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>tfw 4 years behind peers because of fucking up (not getting

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>tfw 4 years behind peers because of fucking up (not getting a job due to bad university choices and lack of networking due to being aspie)
>socially awkward
>zero friends
>kissless virgin
>spend all my time inside
>everyone else has friends, go to parties, travel, do interesting things with their lives, etc.
what can i do to stop feeling like shit /adv/? i feel so pathetic

what's worse is that i don't know why anyone, especially my oneitis from work, would even like me when there are younger, more popular, better looking, less awkward and interesting guys around
>>
I think we both know what the solution is anon. You won't be getting anywhere and you prospects look very bleek. As time passes you will continue to hold on to hope but slowly learn that your goals are not obtainable.

Might as well do the deed now and save yourself a life of misery and failure.
>>
>>16422012
>telling people on the internet to kill themselves
not sure if you're projecting or just really that pathetic

i'm not even that autistic
>>
Go buy a plane ticket to somewhere youve always wanted to go to. Pack one bag. Only google the nearest hostile to stay at. (you should probably start easy and pick a country you know the language or that is generally bilingual english as one of them). Its going to force you out of your shell.

You probably wont do this. But if you spend like a month in another country youll be forced to go out. If it doesnt fix your social issues atleast you can have seen some of the world.
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>>16422018

Your life is in shambles and you have a bleek future. In fact it is so bad that you are askin advice on 4chan.

My life is going well, you are the one with the problems. Now I gave you advice and whether you want to take it is your prerogative.
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>>16422027
thanks, i do plan on traveling somewhere over the holidays
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>>16422040
I don't have any solid advice OP, but ignore this troll. He's obviously unable to take other's feelings into account. I'd advise OP to stop comparing himself go others so much, find out what you enjoy and work hard. Maybe try counselling for your social anxiety, CBT could work.
>>
>>16421993
>job due to bad university choice
What bad choices?
>>
Sorry but who is that orgasm phantasm?
>>
>>16422090
OP didn't mention what country he was from, could have free healthcare. Work hard essentially meant for him to improve in the areas he wants without getting distracted by constantly comparing himself with others, thus leading to him feeling less "like shit".

Remember anon being an edgelord stopped being cool three years ago. Less cringy.
>>
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>>16422073
thanks for the advice

>>16422084
being shy has held me back the most
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>>16422157
What did you study?
>>
>>16421993
Honestly, I've seen any of these threads pan out, mine included.

If /adv/ could give decent advice solely on making decent friends, at least half the threads would be solved.

I'd say aim for other geeks but /adv/ can't even help with that.
>>
>>16422234
this desu senpai
>>
>>16421993
Call an old friend. Say "I've been out of circulation for a while and it's time to rejoin the world" (no more details needed) Invite them to get together to catch up.
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>>16421993
>>16422157
Sorry I can't help you Opie. but who is this semen demon?
>>
OP, could you give us a city or at least a country so we could give realistic advise. And how long can you take that holiday and what can be the budget
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>>16424126
London.
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>>16424255
If you can find yourself a place to sleep and shower I will show you around brussels for a day or two
>>
learn to play magic the gathering and go to places where you can play it with other people
>>
>>16421993
Stop regarding regarding yourself as a failure and others as winners at life.
If others like you, they like you.
The problem is that you apparently don't like yourself. Either learn to appreciate who you are or start improving if you're unhappy with it.
>>
>>16424126
Toronto

>>16425498
Thanks, I do need to stop doing that
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>>16423820
Tried it once. . We never hung out after

Don't really have other friends I can try it again with
>>
>>16424035
April summers senpai
>>
>>16425317
Not my game tbqh
>>
OP you seem to assume your life a race, a straight shot and are too worried of others experiences to make some of your own.

Taking a detour would be my advice
>>
>>16426887
thanks, i know i shouldn't think of it like that. but it's hard not too.
>>
First thing to remember is that you are not behind your peers. I felt like that when I first came out of university but it turned out most of them had gotten shit jobs (what the hell is event management?) or they were travelling on their parent's money.

What I'd do is pick your passion or dream and go for it. Let's say you really want to make and design video games. If you start dedicating your time to that then the fact that Sarah you went to school with is traveling in South America will seem irrelevant because she's not creating anything. She's not doing anything. And she hasn't eaten you at your dream.

Come back to me when your friends have beaten you at your own dream.
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>>16427600
>What I'd do is pick your passion or dream and go for it. Let's say you really want to make and design video games. If you start dedicating your time to that then the fact that Sarah you went to school with is traveling in South America will seem irrelevant because she's not creating anything. She's not doing anything. And she hasn't eaten you at your dream.
i don't have a good dream though.
like, even if my dream was to make a video game, in all likelihood whatever game i make won't be highly rated or a topseller. or maybe i don't even finish it.

and so I'll be dedicating my time, with nothing really to show for it, i'll just be wasting my time

while others are out having fun... at least they have cool experiences and stories to tell. while i can talk about how i failed at my dreams
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>>16427614
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>>16422027
Damn I have wanted to do this. Am thoroughly disabled and would probably die though.

I used to bus into the city 40 miles away. I walked around, dozens of miles a day, talked to strangers, tried not to get mugged, wrecked my health but opened my mind. Napped in some weird places.
>>
>>16427677
Bump
>>
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>>16426679
Thank you based anon
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>>16427614
this is your life op. while you're sitting on 4chan others are out partying, making money, making relationships. but at least you're alive at all. people did all the same things for thousands of years before youwere alife and will continue to doit for thousands more after you die. and there are thousands of other peoples just like you (I'm one of them). except I used to be one of those people at the top, and I threw it all away cuz i'm an idiot. so I can't not only compare myself to others, but I cant compare myself to myself either or I get depressed. so I compare myself to other animals. I look in the trees and see the bugs, the squirrels, the lizards, and I think "they don't give a fuck about anything outside this tree, o tu of the whole world this tree is their existence" and then I think i'm just an animals too, I happen to be one of the apex of life, the only life we know of that can even observe other animals ths way. I have so much to be happy about just to be a animal , and then not only do I get to be an animal m, I get to be a human. I think its cuz I'm so content just existing as a human that I am ok with living a life others see as a pathetic meager existenc. so what? I use my brain I use my body the same way as any others animals or even humans I just use it to do different things but these thigns I do are still just as meaningful , which is to say they aren't meaningful at all to anyone but myself. and that's your problem op. you aren't comfortable being yourself.

just be yourself.
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>>16428852
Not sure if being existential

>just be yourself
Or trolling
>>
>>16429337
>what can i do to stop feeling like shit /adv/? i feel so pathetic
>being shy has held me back the most

Nop not trollinh op Ned's to start being more comfortable with himself, who he is natyrally. I was tried to be someone else as I'm a people pleaser I tried to be the kind of person whomever I was with would like best. And it'd all was a massive waste of mental exertion. I was cringing inside all the time by my act. Just accepting myself as an animal took a weight of my shoulders, I neednt be intimidated by the opinions of others as I'm the apex life for ; we're all thr apex togethrr so people try to look for weaknesses in others only when they feel weak themselves (weakness is an illusion manifested by its belief). We're all equally the apex, no one is better than anybode else, everything you ever did or said could be observed as an action or behavior of the apex life form. And don't give the bulls hit of "there are hundreds of trillions of bacteria as part of you" yes bacteria are wonderful but it'd us who are the apex of existencw because bacteria do not manipulate matter to their will.
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>>16429626
> we're all thr apex togethrr so people try to look for weaknesses in others only when they feel weak themselves (weakness is an illusion manifested by its belief). We're all equally the apex
is this true though? people care about how they size up and compare to others a lot though. like, people look up to successful people for example
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>>16430309
There can't be true biolohical equality due to causal variation, but excluding those born with severe brain damage (of which there are still likely tradeoffs of some sort) we r e all equally the apex, we can all do things no other life can such as use language , imagine, and manipulate matter to bering such dreams into reality.

However zocially, economically, biologicallu, and so on we aren't equal of course. Foe example.
>like, people look up to successful people for example
People look up to Micheal Phelps for winning all those medals. It was a legendary feat. But he couldn't have done it without biological traits such a a long torso and socioeconomic advantagrs and so on. The true feat is he found his strengths and applied himself. That is my point here. His reward is recognition, status, wealth, etc., but none of that makes him a better human. Remember that. You can devote yourself to your purpose, and maybe yoy arenrt rewarded because iys not something our culture values like Olympic medals. But we're all equally humam, we're the apex of all we know for fucks sake! As humans we ave driven a mass exrinction event by mere "collateral damage" of finding food. So someone like op who feels like nothing because he doesn't meet society's expectations should remind himself that it's his own expectations of his elf that matter, because the universe syre as shit diesnt care, and whatever hes thinking now isnt wotking out for him. He's too " shy" to be the person he wants to be for fear of what? Ops only reason to feel pathetic is for self limiting himself and. feeling bad about it. Either be comfortable with your self or change it at all costs.
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>>16429626
damn man are you a yogi?
>>
>>16430745
I'm very ware of my worthlessness bit guess what I'm still a human and I love e myself for it. I'm not gonna waste my time and ability to think as a human by having negative thoghhgx when I ,an have self important thoughts like these that make me feel good about myself. I've cured my ldeptession this way without anyone else's help and call me a narcissist or whatever else the fact of the matter is
1 in not hurting snyone.
2 I love myself more than ever bEfore
>>
It doesn't matter what you have but who you are. Imagine if you were a hobo, but a hobo who has two degrees, has travelled around the world, knows four languages, volunteers helping orphans, and has been named City Hero for saving a baby in a fire?


Everyone would love you regardless of what you have. And you wouldn't give a shit if they love you or not, because you'd feel totally good about yourself for what you are. And you probably would get money eventually since everyone loves you and you are so capable.

So don't stay home crying like a little bitch because you don't get anything you want. You must focus on who you are and what you are capable of, and then everything else will come to you when you are good enough.
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>>16430834
This. Lose the entitled mindset. Focus on developing yourself and you'll have much more value than any material possession could bestow. You just have to know what you need and work for it. No excuses.
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>>16430882
My underlying message is perfectly coherent I'm just typing on a phone and didn't bother correcting because I figured no one would read if it bothered them.

Is this you btw? Lol Probably not I guess I'm just really good at mental gymnastics
https://dat.fgtsi.org/soc/1445899766033s.jpg
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>>16430948
So is that you or not? I want to know because if that is you, you're the only person I've ever argued with online lol and if you think you're so good at psychoanalysis why do you spend so much time using it for evil purposes on 4chan?
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>>16430866
what if i don't make it and get what i need?
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>>16431681
This is the defeatist mindset which you must also work to overcome. There's so much more to it than "making it". You know what they say about life being a journey, not a destination. You can't fail or win at life. Both are subjective. When you think you're furthest from "making it" you might be closest, or you might already have made it in the eyes of others. You have to know what you're capable of and work toward it, and then you'll make it as long as you don't make excuses to give up. You'll feel much better about yourself even if you fail along the way. As long as you keep trying you'll get what you need.
>>
Change or die.
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>>16432081
>You have to know what you're capable of and work toward it
And how do I find what I should work towards that I will be capable of doing?
>>
>>16432488
to be or not to be
>>
I wonder if the internet has increased the number of NEETs/Shut-ins?

Like without the internet I guess most were forced to interact with society, for better or worse.
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>>16432228
but how can i change, what should i change?

like, i know i want to be the opposite of many of the things. but where do i even start? is there something specific i should do, or just 'be myself' and not to be so anxious and to stop comparing myself to others

what are specific steps i can take.
>>
>>16432634
how is that relevant to that post?
>>
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bump
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>>16427677
I find the most attractive part of this is her hair and glasses...the curves the flops of hair tuffs and the sun glasses being in the right place and time to make it so crisp...god damn sometime I forget how simply beautiful some things can be...
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>>16434346
>>
bump

>tfw want friends and gf
>seems like /adv/ is telling me to focus on self-improvement and improving self-esteem
>>
>>16422040
>My life is going well
>is posting on 4chan
>on /adv/
gtfo, you're truly the most pathetic person ITT
>>
>>16427614
>in all likelihood whatever game i make won't be highly rated or a topseller. or maybe i don't even finish it.
you'll only know if you try
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>>16429626
>bacteria do not manipulate matter to their will.
sorry to burst your bubble buddy, look up "transformation bacteria animal DNA" :)

I fully agree with you on the rest though
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>>16435160
Not into making games, but the number of successful indie devs is still a fraction of the total devs
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>>16425299
>Brussels
Yeah... That'll improve his view on the world.
>>
>>16421993
Good lord, OP. That woman is fine. You sure know how to bait in the anons.
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>>16435729
This
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>>16435729
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>>16421993
I stopped being kissless when drunk and dancing in a club, it's that easy, just talk to someone and then ask if you'd like to dance and then just lean in
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>>16436648
how can i go to clubs if i don't have friends? i'd be the loner, might not even get in, especially since i'm not even attractive
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>>16436363
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>>16437116
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brehs, bump
>>
>>16435502
How can i improve my view of the world? Where should I travel to?
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>>16438678
>How can i improve my view of the world?

Never visit /adv/ again.
>>
>>16435149
And /adv/ is right to do that. You won't make friends or get a gf if you don't improve yourself.

Who wants to date a bum?
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>>16421993
You sound exactly like me OP.

I don't have any advise expect to continue finding ways to improve yourself and to find happiness.
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>>16439263
>Who wants to date a bum?
i do need to improve a lot.
i want to play counter-strike for a bit, but maybe i should read one of my many books instead
>>
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>>16439218
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>>16441563
>tfw you will likely never be on a personal boat with a qt or multiple qts
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>>16439226
>Never visit 4chan again.

fixed
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>>16422073
cock/ball torture??!
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>>16421993
Some people do look this good irl.

I just don't wanna live. Being what i am forever.
Not worth it.
>>
>>16425990
>toronto

Wanna start training boxing/muaythai or judo with me?

I'm an awkward guy myself looking for a training partner
>>
>>16422027
>>16422060
Make sure to buy a return ticket though to avoid being sent back. Other than that, this is decent advice if you have the money.
>>
>>16421993

Sounds like me, except my parents had be saddled with debt and ruined by credit by the time I turned 19. Couldn't even get a federal student loan so no college.

I did manage to pick up a part time job when I was 21, though. I have two or three friends but they're all online. Everything else is a perfect match though.

I think a lot of it has to do with being a guy and not liking sports. Hard to make social connections when you don't fit well with the rest.
>>
>>16443963
I don't know, I'm the same way and I love sports. Watched 4 football games today.
>>
Ha this thread's still alive

>>16435164
Well I'll be damned. This doesn't burst my bubble though. Bacteria are incredible, and they only get cooler as we learn more about them. It's pretty cool that we support them (and also kill them) without even trying, simply by existing.

My point though was that no other animal reshapes their environment like we do. Extracting materials from the corners of the planet and transforming them into whatever we can imagine.

>I fully agree with you on the rest though
That means a lot, I'd never expressed these opinions before and the troll (whose posts have been removed to my delightful surprise) and yogi remark made me figure I was treading wacko territory
>>
>>16422157
I'm extremely shy even by tech nerd standards (never really even spoke to any classmates in my engineering uni outside of group projects in 8+ years) and somehow I managed to graduate and land a job at a fuckhuge tech company. If I can get through it, I figure social anxiety isn't as big an impediment to career growth as you'd think, at least for STEM fields.

It's not actually going to fix anything either, I'm making $100k a year and am still in the same situation (cripplingly shy, zero friends, kissless virgin, closeted homo in ultraliberal city, spend all time inside, rarely leave apartment except for work/groceries/etc.)
>>
>>16442938
how would i get advice if i needed it?

>>16443879
not into martial arts. rock climbing or gym buddy?

>>16444132
i'd like to be in your position, but i make less than you and i'm in a field where my social skills matter as i deal with customers
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>>16444712
Bump

>tfw at work and haven't talked to anyone all day
>overhear coworkers chatting and laughing together
>going to eat lunch together, etc
>>
>>16445328
Bump
>>
>>16421993
>4 years behind peers because of fucking up (not getting a job due to bad university choices and lack of networking due to being aspie)
>>socially awkward

BBBYFDDDDDYY YEArs behind!! lyyy

Get over yourself, fucking faggot.
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>>16422027
I did.
I went to .. america an met a girl there.
We had sex.
It was shit.
Then i came home.
And she didn't want to talk to me anymore...

i wonder if it was because of my accent.
>>
>>16445985
4 years behind is a lot imo
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>>16445991
>tfw no UK or Australian accent
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>>16439263
THIS
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>>16422012
>>16422040
>roleplaying as an edgy anime character
>can't even spell bleak or use proper 1st grade conventions
>still haven't removed yourself from the gene pool
I think we both know the solution is, Anon.
>>
Seems like you should just work at McDonald's and marry the ugliest girl possible. When you are about to die at 50, regret having never fucked even a 2.
>>
>>16422040
>In fact it is so bad that you are askin advice on 4chan.
is it any worse than asking for advice anywhere else on the internet?
>>
>>16448228
Why so rude f.a.m.?
I have a job too
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>>16448410
This tbqh
>>
>>16447984
this desu
>>
OP even if you get laid or get friends it wouldn't improve your life all that much.In the end it doesn't really matter. You won't get salvation just by doing these things. In fact I didn't see what the whole fuss was about when I lost my virginity. You have to somehow stop being this negative. Get yourself a goal, something to work towards (we can't do that for you), and improve in baby steps. Also consider the fact that everybody has his/her problems, you have to deal with this, other people have to deal with other stuff, you can't really compare yourself to others. Also appreciate the little things like warmth of a room when the weather is shit,food,beauty,music etc. A good cup of cofee in the morning can be as good as sex, it all depends on how much joy you can get out of it.
>>
>>16449850
Thanks, that does seem like a good way to see things.
But finding a good, realistic and achievable goal looks impossible
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>>16448228
nice projecting
>>
>>16426279

I got really curious when i read some of these "i have no friends threads"

I'm indifferent to people and don't even talk to someone unless they talk to me first, and i still meet a lot of people all the time, and even have some "close" friends.

You have to leave your basement and try to make things happen if you really want to make friends
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>>16422040
>>16422090
reminder to op that if you take someone who posts pictures of chinese cartoon girls on the internet seriously, you probably should kill yourself
>>
honestly if you want to have friends and stuff you need to work on fixing your life

eventually there comes a point where you can't have your cake and eat it. when you're a kid you're free to fuck around and no one cares cause you're all kids. in the adult world whether people admit it or not, adults are attracted to success, drive, confidence. these are all traits that attract friends and the opposite sex.

so basically i'd say don't worry so much about virginity or friends or whatever. just work on improving your standing in this world. do something you really wanted to do. and if it boils down to you just really wanting a fuck, just get a hooker and get it over with. then you'll see that fucking is just fucking, there's more to life.
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>>16451690
Thanks for the advice. I do need to improve a lot about myself
>>
>>16451682
kek, of course
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>>16421993

This is the time to go into overdrive mode and not let your dreams be dreams. Find something you love, latch onto it, and work on it every spare minute you have.
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I'm in the same boat, OP.

I have a hunch that comparing yourself excessively to others and having low self esteem are symptoms of depression.

It's not so much something you can consciously snap out of with "mental exercises" or "learning to love yourself" or "stop excessively comparing yourself to other people". Other people don't have to have these thoughts, they somehow naturally never seem to fall into the hole. It's depression. Work on your depression and the whole world will brighten up. Unfortunately depression could be caused by pretty much anything.
>>
>>16453359
I don't have any real dreams though.. I'd like to make a lot more money, but that's it at the moment. It's not like I want to be an artist or anything
>>
>>16453459
Maybe I am depressed... I think for now, not comparing myself to others and the other things you mentioned are what I have to put a large effort in trying to do
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>>16438269
>Shortstack on the right

I'd tame that ass.

Moar.
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>>16438269
Whos the girl on the right I'll break nofap for that.
>>
>>16454241
>>16454244
Don't know brehs
>>
>bumped into my oneitis at work
>talk for a minute about work, then realize I can't keep a conversation and try to leave the convo as soon as possible
I want to ask her out, but I don't want to be rejected and if we do go on a date, I have have a feeling it will be 90% awkward silence. What should I do, keep pretending I'm not interested in her?
>>
I have two friends just like you, who sheltered themselves for too long during adolescence and never really stopped being autistic betas.

The key is getting a job. Years ago I was the epitome of NEET, and one day I woke up and said, holy fuck, this is getting bad. So I forced myself to get a full time job, and I left my parents house one month later. Got my own apartment in the city.

It's about forcing yourself out into the cold hard world. I lost my social autism from it too. The real adult grind requires you to be normal. This is why you rarely see fully grown autistic men. They just became fed up with the bullshit of reality and stopped giving a fuck.

It sucks but, really, it's life.
>>
>>16439664
No, books won't help you. Do normie stuff. Watch TV / Netflix / Movies. Get into a sport (I tried 3 before I discovered a love for snowboarding) Start exercising. All great examples of how to become more social / confident / normal.
>>
>>16455045
I have a job though
>>
>>16455056
Thanks, I do watch tv/movies though. I'm not good at sports but have started rock climbing
>>
>>16435149

Yeah, man, it's almost as if these weird internet people were telling you it's much easier to get friends when you're the kind of person people actually enjoy being around.

Wong is a hack, Cracked is full of feminist knights and there's click bait enough to make PornHub brush, but this article actually has the right idea:

http://www.cracked.com/blog/6-harsh-truths-that-will-make-you-better-person/
>>
>>16455667
Thanks. But I'm not funny or witty. And there's not much interesting about me. Do I need to wait years to learn skills before getting a gf or friends...
>>
>>16454241
>>16454244
this
>>
>>16455667
What skills should I even learn. And how good do I have to be at them.

I'd like to play guitar, learn another language, program, and invest in stocks. But how good do I need to be at these things
>>
>>16455031
>oneitis

What is that exactly?

Like I'm crushing on someone but it's more my brain is just latching on to someone who is 'attainable'...funnily enough I'm still out their league.
>>
>>16455667
>read article
>name 5 impressive things about yourself
I have zero. what are impressive things I can learn quickly
>>
>>16457003
iktfb
>>
1. Get rid of most of your shitty ass clothing.

2. Pick a cool looking dude and copy his style completely. Mix with others if you need to. You can even look at a goddman magazine.

3. What kind of area do you live in? Is it a city? Dress like a young hipster. Hipsters are social scum and generally accept most people. If you dress well enough, women will notice, I guarantee it. Don't give me any bullshit about how you want a woman who likes the way you normally dress.

4. Get a fucking haircut. Make it something you like, don't worry about what people on the street are gonna call you.

5. I doubt you're gonna do this part but you need to go to the gym and at least try to get a routine started. You can start with no weight body exercises. Just do a shitton of burpees every day. Going to the gym changes your mindset, it's like meditation.

6. Go for girls you know.. just know when to stop and when to keep going. A lot of the time, stopping will make the girl more curious about you. It's a tricky business that nobody around your age has completely figured out.

7. Go outside. Outside of the circles that you're obligated to interact with (School, old friends, etc) and pick up women. If you are dressed well, this is easy because you will see women in their late 20s actually approach you. Just know that when women ask you for directions or anything, they are HITTING ON YOU. Read the fucking signs, people do not waste their time on anything, they are giving you time for a reason. Younger women will do things like sit near you and simply make themselves available to you, learn how to read this as well. This is a city situation, which is easier since there's an insane density/variety of people. I imagine malls are the same in suburban areas.
>>
>>16458071
8. Nobody gives a fuck about you. Even if you are the most important person in someone's life, I guarantee you that you encompass about 1% of their thoughts. Nothing you do really matters in the end, so do whatever the fuck you want. There's nothing to be embarrassed about, and it's really annoying to be around someone who is trying to project someone they are not onto people.

9. Consume drugs only once a day. Do not make it an all day thing. It won't work anymore and it will cost too much money. I usually keep drugs to after work, or after school, and that would be after most of my work is done. You will get higher this way as well.

10. The basics are always important. Remember what your parents taught you. Hygiene. Brush your fucking teeth and take showers you dirty fuck.

11. Looks do not matter. Race does not matter, your social class does not matter. Only your mindset matters, and it will show on your face.

12. Change your fucking shitty mindset. You will eventually find that people are nearly psychic. Most people read you within one second, and they pretty much know all of your thoughts because they have lived long enough (even young 20s) to see many copies of you. They know when you are upset, and they know why you make shitty decisions. You are transparent at all times and if you are upset, they will be upset. It's inappropriate.
>>
>>16458075
>drugs
>>
>>16458075
13. About conversing with women, or people in general.
You might be at a point in your life when most of the things you say just fly out of your mouth, even when you are silent most of the time knowing that most of the shit you say is stupid. You really need to figure this out.

In the case of women, if she likes you enough, she will be nervous to the point where she is saying random stupid shit as well. If you don't see this happening, which you generally won't see with women in their late 20s, you just need to PRACTICE and get the feel for what is appropriate chat. With women of course you will need to progress things, like asking her out on a date and such.

Talking with people in general: Do not try to convince anyone that you are smart, people know what you're doing and nobody is gonna give you any time to do that shit. They will literally start walking away from you.
Don't talk about yourself too much, try to not do it at all. Try to get them to talk about themselves, it is easy for people to do this.
You can talk about what is happening around you, but do not just talk about random fucking objects that have no content, it will be seen as nervous banter.
>>
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>>16458088
It all comes down to you not pretending to be depressed all the time. Depression is just whining, fucking deal with it. I could elaborate on any of the numbers if you'd like me to.

Go get that blonde, OP.
>>
>>16458103
This, get yourself together mate
>>
there are plenty of girls who would fuck virgins, and if she likes you enough its not even going to matter. lets be real.. lots of girls have very low standards.
>>
>>16458103
Elaborate on 12 please. What is the best way to change your mindset and the best mindset to change to? I've been changing my mindset by identifying bad habits and correcting them but it's a very slow process . Still after hearing myself say something I hear how bad it comes out , how did I think it was a good idea to say that with that tone, and I feel hopeless. It's like my mindset infects my language and tone. The first time I heard myself on a recording I could not believe what a dick I sounded like.
>>
>>16445991
Jonathan, what are you doing on the roof?
>>
>>16422090
>Smug anime shitposter
>Trying to convince anyone that he isn't a 400 ib neckbeard
hue
>>
>>16458071
I do 1-5 already. For #6, I don't know many girls. For #7, no one stops to ask me questions. I'm rarely on the street anyways. Noone has spoken to me at the mall
>>
>>16458075
#8 - that's true somewhat. but i want friends and people think about who to be friends with.

#9 - i don't do drugs

#10 - i'm hygienic

#11 - tbqh attractive people are usually friends with each other. same thing with people of the same race and social class

#12 - i need to do this and generally be more positive
>>
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>>16458088
#13 - i just never say anything in conversations. i don't know what to say or if it's good enough...

>>16458103
i don't pretend to be depressed or anything. i don't think i put on a sad face outdoors. i don't whine to others, except when i'm on /adv/ and i'm looking for help

>>16458190
no girl has shown any interest in me though
>>
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>>16459686
>>
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>>16457044
bump
>>
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>>16458103
>pretending to be depressed
not pretending to be anything

>>16458161
>get yourself together
if i could do this easily, i already would have
>>
>>16458071
>Just know that when women ask you for directions or anything, they are HITTING ON YOU
the only people who ask me for directions are tourists, people who look in a hurry and the elderly
>>
>tfw still the same position as when i started this thread
>except 2 weeks older
>>
>>16421993
Wow the only difference between you and me is you have a job and I don't hate myself.
>>
>>16461656
holy shit it's already been 2 weeks? right in the feels m8
>>
>>16461656
God damn it. You've been crying for three weeks? What the hell is wrong with you.
>>
>>16430709
This guy has a fucking awesome outlook and I enjoyed reading it very much, thank you

.>>16458071
and number 8 anon, number FUCKING 8. Just appreciate the smaller things, get outside and remember no one really gives a shit about some aspie in the street and those who do FUCK EM. I feel like im beginning to go full Shia lebeouf here. Fact of the matter is, if your mindset is calm and collected - at peace even, then people are going to feel more comfortable around you,

>>16458075
Number 9, be the chilled stoner who isnt actually a stoner.
As for being "4 years behind". come on dude, you're never behind if you're happy.

Sorry I can't post more as its like 5am and im in struggletown central.
>>
>>16421993
Is op still there? Haven't read the thread fully but I would recommend this :

Make friends with people in your area/people you meet weekly or daily even. (You might have to go out more)
Start with the smallest steps. Ask them for the time.
Slowly make your way up your life. You will stumble but it will all pan out.
>>
>>16461883
Same guy.

Read through the whole thread.
The way I see it :
Basically you feel that you have wasted your life. You feel like everything is meaningless. You feel like if you start rebuilding your life it will be hopeless. Even if everything works out fine you'd still be flawed.

When the human brain feels that it is useless and hopeless, your whole body just becomes depressed. This is an evolutionary feature.(don't quote me on this, I'm just explaining from my general knowledge)

You can't reason your way out of depression. Sure, eventually you'll have shut your brain up, but you won't act and get your life together.

My advice : don't give up. Live. Turn off all the electronics. Just sit and feel your surroundings. Maybe you can only do this for a minute. Just keep going. Eventually, you'll go past regret and start, no matter how small, working to make your life better.

Tldr turn off electronics and think.
>>
>>16461883
>>Make friends with people in your area/people you meet weekly or daily even. (You might have to go out more)
i don't meet anyone though, go out where? the only place i go with people is the climbing gym, but i don't talk to anyone there

>>16458071
>6. Go for girls you know
the only girl i know, that i might actually have a chance with, is the girl from work that i have a crush on. but she doesn't seem interested at all
>>
>>16421993
>spend all my time inside

That's your problem.
>>
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>>16462390
i'd like to hear of some suggestions of things i can do alone by myself 'outside'

most of the responses here are 'go outside'. but go where, and do what?

most people that go outside do it because they have a social life. they have friends they go to restaurants and bars with
>>
>>16462423
Most 30-something guys tend to have way less of a social life than what they show on Facebook or what they're showing elsewhere, but I'm in the same boat where even by those standards I'm basically a shut-in, so what do I know.
>>
>>16432984
>I wonder if the internet has increased the number of NEETs/Shut-ins?
Definitely. I know for certain that withut internet, I would go out a LOT more, if not almost double the amount I go out right now. But the internet is a simple, comfortable solution to a lot of personal problems for most shut-ins. It basically allows them to remain in their comfortable zone for extended periods of time without feeling too many mental drawbacks.
>>
>>16443963
>my parents had be saddled with debt and ruined by credit by the time I turned 19. Couldn't even get a federal student loan so no college.
Ouch :( too close to home. Parents got hit hard by debt after the coin of my country dropped. Couldn't afford college and here I am now, at 23 with no real prospects. I did save a lot of money but I've been out of school and in the working field for so long, I think I will fail everything. I barely even know baic mathematics anymore, but I do enjoy reading, composing music and writing to keep my mind sharp and sane.

Still, I don't even know what should I study now. I want architecture so bad but since I haven't done any math since 18 or so, I'm almost sure I'll fail.
I'm still applying for it though, but I feel it'll be a waste of money to get private lessons.

I'm not killing myself only for the sake of my family who are the best people I could ever ask for.
hold me anon, I want off this ride.
>>
>>16462499
Let these dubs prove that you'll make it, anon. I wish you all the best of luck.
>>
>>16462423
staying inside all the time is a problem.
but 'just go outside' is the answer,but hard to do, build confidence, get used to talking to people you dont know, make small talk, even try going out on your own and socializing with people,maybe not in your home town at first because you will fuck up but somewhere else just to build confidence,become confident,act confident.
>>
>>16462692
will be traveling to a new city tomorrow, was going to actually force myself to go outside
>>
>>16443288
Cognitive Behaviour Therapy, in case you weren't trolling :)
>>
>>16451614
Some people (like you apparently) are good at something without caring about it. Others (like OP and myself) do care about it, but are really bad at it.
Part of that is indeed because of lack of practice, but there's this negative feedback loop of shyness, fear, nervousness, etc leading to screwing up and/or avoidance and reinforcing those issues and further eroding confidence etc.
Your advice is right though, it's just really hard to apply for someone in such a situation :)
>>
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OP here

>realized i haven't changed at all in the past year
>still shy, still friendless, and spend my time indoors
>still a kissless virgin
>met my oneitis at work exactly one year ago, realized how pretty she was, but still haven't asked her out or made any progress into getting her to like me
>still have no hobbies
>still make average income and dislike my job
>just lost some weight
how can i make it in 2016?
>>
>>16430709
Wow Holy shit this was enlightening.
>>
This thread is fucking awesome.
>>
>>16464417
By not thinking about everything you didn't achieve and instead focus on what you did achieve.

>just lost some weight
This should be:
>This year I put in effort to lose weight and it was successful, I'm the best

You won't achieve anything by sticking to thinking about what you do right. If you feel that you're not doing things the way you want to identify that and reward yourself mentally every time you do something that is in the right direction. Focus on how big a person you are for managing those things. You can only look forward if you want to improve.
>>
>>16464545
i know i should reframe things, but it's hard.

even my weight loss, i think i look better, can see abs. but no one has commented on it. except for my parents who tell me i look worse than before
>>
>>16464589
Are you doing this to get compliments from your parents or to feel better about yourself? You're the one who dictates your happiness. Do things which make you happy.
>>
>>16464417

One day, a group of ants, totally new to a forest, in a far away land of dragons and unicorns and elephants and bisons, decided they needed shelter.

So they find a broken piece of log wood which was hollow from inside. Months after months of hard work, they utilize the hollow log of wood and colonize the whole area around it. The Queen Ant is always inside this newly carved out place of regal excellence of the ants' collective hardwork.

The ants multiplied quickly, and from just about a handful bunch, they grew to a population of hundreds of thousands.


Be it rain, storm, drought, whatever, they survived it all. With their strong will and hard work and collective determination, they made that place their home. Home to lakhs of new born ants and thousands of ant families that spawned. They'd have barbeques, place football, have picnics, feast on hunted down spiders and roaches and locusts, and have a merry well time.


One day, a group of elephants was passing through that area. One of the ants saw this, and started thinking. Suddenly, as the elephants went by, the whole damn ant colony was destroyed in just a matter of minutes.
The elephants trampled upon their home, and their population. Killing almost all the new born ants, the families, the queen, the log of wood now being in powdery wooden sawdust.

Everything was destroyed. No trace of their existence could be even found, after a couple of weeks of rain and storms. Plants and mushrooms grew where once the flourishing kingdom of ants stood so proud and prosper.
Nowhere to be seen or remembered now, by any last trace of them.

Just.. Wiped out. Gone.
>>
>>16464613
I suppose I should be doing it for myself
>>
>>16443288
Holy shit I kek'd so hard
>>
>>16435149
You got it
>>
>>16464650
You're saying nothing matters? Like everyone is insignificant? Maybe in the grand scheme, but personally and from my point of reference, that's just not true
>>
>>16428852
that made me smile

i think that too, sometimes.
>>
>>16441563
stop posting pictures of attractive people, ive only ever fucked chubby girls / sluts and i havent fucked in a year and a half
>>
>>16446830
I know that feel bro

a southern or new yorker accent would be awesome too
>>
>>16455045
this

being an adult is objectively worse than being a child, get over it.
>>
>>16430709
ill gloss over the fact you cant type for shit, because what you say is very true, and very calming.
>>
>>16429626
>no one is better than anybode else, everything you ever did or said could be observed as an action or behavior of the apex life form.

lmao

i love that
>>
>>16465389
I suppose my concern are that these are long term solutions, with no guarantee of working
>>
>>16465941

I didn't mean to infer that. Our time is limited, and we should not squander it away on useless things. We should build - ourselves or things or concepts which would help the world. It doesn't matter that one day we'd be gone. All we have is the today. The decisions we make and the actions we take today, will shape how our future turns out.

The only difference between us and the ants is that we know that one day we'll meet the same fate (not exactly get trampled by elephants, but you get the gist). And that is a plus. We can plan our limited lives wisely.
>>
>>16466547
thanks for clarifying
>>
>>16466004
That's still better than me
>>
>>16468090
No it's not. Have you learned nothing from this thread?
>>
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>>16464417

My retarded parents didn't even let me go out till i hit 21.

Now i tried to go out on weekends with friends till they realized how socially shit iam and now they don't want to go out with me.

I used to go to cons and was actually happy if people wanted photos of my cosplay and girls just talked to me i could talk about somthing i knew, even invited girls to coffee even managed to get my 1st kiss.We fell for eachother instantly.

Had to go back home shitty village and she didn't wanted long distance i still regret not going after that girl.

Atleast try, it won't happen magically.
I still have my v card hitting 23 this december.

Try and fail or try and succeed.
Engineering uni sausagefest sux.

I'm skinny, socially retarded, i work out but only abs at max 5/10.

I don't know ur age and what u are interested in
At uni everybody hates me for no reason at all.

Go to bus stop see huge poster haloween party,
went there saw girls having costumes, go to girl cool costume i like it my name is anon...
Didn't went well.

See another girl sitting music plays, Hello there i like this song do you want to dance?
Dance with girl while dancing we talked a bit like what hobbies we have etc.

If u want just friends go to events u like i go to cons but i hit 22 and i feel too old for that shit.
>>
>>16464417
>met my oneitis at work exactly one year ago, realized how pretty she was, but still haven't asked her out or made any progress into getting her to like me

It's just a minor fixation, infatuation or whatever you want to call it cause she is either some sort of weird constant or according to your brain she's 'attainable'. It's the same with me, just a minor infatuation, don't actually, really know her apart from their name and sparse conversations over the course of a year. I'd say my brain is tricking me into thinking she is as cute as hell but there's an odd lack of ugly people where I work.

>no hobbies

Part of the reason why I don't say much to them. Would probably get awkward silences coming up with nothing to fill the void. You could fix that.

>still make average income and dislike my job

This I'm sure you can improve on, money can't buy you happiness but you'd rather be crying in a Ferrari. Plus if you get enough, you can build up a false persona or something, money can blind people to what you really are.
>>
>>16469365
>but i hit 22 and i feel too old for that shit.

Went to my first one at 25, and yeah, got that same feeling. All the people my age there had already established social groups and the rest were just dumbass kids.
>>
>>16469624
OP here, it does feel like I'm too late. A lot of people already have their social circles cemented. To add me would mean less time for someone else
>>
>>16421993
1. Find other aspies
2. Make friends with other aspies
3. ????
4. Profit!
>>
>>16422018
You forgot to consider trolling
>>
>>16427614
Doesnt matter if you make a good one, or if you even finish it. Its not a competition, just work on it. Pick a task, any task, and work at it. Become a prostitute if thats what makes you happy, it doesnt have to be a good goal, just something. Im socially awkward too, i procrastinate and do poorly in most things i attempt to do, inckyding my school work (first year comminity college). Not at one of my high points at this time, but im still trying, and im not going to give up, not ever. Every now and then, i get a small victory. I find plenty of things that bring me joy, and im doing quite well i think. There has to be something you can do at least half decently. Maybe working as a cashier, or racing go carts?
>>
>>16470158
So it doesn't matter what it is and how good I am?
I lift regularly, I'm somewhere between beginner and intermediate in my lifts. But I'm still pretty weak tbqh
>>
>>16470053
Has anyone in OP's situation successfully built up a social circle? I don't want to be friendless in old age. I guess there will be opportunities if I manage to have a family. I can make friends with the fathers of my child's friends right? Or is that a mother only thing.. Or i die virgin anyways or future children are friendless outcasts kek My dream job also makes it very hard to have a family even for normies. Better embrace it..
>>
>>16470132
"trolling" is even more pathetic
>>
>>16470127
I want normie friends though
>>
>>16470807
>implying anyone that's made it would still browse /adv/
>>
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I dont really have an advice but since I really want to help you up I hope this brings you further to your goals.
>>
>>16470807
Kind of a depressing thought of someone being...foolish enough to get with you and having only a bleak future to offer them. Imagine the wedding with only the bride's side being filled. Just doubling unhappiness.
>>
>>16473441
>inviting so many non-family members to weddings
autism
>>
>>16421993
You have low self esteem and thus compare you life to others.

If you actually wanted to do what they're doing I feel like you would, but first you need confidence.
>>
Baby. Fucking. Steps.

Baby steps, anon.

Realize that stuff like having a qt gf, traveling the world, and having a promising career is going to take some time (years), but in the end it will totally be worth it.

Get your degree if you haven't already. To get out of the house, join a local coed sports league. Try a kickball league or novice softball. As long as you aren't completely obese, you'll do fine. People don't care if you're not a great catcher/hitter, everyone joins these leagues to meet new people and get drinking buddies. Now chances are you aren't going to find a gf or make best friends the very first game of the very first season. The point of joining is not to get laid or get friends, it's to get you out of the house and practising your socialization skills. If you actually push yourself to talk to people during breaks, you will slowly learn social etiquette and over time (months) you will start becoming a normie. This is a good thing, trust me. As a former NEET turned normie, I have to admit we get down in the dumps sometimes, but a bad day as a social person with a job beats the hell out of a good NEET day with 8 hours of 4chan and 6 hours of LoL
>>
>>16473717
Is there anything I can do other than sports? I have some health conditions (I'm not overweight)

I do have a degree and a job too
>>
>>16473582
What kind of dead weddings did you go to?
>>
>>16473588
trying some CBT resources I've found.. what can I do to get confidence?
>>
OP here

>had lunch with client
>I'm silent as fuck
I literally have nothing to talk about... and don't know how to conversation
>>
>>16474527
Traditional ones
>>
>>16476360
Yeah well, the ones I went to had loads of people from both the grooms and brides side. If someone was stupid enough to get together with me, I can only imagine the disappointment on their face when only 3 people turn up.

>>16475699
>client
Thought you had no job.

>nothing to say

Know the feeling. I envy at how other people can easily conversate.
>>
>>16422027
OP here, currently in a new city for work. At a hotel.

I feel exactly the same. Haven't met anyone, locals or tourists
>>
>>
>>16475168
Learn about yourself more and be okay with it. From your likes/dislikes to what values you believe in, know them inside and out and stand behind them. It's the core of confidence.
>>
>>16478222
Thanks, I will try that
>>
>>16476949
Hey there.
I move a lot around and have a very hard time keeping in touch with people I know.
I didn't have sex until I was 19, btw.

I suggest you go out and talk to some complete strangers.
YES, I know it is hard, it might feel awkward, but that is the point.
You have to get out of your comfort zone. If you like bars, go to a bar and talk to the first person that doesn't talk to anyone.

In No particular order:

A. Don't start with your name, or ask for theirs! This is a social environment, not a job interview.
B. Don't ask too many questions about them at first. Tell them a cool story that is no more then 30-60 seconds and somewhat relevant.
C. You can start with a general question that you are curious about. "Have you ever been to the empire state building? I am new in town and wondered what day would be good."
E. Convey personality and character. If you want friends you cannot ask them to be your friend; you have to want them to be yours. Your life IS interesting, trust me; everyone's life is if you find the right things to say. (What did you fuck up that you are 4 years behind? That is bound to be a good story!)
F. Don't only talk to hot girls or girls in general. Talk to the bartender, the waiter, the doorman. You need to learn everyone's name and everyone should learn your. It's called proofing a location. I have 2 bars, 2 restaurants, 2 pubs, and a coffee shop (working on the second) that are proofed. When I walk in I get hugs from the waitresses, high five from the bartender, and the owner greats me with a handshake. That took me about 1 year total. If you ever go out with either a girl, guy friend, or just some co-workers, when you walk in a place like this you will gain MASSIVE amounts of social proof and social value.
G. Break the mold, be the exception. This is Important, but goes along with everything else. If you are talking to someone and you notice that they broke their arms and its in a cast, do NOT mention it.
To be continued..
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>>16478835
How do I do B and E? I'm not very interesting and don't much charisma or personality, don't have any good stories

Plus, I've looked at bars, most people are there with friends. Hard to find people there by themselves
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>>16478835
G,2. Why not mention it? Simple, because everyone under the sun has already asked him or her about it. These questions get tired. Do the opposite, stand out. If they bring it up, then you can ask, but again, be unusual.
H. You can dress however you like, but ALWAYS be clean. Seriously. A clean jeans and starched button down shirt from wallmart will impress more then a worn out Armani dinner jacked with stains on it.
I. This is related to H. Always be clean yourself! Get a good haircut that fits to you. Take a shower before you go out, brush your teeth, shave you you feel a bit tough around the cheeks, trim your nails, use moisturizing lotion. It does not matter if you are 250lb and have never seen the inside of a gym, you need to be clean and you know how to dress.
J. Work out a little. As I have said, it doesn't matter if you are fat, but to be healthy doesn't hurt. New York has some great jogging areas around central park or battery park. Don't worry about people looking at you. Looks will never hurt you and most people are far to busy with worrying about other people looking at them. Getting fit takes time, don't sweat it (Pun intended!). Don't plan to be a model in a year, but do your best.
K. Get a hobby. This might be a bit odd as it does not directly involve meeting people. However it will be something that you can say and that makes you look interesting when you DO talk to someone. Btw, CoD or League doesn't count, sorry. It needs to be an outside hobby, a sport, or an intellectual activity. Good ones include, paintball, golf, rugby, painting, writing fiction, bird watching, fishing, canoeing, go skydiving, and a few hundred more.
L. Related to K. Be passionate about your hobbies. This is VERY important. Find something that anyone can relate to in your hobby and talk about that feeling. If you like comics, talk about the art or the way some comics tackle social issue in a way that can bring them to a much younger audience.
to be cont..
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>>16478858
So you are new in New York, great city btw, I was there a few months ago for a seminar on social psychology. It was in that old warehouse building in the Bronx. It was all decked out on the inside as something like an idea factory. New startups could rent offices cheaply and talk to others that are in the same boat. A good number of people actually ended up working together on the same projects. The spirit in that building was amazing! People were bouncing ideas left and right off each other.

Oh will you look at that, I was telling a story ;)
Sorry I had to. It is really that easy though.
I like this story, which btw it mostly right. It shows that I travel, that I am improving myself, that I am interested in new ideas, It conveys emotions that most people can associate with, and it is interesting to some extent.
Now it is not perfect. I like to include a twist and more of a narrative then a descriptive text usually, but a bad story is better then no story.

to be continued
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>>16478858
>I'm not very interesting and don't much charisma or personality, don't have any good stories

Not true. Trust me.
No Joke.
Every human life is different, everyone is unique. You need to find the stories that are within you.
You fucked up as a kid/teen and it set you back. That's a story.
You moved to New York from somewhere else to get a better job. That is a story (and it also shows that you have a certain degree of ambition)
Did you ever meet someone that had a lasting impact on your life, like an old friend, a movie star that you met personally, a family member, etc. That is a story.
Have you ever done gone out of your way to help a friend that was in trouble, drive an hour to fix his/her tire, pay bail, taken over a shift because they got sick. Those are stories.

A good story doesn't have to be about saving the world. It just needs to be something that has happened in your life and that you are proud of or remember for some reason.
>>
When I was young I was shy, VERY shy. I rarely talked to any of my class mates, and even some of the teachers didn't know my name because I never said a word. I was a little overweight (but luckily naturally muscular so I never got much bullied), was too much into computer games for my own good, and actively tried to not socialize with anyone.
I think you know the drill.
I had my first girlfriend at 18, and we didn't actually have sex for about a year because I had no idea how to get that going. The first time we had sex I am sure was just pity sex, or to get it out of the way finally. I was always very passive in anything I do.
We broke up when we changed schools and I wen tot a different college. At this time I found out that one of my best friends was banging her behind my back. Now he works at a gas station, karma is a bitch :D.
Anyway.
I ended up not giving a fuck what people at the new college thought about me. I wanted to be an ass, but still get friends. So I was cynical a lot, and made off color jokes.
To my great surprise no one cared. Since barley anyone knew me they just assumed that was how I was.
I started to study marketing a little because I wanted to find out how people thought. Marketing is basically psychology that is actually useful. I got really into it and studied up on conversation skills, and public speaking.
I ended up with a double major in Marketing and Communications. (not that great I know, but fun)
Now I work in sales at a marketing agency. Talking to people is NOT a natural talent that some have and some don't.
It's a skill. A learn-able skill. Like any skill it requires training and you will not be good at it at first. Don't rush it, but make steady progress every single day. Start by talking to 4 strangers every day. It doesn't have to be a long conversation, just 2 lines each. Ask someone else in line at the bagel store what is good here or they like, if you see someone getting out of a nice car while you walk by, compliment them
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>>16478941
.. On it and ask how long they have had it, or how many horse powers it has, If you see something happening like a road block, a stopped ambulance, or a movie being made ask the nearest person what is going on, if you are in a store to be a new shirt (Relate to H.) Hold up two shirts and ask someone which one they think would looks better.

It would go something like this: "Hey, I am about to meet some friends, but I need a female opinion real quick. I just moved here and need to get some new shirts for the job I just started, Which one do you think looks better?"

Now, read that again.
First of all I did not start with a question, like "Could I ask you a same question". That is a no no, because nearly everyone would say, 'sorry I am busy'. Just start talking. A mantra you can live by is -Do not ask for permission, you are in charge-.
Second, Time constraint, You are meeting with some friends, you don't have time to talk long. This will put them at ease as they known that this interruption will not take long.
Third, I included that you are not from here. That is a seed for a future story and already reveals more of you to raise interest.
Forth, You have a new job, awesome! Let them know, without bragging. You are telling here about it to put the shirt buying in context. It would be completely normal to point out.
Fifth, That is the actual question, every woman on the planet cares about fashion. If they say they don't they are either lying or don't know that they are. (fyi don't tell them that)

I should point that it does not matter at all if you are really meeting with your friends, if you need these shirts for your job, or if you already know which shirt you want to buy.
It's the nature of the social game, don't worry to much about it.
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>>16478968
Thanks for all the advice, do you have other examples? I rarely spend my time trying on clothes.
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>>16479246
A lot depends for the occasion and venue, but it all depends how you feel in your clothing.
It is best to always dress a bit above the rest of the crowd at the venue (unless you are the host, long story). If you wear things that are a little nicer then everyone else you will stand out. Don't be afraid of the extra attention, that is a good thing. You don't have to go overboard right away, if everyone is wearing t-shirts you wear a nice polo shirt; if everyone is wearing polo shirts, you should wear a nice button down shirt. That being said, if you want to go crazy be my guest; I have worn a 3-piece suit to a rock concert at a biker bar before (not kidding). If to location has a dress code you should try to follow it, but again stick to the upper end.
I usually wear a button down shirt, jeans, black belt, and black leather shoes.
Personally I don't like short sleeve shirts, but usually roll them up.

There are a few major rules that I follow when choosing what to wear.
In no particular order as they are all important:
1. It has to be clean. Make sure that you wash everything that you think could possible smell. Humans are really bad at noticing their own body odors, so if you ever start wondering is something smells just toss it in the laundry. Same goes for stains. Small stain on the side that is hard to notice? Wash it. If something has a hole, patch it so that it cannot be seen anymore or toss it.
2. It has to fit. Most men wear their clothing WAY to big. I have done the same and still do for my hiking gear. Clothing that are loose might feel better, but look worse then fitting ones. If you wear an XL try on an L. It is OK to see the shape of your body. Even if you are a bit on the bigger side, its still ok. Try not to go overboard though, it shouldn't look like you are wearing a morph suit; This really goes for the pants, too. Try to get them to fit you well, but leave a little (no a lot) of room in the crotch.
3. Stick to Threes. What does that mean?
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File: Business-Casual.jpg (15KB, 280x375px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
Business-Casual.jpg
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>>16479446
3. Stick to Threes. What does that mean? Well, that is a bit hard to explain. Try to find three things that make your outfit. not more, not less. You can still wear more then three items of course, but other those should only complement or accentuate the main three. A nice pair of pants, a good looking shirt and a nice jacked for example. A cool scarf might look nice, but it could easily be too much for the outfit as a whole. A nice pair of cowboy boots, a nice belt+buckle, and a designer shirt works, but if you now add a hat or a fancy jacket it might become over bearing.
^ This rule is more of a guideline and if you find something that looks really great and if four special items, or just two, go for it.
4. Black to Black and Brown to Brown. No I am not a racist. Only wear one leather color at a time. Black belt and black shoes, brown shoes and brown belt. same goes for watches with leather bands. The wallet is not really an issue. Don't mix leather colors, just don't. (Picture is a good example)
5. No fedoras.
6. Find a style that you like and get used to it. As I have said before, I like to wear a button down shirt with rolled up sleeves and nice pair of plain jeans. It is basically a step below business casual. Jeans are very acceptable here in Texas, so you could even consider it business casual here, but probably nowhere else.
7. Google "Business Casual", It is in my opinion the best all round style. You can go to an interview, go shopping, clubbing, go on a road trip. While there are better option for each, you can in theory wear them for any of them. The Pic is a good, if not perfect example. (I personally don't like slacks).
8. Now that I said that you should find your style, try not to have the style define you. You are wearing the cloths, not the other way around. Wear different color shirts, and shoes/belt every so often. Sometimes add a tie and jacket, or sometimes just a polo. It's good to keep the people you meet on their toes.
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>>16479488
8cont. If people never know what you will wear you automatically, and without effort, add depth to your character.
9. If someone comments on your nice outfit, try not to make a big deal out of it. Acknowledge it in a friendly way and thank them for the complement, but also act like it is not that big of a deal (since you are always wearing nice things from now on, right). BTW, It doesn't matter if it was meant as a complement or a snide remark. Nothing cuts criticism faster then if you imply that they are a nice person and thank them for it. It will make you look good, because you are used to getting complements.


One more thing. Nothing of this has to be expensive. Don't wast money on clothing that will go out of style or have big fat labels on it (you are a great interesting person, not a branding billboard).
Try to go to discount places like Ross Dress for Less, or something like it. I went there yesterday and got 4 new shirts, Their original price was somewhere between 50-70$ each, but they had them for 10-15$ each. Yeah, That kind of rocks. No one can see where you bought that Armani shirt when you wear it.
Jeans are simple, walmart has good pairs for about 20-30. Slakes are similar if you shop around. You can call a store ahead of time to ask for prices, or go only. Saves a lot of time and money driving around.
If you want to buy a suit get one and have it tailored to you. It doesn't cost as much as you think, and can make a 200$ suit look like a 900$ suit.

And I want to stress the first point again. CLEAN.
Have everything clean, all the time, no exceptions. It does not matter how much you paid it or how well it fits, if it looks clean, smells nice, and is well well cared for, then it will look good.
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>>16479545

I don't know your size, but even if someone is a bit over on the scale you can dress with style
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>>16479567

If you don't like shirts then there are good looking options as well.

New York has a great library.
There are a few good books I can recommend if you are interested?
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>>16479446
Thanks, I think I have a good style, all my clothes fit well. I dress pretty well imo. Strangers have commented on my jacket. Well, only 2 people...

Was more interested in examples of places that I can start conversations and how I can do it
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>>16479598
Ahhhh!
Well, Pretty much anywhere actually. Waiting for the subway, standing in line at a deli, at a bar, in the library, at a park, ... etc.

It just matters how you start a conversations at each location. I personally don't like clubbing, far too loud and everyone's attention span is too short. In a high energy location you need to bring an above average energy to stand out. Every girl also expects to be hit on, so their natural defenses are up all the time. It's good practice though, as it's a target rich environment.
In New York I like the Gansevoort roof top for this. If you get in there before 9pm you don't have to pay any cover charge and hang out at the pool bar for about 2-3 hours, then the club and main bar open up. You still can't get into the club, but there are lots of people to practice on.

There are are some standard openers that you can use. I have used some with great success in the past. "Cashmere sweater" is a classic that works for calmer locations, like a bagel shop or park. Something like the "Is kissing cheating" opener is better for small groups in mid to high energy places.
Look them up, and learn them by heart, go to your mirror and practice them. Look at your mannerisms and body language.
Then go out and practice. After 10 people a day for a week and you will be miles ahead of the average joe.

You will have people turn their backs to you and be rude. But don't worry, that is part of the learning process. You can only get good at talking to people, when you go out and talk to people.
It kind of sucks, I have to admit, but there is no way around it.
There are more people in this world then you will ever be able to meet, so you will never run out of people to talk to.

Pic utterly unrelated
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>>16479713

I think the best way to start a conversation is asking a question you are genuinely curious about.
It is far more important how you say something, then what you actually say.

The basics that I learned are very structured but still accurate.
You have to use a time constraint of some kind to let the person you are talking to know you will only take a few seconds of their time. ("I am about to meet my friends, ..." "I have only got a second, but...." You get the idea)
Then you ask your question and give context (or the other way around).
"I am buying a sweater for my niece's birthday but I don't know her exact size ( <- That is the context), If it were you, would you rather have it a little bit to small, or a little bit too big? ( <- Question)"

This is a very standard POA opener. It's not magic spell, but it works great at starting a random conversation in a coffee shop. You can even go as far as to pretend to be on the phone and have a conversation with your friend about what size your niece is, which he does not know and you comment on it. This conversation will be "accidentally" overheard by your target to make it sound more convincing.
"....OH, Right, do you know Emely's shirt size? [wait] Well, that does not help at all. [wait] Yeah, I will think of something, bye" [hang up and look around for a second or two] [look at target at a 45* angle (this indirect pose will look less threatening then broad shouldering straight on)] "Hey, I only have a minute before I meet with my friends, but I could really use a female opinion. I am buying a nice cashmere sweater for my niece's birthday but I don't really know here size. If it where you, would you rather have it a little bit smaller or a little bit larger?"
There you go! The sweater opener.
I have used it exactly like this before, fake phone call and all.

I don't particularly like them, as I think they are a bit cheese, but I cannot not deny their effectiveness. It works.
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>>16479713
Thanks. I was wondering though..
How do you set a time constraint when waiting for the subway or in line at a shop? I have to go soon.. but after this train comes and I take it 10 stops to my destination. Or after I order my drink

I don't know when a good time is. And on top of that, I'm afraid I'll be inconvenient to them. They have things to do in their day too, like most people I see are either with someone else, or on their phone
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>>16478968
>>16479446
>>16479778

Thanks for posting bro.
I'm in a somewhat similar situation to OP.
Some great stuff in your posts.
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>>16479922
>waiting for the subway or in line at a shop?
"Hey there, My train/bus is about to come, but I could really use a female opinion real quick, I am want to buy a cashmere sweater for ...."
Bam, there you go. Public transports are great because you will genuinely have to leave very soon and everyone knows that.
If you two really hit it off in the 4-8 minutes until your train gets there you can just say something like
"Wow, It was so great meeting you here. I can't believe I would meet someone this interesting just waiting for the train, btw, My name is [name]. I am going to that sushi place/ dive bar / museum I was telling you about on Thursday, and I think you should come along if you feel up for it?"
IF: she says, yes:
"Awesome, here let me give you my number"
This is cool and works every time: You take out a pen and a random business card from some lawyer, cpa accountant, etc obviously not yours. You write down your number on the top side. Then you rip it in half and give her the pen and the half WITHOUT your number on. 9 time out of 10 they will start to write their number on it and when they hand it back to you, now your give them your number. If they are the 1 of 10 and look confused, look equally confused and point to your number and the pen/card your just gave here. I have never had it not work if they agreed to take my number. (basically you just asked a girl for their number, without letting her start the decision making process if she wants to give it to you or not.

To be continued...
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>>16480153
IF: She says that she doesn't have time, but gives you another day where she is free. That is just as good as saying yes. Think about it, she doesn't have time, but thought of a day when she does. This is a PRIME example of an ioi (indicator of interest).
Just run with the same business card routine as if she said yes.

IF: she says no or that she doesn't have time.
Well, bummer that. If your train really does come at this second say that you had a great time talking to her it was a pleasure meeting something this interesting and get on your train. It may not have ending in a date, but at the very least you asked, you tried, and you know more then before. It happens, That's part of life.
The most important thing is that you will not get discouraged and that you try to learn what you will do differently next time.

to be continued...
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>>16480181
Thanks for these tips.

Maybe I'm being too autistic, but I'm more worried about how to exit if I get turned down. Like, of I'm in line at a shop, or waiting for the train. Than that person will be in line too, or waiting for the same train... or am I supposed to speak to people not in line, or get on a different train car
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>>16480181
This one I should mention before I head out.

>I am going to that sushi place/ dive bar / museum I was telling you about

This is something called "Seeding".
Basically I was saying that during your conversation you should say a few stories, and also make a recommendation. (I may not have said it).
You should try to talk about at least one place in the area that you know, or want to know, and make a story about it. Talk about why it is important to you and why it is such a great place. Simply saying the food at the Thai is great is not enough; say that the chef at the Thai place has trained in Thailand and he is writing a book about rare spices (or something like that).
But at this point show not interest in her, or that you would want to take her there. She is some stranger you just meet, why would you want to invite a complete stranger to your favorite Thai place? Don't sell yourself cheap, if you convey the feeling that being in your life is something cool and not everyone is invited to the party, then you just made yourself rare.
Rarity=value. Its pretty silly if you think about it, but it is human nature and has been since the dawn of civilization.
As I have said at the very beginning, you cannot make anyone be with you, they have to want to be with you.

I have to go now, I am keeping this window open.
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>>16480212
You can speak to people in line, no problem. if the conversation doesn't go where you want it to, or if you notice that she has a gigantic mole make a graceful exit.
Lets assume, you did the sweater opener and she answered the question with some interest.
Now you can say something along the lines of.
[She answers your sweater question]
"That is a good idea, I think I might do that. I am new to the city, but its really great here. So much to see! have you heard about deli Y on X street? I heard they had some fantastic sandwiches." ( <- Seed)
[she says she is a vegan, which we will assume is a no-go for you]
"That is really neat, thanks again for your help, I hope you have a great day (or It was a pleasure talking to you)"
[ go back in line, turn a little away, or something like that]


If someone really is giving you a rude answer or even cuts you off mid-sentence in your opener you cannot get offended by it. That is a natural response in women to a potential suitor.
You can just take it and keep standing there, or make a little funny face and take it if she was making a joke with a comment like "Ouch! You should come with a warning label!" [give it a smirk]
Always be positive. Also a big one. A good mood is contagious.

In the end it not bad to get rejected, its part of the learning process.
The difference between a master and a novice ladies-man is that the master has been rejected more times then the the novice has opened.
Within a month or two you will get an open rate of around 50-70%, and a number-close rate of almost the same. After a year I would guess it's 80-90%.
I can guarantee you that if you stick with it, do research from books, practice at least every other day, and make some relatively small adjustments to your life you will be spending more nights with someone, then without.
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>>16460796
I understand OP. If there was a button, we'd all press it right away to fix our problems. It seems like you've got to go through some pretty extensive, but simple, processes to make big changes in your life though
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>>16480271
Thanks, I will try it out tomorrow
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>>16480289
Yeah, hopefully I can make it..
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>>16479713
I went to the mall. Everyone seems to be busy and trying to get somewhere... I chickened out..

The meeting my friends time constraint is hard for me as I don't have any friends
>>
Why does my wife insist that I drink so much pineapple juice lately?
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>>16482952
No worries man.
That happens. Don't think of it as chickening out. See it as a learning experience. Overcoming approach-anxiety is not easy.
In a way that will make you even better down the road, because you will be better at calibration. There are a few people that have absolutely no problem talking to a stranger. They simply don't care what others think about them. But on the flip side those people have a very hard time relating to people. It's very difficult for them to recognize cues from body language and rarely can predict how something they say will affect others. They tend to be on the Psychopathic spectrum to one extend or another.

It looks like you have good observation skills and are empathetic to others. Those are good traits to have!

I would recommend a few books:
The Rules of the Game, Neal Strauss
The Game, by Neal Strauss
My Secret Garden, by Nansy Friday
The Mystery Method, by Mystery

You can find them all on piratebay or get them as hard copy.
The first two are awesome and easy to read. The third is basically a woman telling stories of how kinky and horny women actually are. The last is basically the first book on modern PUA; some of it has been refined with later people, but it still holds true.
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>>16482952
One more thing.

If you want to start slow (I did too), you can work on things that don't require talking to people. This might sound odd, but keep with me.

Every day you are talking to someone. Be it the cashier at the grocery store, a coworker, a receptionist when you go to an office.
Tomorrow, try to remember their eye colors when you interact with someone. Male, female, young, old, doesn't matter. Obviously and attractive young female would be better, but this exercise is not about dating, this is about learning to keep eye contact.

If you feel up for it ask five people you already interact with (cashiers, bar tenders etc) a question. This can be anything. I like "do you know a good Thai place around here?" if they say yes and point you to that direction, great; If they say they have no idea, great; if they say they are to busy and cannot talk and turn their back to you, great.
Notice that their response doesn't matter. Any response is great. The only thing you need to do is open your mouth and say something. Then say, 'Awesome thank you' and be on your way. btw, service personal isn't allowed to be rude, and could probably use a small break from their monotony.
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>>16483562
>PUA advice

Come on man, don't you have anything better than that shit.
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>>16482952
>The meeting my friends time constraint is hard for me as I don't have any friends

Ok. one last thing.
It doesn't matter that you don't have friends or that you are meeting with the ones you do have.
It is a bit of a lie, true, but that's how the game is played. I am against out right lying, it only ends in trouble.
You have to see it from this side, I don't by a sweater for my niece every time I use that opener. However, what I am doing is trying to see if they are an interesting person by giving them a question were I can compare their answer to a lot of other women.
Therefore the question is legit, but what you want to know isn't about the sweater, it's how they answer the question to get in inside into their personality.


oh, two more books that I just thought of.
NLP: The New Technology of Achievement,
The Power of Habit, by Charles Duhigg (there is a good audio book for this one)

Any questions, I will keep the window open, but it might take me a bit to respond.
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>>16483602
What do you wan to know?
PUA is a sleazy and a bit creepy when you read about it. But this material still works all the same.
I am not dressing up in a purple leopard print tuxedo. You don't have to follow any of this to the letter, as a matter of fact i would suggest not to.
You take what you like, give it a try and see where it takes you. The part of you don't like I would still say are useful to know because to the reasoning behind them. It is often times not the "What to do?" or "How to do it?", but the "Why does it work?" that is important
>>
I'm 25. I've never been in an intimate relationship. I don't drive. Although there are people I call friends they don't really talk to me any more and I haven't seen them in ages.

But I am also a homeowner with a degree, a stable job, and no significant debt aside from a mortgage. I don't drink, smoke, or do drugs, so at least I've got that going for me too I guess...

I honestly wonder how I got this far in life while being so dysfunctional.
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>>16483562
Thanks for the advice.

I'm mostly upset at myself. I'm in Montreal on a business trip and apart from going to a few restaurants, I haven't done anything. Haven't met anyone, or done anything exciting.
I walked by so many bars/restaurants these past few days and everyone is inside sitting down in groups, laughing and having having a good time. While in posting on 4chan right now from my hotel room. My coworkers always talk about the cool people they met traveling and the things they do

Your advice about approaching people sounded like something that would be easier since im in a new city.. but I still failed
>>
>>
This is a nice fucking thread
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>>16483644
Heh, same here. 32, never even talked to a woman outside of my job, her job, or school. Never really had friends, just acquaintances, classmates, colleagues.
But somehow I've managed to get a steady job, bought a small appartment, all pretty basic, but I manage to get by financially without too much trouble (not really a lot of extra cash either, and there's still 19 years left on the mortgage, but no real money worries at least).
I feel so broken and alone though, and even relatively small improvements seem out of reach...
>>
>>16421993
This thread is still here? why?
>>
Your perception of other people is never the reality.

What you see on social media never includes the "behind the scenes" and if they have to post their lives on social media, they're probably not that happy.

The only thing you can do is be confident in who you are, no matter what. Let go of your ego and work hard for what you want. Never let "but they're doing it better" get in the way. It's never true, it's your mind playing tricks on you.
>>
>>16422012
wow fuck you dude. you don't know what the hell you're talking about.

this board is for advice, don't spread your toxic thinking around here. keep that shit to yourself, loser.
>>
>>16484660
^^^^^^
>>
>>16484753
I dont even use social media anymore. But there is the saying on the internet that what you see is their highlight reel. The problem is that other people's worst week might be going out to see friends once or twice. My best week, my highlight reel, is staying inside and being by myself.

Maybe they are not happy, but compared to me they should be happier if they at least have a social life
>>
>>16485201
What you say may be factually true (up to a degree), but won't really help you improve your situation. On the contrary, bitterness or jealousy will only hurt you.
Instead, try to be happy with what you have (even if it's not as much as you would like to have), and try to take small steps towards improving the situation.
>>
>>16484660
>>16484895
Because I still need help f.a.m.
>>
>>
>>
>>16422027
why would you want to stay at hostile?
Wouldn't it be better to stay at a friendly, or at least a neutral?
>>
>>16483756
>tfw last few hours in the city
>coworkers will ask how my trip was, and I'm afraid they'll think I'm lame
>>
>>16483644
>>16484643
29, at work, recently got an apartment.

No friends in the last 8 years, never had a relationship... why do people like us exist?
>>
>>16421993
How the hell has this thread managed to stay alive for almost three weeks?
>>
>>16489135
>spend all my time inside
I periodically browse this thread for changes and bump it once it gets to page 7-10... It's going to hit the bump limit soon, odds are I'll make a new thread when it does
>>
>>16489400
Let this thread fucking die already.
>>
>>16489095
I'm reminded of that classic Despair, Inc demotivational poster saying "It could be that the purpose of your life is only to serve as a warning to others" :)
Though due to our malfunction, we aren't exactly suited at spreading that warning very widely. Except those cases that also have a few extra screws loose and end up making the news when they shoot up their school / job / cinema / ...

That said, despite the fact that I still think I won't ever be able to make meaningful improvements, I'm still trying. Only small steps, and with lots of falling down, but it's better than nothing...
>>
>>16488054
hostel
>>
You need to find wingmen. I'm somewhat in your situation although I go out a lot (I still suck dick when it comes to courting).

I convinced to bros of mine to help out, so we'll see how it goes.

Also I do strongly recommend losing lots of weight and gaining muscle. In any order you like.
>>
>>16489095
I don't think was as many of us as there are now (still not that many) due to the internet forums. Without it we would've been forced to adapt or die (or find a niche or, for the crazies, shoot up the workplace.)

I mean, all those redpill/pua/gamegaters and other dumb shit have the same roots and only thrive cos internet forums have allowed lunatics to connect and reinforce dumb ideas.
>>
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>>16490806
that would be good if i had actual a bro to be my wingman
>>
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>>
Bump

>tfw coworkers are all confident and charismatic
>>
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>>
>>16421993
>>16421993
Bro I'm 4 years behind my peers because I stopped going to highschool in grade 10. Just keep motivating yourself to improve man, you can do it. We're all going to make it brah`
>>
>>16425317
>Telling a kissless virgin to pickup military grade pussy repellent
>>
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>>16494571
thanks, i am going to try my best
>>
>>16494912
Some people are just so lacking in social skills that they're not going to get laid any time soon. Something like playing Magic in some local card shop once a week can help them improve their social skills a bit, without being too scary. Yes, they'll just be interacting with other nerds, but it's still better than just sitting in their basement playing computer games...
>>
>>16495778
was thinking of following the PUA advice posted above and going to a bar/club and practicing tbqh
>>
>>16495778
dealing with other social inepts doesn't make your social skills better, otherwise betas wouldn't exist at all unless they lived 100% alone
>>
I enjoyed reading this thread, as I'm sharing a lot of the same mentalities as OP.

27, kissless virgin. I FINALLY just got a job in my field of study...working alongside 20 year olds. I'm constantly beating myself up for being so far behind at life.

Now I'm fighting and getting 3 hours of sleep a night trying to get caught up. I work 50 hours a week, and I'm bumrushing college. I'm a pro gamer, I volunteer, I trade stocks. I'm debt free and damn proud of it.

But I still have to somehow figure out how to squeeze in time for working out. Hanging out with friends and going out are pipe dreams that I have to schedule out weeks in advance.

Why couldn't I have just done this shit when I was 20 like the kids I work with.

I know the second best time to plant a tree is now, but goddamn it's tough when I know that the day where I cross the line of being financially stable enough to be even low tier boyfriend material may not ever come as I become increasingly old and ugly.
>>
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>>16496934
i know that feel. harder to find time to do things too

i want to make more money too, I just have an average income now. one of my coworkers is 5 years younger than me, and just accepted a job in investment banking. he'll be making 4 times my salary next year
>>
>>16421993
Get off /adv/ and get over to /fit/

Get a job and get off your ass you lazy fuck

Feeling sorry for yourself won't get you anywhere
>>
>>16497522
i'm thin, and do lift. i also have a job
>>
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>>16496835
It can improve social skills, but only up to a certain point obviously. If you're already above that point, it won't help, but if you're below it, it can be useful.
Other ways of learning social skills would theoretically work too, but they would be more difficult and/or scary, so they're less likely to be used consistently.
>>
>>16421993
>tfw 4 years behind peers because of fucking up (not getting a job due to bad university choices and lack of networking due to being aspie)
Stop comparing yourself with others. Doing so is a great way to torture yourself.

>socially awkward
Try to get some self-esteem by doing stuff you like and become good at it. E.g. learn an instrument, read books, do sports etc. You'll feel great once you see the first results.

>zero friends
This will change once you did the above. Finding a passion brings a lot of opportunities to meet nice people. If you're interested in music, concerts are a good example.

>kissless virgin
See above. Besides that, until the end of your twenties, relationships are overrated and here's why: most people are way too self-absorbed, even in relationships. If you manage to find a GF/BF, good for you, though.

>spend all my time inside
Don't. Go out for a walk once a day, maybe do some sports (swimming, gym, whatever). Really gets you a clear mind. If you really, really want to change, start thinking about turning your computer off for a week or so.

>everyone else has friends, go to parties, travel, do interesting things with their lives, etc.
You'll get friends eventually. Parties suck unless you want to do mediocre drugs and get shitfaced. The music sucks, too. Better have a few beers with your friends or neighbors every now and then. It's way more rewarding. For travelling, just save up some money by not buying shit you don't need for a while. Once this is done, ask on /trv/. They're really helpful people.
Also, most people's lives suck. It just seems like it because they have Facebook, Twitter, Instagram or some other shit. No one would honestly post how boring they are.

>what can i do to stop feeling like shit /adv/? i feel so pathetic
Go out, do sports, eat healthy, find something you like (vidya doesn't count). It's that easy. And don't compare yourself to others, ever.

Hope to be helpful.
>>
>>16421993
For the love of God, will somebody put this thread out of its misery? It has already broken all records for longevity.
>>
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>>16499274
thanks for the advice

>and become good at it
how can i become good at reading? or what is considered 'good'? i suck at every sport too, so it's hard for me to find something to be good at

>If you're interested in music, concerts are a good example.
do people actually make friends at concerts? seems like this is the hardest step, to find a passion that lets you find friends

>Better have a few beers with your friends or neighbors every now and then. It's way more rewarding.
i don't even have this though. most of my coworkers talk about this though. it's not always parties and traveling (though often it is), but usually they spend their time at a new restaurant with friends. or doing something with a friend (concert, sport, party, etc). even the stories they talk about have to do with something they did with a friend, or something that happened to a friend.
almost never is it a solitary activity they talk about or a story that doesn't involve a friend or being with friends.
>>
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>>16499293
i like this thread

>>16499413
read a lot, learn to differentiate bad literature from good literature

making friends at a concert is really easy, especially if there's a waiting line, just chat someone up

why don't you ask your coworkers to join them?

i'd be your friend but i don't live in murrica
>>
>>16499441
thanks

>why don't you ask your coworkers to join them?
i'm pretty quiet in social situations, they wouldn't want me around to just sit around and say/do nothing.

i think i'll make a new thread this afternoon or tomorrow as this one is hitting the bump limit soon
>>
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>>16499451
what makes you say that? that's projecting

you are already implicating they would not like you, which is not true. you are also pointing out you're quiet, so what? it's not like a conversation must always be between you and them. besides, a lot of topics will arise and they will ask you questions. on the other hand, you can ask them questions as well, especially since you don't know them at all.
>>
>>16499468
I suppose it's that from experience people like others who are talkative and have good stories or know interesting things. Im very quiet
>>
>>16500142
well, do you have any interesting storiers at all? I don't believe you don't, anything could be interesting to some people

with women i usually go for travel, pets, tattoos, that usually leads to relationships and if you can get a girl talking about her past relationships (just mentioning whether she did or did not have a boyfriend for example, or why did she break up with him) you can get really feel-y with her and that goes a long way.

with men, it's much easier
>sports
>gym
>WOMEN in general
>carreer stuff
>school, what they did, what they didn't, what they wish they did
>relationships, but only when you become a little closer
>outdoor activities, barbecue tips, poker shuffling techniques, etc

just ramble about everything

and yes you can probably recognize it's still me by the lowercase typing.
>>
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>>16447984
Righteous.
>>
>>16478835
>>16478881
Scriptfag provides a nice example, but desu, OP, I'd recommend making small talk with people around you every day in the same kind of way that you would grind for xp in a game. You will notice a greater smoothness to your words and branch out of the small talk circle soon enough.

You try to contrive the conversation in a certain way I don't think it works. I used to be very much like you and I would try the same shit.
>>
>>16421993
Get fit. That should take the edge off your autism.
>>
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well, OP here. looks like i get the 300th post. I think this is the bump limit for threads on /adv/

>>16500186
no stories..
i dont travel, have pets or tattoos. never had a relationship so it's hard for me to relate to someone else's relationship issues

some of the topics you suggest with men is easier. but it feels like most guys talk about sports, which i don't follow.

but in general, everyone's stories involve recent events that happened to them. going to a concert or sports game. trying something new, etc.

>>16500280
i do need to try this to improve

>>16500310
I am fit
>>
>>16500714
Nah, post number 300 will be mine.

And I call you a faggot.
>>
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>>16500930
it was mine, you have reply number 300

the thread still bumped though, guess the bump limit is 350
>>
>>16500714
post pic

>>16500986
it is, but what are you waiting for exactly?
>>
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>>16501001
of my body? i'm fit in that i'm thin and kind of have abs. i'm still DYEL tbqh, but i have a better body than most people

>it is, but what are you waiting for exactly?
just waiting for more advice and suggestions
>>
It's been almost a month OP when are you going to go away, keeping a thread alive this long just goes to show how autistic you are.
>>
>>16501781
I'm surprised this shit is still alive
>>
>>16421993
MY FUCKING GOD THE ASS IN THIS THREAD HNNNGGGGG
>>
>>16501827
Asses are for niggers

Tits are life
>>
>>16501784
I really just can't get into the whole "tits" thing. They're kind fun to fuck with or slap around while fucking and suck on just because it makes them moan and shit....

but I couldn't give less of a fuck about tits. I do not understand men who do. I get it logically (biology duh!) but really. When I see a nice pair of tits nothing happens in my brain. When I see this girls ass
>>16462423
My brain and dick-brain just about combust.
>I want to be the Kanye to your Kim K
>>
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>>16501854
A healthy cowtit over a big buttcheek anyday
>>
>>16501887
i just noticed the reflection

damn family
>>
>>16501887
nothing is really happening in my brain right now. My eyes glossed over her tits, went straight to her face, and her face is unsettling me. It reminds me of something... not a good something... but I can't put my mind on it.
>>
>>16501894
just imagine she shits from there
>>
>>16501904
I feel like we're at gay camp together and you're trying to fill me with the passion of christ to degay me...

It won't work man! IT WONT!
>>
>>16421993
What are you good at?
>>
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>>16501915
THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPELS YOU
>>
>>16501916
nothing to be honest. nothing i'm really an expert in
Thread posts: 314
Thread images: 67


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