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How To Tell When You're Falling Out of Love

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>how do you know you're falling out of love?

I used to be head over heels for a guy. thought that he was the only one for me and it used to hurt when I went more than a week without seeing him. always needed to be in contact. could make me smile just by looking at me. and God damn, I never dropped spaghetti as hard as I did with him. but now I see him as a normal person, I don't need him like I used to. realised if he just left... I wouldn't mind. it's not all my fault though. I didn't change. I'm rambling on.
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>>16459938

Being in love is more of a choice than a feeling (at least, when you've been together for a long time). Once the honeymoon phase is gone, it's on both people to make it fun and interesting. If you drop out the moment you stop feeling like the other person is "normal" or "not all that special", then you're never going to be happy. I mean, it'd be different if the other person did some stuff to harm you or wasn't putting forth an adequate amount of effort. That's when you should probably move on.
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>>16459938
>the moment you stop
Bah! *the moment you start
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>>16459938
Your honeymoon phase of a relationship ends after 6 months to a year.
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>>16459964
Only if you let it happen. I've been with the same person for over half my life and still feel like I'm in the honeymoon phase.
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>>16459948
>>16459964

we aren't dating.

the story is that I had been seeing this guy from the start of the year until
early October, but then we stopped, because he moved out of my best friend's house. he hasn't invited
me to his house but makes it clear that he still likes me by sexting, that and other small affectionate gestures. he's a bad person, everyone has been telling me for a while... now the rose coloured glasses have come off and I see him for the selfish person he is. anyway, I know it's definitely not the honey moon phase being over because we were never really something to begin with.
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I guess I should actually be asking how to move on.
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>>16459969
Then I'd say you were never really in love with him, because you're now seeing him for who he really is.
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>>16459964
For some it never ends. This has been tested. Those couples still experience the same honeymoon feelings after a decade+. Must be cool, but extremely tiring. It has been linked to lower prefrontal cortex activity as well. Being on a love high makes you dumber. Enjoy.
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>>16459974
Cut contact and give it time. Staying friends isn't a good idea when dealing with residual feelings.
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>>16459969
How is he a bad person?
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>>16459981
how do I not make it awkward since we have the same classes and share the same friends at college?
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>>16459983
basically he makes everyone feel bad about themselves, he constantly asks for money because he spends all his on games, he doesn't have any other hobby aside from games so it's really hard to make conversation with him. he's the type of person to insult a person, call it a joke, but will get offended if you insult him (even though it's all in good nature). he's narcissistic and a downer.
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>>16459985
>how do I not make it awkward since we have the same classes and share the same friends at college?
Well, that's unfortunate. Just slowly stop answering texts in an effort to phase him out of your life. When you see him in person, stay civil, but don't put effort into being friendly. Start casually dating others in the meantime.
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>>16459991
forgot to add that he will go on about his problems but the second someone else vents, he has to 'one up' them, or will immediately change the subject so it's back to him being the victim.
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>>16459993
thanks, I'll try that. thank god it's only for another 3 months lol.
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>>16459991
Why did you like him in the first place? Maybe take a good look at yourself and what it is in you that attracted you to him. Kill that in yourself and cut him out of your life mercilessly. Just my 50 cents.
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>>16459996
>thank god it's only for another 3 months lol.
Yeah, it won't be so bad then. Some people end up stuck around the same person for years after coming to a realization.
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>>16460005
it was the dumbest thing ever. he hated me for 2 years before that, only been with one other girl (sexually & romantically), intelligent, cynical, knew about Internet culture without being cringey... and I guess I was attracted because I wanted what I couldn't have (for so long). he's been understanding of someone of my mental issues and he isn't clingy.
but now I realised someone who hates themselves shouldn't be with someone who hates everything else.
>>
something in the pit of your stomach just knots up every time you say "i love you" because you know that you're lying... but you're an addict and constantly making excuses or your own poor judgement and unwilling to admit that you've made yet another mistake falling too fast for someone twice your age twice divorced and not taking care of any of his estranged children.............. instead you explain away the depression with "maybe it's just pregnancy hormones" because you havent had your period in three months (though you suspect it's just because of the drug use you still refuse to take a test) and he goes out every night now for hours without saying why and sometimes even leaves after you've been crying and you just keep crying and shoving cookies in your face and wondering if he's coming back like he promised or if he's left you forever. and you wonder if you'll still be able to make $100 per blow job after 8 months off the streets....
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