plainly did not passive aggressively pretend to fall asleep with the intent of having the 'obsessed' 'drunk' guy just up and leave. She did it because she, in that moment and in that moment alone, felt like she could use some sex. Because it was right there, desperate probably just to touch her. And then after the fact, once she realised the next morning how fucked up it was that she used both this stupid poor bloke as well as herself in such a cheap manner, she fabricated the narrative of rape in order to vindicate herself of any wrongdoing or poor decisions.

I guarantee you. I know this probably sounds horrible to you people, but I guarantee you, I literally bet my life on this: there were no tears.

Don't get me wrong these little spiels of mine aren't rape apology. They're apologetics for not completely catering to female stupidity.
>>
>>16467790
Oh boy you really dug deep for that one didn't you.

Took you 8 whole minutes to pump out that shakespeare. Give yourself a pat on the back. You deserve a pat on the back. I especially liked the part where you ended with stating that rape happens to both men and women because that's just soooooooooo infuriating to me being as how I wrote a big fat fucking post telling you that it doesn't. Wow I am in TEARS right now, tears of pure and sheer frustration because of the genius way you just spited me and all and every last one of my efforts like that.

D- faggot see me after class.
>>
>>16465558
>Every girl has a rape story
Dude what. What kinds of girls are you talking to? I know girls who know girls that have been raped, but only one actual girl with a rape story.

OP, if it's bugging you now, it's going to bug you later. Let's be real, no one comes on /adv/ with a story like this for real advice. They come for validation on the feelings they already have. Just break up with her. She can find a guy that'll accept her for all that she is, including this story, and you can find a girl that hasn't had this experience.
>>
>>16467796
>She did it because she, in that moment and in that moment alone, felt like she could use some sex.
Are you assuming that she didn't actually pretend to be asleep, or are you suggesting that 'pretending to sleep' was something she did in order to get sex?

If it's the former, then basically you're saying that she made up almost every detail. In which case, why didn't she invent a more sympathetic story? At the very least she could have said that she was actually asleep, not just pretending. Then she wouldn't have to worry about all the 'I'm not a rape apologist, but...' reactions.
If it's the latter, why would she pretend to be asleep to get sex? Why not just do it?
>>
cba to read all the bullshit in this thread.

imagine it was you and your male (way stronger than you) friend tried to stick it in your pooper.

ofc it's rape.
>>
>>16468049
Top kek
>>
She was raped but she's also a fucking retard.
>>
>>16465281
Yes, this is rape. Some are too shocked to respond, and this sounds like it happened a lot faster than she described.
>>
OP here.

Didn't think this would still be alive in the morning. I've read most replies so here goes.

No, this is not bait.

Is the story true? As far as I know, yes it is, it just doesn't make any sense as many of you have also pointed out. I don't know if she's lying to me but I can't see any reason why she would lie to me. In my opinion, something similar went down, but it was consensual, but she regrets it so bad she talks about it as rape to justify her mistake. It sounds fucked up but like, why let a drunk guy inside your house? And so on... she never mentioned him forcing himself in. She willingly let him in as far as the story she told me.

I'm dumping her today. I just feel like one day I'll end up on the other side of one of her fucked up stories.
>>
Don't listen to the people who says she's a psycho. Most people can't react when they are too scared or shocked, they can't even process what's happening. You can't act logically when you're in a situation like that, once I was almost ran over by a car and I just stood there.
All the other people saying she's a psycho are obviously neets who watched too much TV
>>
>>16468177
I know what you mean, but it just doesn't add up. Even if she froze up in the moment, why lead him into the room and why lay in bed and pretend to go to sleep. .. there's an endless amount of possibilities she could have taken but she took the only one that would possibly put her at risk of getting raped?
>>
>>16468184
Well did she say she led him into the room? Reading the OP I understood it as she just left for her room while her friend was babbling in the living room or something then went into her room. I get that it's stupid that she went to bed, if I was her I would have at least locked the door so he couldn't get in but if it was a friend she trusted then she just didn't think it was something that could happen. I have a few male friends I've known for 10 years that I'm going to trust, we've already slept in the same room while on vacation together but not everyone has the same standards when it comes to trusting people.
It adds up when you see it from the pov that she completely trusted him, I consider the male friends I completely trust like they were gay t b h. Stop thinking everyone can be heroic and infallible.
>>
>>16468176
I think that's the right move.
She may be telling the truth and actually was taken advantage of- but if you don't feel like you can trust her, then 100% you should end the relationship. But op-
DO NOT TELL HER IT IS BECAUSE OF THE RAPE STORY.
I don't know if she confessed this story to you yesterday, but if she did, wait before you dump her.
SHE CANNOT CONNECT HER STORY WITH THE REASON YOU DUMPED HER, OR SHE WILL FUCK YOUR SHIT UP.

She will literally go around telling people that you dumped her because she was raped. She'll assume you "don't want damaged goods" or are a "sexist victem-blaming pig".
Find another reason to pin it on, or you will seriously regret it.
>>
>>16468199
She didn't specify that part. I didn't want to ask too many questions because i didnt want to make her feel like i was attacking her story. I dont even remember how the topic came up (she told me this a few months ago).

I do remember the story completely how she told me, and she never specified that part.
>>
>inviting a drunk man who pines for you into your house
>going to sleep with the DOOR TO YOU ROOM UNLOCKED
>not denying at any point in time even though there was no threat or coercion whatsoever

"but he might have been violent!" is speculation without factual basis, because the guy in fact wasnt. She even admits the guy was "nice".

And that's assuming she's being truthful to begin with, which she most certainly isn't.
>>
http://thoughtcatalog.com/janet-bloomfield/2014/12/13-women-who-lied-about-being-raped-and-why-they-did-it/

>>16465493
>"because aside from raping me he is a really nice and sweet guy and I don't wanna ruin his life."

Looks like she regretted sex and called rape.
>>
>>16468206
T b h the only point where I would agree it's her fault is that she kept contact with him even though she knew he wanted to sleep with her. But you know her better than us, is she usually this naive? But don't go thinking she said she was raped to cover up the fact that she slept with him and regretted it, if it were me I don't know how I would have reacted but since I didn't even move when I was almost ran over I think I could have reacted the same as her. Only difference is I wouldn't have put myself in this situation to begin with because I don't open to drunk people, don't want them to throw up in my house or something.
I'd advise you not to listen too much to the people on adv when it comes to relationship advices anyway because it usually comes from KV robots who are bitter and who think women are the source of all evil.
>>
If a girl tells you a rape story, she's Schrödinger's Slut. She's either crazy enough to lie in such a way, which can lead to you being the newest rapist in her story, that she may or may not tell to the cops. Or she was raped. Either way, she's damaged goods. Run bro. Run.
>>
>>16468235
>Schrödinger's Slut
I love it.

And spot-on analysis.
>>
As and this thread is why you should stay away from women anons. Just read these femanons posts.

Just pay a prostitute it's cheaper over time and they generally won't try to fuck you legally as they want your patronage.

Best choice just fucking jack off.
>>
yes that is rape
>>
>>16468258
womyn, please
>>
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>>16468265
low quality bait, etc
>>
>>16465649
I dunno, only having sex with people you actually want to fuck doesn't seem that dangerous
>>
>>16465717
This (and most other responses ITT) belongs on /r9k/
>>
>>16466985
>Fucking someone while they're asleep, without any consent isn't fair
If you say so, champ
>>
>>16467173
Yeah, why don't people may accept unsolicited sex as the compliment it is already?
>>
>>16468343
And the potential pregnancy and/or STDs are just to make sure you never forget how nice of a compliment it was.
>>
>>16465493
idk man, maybe she just regrets letting him fuck her.
>>
>>16468484

It's either this or she's a huge weird crazy person

Nobody accepts the whole 'Oh she was just frozen in fear' bullshit
>>
>>16468235
>If a girl tells you a rape story, she's Schrödinger's Slut
fucking righteous
>>
whether she was truly raped or not is irrelevant and what is really important is hoe she feels. If she is not fabricating the story and beleives it to be a true example of rape and opened up to you about it in means of receiving her self from some of the mental agony in has caused, then you ought to support her and be more sensitive to her. you don't have to change your life completely, you just have to make her feel safe and in trustworthy hands by being honest and open with her. you sound like you don't trust her and can't accept the situation and be there for so perhaps for her benefit and yours you should break up with her. by doing so you can put your head out of this and find a girl more suitable for you and let her find a boy that can be there for her and accept this. Hope you come with a satisfactory and ethical solution to this problem. :)
>>
>>16468343
>>16468354
You're acting like those risks don't go both ways.

>>16468594
There are consequences for allowing women to believe they've been raped when they really haven't. You aren't looking at the bigger picture.
>>
>>16468594
>whether she was truly raped or not is irrelevant and what is really important is hoe she feels

Literally everything wrong in the world.

Fucking crazy feminazis can't even fathom the societal effects of this line of thinking, yet it permeates into legislation nonetheless.
>>
>>16468594
Whether she was truly raped or not is irrelevant and what is really important is how she feels. If she is not fabricating the story and believes it to be a true example of rape and opened up to you about it in means of receiving her self from some of the mental agony it has caused, then you ought to break up with her and be more sensible. You don't have to change your life completely, you just have to leave her behind and in the hands of someone dumb enough by dumping her. You sound like you don't trust her and can't accept the situation and rightfully so, so perhaps for your benefit you should break up with her. By doing so you can put your head out of this and find a girl without that kind of baggage and let her find a boy that is gullible enough and accepts her bullshit. Hope you come up with a satisfactory and ethical solution to this problem. :)
>>
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>>16468594
>muh feelings
This post takes the cake. Im out. Consider me trolled, baited or whatever.
>>
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>>16465281
This isn't really a case of "no means no" or "yes means yes"

The Actus Rea elements of sexual assault is (i) sexual touching (ii) in the absence of consent.
The Mens Rea element is that the accused needed knowledge or was willfully blind to these conditions.

Consent cannot be given while the party is unable to immediately revoke consent (ie. asleep, unconscious)
The Accused thought she was asleep
Therefore the Accused knew that no consent was provided.

All the elements are made out, clean and simple.
>>
>>16469363
The question is not about the Accused, though. The girl was in reality perfectly capable of revoking consent.
>>
has any woman ever actually been raped, or all they all lying
>>
>>16469363
That's basically what I said yesterday ffs.
Can't believe there are still doubters in this thread.
>>
>>16469398
Yeah, that's right asshat, there's no such thing as rape you neanderthal scumbag.
>>
damn. if my boyfriend reacted the way half the guys ITT are reacting, he would've been out of the picture pretty quickly
>>
>>16469411
What a loss

Slut

>implying anyone would want to stay with you
>>
>>16469363
>The Accused thought she was asleep
False assumption you pulled out of your ass.

And she consented through her actions.
>>
>>16469396
>The girl was in reality perfectly capable of revoking consent.
As far as the Accused knew, she did not. He had the AR and MR for sexual assault. On the facts he is a rapist.

The fact that she didn't consent makes her a rape victim. The fact that he KNEW that she didn't consent makes the case completely unsympathetic and removes any ambiguity.

This isn't a case of honest but mistaken belief of consent. You would have to be wildly biased to side with the guy in these circumstances.

Is it so much to ask for a little rational thinking?
>>
>>16469411
women are the gatekeepers of sex. men are the gatekeepers of commitment, sweethart. whether he chooses to be with you is his choice alone.

any men giving their commitment away instead of valuing is a low quality beta man to begin with
>>
>>16469415
been together for two years after I told him so not a concern. and nice coming from the guy who bitches about people not waiting until marriage for sex then admits to fucking before getting married

tripfags being cancerous as usual
>>
>>16469428
>As far as the Accused knew
Wrongful assumption based on no data at all.

>The fact that she didn't consent
Wrongful assumption. Invited him, went to sleep with door unlocked. Was not forced or coerced. Did not object. That is tacit, implicit consent in any court in the civilized world.

>The fact that he KNEW
Wrongful assumption based on no data at all.

Not to mention the way she behaves afterwards is very iffy, dead scared of her boyfriend checking her story, not wanting to file a report despite being validated by her entire safety net, and still thinking of her "rapist" as a sweet, nice guy.

Stop taking everything she said to her current boyfriend at face value, she's clearly lying out of her ass.
>>
>>16469432
I was engaged you stupid slut

Go get "raped" some more while your c u c k boyfriend watches
>>
>>16469428
Who's siding with the guy? I'm saying that since this is not his trial, it's completely irrelevant what he thought or knew. The question was about the girl's perspective.
>>
>>16469429
>women are the gatekeepers of sex. men are the gatekeepers of commitment
completely unrelated and not even a convincing argument of, well, anything really

>sweethart
oh god, you're one of those
>>
>>16469442
>I was ENGAGED
is your reading comprehension so low that you don't know that isn't the same thing as married?
>>
>>16469442
Kek, no wonder you stopped posting in the other thread. You're a hypocrite.
>>
>>16469454
I never said to wait for marriage

Nice try cum slut
>>
>>16469468
You can't read either

Literally never said marriage

Women are so fucking dumb
>>
>>16469470
>>16469475
>acts holier than thou over people other people who have more than one sexual partner
>had sex before marriage
nice
>>
>>16469488
>still never said marriage in that context

https://archive.4plebs.org/adv/search/text/marriage/tripcode/%20%21%214nagLPzwxlE/

keep trying slut
>>
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>>16465281
>>
>>16469441
>>16469423
>False assumption you pulled out of your ass.
>Wrongful assumption
Do you understand how MR is made out, anon? For general intent offences, like sexual assault, the Court will adopt a reasonable person standard. It's basically a reasoned assumoption where they ask "what would a reasonable person think, given the facts and circumstances?"

what is the information at hand? Well in OP we see...
>she pretended to go to sleep
>he took down her pants and fucked her while she pretended to be asleep
>She was awake the whole time crying while he was fucking her, but she never told him no or stop
>He finished, got dressed and left her pretending to be sleeping in bed

In the circumstances Accused was drunk, further hindering his ability to tell whether or not she was pretending. I think it's pretty safe to say that a reasonable person would think she was asleep.

By all means though, make your case. The law is made to be interpreted. At a cursory glance, I'm not seeing much jurisprudence about MR in cases where the victim pretended to be asleep. There is plenty to be said on willful blindness as it applies to the defence of honest but mistaken belief of consent. Look up R. v. Sansregret
>>
>>16469525
Furthermore, the Accused only had to think that the victim was asleep at some point during the act. Even if he realized that she was awake the moment she started weeping, and even if it was reasonable to think he had consent at this point, the act of sexual assault had already been made out.

Your only available argument is that a reasonable person would have known from the beginning that she was only pretending to be asleep. You would have to adduce some evidence to this point. Are you going to go on record and say that she a really shitty actor?
>>
>>16469596
>>16469525
kek, I love watching ignorant people get put in their place.
Don't try to argue the law if you don't understand it. God help you if you ever end up in front of a judge.
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>>16469652
>things that didn't happen: the post

You're only seeing what you want to see, anon.
>>
>>16469443
>I'm saying that since this is not his trial
um, generally the rapist is the one put on trial

what are you accusing this girl of exactly?
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>>16469699
That she's fucked in the head. Are you a fucking law student that you see a trial in everything?
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>>16469707
reread OP

>>16465281
>Is this rape or is the girl pyscho?
OP presents and either-or scenario. It's rape on the facts, therefore it can be inferred that she isn't psycho.

Do you have any reasonable grounds to doubt her?
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>>16468598
I'm not that inclined to feel sympathy for a person who gets an STI from raping somebody
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>>16469717
Oh I don't know. Things like her entire behavior, her victim mentality, the fact that you're taking her story as a fact when in fact it's just a story she told OP to justify herself, or maybe, I don't know little things called presumption of innocence, audi alteram partem or due process of law, which you seemed to ignore.
>>
>>16469717
Just because OP presents it as an either-or situation doesn't mean that it actually is one. Provided that everything OP said is true, the guy is totally a rapist. That doesn't make her not insane.
>>
>>16469717
>Do you have any reasonable grounds to doubt her?

I don't have any reasonable grounds to believe her either, seeing as her story presents no evidence.
>>
>>16469525
>>16469596
You're spouting legal logic as if it meant anything.

This is not a question of whether or not it is rape legally speaking, because it is. The point is that this current legal definition of rape is completely incoherent at a basic philosophic level.

The idea that people need to verbalise consent, to make it explicit rather than implicit, is simply a failed attempt at formulating sex within a system. It's not the way human interaction works.

Of course this leaves the question of legality as a completely open sore, being as how implicit consent is entirely contextual, but that doesn't mean it is so judicially, because a judge and jury exist for no other purpose than to judge character. If it's obvious from a woman's personality that she's got histrionic tendencies, then, despite the fact that it is legally undecidable, judicially speaking, the judge and jury will gather from the context whether or not she was raped.

Whether or not she initially consented through her actions, NOT her explicit language, and retracted the consent post hoc, or whether or not she was honest to God raped and told the truth about it from the beginning.

But this idea that human beings NEED to explicate a literal and vocal 'yes' before engaging each other sexually is nothing else but downright autistic, and really, just a sad thing that the institution of law has devolved this far.
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>>16469722
We're not talking about rape. We're talking about whether or not unsolicited sex is a compliment.

Unsolicited sex isn't necessarily rape. It's just sex which wasn't in the first place initiated by the second party.
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>>16469732
>You're spouting legal logic as if it meant anything.
lol, OP asked if she had been raped. I answered his question.

If you're criticial of the current jurisprudence, go ahead and voice that. Don't act as if what you're saying has any authority though. If you treat your ideology as fact, you'll end up providing misleading information.

Do you think that your argument of implicit consent has never been considered by the judiciary? It's the basis for the the defence of honest but mistaken belief of consent, and results in a complete acquittal. Where the mens reus (knowledge of the crime) can't be made out, the crime doesn't exist.

However, what you're arguing has absolutely no bearing to the facts as they have been presented. He knew that she couldn't consent because she was pretending to be asleep.

All you can do at this point is call her a liar. But then why are we considering these facts in the first place?
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>>16469726
>Things like her entire behavior
>her victim mentality
haha, where are you getting this from?
>the fact that you're taking her story as a fact when in fact it's just a story she told OP to justify herself
what was she justifying? she brought up the matter in the first place.

I feel like you're speaking from a place of deep bias. But that's just my impression.

>little things called presumption of innocence
>due process of law
OP wanted to know if the facts that he presented made out the elements of rape. I'm just explaining how the Court would reason through them. OP really hasn't given us much to go on as far as assessing the validity of what she was saying.
>>
That guy is a rapist because unconscious people cannot consent and everyone knows they can't consent and he thought she was unconscious but she has not been raped because she let that guy fuck her without advocating at all for herself. So she doesn't have the right to consider herself a victim.
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>>16469825
>So she doesn't have the right to consider herself a victim.
She was being fucked by a guy who was, by all accounts, willing to rape her. Why is it her duty to advocate for herself at this point? Do conventional assault victims need to put up a fight before you bestow upon them the sacred title of victimhood?

sexual assault is a tetchy definition, but I think it can be reduced to a 2 tier consideration:

(i) A person has been raped where there is sexual contact without consent, regardless of whether they resisted, regardless of any activity "that lead the rapist on"

HOWEVER
(ii) where it can reasonably be inferred that consent was given, there exists no moral blameworthiness on the part of the alleged rapist.
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>>16469878
There is a difference between not putting up a fight and pretending to be asleep.
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>>16469893
So if, while he was raping her, she said "I do not consent to this rape", you would consider the situation completely different?

You already concede that the guy was a rapist. Why would vocalizing her lack of consent make any material difference?
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>>16469900
Because the question is about what OP should think about the girl, thus her reaction to the situation matters. Had she objected to the rape, I would see her as a reasonable person, but as it is, she comes off as a gew fries short of a Happy Meal.
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>>16469878
Your made up definition of rape is entirely arbitrary and not consonant with any rape laws in the US. Did you get it from tumblr?

As for what rape legally is, let's take for example Kentucky:

>(1) A person is guilty of rape in the first degree when:
> (a) He engages in sexual intercourse with another person by forcible compulsion;
The guy did not resort to force or coercion, nor threat of the aforementioned.

>(b) He engages in sexual intercourse with another person who is incapable of consent because he:
>1. Is physically helpless; or
>2. Is less than twelve (12) years old.
She seems to be of age, and she was not physically helpless, only claimed she pretended to be, and we don't know if the guy even thought she was asleep. Probably not, as she claimed to cry (though we don't know if that's true either).
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>>16469922
According to the State of Kentucky, we can therefore conclude his behavior does isn't typical of the crime of rape. Now let's take a look at what the United States Uniform Code of Military Justice says:

> (a) Rape. — Any person subject to this chapter who commits a sexual act upon another person by —
>(1) using unlawful force against that other person;
No unlawful force was used.
>(2) using force causing or likely to cause death or grievous bodily harm to any person;
See above.
>(3) threatening or placing that other person in fear that any person will be subjected to death, grievous bodily harm, or kidnapping;
No threat was made.
>(4) first rendering that other person unconscious; or
He did not render her unconscious.
>(5) administering to that other person by force or threat of force, or without the knowledge or consent of that person, a drug, intoxicant, or other similar substance and thereby substantially impairing the ability of that other person to appraise or control conduct;
He did not spike any drinks.

Likewise, it's coherent to say he's also not a rapist according to the US Military Code.


Moreover, she can not deny her own agency, as she's (I'm assuming) an able, sane and legally capable adult. We know she invited him to her home, did not lock the door to her own room, did not protest on his actions, did not call for help or exhibited any dissenting behavior.

Last but not least, her behavior is incongruent with the behavior patterns associated with typical rape victims, of shame and guilt, and hatred towards her rapist. She, in fact, stopped talking to him, but they still do frequent the same social circle and she admits she's a nice person.

Were she to even file this to the police (an action she refrained from doing, likely due to backlash given her flaky story), he'd have the grounds to counter-sue her and many Courts would apparently agree.
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>>16469779
What do you mean all I can do at that point is call her a liar? I'm calling her a liar from the very beginning. Why are we considering the facts in the first place? Because she's making a false rape accusation.

Also first of all, what I explained is not an ideology. It's the absence of one. And it is also not an argument, but absence in lieu of a faulty one.

You're begging the question. You're assuming the guy is a rapist right off the bat, that he's guilty before being proven innocent. So of course the crime is obsolete in that case, because he isn't a rapist, that is, if the judge and jury determine that the woman isn't simply a woman who would irresponsibly provide ambiguous implicit consent in order to abuse that ambiguity later on by rewriting history and claiming she was raped all along, when, of course, in reality she just changed whims.

Law as an institution should be all about domesticating that kind of female stupidity. To wipe it completely off the face of mankind.
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>>16469825
That's probably the most interesting bullshit bargaining fitting all the pieces together when they don't fit reconciliation I've ever heard but the guy obviously isn't a rapist because the basic subtleties of human interaction has it that the guy knew that the girl pretended to fall asleep in such a vulnerable situation of being right next him because part of her, the majority of her, wanted him to fuck her.

And if that isn't the case, illegality can't be predicated upon pure stupidity.

It's like you take a bag full of money and leave it out overnight in a super public place and try to claim the person who took it 'stole' it.

It's not illegal for a person to take it in such an exposed case. You're just stupid.

Feminism paradoxically enough tries to claim that women can't be compared to that bag of money, that women somehow don't have intrinsic value. So strange when you really think about it.
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>>16470026
Your allegory is faulty. This would be more like leaving a bag of money in your house right by the front door, inviting a known klepto over for a visit and then leaving him unattended.
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>>16469878
>She was being fucked by a guy who was, by all accounts, willing to rape her.
Bullshit. That's in all likelihood just not true and you know it. The reason why he fucked her is because he, like any other fucking non autistic human being, took her passivity as implied consent.

Like everybody in the thread is missing this obvious factor it just reminds me I'm on 4chan right now.

In a real life situation, not in a fucking movie, not in a fucking video game, but in real life, if a girl was right next to me, even if I came to her house unsober and a little desperate, her obviously pretending to fall asleep next to me, where she knows that I know that she's pretending, is her clear way of communicating 'look, I want you to fuck me right now but I really just can't deal with the responsibility part of it, please see through me'.

We're talking about real life. That is the standard in real life. Deal with it you fucking downies.
>>
>>16470036
It's an analogy not an allegory. And that analogy is exactly illustrates my point I made in the post directly below yours. You're inviting a kleptomaniac to your home after having placed an open bag of money on your front doorstep, and you're leaving the house to go run errands.

In the real world, there is literally no other message which that communicates other than 'you, yes YOU, take my money, it is for you'.

You're trying to abstract the reality out of law. That's called abomination.
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>>16470042
>In a real life situation, not in a fucking movie, not in a fucking video game, but in real life, if a girl was right next to me, even if I came to her house unsober and a little desperate, her obviously pretending to fall asleep next to me, where she knows that I know that she's pretending, is her clear way of communicating 'look, I want you to fuck me right now but I really just can't deal with the responsibility part of it, please see through me'.
Absolutely truth.

https://www.law.cornell.edu/uscode/text/10/920

>(8) Consent.—
>(A) The term “consent” means a freely given agreement to the conduct at issue by a competent person. An expression of lack of consent through words or conduct means there is no consent. Lack of verbal or physical resistance or submission resulting from the use of force, threat of force, or placing another person in fear does not constitute consent. A current or previous dating or social or sexual relationship by itself or the manner of dress of the person involved with the accused in the conduct at issue shall not constitute consent.

>Lack of verbal or physical resistance or submission resulting from the use of force, threat of force, or placing another person in fear does not constitute consent

>RESULTING FROM THE USE OF FORCE

No force or threats were employed in this case, thereforce the implicit consent is legal.

Not rape, q.e.d.

/thread
>>
>>16470050
That's refreshing to read amongst a sea of philosophical wankfest feminist bullshit.

It recognises that wilful passivity is equivalent to female consent. It recognises the way things are naturally, how they are in reality.

But just wait until it becomes perverted by the total wankery of feminism. Absit omen.
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>>16470046
No. There is another, entirely possible message this action might, and probably does, convey: "I am stupid and make horrible decisions." Saying that that makes it okay to take advantage of such a person's stupidity is pretty fucked up.
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>>16470072
>Saying that that makes it okay to take advantage of such a person's stupidity is pretty fucked up.

Nobody gives a shit if it's moral or not. Sexual strategy is mostly amoral to begin with.

We're discussing if it's rape or not, and as such, this is a matter of legality, not morality.

The only truly immoral behavior here is her lying about it, though at least she didn't do it to the police/courtroom.
>>
>>16470072
What the fuck man read my original post:
>It's not illegal for a person to take it in such an exposed case. You're just stupid.

That was exactly my point. That legality cannot help you where you are just a horribly stupid decision maker of a person.

It doesn't necessarily mean it's 'the right thing to do', but right and wrong doesn't fit into sex in this case. Sex is just sex (outside of the context of with whom, how, when, or where, leaving only what, in which case, my point exactly, sex is just sex, there is no room for right or wrong in terms of the what).

The point is that this guy wasn't taking advantage of OP's girl because she clearly wanted him to do it.

And in the completely off fraction of a percentage of a chance that she truly is stupid enough to not put two and two together, then yes, she does seep through the cracks legally, and, as I explained, it has nothing to do with right and wrong.
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>>16470072
>Saying that that makes it okay to take advantage of such a person's stupidity is pretty fucked up.

I know, right? Taking advantage of an intoxicated young man who likes you, then manipulating him into a sexual situation which might be ambiguously interpreted by some and rape, then pretending to be asleep just so when you retell the story you remove your own agency in the situation, last but not least spreading this story to all his friends and your current boyfriend...

that's pretty fucked up, she really took advantage of him. and, as you say, that's not okay!
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>>16470080
>The only truly immoral behavior here is her lying about it
This is exactly the way I see it as well.

The only actual harm done here is how this women is subjugating the group of men who she knows are fatally naïve and wide eyed enough to believe her revision of history.
>>
>>16470080
Pretty sure the legality of this hinges heavily on whether the guy believed that she actually fell asleep, and as much as you can say that he must have not, because social dynamics, I can say that he might have, because drunken idiocy. However, none of that matters, because OP wanted to know what to think about his GF, which is clearly that she's kekoo for cocoa puffs.
>>
>>16470113
The legality of the situation I would say hinges majorly upon context, which is why law in itself is insufficient to decide its question. It's not algorithmic in other words. The jury and judge would be necessities here.
>>
OP here.

Never thought this would live for so long, pretty surprised.

Anyways, back on the subject. I've read most of the replies (there's a lot to read) and after reading everything that I've read, and taking into consideration all the opinions on this thread, and doing some critical thinking based on her character (since I know her very well) I have reached a conclusion that may or may not be true. I will not ask her to confirm because I don't want her to get defensive, but this is what I think happened.

She wanted to get rid of this guy forever, so she pretended to fall asleep next to him (if she even did pretend) and let him have sex with her. This way, she could claim rape. When he tried to contact her again, she confronted him about raping her and threaten him that if he ever contact her again, she would accuse him of rape, making him go away forever to avoid a rape charge.

Now the question I will get asked, is she really capable of letting a guy fuck her just to get rid of him? The answer is yes. There's a lot of reasons behind that yes, but just take it for face value. After reading all this thread and thinking critically, I am 95% sure she allowed him to fuck her just to get rid of him. As far as to why tell me the story? I'm still thinking that one through.

I will not be with her very long.
>>
>>16469928
>>16469922
>Your made up definition of rape is entirely arbitrary and not consonant with any rape laws in the US. Did you get it from tumblr?
It's the standing law in Canada, just arguing what I know. I assume you're from Kentucky?

>and we don't know if the guy even thought she was asleep. Probably not, as she claimed to cry (though we don't know if that's true either).
Do you understand how Courts determine "whether the guy even thought she was asleep"? Citing legislation will only get you so far, the meat of the interpretation is in the common law and how higher courts have made these determinations. You would get laughed out of court if you showed up with a criminal code and no case authorities to back up your argument.

I feel like I'm arguing in circles now, but I laid it out for you here
>>16469525
>>16469596

https://www.canlii.org/en/ca/scc/doc/1985/1985canlii79/1985canlii79.html

at para 23
> A conviction for sexual assault under s. 271(1) of the Criminal Code requires proof beyond a reasonable doubt of the actus reus and the mens rea of the offence. A person commits the actus reus if he touches another person in a sexual way without her consent. Consent for this purpose is actual subjective consent in the mind of the complainant at the time of the sexual activity in question

at para 37
> A conviction for sexual assault under s. 271(1) of the Criminal Code requires proof beyond a reasonable doubt of the actus reus and the mens rea of the offence. A person commits the actus reus if he touches another person in a sexual way without her consent. Consent for this purpose is actual subjective consent in the mind of the complainant at the time of the sexual activity in question
>>
>>16470126
it doesn't sound like a healthy relationship if you don't trust her

you're making the right decision to end it
>>
>>16470113
>Pretty sure the legality of this hinges heavily on whether the guy believed that she actually fell asleep,
That's actually entirely irrelevant as well, because we're discussing criminal law not civil law. I can tell that the wannabe lawyer who was arguing that the guy was a rapist earlier clearly has no experience with criminal law per se.

The actual issue here is that civil law operates on Formal Legal Truths: if both parties claim something must have happened, or if one party claims so, and the other does not manifest their opinion on it, the fact is taken by the Judge as truth inter partes.

Criminal Law, however, as is our little case here, operates on the paradigm Substantive Truth. Even if both parties agree events proceeded in a certain manner, the Judge is OBLIGED to verify if such has in fact taken place, and to make their judgement based on what actually happened, not on what the parties say happened. More evidence is needed to find the accused at fault in criminal cases than to find the defendant at fault in civil ones. To convict someone of a crime, the prosecution must show there is proof beyond a reasonable doubt that the person committed the crime and, in most cases, that they intended to commit it. Judges and juries cannot convict someone they believe probably committed the crime or likely is guilty - they must be almost certain.

How does this relate to this case:

The moment she admitted she was not asleep, but merely pretending, this disqualifies whatever intent of the man to commit a rape while she was asleep, because she, in fact, was NOT. Even if he DID intend to rape her while she was asleep, the mere fact that she was awake and not under force, fear or threat of force already informs the judge of her consent, and disqualifies the tipification of his alleged crime, which loses its object.

t. actual attorney since 2011 (but not from the US)
>>
>>16470130
at para 47
>The jurisprudence of this Court also establishes that there is no substitute for the complainant’s actual consent to the sexual activity at the time it occurred. It is not open to the defendant to argue that the complainant’s consent was implied by the circumstances, or by the relationship between the accused and the complainant. There is no defence of implied consent to sexual assault: Ewanchuk, at para. 31.

and para 48
>he cases on the mens rea defence of honest but mistaken belief in consent take the same view. At common law, this was a standard defence of mistake of fact: the accused was not guilty if he honestly believed a state of facts, which, if true, would have rendered his conduct lawful: Pappajohn v. The Queen, [1980] 2 S.C.R. 120, at pp. 134 and 139. In Ewanchuk, this Court held that it is not sufficient for the accused to have believed that the complainant was subjectively consenting in her mind: “In order to cloak the accused’s actions in moral innocence, the evidence must show that he believed that the complainant communicated consent to engage in the sexual activity in question” (para. 46 (emphasis in original)). See also Park, at para. 39 (per L’Heureux-Dubé J.). It thus is not sufficient for the accused to have believed the complainant was consenting: he must also take reasonable steps to ascertain consent, and must believe that the complainant communicated her consent to engage in the sexual activity in question. This is impossible if the complainant is unconscious.

If you think the law isn't fair, then get into legal reform.
>>
>>16470144
>>16470130
You are entirely wrong once again, because your whole premises are wrong.

See
>>16470144
>>16470130

She was not asleep. It does not matter one bit if he thought she was. Ask your Criminal Law professors.
>>
>>16470144
>If you think the law isn't fair, then get into legal reform.
Legal reform is in monopoly in about 90% of history due to economic, political, and social parameters. If feminism has perniciously come to dominate legal discourse then 'legal reform' because synonymous with masochistic humiliation and potential career suicide.

But don't take my word for it. Martyrs gonna martyr.
>>
>>16470144
> It thus is not sufficient for the accused to have believed the complainant was consenting: he must also take reasonable steps to ascertain consent, a

Canadian laws, everyone. They literally legislated "you must ask for verbal explicit consent every 10mins or else it's RAAAAPE"

That's the #1 feminazi nation on earth for you, because at least Sweden has mostly rational laws.
>>
>>16470168
Becomes* synonymous flipping autocorrect
>>
>>16470142
I'm not following

this statement
>Even if he DID intend to rape her while she was asleep, the mere fact that she was awake and not under force, fear or threat of force already informs the judge of her consent

seems inconsistent with this
>Consent for this purpose is actual subjective consent in the mind of the complainant at the time of the sexual activity in question

How can you apply objective criteria to a subjective standard? Is it just a different standard in the states?
>>
>>16470142
>The moment she admitted she was not asleep, but merely pretending, this disqualifies whatever intent of the man to commit a rape while she was asleep, because she, in fact, was NOT. Even if he DID intend to rape her while she was asleep, the mere fact that she was awake and not under force, fear or threat of force already informs the judge of her consent, and disqualifies the tipification of his alleged crime, which loses its object.

Pretty much this. As an analogy, imagine this situation:

- A thief sees a priest walking down the street with a large purse of church donations filled with money.

- The thief approaches the priest with the intent of theft - taking the priest/church's money for his own benefit. He takes the priest's purse and begins to flee.

- The thief is caught, however, by a policeman who happened to be nearby, and witnessed the scene.

- The priest then proceeds to explain to the policemen that the thief had his consent to take his purse, because he probably needs the money for his family.

- The policeman has no choice but to admit that, even though there was intent of the thief to commit the deed, the consent of the priest to the act commited retroactively invalidates his intent of theft.

That's what we have here ITT. She was awake, and insodoing, by her own free will, regardless of the fact that she feigned being asleep, have her tacit consent to the man's acts, regardless of his intent, which doesn't matter anymore from the moment such consent was achieved. You LITERALLY cannot rape the willing.
>>
>>16470200
>have
gave*
>>
>>16470200
>The priest then proceeds to explain to the policemen that the thief had his consent to take his purse
...except for the fact that she's saying she didn't provide consent at the time of the incident?

although she must be lying about that, because she's a whore.
>>
>>16470195
>Is it just a different standard in the states?
Your canadian laws are wacko.

The standard in the States was already posted here:
>>16470050
Read the link and read the quote in the post. She already gave her implicit consent. Such consent is not legally invalid because she was not under coercion or threat, it is in fact perfectly legal.
>>
>>16470228
>Your canadian laws are wacko.
If we take OP facts as true, this guy has the moral culpability of a rapist. He fully intended to rape, and carried out the act to the extent of his knowledge.

But I guess he should stay on the streets until he rapes somebody that is actually asleep. God Bless America.
>>
>>16470228
>>16470142
You're affirming the consequent. That statute merely defines what "doesn't" constitute consent. It doesn't expressly say that the lack of the elements constitutes consent.

Is there any case authority that backs up your claim?
>>
>>16470252
>If we take OP facts as true
We have no reason to do so.

>his guy has the moral culpability of a rapist. He fully intended to rape,
That's exactly what the point argued in those posts:
>>16470200
>>16470142
Even if he DID have the intent (which doesn't even seem to be the case), IF he did, her consent would retroactively remove his culpability, because, from the moment it's established she IS willing, his behavior no longer fits under the tipification of rape.

From the moment she implicitly consented, it does not matter what he believed, there is no point in even bringing it up anymore.
>>
>>16470220
Read the thread we already went over this in full.

Basically the idea that you need to explicate consent rather than simply imply it (through passivity), is superfluous and not at all how human beings interact with one another.

She was passive. That's the point anon is making when he points out that her wilfully pretending to be asleep retroactively voids any sort of intent the guy had. Passivity without force is consent.

It might seem wrong at first but the more you think about it, the more you realise it absolutely is correct because there is nothing which should disable an adult from being expressly nonconsensual about something where there is no parameter of force involved.

The only argument left is that some women become 'paralysed with fear', or something grasping along those lines, but only for the most neurotic of women is that actually true. It isn't generalisable.
>>
>>16470277
>That statute merely defines what "doesn't" constitute consent. It doesn't expressly say that the lack of the elements constitutes consent.

Of course it does.

That's something every law student learns in their first month of Law school:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Everything_which_is_not_forbidden_is_allowed

If >>16470050
>Lack of verbal or physical resistance or submission resulting from the use of force, threat of force, or placing another person in fear does not constitute consent.

... is true, then INTRINSECALLY
Lack of verbal or physical resistance or submission NOT resulting from the use of force, threat of force, or placing another person in fear DOES constitute consent.

Seriously. First month of law school. Skipped class much?
>>
>>16470284
>consent cannot be given if you are asleep
>she was not asleep
>therefore she gave consent

>apples are not purple
>oranges are not purple
>therefore oranges are apples

American law sounds like fun times.
>>
>>16470320
I'm not even american or from an english-speaking country. That's just common sense amongst legislators everywhere in the world, with the apparent exception of Canada (and maybe rapetastic countries like South Africa, but in the opposite sense).

>she was not asleep
>therefore she gave consent
That's correct, as she's a competent adult who was not under force coercion and she did not object. It cannot be any other way, as anything different would be an injustice.
>>
>>16470320
She gave consent through her lack of non-consent because she's a cognitively functioning adult human being and not a vegetable.

If someone is having sex with you and you are under no threat of force there is absolutely no reason for you to not refuse them.

If you don't do that then you are furnishing them with consent by default. Because law can't fucking read minds. You moron.
>>
>>16470345
>there is absolutely no reason for you to not refuse them.
unless you think they're asleep
>>
>>16470346
That response made absolutely no sense.

I was referring to the woman in the situation and you bring up the man. Get some better reading comprehension sport.
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