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>been dating gf for a couple of weeks now >early on she

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>been dating gf for a couple of weeks now
>early on she joked/talked about how she undressss in front of her deeply friendzoned guy friend
>when we started dating she said she'd stop because she's all mine now
>she lives with her ex bf's family (he's out of state) because rent is cheap
>last night she mentioned that she used to or still does undress in front of ex bf
>said that she still loves him but like a brother

How do I communicate to her that this isn't ok? Should I just flip things around and ask her how it would make her feel if I were undressing in front of my ex gf? Is this the sort of thing you would break up with a girl over if she didn't stop?

She also said that the friendzoned guy looks away when she undresses and that she didn't remember telling me that she'd stop undressing in front of friendzoned guy.

On a different note, it's perfectly reasonable to be concerned/upset about this, right? Just want to make sure I'm not making mountains out of molehills. I get the impression that she's somewhat of an exhibitionist.
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Different people have different levels of comfort when it comes to nudity.

I'm a dude, and I'm one of those guys who doesn't ever wear shorts (unless running/swimming), always wears a belt, only wears long sleeve button up shirts, wears undershirts. Essentially there's like none of my skin showing (and I'm in California btw)

But If you've ever seen me naked, IDGAF and will walk around naked around you because you've already seen it.

I've got a female friend who's got the same DGAF view. And with me in particular, I've just stripped her and thrown her in the shower, held/washed puke out of her hair, and nursed her from killer hangovers enough times to where that sense of modesty doesn't really exist between us.

Maybe it's that, maybe it's the exhibition thing, who knows. Just saying, nudity just isn't as big a deal to some people.
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You communicate to her that this is not ok by saying "this is not something that is ok in a healthy relationship, and its not somethimg that i should have to tell another adult to stop doing"

Then you walk away and never look back. As someone who is to old to put up with that shit, you dont have time to cater to people like this.
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Well ah'll tell u whut, the 'friendzoned' guy is gonna git yer girlfriend preggers, their gonna git married, then yer gonna git her preggers with her next kid, friendzoned guy and her will git divorced, you'll marry her and adopt the first kid, and then her ex-bf will git her preggers with her third kid, and then she gonna find Jesus and divorce you to marry the preacher.

But its all okay, cause you ain't gay!
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>>16451701
So what do you think I should do then? I'm thinking that if she doesn't respect me or care about me enough to stop doing something that bothers me, then I should go ahead and break up with her. Like the other guy said, it's kind of ridiculous that this is even a topic for discussion (I'm 22 and she's 23).

Let me put it this way:

If you were dating a girl and she found out about you undressing in front of other girls, would you stop if she asked you to? Would you stop if you cared about her, even if it seemed like a silly gripe to you?
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You don't. You just leave her.

She's not a child and you're not her dad. The time for communication was when the people who were supposed to raise her well failed to do so. Now is the time for you to have standards and for her to practice self-awareness. It's not your mission in life to fix every old girl.
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>>16451969
I mean, shouldn't I at least try communicating to her clearly that undressing in front of other guys is a deal breaker for me? Maybe I haven't been clear enough? I think you're right; I just don't want to discard a relationship until I've communicated clearly how I feel about the reason...
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>>16452008
No, you shouldn't bother serving as the Professor of Etiquette at Life University. No one invited you to be a guest lecturer, either.

You don't need to be clear. Good sense is clear in this regard. She clearly lacks it and that's sooooo not your problem.

What you're describing at the end there is a bad habit. Don't chew your nails and don't "communicate" things on your way out. What you want here is actually inappropriate itself.
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>>16452008
>I just don't want to discard a relationship until I've communicated clearly how I feel about the reason...

So you tell her your reason while dumping her. Problem solved.
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>>16451683
This isn't really going to answer your question how you like, but I need to vent it.

People need to quit thinking they can control other people.

She is your gf and not your robot.

The best you can do is respectfully explain your view.

If gf dont give a fuck, then you have a choice of how you respond...either put up with it or leave.

Having a fight with a gf of "a couple of weeks" is weak shit.

If you don't like your gf's behavior, then you dont like your gf.

So leave dumbass.

Why do you think you get to tell her how to behave at all, but especially after 2-3 weeks.

JEEZZZUSSS - you cringelords need to get your shit straight.
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>>16452043
You don't get to tell her how to behave, you simply tell her how she has to behave IF she wants a relationship with you.

If she doesn't, then you leave. That's that. But I do consider important to tell her what you expect of her, the same way she should tell you what she expects from you.
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>>16452043
She acts like the undressing isn't a big deal and implied that it was/is innocent. Communicating to her that the undressing bothers me—regardless of whether its innocent or not—seems reasonable to me. Asking her to be sympathetic to my feelings doesn't seem cringeworthy at all to me.

If she doesn't care about me enough to stop the undressing, then yeah, I should break up with her.

What's the problem if I talk to her about it and she stops?
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>>16452070
it's*
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>>16452070
It's something so obvious and fundamental to decency that you're proudly displaying how little respect you have for yourself. "I am only worth the company of woman-children who need to be asked to act like decent adults." On that same vein, you wouldn't find it beneath you if you had to ask her to shower regularly? Hold down a job? Arrive on time to the plans you make, or even arrive altogether to her commitments?

Have you so little respect for yourself that you think this is the kind of relationship you deserve?
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>>16452070
nothing is wrong with what you have just said.

Just understand that she is her own person, so if she doesn't want to stop, then there is no reason to get mad, just leave.

Or learn to deal with it

Either is fine. Getting pissed off and arguing about it is moronic and reflects a a general immaturity, esp since you have just barely been dating.

I may have misunderstood your original question, based on reading so many posts in here crying about "why wont my SO do exactly what I want and act exactly like I think they should and no I wont break up they should bend to my will."

Honestly, at "a couple of weeks" its hard for me to imagine calling anyone my gf, so maybe that is what triggered my overly harsh response.

All the best.
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>>16452079
exactly the point - if you told them once, maybe they didn't "know" they needed to bathe daily.

But if you had to tell them all the time, why would you bother?
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>>16452079
Thanks for encouraging me to respect myself, Anon. I appreciate it and you're absolutely right.
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Why does your girlfriend feel the need to undress so often? Does she change outfits constantly? Why does she feel the need to change outfits when hanging out with male friends? Just curious.
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>>16452087
I'd argue that by adulthood, something as fundamental as hygiene being "unknown" just isn't okay. The social retardation and failed awareness there is simply staggering.

There are absolutely things which a person might not know (and in fact perhaps couldn't have known) about one's preferences, and that's absolutely something which you need to talk about and allow time for consideration and/or change. Only then might one find it better to walk away than to continue nagging.

But I put strutting around nude around other men on the same level as bathing frequently. That's just fucking absurd. Once is once too much.
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>>16452085
I didn't mean to imply that I am or am going to be mad. I'm just trying to figure out how the hell to handle this because it's kind of an unusual situation. The weirdness is only compounded when taking into account that she had a stroke in middle school; it's possible that her indecency was/is caused by the stroke (not to say that the stroke justifies her indecency).

And I definitely don't have the mindset of someone attempting to control a girlfriend. She's just encroaching on one of my boundaries and I'm trying to figure out what to do. And I can understand your reaction to her being my girlfriend after 2 weeks. We both felt chemistry and compatibility (despite our differences) and decided that we like/d each other enough to become bf/gf.

Thanks for the input, Anon.
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>>16452091
I don't know the frequency of the undressing. It could be as often as you've implied or much less often.

>>16452094
I don't know if she's strutting around nude in front of other men. She's said that she undresses in front of her friend (who, in her words, is 'deep in the friendzone') and that he looks away.

At the beginning of our relationship, she said she wouldn't undress in front of her friend anymore, because she was 'all mine now.' Now she's saying she doesn't remember saying that. Either she legitimately doesn't remember, or she likes the attention too much to not soak it up.
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>she lives with her ex bf's family

that's a red flag and weird enough as it is....
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>>16451683
Not trying to judge your situation, but the fact she's living with her ex's family seems to be the biggest issue here.
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>>16452137
>>16452167
Yeah I know. She said she pays $250 rent, food and utilities included. It is weird, but you can't beat that price. She's also trying to save money for college so cheap rent is a necessity. Not trying to justify the weirdness, just giving context.
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>>16452182
It's weird and bound to cause issues for you down the line.

Just a heads up
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>>16451683
>How do I communicate to her that this isn't ok?

By cutting contact and leaving forever.

You can't, CAN'T change a ho.

Accept this and improve as a man. Insist on this doomed relationshit and be cheated on.
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>>16451701
You're retarded.

Here are the signs that are the flags OP:
> undressing in front of anyone other than you or direct family
>saying she forgot something she said that was important
>any contact with ex bf at all
>'friend zoned guy friends' at all

Any time a man hears these things he should probe bluntly to find out exactly what she means by them. You must not allow yourself to be disrespected in such a fashion.

Also: you're 2 weeks in man. You only wanted to test the waters and shit do they look murky. It's an easy out for you, you haven't had time to work up a real connection so it won't hurt to nip it in the bud and cut it off now. Stay away from people like this succubus.
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